something about me is that i use the phrase "i can't english" a lot
sometimes talking verbally for me is EXTREMELY difficult. because i understand the concept i want to get across, but i forget how sentence structure works. i forget very basic words. and i try several times and can't get it out - it's word salad. sometimes i will say "um" like 50 times in a row to stall. sometimes i'll snap my fingers as i try to get my brain back online. and it's an involuntary shorthand that spits out of my mouth like an error message
"i can't english, sorry."
it's less a joke or a Quirky Phrase and more of like. a plea
"please be patient with me, i am trying my hardest. but i am actively fighting my own brain to get these words out."
other times, i can talk with no issue and be very articulate and thorough. but especially when i'm nervous or i'm saying something i've never said before, i crash.
the worst bit is sometimes i want to tell a joke. and i go to tell one. and i completely cock it up because the word order is wrong. or because i forget a word directly in the middle of the sentence and have to abort
so i have another shorthand. "i can't think of a joke but. something about [topic] and [punchline]"
like in my head i have this Very Funny concept but i forgot how to build the words to make it. it isn't always that i have No Joke, but that i'm worried that i'll build it incorrectly
anyway. shoutout to bitches that "can't english" - whether it's failing at speaking their mother tongue, or a second language
