#**meta

okay, i actually genuinely don’t wanna shut up about the significance of miracle because it’s possibly one of the most redeemable qualities of the spn finale. it’s actually really important, even if you don’t like the circumstances surrounding it.

at first i just sort of went off about it in some tags:

#this is the only good thing about that entire finale #it is the one thing i actually loved from a meta perspective in terms of dean's archetype #so i gotta have the puppy snuggles on the blog i'm so sorry #other than that this is largely a finale free blog lmao #i actually have a Lot of feelings about dean being given a dog #and naming the dog miracle #am i gonna end up writing meta about a dog? possibly #in broad strokes: dean has always been the archetype of a soldier #but never once has he been allowed to be a veteran #the dog very much is representative of that #it's very commonplace for veterans to have emotional support animals #dogs in particular #the way miracle launches into dean's arms after dean's just woken up is indicative to me that it's commonplace #likely after nightmares #which means that (for me) dean's PTSD is being subtly addressed #which means when i retcon the disaster of a finale for my portrayal miracle is absolutely staying #spn 15.20

but there’s so much more to it than that. 

the thing about the dog, if we’re staying within the context of the canon, is that this is a dean who has lost everything (keep that wording in mind, because we’ll be coming back to it). the war is won, and he's come home, but the cost was high. we also know that dean has canonically suffered from PTSD since the end of s3, though it’s not always been explicitly addressed in the following seasons. regardless, it's an aspect of his character that is widely established and recognized.

much like in s4, and after the purgatory storyline in s8, dean’s PTSD is shown to manifest itself largely through substance abuse, anger management struggles resulting in bouts of extreme violence, and nightmares. it’s a thread throughout the narrative whether it’s consistently addressed or not. more importantly in terms of the dog: dean is never allowed to heal, because the war wages on.

by the series finale, the war is won, but the cost is castiel’s life. what does the dog have to do with castiel, you ask? more than you might first think. i don’t want to get too deep in the paint, so i’m going to focus primarily on 13.01, dean’s grief arc in early s13 in general, and some key aspects of s15.

returning to the concept of being left with a dean who has lost everything, i want to point out a choice of dialogue in 13.01. the following is said during a scene of mourning, after they’ve lost castiel, and dean is left to wrap his body for burial.

dean [voice breaking]: we’ve lost everything. and now you’re gonna bring him back. okay? you’re gonna bring back cas.

this scene is the beginning of a several episode long grief arc where dean is depicted classically as a mourning widower in terms of cinematography (viewed on bended knee from above, distant and distraught after the death scene itself at the end of s12), and is then shown to slip into apathetic suicidal tendencies. his substance abuse reaches such a low that he quite literally drinks himself to death, but death will not take him, despite his wishes. he rages at sam for being able to move on so easily, in 13.03, patience:

dean: and what about cas? sam: what about cas? dean: he manipulated him, he made him promises, said, “paradise on earth” and cas bought it. and you know what that got him? it got him dead! now you might be able to forget about that, but i can’t!

the grief arc firmly establishes castiel as being representative of dean winchester’s hope, and the will to live. this is reinforced throughout s13 – s15, as it is further mirrored in later episodes, such as in act 3 of 15.09, the trap, in which sam is shown alternate futures. in every future where dean has lost castiel, he is shown to have lost his hope, and his will to continue on.

dean: no, sam. it doesn't matter. sam: what are you saying? dean: what i've been trying to say for months. it's time... time to stand down. sam: you want to quit? what's happened to you, dean? ever since— dean: ever since what? we lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? ever since the mark made cas go crazy? ever since i had to bury him in a ma’lak box? ever since then?

these follow an old tradition within the writing of spn that can be pointed at as early as 5.04, the end (“cas, too?”): castiel is always singled out apart from the rest. castiel, an angel, who saw worth in dean when dean couldn’t see it in himself. an angel who became his best friend, and loved him when dean couldn’t love himself. castiel, who saved him the moment they met, and saved him in death, as seen in 15.18, despair. given everything preceding this, it’s evident that this is not a small loss for dean. when they lose cas, dean loses the will to go on.

in losing cas that final time, cas’ confession — his assertion that dean is full of love, not anger — finally seems to break through. when fighting the main antagonist of s15, he is called “the ultimate killer.” at one time, dean would’ve agreed with this. but after cas’ confession, he denies it, and firmly says, “that's not who i am.” because that’s not who cas fell in love with. point being: castiel’s sacrifice affects dean enormously.

at the end of all things, when dean crosses the threshold from soldier to veteran because the war is won, he has a dog and he names him miracle; which harkens back to a scene when dean indirectly referred to cas as ‘his miracle,’ because truly: who’s been performing miracles in dean’s life over the past 11 seasons? the name holds a heavy weight and bears a large significance in the face of his loss.

by the end of s15, we now have a dean that is allowed to rest, and in resting, he is allowed to begin to heal. and the thing that is representative of this crossing of the threshold from soldier to veteran is giving the veteran an emotional support dog. that dean names miracle. something that is saving him, day by day, even in small ways. it’s just not only important for dean's development and healing after finally making that transition, it’s also the lasting influence castiel still has, even in death. it’s absolutely heartbreaking, especially when one considers how many of dean’s nightmares, stemming from his PTSD, canonically revolve around losing castiel — as is shown in early s8 through the purgatory storyline; therefore it is not incongruous to assume similar nightmares would crop up after the events of 15.18. and we’re shown this.

the dog jumping into bed for cuddles after dean wakes up is just so telling. but the way dean wraps around the dog, clinging? it’s the most telling.

the thing is, armand may be a catastrophically terrible actor (cough rashid cough), but there’s no denying he’s an excellent performer. each time he performs a role he’s been given—marius’ belonging, coven leader, louis’ husband—he must do it perfectly. he can’t break out of it; he’s trapped. and after years, decades, centuries of stepping onto the makeshift stage of his life, he wants an out—let’s draw a parallel with claudia’s “my baby loves windows” here—however, unlike claudia, armand can’t rebel or simply say “enough” and step out. what light would that paint him in?

another thing is, armand’s always been sidelined to being a performer while he desperately wants to be a director (“i am the director, directing”) to regain at least some control over his life and decisions—and that’s where things start to get interesting. armand can’t change the status quo himself, but he can invite some chaos in to do it for him—these are basically his words regarding lestat, said to daniel in 2.03.

oof. let’s talk about those two because, funnily enough, they seem to perform similar roles within armand’s narrative. lestat -> ruins armand’s coven -> invited to the trial (and i’m sure armand greenlit the decision or at least was aware of it) -> ruins everything (coven included) by saving louis. armand “there was no scripting lestat” de oblivious totally didn’t see that coming. Sure. i guess he never knew that lestat “spent a century six feet under after the death of my beloved” de lioncourt feels and loves so (too?) deeply that he wouldn't try to save his loved one.

(re: louis—i don’t think armand put any bets on him before the trial; seems unlikely that he considered him a real player in the game? things have definitely changed after; armand, uh, awfully put, saw the potential and saved louis to get rid of the coven for good. this bit is up for discussion, i’m still thinking it over.)

daniel’s turn! -> almost ruins the loumand failmarriage > invited to do the second interview -> ruins said failmarriage. louis can believe that armand didn’t want him to do the interview all he wants, but armand (can i say intimately?) knew what daniel was capable of. could he ever predict that the talamasca would pull his script out of their asses? don't think so. daniel “the truth hound” molloy though? would definitely get to the bottom of this. (also funny how armand tried to control the interview’s narrative and failed miserably. atleastyoutried.jpg).

the question is, does armand realise his whole life is about to crumble when he plays with fire? i think he does. but does he want it? yes (bored) and no (scared). okay, why does he do it then if he’s so scared? he knows he’s a survivor, and he will squeeze through no matter what. so, is armand an evil mastermind who controls everything and oversees every possible outcome? lol no. i'm afraid the world is too complex even for a 514 year old vampire.