#*converse.c

      * I was feeling slightly under the weather and what else to do than to go through fan letters full of love? I bet this is the best thing about being famous. The fans that dedicate their time and efforts into supportive letters and thoughtful gifts were the reason why I strive to climb up the ladder in the industry. 

And, being curious me, I always had to check through unnie’s fanmails also and see what gifts they gave them. One of the packages was for Jimin and it contained an eye patch. I giggled that I got to this first instead of her seeing it herself and throwing a fit over the Samuel L. Jackson thing.

     * My legs were crossed upon the wooden bench that sat right under a tree’s shade. Other than the sun being out and a friend next to me, I sat there unaware of my surrounds. I had my ears plugged with headphones that allowed me to mentally drift off. My head naturally stole a few times glances to the left to make sure he was still next to me as we did our separate things. 

My phone was shuffling through my whole music library dating back for years and soon the legendary G-Dragon bursts into my eardrums with ‘Ride or Die’. I glared at my screen for a few seconds in confusion to the whole meaning, really. I pulled one of the headphones out and patted his shoulder gently. It was a soft tap with my index finger as I was fully aware of his artwork that a little disturbance could ruin. I waited another few seconds before shoving my screen into his face to show him the song title and part of the lyrics. He’s smart and hip enough to explain to me this, right? Let’s see.

Seolhyun looked so incredibly serious and determined at that moment that Chanyeol’s lips actually twisted into the faint resemblance of a smile. Her attempts to cheer him up were more than endearing, but sadly today he simply wanted to let go of his easy- and outgoing image, leave the happy virus behind and turn into a bunch of sadness that huddled under his blanket, ate ice cream, and sulked about his life and the loss he experienced.

But there was no way he could do that with the other idol around, especially not since he knew she cared about him and hated to see him without a smile. This was why he had actually intended to avoid her, but completely forgot about their regular meeting for some coffee and talking until she had been standing in front of his door.

And now she was in here, and somehow on top of that her silly antics actually worked, and when she moved towards him in the playful attempt to tickle him, he finally, finallycracked a smile.

“Fine, here you go. Are you happy now? No tickles?”

     * I understood the feeling of being too upset to even fake a smile. I knew it too well after years in the industry but I just couldn’t let it go. Seeing him without a smile was so foreign to me. I would’ve bet that he smiled in his sleep too. I attempted aegyo, stupid jokes, and even food but no-- he cracked after the mention of tickles. 

           ---- “What 185 cm guy is scared of the tickle monster?” 

I asked quite simply, having a toothy grin on my own face. A small smile-- this is a good step, right? I sighed heavily and gave up on my efforts to cheer him up. He’s probably not cracking at all of my other techniques since it’s been a while for the both of us. Did he grow dull to my charms? I sat next to him, shoving the straw of the Americano into his mouth. 

It was late at night. Perhaps around the ungodly hours? One in the morning? Almost two? Hyeri had honestly lost track of the time since she was in a deep talk with a close friend of hers, Seolhyun. And for two female idols, it wasn’t anything suspicious if they went out together, to the park, to have a talk since it didn’t deem anything scandalous. Especially since it was just two girls being together. Even so, they had their hoodies on, along with sunglasses resting on the bridge of their noses. Though they were good friends, they didn’t really have this kind of talk before.

                                         “I still get jealous…” Seolhyun said quietly.

Hyeri opened her mouth slightly as she leaned back against the wooden bench. “I…” The right words weren’t coming out of her mouth. She didn’t know what to say. It was odd for her, because she knew both parties. “Is it him again?” Her hand went over to stroke the younger’s head in a soothing manner. “I know… I know you do. It’s pretty hard seeing him around a lot, right? Especially if there are other girls around him. I’d feel jealous, too. If I were in your shoes.”

     * ‘Why was I here again?’ It was a question I kept repeating to myself. Not that I disliked being around Hyeri or outside, I actually loved both to death but... why at this time? My breathing quicken, becoming short, sharp breathes as my mind just wandering on the thought of him. We kissed at a park like this once. And carelessly, i muttered just four words. Shit-- am I think about him with her too? 

I could almost hear the judgement from my unnies if I ever muttered those words in front of them. My fingers found their way under the pair of shades to wipe the tear welling up. I didn’t want Hyeri to talk at this moment-- knowing just the sound of her comforting tone would make me sob uncontrollably. But before I could lift a finger to signal her to just let me have my moment, she offered an affectionate stoke. And it wasn’t words that had helped either. 

‘Girls’, she said. Not just one but it was plural. Right... because out of a million girls on this earth, each and every one of them would have fallen for him the way I did. I forced a smile that caused my cheeks to lift up the shades, the tear trails being more visible under the moonlight. “Do you think he’ll meet the girls of his dreams? And wonder why he ever wasted his time with me?” Instead of choking on my tears, I ended up releasing a chuckle to mask my current mood. “What am I saying... who said he’d even remember me, right?” This time the chuckle became a bitter laugh as I threw my head back with my hoodie’s sleeves covering even my fingertips. I lifted both of my legs and had my feet rest at the edge of the bench. 

&&. for my dear, changkyeun;

     * The door creaked open as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Without a second thought, I stood up in an instant and entered a bow for whoever had opened the door. And what did you know-- it was Monsta X’s... uh... yeah, him. I kept a small grin just in case anyone else was behind him but he just simply closed the door behind him. The corners of my mouth straighten out and my eyes pierced forward as soon as the coast was clear. I was never one to hate another being, but no-- he’s special. Hoseok told me about him, and I had to take his side after hearing what kind of free ride he got out of the blue. 

Despite the summer weather, we stood in a cold atmosphere that I created. Without another glance, I sat back down and gazed into the mirror again. “How long will you be here for?” I asked with a mono-toned voice as I checked my eye make-up. “I sure hope it’s not long or else I’ll have to go somewhere else.” I blurted out. I simply didn’t care for his thoughts or reactions as I spat my words out with a malicious heart. 

          ----     “I’d   hate  having  to   breathe                      the same air as a free-loader.” 

Jaerim unconsciously entered the bathroom as he hide from ghost of his past. He however didn’t notice that it’s a female’s bathroom albeit fortunate that there’s no one in there. The police officer rested his spine on the door, and placed a palm on his chest as he catch his breath, slowly and careful not to get a heart attack. He wiped the mess of sweat on his forehead, slowly calming down when a woman from one of the stall caught his presence and called him out. Surprised, rather unknown to respond, he covered his mouth. It’ll be a disaster if the latter figured out he’s a male in a bathroom for women (which he just realized by now), he looked around to find some roll of tissue but he couldn’t find any. “Ah” He uttered in a fake female voice. “There’s no tissue in here. Sorry”

     “Oh, no! Were you caught looking at adult videos again, Seolhyun-ah?”Innocence is portrayed heavily in the way she lets her lashes bat daintily while speaking, but the mischievous smile her lips are pulled into contradicts. Fingers pinch the straw into place as her head ducks down a little to sip at the cup of bubble tea clutched in her free hand, which is melting rapidly in the late summer heat. A small break between schedules is what the two girls are on, and though Taeyeon is teasing the younger, she is shocked to hear that the company has taken her phone away. One of the many cons of being a new idol is having absolutely no control whatsoever. Entertainment companies are known to often treat their artists like helpless little infants, and control is something that is earned over the years. But even Taeyeon and her group, after all of these years, are seldom granted the freedom they deserve.

    “That explains why you didn’t answer my SMS last night. When will staff return your phone? ”

    * “Yah... unnie.” I manage to squeeze out between my gritted teeth. Even if she was my sunbae, we grew close enough to where the age difference was the only thing that far in our relationship-- aside from that we were like sisters! “I don’t do that kind of stuff! You’re the lonely one.” I said with brows arching downwards that defined my glare. How can she act like the innocent one when she’s the trouble-maker between the two of us. “It got taken away because they think I got a boyfriend or something... they thought you were my boyfriend since I was texting all night! They’re acting worse than my parents.” I said, throwing my head back and stomping on the cement floor. “Anyways!” I started pursing my lips outwards, sort of a kissy face in a way. “Let me try your drink!”