#*experiment subjects

I was tagged by @thewriteflame. Thank you so much!! Please enjoy Valeska casually roasting the shit out of Carrion during their Big Argument.

“I wasn't thinking!” [Valeska] narrowed her eyes at his outburst. “You never are.” She moved towards the door, but Carrion stepped in front of it, blocking her path. Anger flared in his mind, heat rising to his cheeks. “That’s not my job,” he retorted, “it’s yours! And you weren’t exactly thinking either.”

Like:

Valeska: "I think I'm dying." Edelgard: "If you didn't want to answer my question, you could have just said so." Valeska: "No, I think I'm dying." Edelgard: "Why?" Valeska: [*explains that she's actually feeling emotions for the first time in her life, and that's bad*]

Edelgard: "Fear is natural. It keeps you alive." Valeska: "Fear is dangerous -- especially for someone with my condition [having survived Drakkenheim's fall]. 17 out of 39 [Academy children who survived] died that way." Edelgard: "If this is what they're teaching you at the Academy, it's wrong." Valeska: "This isn't what I was taught, it's what I observed."

Edelgard: "Did you consider Carrion a friend before [all the bad stuff happened]?" Valeska: "Mages don't have friends." Edelgard: "Okay, then, how did you regard Carrion before?" [*EXTREMELY LONG PAUSE*] Valeska: "I thought he was just like me."

Valeska: "But he sees himself as a monster. And if he sees me like him, the way I see him like me, that means he sees me as a monster."

THAT LAST ONE, HOLY FUCK. I'm almost nauseous thinking about it. Because the reason he sees himself as a monster is the exact reason she once told him she doesn't see him as a monster.

He sees himself as a monster because he hurt (and possibly killed) one of his best friends in the world. And then when he met Valeska, she was the first and only person to ever not be afraid of his rage form. It confused him, but she told him "Why should I be afraid of you? You didn't try to hurt me."

And now he hates himself more than ever because he hurt her and Edelgard, and because he scared her. He does not hate her, and he most definitely does not think of her as a monster. She's more or less the furthest thing from a monster in his mind.

I'm just losing my fucking mind over all of this. I need them to FIX THIS. I need them to be FRIENDS. I need them to be HAPPY. For Valeska to allow herself to feel things, and for Carrion to stop hating himself so much.

It almost physically pains me thinking about how much worse off they are now than even when they first met. Carrion has no idea how to fix this, and he doesn't even know half the reasons that she's mad at him. He's tried to apologize but he's terrible at it, and even if he wasn't, she doesn't believe him anyways.

Someone stab me, I think it would hurt less.

I was tagged by @akindofmagictoo. This isn't technically the last lines I wrote, but it includes the most recent line I added/edited, so it counts, okay? It's from Carrion and Valeska's argument from a few months ago.

“Your loyalty to the Academy is blinding you to anything else. I just want you to see there are other options.” “And so you believed that Oskar was a better choice?” [Valeska] scoffed. “That’s nothing short of foolish. The Academy has never done anything to hurt me, but Oskar would in a heartbeat.” Carrion froze for a moment. In all of their arguing he’d nearly forgotten the reason for it all. “I didn’t intend to tell him anything. It was an accident! I regretted it the moment I spoke—” “And yet you still haven’t apologized,” she noted. “—And I would take it back if I could,” he finished, ignoring her.

I'm being held at gunpoint to finish my Carrion fic from last year (aka, if I don't finish it, I don't get to read Valeska's player's fic about her modify memory spell being removed), and I desperately need something to focus on other than last night's session, so um. Enjoy Carrion having a bad time after his fight with Valeska.

(I'm vaguely considering this a fill for a 9 lines tag for @reneesbooks)

Carrion stalked into the night, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the road ahead of him. He didn’t know where he was going, and frankly, he didn’t care. Anywhere was better than that tiny room, with Edelgard’s disappointed frown and Valeska’s high-and-mighty voice bouncing off the walls. He let his feet carry him up the street, past other tiny houses filled with adventurers, paying no mind to where he was going. All he could see was Valeska’s face floating behind his eyes, expression unreadable. “I wasn’t thinking.” “You never are.” Edelgard’s voice echoed in his ears. “Was that really necessary?” “It was an accident!” He shook his head, trying to chase the two women out of his mind. Looking up, he realized he had come to a stop in front a run-down building. A sign swinging above the black-painted door read The Skull & Key. Unlike the surrounding buildings, the tavern was brightly lit, and raised voices and raucous laughter spilled out of the open windows. The door swung open every few moments to admit or release a new patron. Each time the door closed, the skull mounted on it rattled, its jaw clacking as if it were laughing along with the patrons. The idea of dealing with people wasn’t appealing, but at least they were distracting. And if nothing else, there would be alcohol. He stepped towards the door, but hesitated. Glancing up at the sign, he studied the design painted there. Something nagged at his brain. He’d seen that symbol before. Where? Shaking his head, he brushed aside the thought. It didn’t matter. This was a tavern. Taverns served alcohol. Alcohol would make it easier not to think. And right now he wanted nothing more than to never think again.

First and foremost I was already excited that Valeska was going to have Edelgard cast Zone of Truth on Carrion, bc I've always wanted to play under a ZoT spell.

BUT THEN, VALESKA GOT GREATER RESTORATION CAST ON HER, SO THE MODIFY MEMORY THAT GOT DONE TO HER YEARS AGO (AND THUS ALL OF HER BRAINWASHING) IS NOW UNDONE.

AND TO MAKE THINGS EVEN MORE INSANE, AT THE EXACT MOMENT THAT THAT GOT CAST, THEODORE WALKED INTO THE ROOM. (Mind you, Carrion is not there.)

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK/pos

I am quite legitimately nauseous with a combo of terror and excitement. I literally think this is on par with the Sigmar reveal in terms of my emotional intensity (but very different emotions). I can't think straight.

I was tagged by @oh-no-another-idea. Thank you for the tag! This is a perfect opportunity to share this really fun bit from my current Carrion WIP.

😁 Rules: share a snippet describing a smile – a genuinely happy smile, a forced smile, a regretful smile, an arrogant smile, or a full on corrupted and possibly evil smile – and have fun!

Oskar’s eyes brightened, and Carrion’s pulse stuttered. But it wasn’t directed at him. It was directed at her. “Your magic was changed, you say? In what way?” He leaned forwards, eyes bright and hungry. Though he wasn’t much taller than Valeska, his bulky frame made him appear to loom over her. “He’s lying,” she said. “He does that a lot.” Oskar smiled, and chills ran down Carrion’s spine. “Is he, now. Are you sure? If you would just let me study you, I could ma—” Hurriedly Carrion stepped between them again. “What are you going to do to her?” His voice low and tight, practically a growl. Oskar stepped back, still smiling. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m merely curious.” Something about the tone of his voice made the hair on Carrion’s arms stand on end. It wasn’t just the lie, as blatant as it was. No, it was something subtler than that. The same hunger in his eyes when he looked at Valeska was now directed at Carrion. He had a sickening feeling that Oskar had very much heard — and even worse, understood — Valeska’s comment about his own transformation. Coward wasn’t the right word, Carrion thought to himself. The truth was hungrier than that. Cleverer than that. Oskar was a scavenger: opportunisitc, eager to get his hands on anything he could. And that was much, much worse.

🐦‍🔥Phoenix: What is something that ended in your character's life (like a relationship or job or loss) that changed them in a big way?

🐉Dragon: What is one thing your character would protect at all costs?

Hello! Thanks for the question! I'm going to answer these for my two favorite disaster boys, since they both have excellent answers for it.

I'm going to be putting these answers under the cut because I talk A LOT.