I'm so tired of seeing people blame Sam for not looking for Dean when he was in purgatory but then turning around and saying Sam is stupid for having hope that Mary is alive. WELL WHICH IS IT?
Iāve gotten so many questions about this, Iām going to consolidate my answer here because Iām tired of rehashing the same arguments against s8!Sam every damn season. Not even because it was 5 seasons ago and objectively worse grievances have been perpetrated against Sam since without even an ounce of the same outcry as s8 warrants from fandom, but because itās so obvious in canon that Sam is not at fault for thinking Dean was dead at the end of season 7. So one last time with feeling, here we go.
Even if you take out the factor of where Sam was mentally at the end of s7, it is absurd to think Samās a horrible brother for not thinking to look for Dean in Purgatory. Or hell, for not thinking to look for Dean at all because Sam had no reason to think Dean was alive. Sam plainly stated in 8.01 that he thought Dean was dead, which should have ended the blame game then and there, but instead itās brought up seasons later as something Sam still needs to ~atone~ to Dean for.
Think about it logically for a minute. Chuck created Purgatory to contain the leviathan, and it later became the final resting place for monsters when they die. In 7.23, Dean stabbed Dick Roman in the neck with that bone thing, effectively killing him when he exploded into black goo. It makes sense that Dick went back to Purgatory. If the explosion killed Castiel, logistically we know now that heād end up in the Empty, the final resting place for angels and demons (a concept which did not exist until s11). If the explosion killed Dean, it would make sense to think he was in Heaven. Unless Dean was a monster, why would Sam think he was there? Same goes for Castiel.
There is no precedence for Sam to think āDick died in an explosion of black goo, clearly that means he took my brother and my friend with him back to Purgatory.ā Killing ghosts, or werewolves, or poltergeists, or Azazel, or vampires, or hellhounds, or gods, or Lilith, or angels, or Abaddon never resulted in also sucking any persons in the vicinity at the time to whatever realm the creature got sent back to. Saying Sam should have known that Dean was alive in a different realm is like saying Sam & Dean should have known Bobby was trapped in Hell ever since he walked into the light, or that Cas was really living as a married amnesiac healer after Leviastiel in Jimmy Novakās rapidly deteriorating vessel walked into a lake, or that Purgatory is a backdoor to Hell. These plot points arenāt known to the boys or the audience until the narrative chooses to make them clear bc lazy writing.
Even if by some chance Sam had a logical reason to think Dean was in Purgatory, he would still have had numerous ethical reasons for not pursuing that lead:
1. Sam just saw the after-effects of his friend opening up the portal to Purgatory. Aside from the whole power-hungry-wrathful-godstiel-that-broke-Samās-brain-as-a-diversion thing, it unleashed creatures onto the earth that Death said in 7.01 that Chuck was afraid would āchomp the entire Petri dish,ā the entire reason he locked them up in the first place. These are the same monsters that already killed two of the only people in the world Sam had after his brother: Bobby and (albeit temporarily) Cas.
2. After what Sam has been put through both in-show and in-fandom for breaking the last seal of the Apocalypse by killing Lilith, something Dean & Bobby both also wanted to do and didnāt know the true effects of until Cas came clean to them at the last minute, it is frankly fucking hypocritical to claim that Sam should have thrown reason & morality to the wind and risked the fate of the world to get Dean back. Historically, things donāt go well when the brothers go to any lengths to bring each other back. Especially considering the deal Sam and Dean made to prevent them from repeating history. A deal itās unfair to expect Sam to go back on, especially since Sam does not want Dean to go back on his word when Sam dies. [Itās not OOC for Sam not to renege on the deal either because while Sam will put himself on the line, he never intentionally puts Deanās autonomy on the line against Deanās wishes. Sam backed off with his zombie solution in 3.15 and he said he wouldnāt let Dean be possessed against his will in 9.13. Unselfishly respecting his brotherās wishes doesnāt mean Sam doesnāt love Dean or is a bad brother. Just the opposite, in fact.]
3. I hate thinking of it this way as much as the next person, but if Sam even had reason to think Dean was in Purgatory with all the monsters that ever died, it makes sense that eventually Dean would die there and go on to Heaven, the final resting place Joshua promised Sam and Dean in 5.16 they would end up in once they died. So it would be painful for Sam to know Dean was there, but the best solution would have been to let him be. Similar to when Sam jumped in the Cage to stop Lucifer and Michael. It was painful for Dean, but the best solution for the good of everyone was to let Sam be.
Iām going to skip right over the fact that Dean knew/repressed the fact that Cas was still alive in Purgatory when he told Sam that there was no chance he wasnāt dead (are you seeing a parallel here? because you should be) and move right on to the Mary situation. Hereās what Sam, Dean, and the audience know at the start of season 13:
1. Mary pushed Lucifer back into the rift to the alternate universe, but he dragged her with him in 12.23.
2. The brothers saw neither their mother nor Lucifer die or explode into black goo or get stabbed in the neck with a bone. They saw 2 resourceful people get sucked into an alternate universe.
3. Lucifer has had multiple opportunities to kill Dean, Sam, and Castiel since mid-season 11. But he didnāt, even when he has threatened to do so. Hell, Lucifer was even allied with Team Chuck and lived in the bunker with the brothers for a period and Sam was actively terrified of himĀ with good reason, but Lucifer still didnāt physically try to kill any of them when he needed or wanted something from them.
4. Lucifer wants Jack and knows the brothers have him. The boys want Mary and know she was with Lucifer the last time they saw her.
To conclude, Sam and Dean have more reason to believe that Mary is alive somewhere in the alternate universe than Sam ever did to believe that Dean was alive in Purgatory. And if Deanās mental state is an excuse for him thinking Mary was dead, please consider Samās as well at the end of both seasons 7 and 12. Samās grief and trauma is, outside of rare occasions,Ā never as explicitly shone as Deanās is, but that doesnāt mean it canonically doesnāt exist. Dean has always been the emotional lens of the show, but that does not make him a reliable narrator. His feelings of betrayal or hurt arenāt the word of God, and they donāt mean you canāt discern Samās from what we are shown in canon. I say this as someone who would give a kidney to see more of Samās emotional POV,Ā you can discern where Sam is coming from in season 8, you just have to pay attention.Ā
Thatās not to say Dean deserves blame for thinking Mary is dead because 1) Iām not trying to assign blame, just defend Sam and 2) there is certainly a chance that she could have been! But I assure you that when the brothers are reunited with her, Mary (and the fandom) will not blame Dean for believing she was dead and trying to move on rather than look for her. All Iām asking is that the same courtesy be afforded to Sam post-season 7.
