#*compute

??OMG

sometimes i feel like i’m missing things. my brain just won’t run fully, only ever running enough to do the bare minimum. i look at a person i’m talking to and listen to their words, comprehending the language and thinking enough to talk. i don’t take in details, ask me the minute they’re out of eye sight what colour their eyes were, what they’d been wearing, or if there was music playing and i literally could not be able to tell you. if i watch a show, i’m not focused on thinking about implications of what the characters say, all i’m absorbing is what’s going on and not what’s going to happen. if i have to do something complicated i need it to be repeated to me at least three or four times i feel comfortable that i’m going to do that, and even then i’m going to need precise written instructions that i can follow because my brain literally cannot process so many things at once, not remember that much. i need to repeat and plan simple things like outtings with others, or home visits, to such a ridiculous degree. and i’ll have to repeat that planning multiple times to get my brain to get used to the idea enough that it vaguely remembers the planning. so when i’m in that situation i have something so i’m not floundering.