someone wrote an alistair/anora fic
and then i tag commented and they sent me an ask and then i wound up replying with like.... this......... tear my life into peaches this is my last fruit tart
SERIOUSLY THOUGH
i love the idea of them developing first this mutual grudging respect but with like. you are now an extension of me politically and socially speaking and i'm savvy enough to understand that and know that i have to cover your ass sometimes and protect you at least for the sake of our kingdom and people and for myself if nothing else. and then growing through that and through proximity into that becoming understanding and then trust and then somewhere along the line that trust becomes other kinds of trust
my interpretation on cailan is that like. anora and cailan knew each other growing up and he wasn't a terrible person but he was incompetent in a lot of ways and kind of just like. don't put a frat boy on the throne and expect it to be all sunshine and rainbows/???? and that's basically all he was. and he's canonically like... he wasn't faithful and she knew it but she was discrete and just asked him to be and she loved him in ways at least at some point and whether or not she loved him and it was his betrayal and eventual loss and what happened with loghain (esp in timelines where loghain is executed) and she feels just really alone in the world and like why should she trust or love anyone again when they all betray her or disappear?
but alistair is so committed to doing what the warden has set him out to do and he trusts their judgement even if at first it scares him and he hates it and he doesn't want to be king it's too much responsibility and he can't do it and he just wants to be with his friends and not have to grow up but
he has to
and anora i think had to grow up at some point all at once too and eventually i think they'll melt into this understanding and realizing that not only do they care for each other but like... they have an unprecedented amount in common. they care about the same things and they're both scared of being hurt and being alone and not being enough in different ways but also the same??
in different places they are both vulnerable and incredibly strong and it takes a while for them both to see and recognize and value and understand those parts of each other but i can't believe that it wouldn't happen and that once you gain that understanding that it wouldn't turn into a deeper trust and a deeper bond and a deeper connection and in the end they're really the only people in the position that they're in together who can fully confide in each other and fully understand the burden of command so to speak
it isn't ever easy to be a ruler but it's even harder to be a rebuilder and to face all the different slanders and rumours about each of them on top of that and i think they'd gain a lot of just. they start protecting each other and at first it's this self preservation - by protecting each other they protect themselves because in terms of reputation what is left unguarded with one is a weakness for the other as well
slander against anora reflects on alistair, and vice versa, and that's something they can't afford, especially early on in their rulership
but without realizing it really that protection becomes less selfish - alistair doesn't leap to defend anora's honour because she's the queen to his king and because no one should do that to a woman, any woman, but especially one who is deserving of their respect and even fealty, but also because she is... truly his queen. because he not only believes it is right for their subjects to follow her but because he does. and he wants to. he doesn't just ask her advice because he knows she is surpassing him in knowledge and skill in ruling, because she's better at this and she's done it before, but because he values her and he loves to hear her speak and teach him even if she is somewhat exasperated and he can tell she wishes he just understood even as she is endlessly grateful in her own way to see that he never stops asking her opinon
and as for her she finds that while she keeps trying to convince herself and remind herself that he's just a fool and she deserves this and what did he ever do but be born some royal bastard who never had the skill or knowledge to get what she fought for and had it handed to him when he didn't even want it but she'd do anything to have gotten here and she owes her life to the mercy of a stranger more or less and she's glad of it but there's lingering bitterness, and more from both cailan's loss and his more... unfortunate treatments of her
(i like and understand several interpretations of how he might have treated her and can never decide which one i prefer? there's cailan who was a careless philanderer, distant from her but she cared for him in spite of herself and just asked of him to keep it discrete as possible. there's cailan who was mostly kind to her, or entirely, but was a fool. there's cailan who she disdained for his foolishness and may have loved once but had stopped long ago, only realizing a rekindling of that in some way once his foolishness got him killed. and then there's cailan who spent his nights too late and who she dreaded returning to their bed on those nights when he had not indulged enough without her, the cailan who made her cringe when alistair touched her, the one who made her grab away her hand at her second wedding not only because she feared coming to a day when she would want to have taken it, but also because she cringed at the mere thought of hands that resembled the hands that had hurt her, even if she told herself he didn't mean it and he was a different person when he'd been drinking or had become one through some other way... i think they're all interesting to explore and to explore how anora relates to intimacy and to alistair on each one....)
and then i love the idea of along the way they help each other both heal (especially because my main canon is with a martyred warden who, while they were never in a romance with alistair, they were very close. estel was alistair's best friend, and he won't ever forget them and it hurts to know that they died when he might have to spare them and he knows it would've hurt them to be the survivor but they might have felt a little less alone than he does at least at first?)
and i love the idea that along the way their healing and that trust and understanding, and that the discovery that they balance each other both emotionally and politically, they stand on enough common ground through both pain and through passion, that they want the same things for their country and care about their people both so deeply, that alistair is trying his hardest to be right for her and right for ferelden
that one day they realize they love each other
and they aren't sure when or how it happened but it's a strange and beautiful sort of thing to have fallen in love after you've been married for all that time already (whether it's months or years or many years it takes - i like to think it's about three or four years from start to finish of them coming into their love for each other, i can't really believe they'd be able to spend so much time so close to each other an their lives so wrapped up together as to keep them from developing that caring for a decade or close to that even if they are both incredibly stubborn and bat at feelings)
and it's just. incredibly comforting to know they can feel close to someone, trust them and enjoy their presence, have someone to hold at night and wake up to in the morning and trust with their lives and their livelihoods and kingdom and not care if they're different and so much is asked of them and they've both suffered so much because they have a strong ally in each other and it's an ally they truly love and have learned to understand so well but are happy to spend the rest of whatever time they have together learning to understand even more
they can accomplish great things together, for ferelden, and for each other
they give each other strength and a kind of peace and its a wonderful thing to have a sanctuary in another person and in the rooms and the lives they share, especially after they both thought they'd go the rest of their lives without one
....this got long and. intense. omg i'm. i have so many alistair/anora feelings and so little time or place to release them bc it's like
hi ship that is canon in so many games but so many people are wrong about and it's a true tragedy pour one out for all the people who think alistair and anora wouldn't get along and trust each other and love each other bye










