#***rod

i. the mirror

ride or die is a coming of age story. it’s all about a girl figuring out who she is and her first experiences in romance and everything in between, we all know that. and when you have a story that focuses so much on figuring yourself out and finding your place in the world, the first question you ask is “who am i?” — an introspective question that can be akin to looking into the mirror.

which, coincidentally, is how the book opens. MC is shown to look at herself in the mirror both literally and metaphorically. first in the car chase with logan:

and when she wakes up that same day:

but just as the book starts with the mirror, it ends with it as well:

after MC looks at herself in the mirror, the player is given the choice to define MC. what is MC feeling? is that really her? how does she look like? ala mulan reflection who is that girl i see. and it all fits well as ride or die, at its core, is a coming of age story.

ii. logan

logan is the first LI introduced in the story. aside from being MC’s potential LI, he is also narratively used to show MC everything she isn’t. while all the LIs are different from MC by virtue of them all being criminals and having a more jaded view of the world, it’s most reflected in logan. the line i see this most come out is in his chapter 3 diamond scene:

logan also goes on to mention how he doesn’t know where his mother is. you could say he “lost” his mother, similar to how MC lost her mother years ago. the difference is that logan’s mother was in the world of crime, as she was in prison and gave birth to him prison; MC’s mother married a detective. 

he then tells the story of how he totalled his first car because he was reckless. contrast to chapter 15, MC also gets her car fucking rolling in the parking lot, but by the next chapter we see it repaired. the difference between them was that MC was the one in control of the situation i.e. setting a trap for the brotherhood. and in turn, she gets to keep her first car, unlike logan. 

iii. colt

colt is the second LI introduced in the story. colt mirroring MC is the most obvious out of the characters, IMO. his father is the head a crime group, MC’s is the head of capturing said group. they both have fathers who want to control where they go in life, and they both want to prove themselves to said fathers. 

if you pick colt in chapter 11, manipulative ass bastard (who we love anyway) he may be, it’s demonstrated how colt and MC have a understanding of each other due to their similar experiences. 

in chapter 14, if you chose colt to take you to the prom and pick the option to dance with him (instead of kissing him), the narration uses the term twin stars circling each other, further showing how MC and colt are similar. contrast that to logan’s line in the final chapter where he says he was “just a rock in space lucky enough to burn in your atmosphere.”

iv. mona

mona is the third LI introduced and like many fem LIs, is locked behind the paywall. in chapter 9, we learn more about mona. how she wasn’t born to be as cynical as she was, how she was just like MC, until she met a girl and thought it was love. 

you could say that mona has more in common with MC than colt does, and yeah kinda lol. but at this point, colt is meant to mirror MC as she is the present, while mona is meant to show us how MC could turn out to be in the future if she chose to lead the life of crime. it’s especially more prevalent if MC’s primary love interest is mona. 

however, unlike mona, MC doesn’t get sent to jail and survives the encounter with the brotherhood because the people she meets truly care for her, if not love her. mona, even if arguably a bit OOC, takes a bullet for her, saving her the way mona’s former girlfriend didn’t for her.

v. ingrid and jason

both jason and ingrid work as narrative devices to show us that MC cannot have it all. 

the first chapter foreshadows that MC will inevitably have to make the choice between her two lives. she can’t have it all. and even despite riya’s encouragement, mc is not ingrid.

however there is one more character who just as similar to MC as colt is to her, and you could also argue even more, and yes that is everyone’s least favourite cunt, jason shaw. 

the book makes it explicitly known that shaw and MC are foils. it’s a lot more “in your face” and conveniently not paywalled (compared to the LIs), as it should be, because it adds a great layer to the story. and of course, not to mention, it’s technically the primary source of conflict in the story. 

MC and shaw are both living two lives they can’t reconcile, and they both know they can’t have both. 

but the difference between MC and shaw is that shaw still tries to have both, and that’s what makes him fall. MC, in contrast, i like to interpret as her leaving both behind but creating a new life for herself from those experiences. 

which is why i find the ending of rod so great, especially for MC. she’s heading to the east coast, to her dream school, the one she lived the “honor roll, goody two-shoes” life to achieve. but she’s heading there in a car given to her by people in her second, adrenaline-filled life, the same people who gave her the chance to be who she really wanted to be. the ending wasn’t her choosing the quiet life she had before mercy park, it’s her putting the two together and moulding one that isn’t entirely dictated by others.

ride or die is a seriously incredibly choices book and i’m so glad i looked past the whole “bad boy romance” tagline and gave it a try. granted, what i said above isn’t the only parts which make it narratively great (there’s the whole colt and teppei icarus and daedalus, and how riya and darius are used as narrative devices as well) but i hope i at least gave light to some parts which i loved about it. 

if you made it this far, you’re the mvp lol

Logan had never been particularly lucky when it came to foster parents, the previous ones had neglected him and the ones before that even worse. Though it appeared that this time, the universe had decided to give him a moment to breathe. And while they weren’t perfect, they cared, which made all the difference to a kid like him. For once in his life he didn’t feel smothered, and he didn’t feel like he was smothering them.

Felicity, a woman in her mid-thirties, placed a wet rag on Logan’s forehead, the skin burning up. “Oh, what am I to do with you?” she tutted, and gave the young boy a small smile. In her eyes, albeit tired, kindness shone true. “You’re a tough kid, Logan. Pull through and beat that flu’s ass, won’t you?”

Logan doesn’t remember what she said next, or even if he said anything in reply. On some days he thinks that maybe it didn’t even happen at all, that maybe it was all just a fever dream, or an aspiration that was much too mixed in memory. But he swears it was real, that for at least a moment he was cared for, truly cared for. And he will continue to hold hope in his heart that he will find something like that again.

Because he remembers how Felicity, how always-busy-and-tired-with-work Felicity, had looked at his sickly, twelve-year-old self and taken the time to care for him. Had taken the time to brush his too-long hair out of his face, to comb her fingers through his hair and lull him into a peaceful sleep. And for a second, even if it were for just a second, she made him feel loved.

--

Most people would assume that it was Logan who swept the local goody two-shoes Miss Valedictorian Ellie Wheeler off her feet. And in some ways, he has, quite literally, swept her off her feet. But that was only one fragment to an even larger story, a story where Ellie was the hurricane and Logan was but someone who got caught in the wind. 

Logan didn’t expect to fall for her. He knows the plan: befriend her, earn her trust, see if she knows anything about the Brotherhood, anything to survive. He knew they were using her. Exploiting a girl’s desires for a life outside of the walls of a home which smothered her all too much. And for a taste of a life with a little more spark, she took the bait, and now balanced on the thin line that separated her two lives.

And now he feels all too guilty, being with her tonight. Logan watches as Ellie takes the medicine kit in her hands, tending to the gashes on his chest. When he hisses in pain while she cleans his wounds, she places a kiss on his skin and asks if it helps. “More than you know,” he says, because it is. It’s more than she will ever know. The mere fact that she willingly offered to fix him up matters so much more to him that she will ever know, more than Logan could ever put into words. 

Logan allows himself to think for a second that maybe after eighteen years of a bitter existence, he’s finally found someone who cares for him, truly cares for him, again. But this time without legal obligation, without mountains of paperwork binding them together. Just two people who found each other and cared.

But then he remembers why she’s here, why she’s really here, and the guilt squashes it down. 

Logan winces when he feels the cut on his face burn. Ellie pulls her hand back, but he takes it in his. His voice is soft when it comes out, longing and disbelief etched in his words as he confesses what feels to him like sin, “Ellie...nobody’s ever really taken care of me like this.” 

The look Ellie gives him is a tender one, no pity to be found in it; it’s nothing but compassionate and ridiculously naive. Logan almost wants to cry. From remorse or yearning or just the feeling of being cared for, he doesn’t know. 

Logan rests his head on her lap and shuts his eyes, and for a moment he lets himself pretend that they’re just normal teenagers together, without the weight of a withheld secret on his shoulders. Without the guilt he lives in. Without the knowledge that one day, Ellie will find out the truth behind her being with the Mercy Park Crew, and Logan will be hit with the harsh prospect that perhaps her affections were conditional, too.

Ellie kisses him. Logan’s breath catches in his throat but softens almost immediately, and he lets himself be caught in her kiss. But his conscience won’t let him go, and he apologises after. He apologises that he put her in that situation earlier in the night, but he knows that he owes her much more. She tells him he wants her whole, but he says it might be too late for that. He doesn’t want to believe he’s not whole, but he doesn’t want to let himself down chasing pipe dreams either.