#*belief

So ever since I started playing Aredhel, I noticed there being a level of jealousy over certain aspects of her relationships. And it wasn’t just that, but when it came to quirks etc and hobbies I am often stumped on what to give her that is uniquely her own. It was hard to identify, because whenever I’d try to label her as jealous it just didn’t seem right. She wants everyone to be happy, even if that means she is pushed aside in favor of someone else–

which is when I figured it out. She’s not jealous of her loved ones loving others, but she fears being replaced. Here’s how I came to this conclusion:  

So first there’s canon, Aredhel is part of a bunch of special people for a family. of her siblings Fingon is special in his musical inclination, Turgon is wise, Arakano is tall af. Cousins wise Maedhros is Maedhros nuff said, Maglor is the best singer ever, Artanis is gorgeous and perceptive as fuck—etc etc. Basically finwe’s house is special af (Except the rest of the arafinweians but later date meta) and then there’s Aredhel. Comparatively she’s pretty normal. She’s not renown for beauty and perception like artanis, she’s not a musician, she doesn’t have an exceptional fury like Caranthir etc etc. She’s just The white Lady and a huntress…though even the white lady thing you also have artanis being renown for wearing white.

So with that being said, it makes sense why she’s rebellious, and ultimately why she might have married Eol. A person who stands in a lot of shadows tends to either shrink further, or try to make themselves stand out. Rebellion is one I’ve noticed from personal experience– now this is not to say she doesn’t think she’s loved, she knows she is, but that’s not the same. Now I know she also was a huntress, which is something she shared with Celegorm, and it was unique to her, but that actually goes along with what I was thinking because she’s going against the main grain of the fact that it’s mostly guys that are hunters.

(Now it was actually a thing in the RP that made me think of this, mainly her romantic attachments and the fact that she’s actually a little unstable in them. I.e., she loves Maglor, but Maglor is in love with Maedhros. I kept noticing she’d get moody and down whenever she thought of that, or the fact that I couldn’t come up with little things she could do. Cause who can really compete with maedhros? lets get real, I think everyone is in love with him no matter their orientation. He’s just so amazing, who blames Mags xD Anyway, so that was the thing that tipped me off)

Anyway, fast forward to Eol and lets outline some stuff. So, with the above  in mind let’s look at him. Eol is an isolationist, who hates the noldor with a burning passion, and keeps very much to himself. Enter Aredhel, a strong willed, firey noldor who gets lost– and becomes his exception. Now I find this big, because yes it was dysfunctional, yes he was obsessed, yes I believe that they were a horrible match for each other, but from Aredhel’s point of view for once she was special to someone. Now this theory finally answers my questions about that  ‘not wholly unwilling’ thing, because a woman who feels wanted is always a woman who you can snatch up and call yours. It’s a typical thing. So although she was always a ‘i know my own value’ kind of person, this was one of those things I think was what made her care about him at least in the beginning. Granted, it went downhill from dysfunction, but the beginning part.

Now Maeglin was Aredhels most loved person ever, probably, which makes a lot of sense. As a mother she would feel that she wasn’t replaceable with him, that she could freely love and be loved back because she’s his mom. There’s a special bond between mother and child if it’s a healthy situation… which may also explain why she adopts kids who are orphans—but I digress or I’ll be here all night.

So I guess in summary, we could put it like this: Aredhel feels replaceable, both in relationships and in her own family (thank god she wasn’t there for the Luthien debacle or she might have believed so with Celegorm too, who I will add may be why she found him as her favorite because he brought her into his thing and helped her stick out by making it hers. Just a sidenote) which is possibly why she married Eol in the first place, because to him she was not replaceable. Even think about the fact that he pursued her when she left, like goddamn, if this wasn’t so dysfunctional I’d ship it to the stars and beyond.

Anyway, so I think that explains a little of why she gets moody– because it’s inherently in her due to the fact that she grew up in a surrounding where she felt replaceable, which carries over to her adult life and relationships. And it makes me sad because what happens is that in this feeling of being replaceable she automatically assumes it’s the case, and when someone comes in that she thinks will replace her she’s more likely to kinda slink to the background, content to watch from afar and root for their happiness. Because honestly, she just wants everyone happy… with or without her.