#* humour

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･ﾟ✧ Boromir.

Boromir would shoot you a confused smile when you asked him your question. “What? Why would you turn into a worm…?” You’d blush and explain it to him, which would make him laugh in relief. “Why worry about such nonsense?” – “What, me turning into a worm?” – “No, silly! Me not loving you!” he’d say and pull you close for a kiss ♡ (He’d probably still worry about the sudden question because he cares for you that much haha!)

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･ﾟ✧ Frodo.

When you ask Frodo your question, it catches him off-guard. He’d look up from his book and ask you to repeat, even though he was already listening carefully. But the question has him double-checking! Your adorable explanation makes him laugh. He’d take your hands and say, “The things you think about! If you ever manage to turn yourself into a worm, you must turn me as well, so that we may live happy lives in our worm-house underground.”

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･ﾟ✧ Gandalf.

Gandalf smokes his pipe when you ask him your question and smacks his lips as he contemplates the scenario. “A curious proposition…” For a moment, the furrow of his bushy eyebrows makes it look like he was about to scold you for your nonsense, but then he’d shoot you a playful smirk and assure you that yes, if you were to turn into a worm, he would still love you all the same.

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･ﾟ✧ Gimli.

You ask Gimli your question at a late-night banquet, making him pause and laugh. “I do not know if a worm would want to live in stone though! Wouldn’t you leave for grassier, muddier grounds? What would a worm want with a Dwarf?” Just like that, he has turned your question around! The ensuing nonsense conversation makes it certain: The two of you are inseparable ♡

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･ﾟ✧ Legolas.

Legolas is a very playful Elf and enjoys the games and riddles you two tend to play, so your question would not come entirely out of the blue for him. He would tilt his head and pout, pretending to consider it gravely. “A worm? A creature so foul and tiny and all too disagreeable?” – his face splits into a grin – “Why yes, of course!” Additionally, he’d incorporate “little worm” into his endless list of pet names for you.

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･ﾟ✧ Merry.

Your question to Merry would probably come up during one of your philosophical conversations. But instead of stopping Merry dead in his tracks, he’d simply answer, “Yes, next question.” To him, it genuinely is not up for debate if changing your appearance would impact his feelings for you. When you dig deeper, he’d probably say something like, “I’d have to get used to it, but that’s it” and grin at you.

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･ﾟ✧ Pippin.

Let’s be honest: The question would probably come from Pippin in the first place. Maybe he had watched a worm or a toad travelling through a meadow nearby, or even overheard other Hobbits asking their partner about the dreaded scenario. He keeps wondering if he’d still be lovable as a worm but leaves no doubt should that fate befall you: This Hobbit loves you to the moon and back!

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･ﾟ✧ Sam.

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･ﾟ✧ Boromir.

Many soldiers are used to seeing other people naked and being seen naked themselves, and Boromir is no exception. Still, he wouldn’t be entirely comfortable with you walking in on him changing. A nervous laugh would escape him, though he’d instinctively try to play his ‘prince charming’ routine. Probably even successfully! That said, he knows this could very well be a delicate matter to you – and your comfort is always Boromir’s top priority, so he’d handle the incident according to your wishes.

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･ﾟ✧ Frodo.

Frodo, as usual, is very unagitated about your accidental glance at him changing clothes. From behind the door, you hear him chuckle: “Don’t worry about it! I should’ve closed that door, it’s my fault entirely.” He would only make a few lewd jokes about the incident when drunk at the Green Dragon, but not anymore once you ask him to keep this between the two of you. It wouldn’t change your relationship in the slightest.

･ﾟ✧ Gandalf.

Walking in on Gandalf changing clothes would probably result in a blanket magically flying over your head or even your body losing control and turning around to walk the other way, like a puppet. You’d see nothing – in fact this would happen before you even knew what was going on.

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･ﾟ✧ Gimli.

Being the proud Dwarf that he is, Gimli would probably act like the incident never happened and be surprisingly nonchalant about the matter. He has nothing to hide or be insecure of, especially not with you. And after all, it was an accident! However, he’d sometimes makes jokes along the lines of “you never walk in on me anymore, dearie” after some time had passed. He takes all of this is good humour.

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･ﾟ✧ Legolas.

I feel like out of the Fellowship, Legolas would be the “flirtiest” if you walked in on him changing his clothes. He is also exceptionally good at reading your mood: Are you embarrassed? “Be at ease, dear friend. There is no harm done, and so we won’t speak of it again.” Are you curious? Eyebrows raised, he’d subtly make sure to give you the best angles. Or are you perhaps being flirty as well? “It’s a good thing you’ve come! Look here – could you help me with this girth? It’s been driving me mad…”

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･ﾟ✧ Merry.

In the heat of the moment, Merry would probably scream something at you, like “Some privacy, please!” A minute later and he already wants to disappear into the Earth, blaming himself – how could he lash out at you like that? He’d worry and quickly walk up to you to apologise. He would accept your apology too, though he would still blush and quietly ask you to knock next time. Also: He knows how the Shirefolk can behave sometimes and wants to shield you from gossip.

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･ﾟ✧ Pippin.

Pippin let out a cry when you accidentally walked in on him changing clothes, making you turn on your heels – before remembering you’ve seen him naked plenty of times. There’s no big scandal, even though he acts like there was. Going forward, as a joke, he would play with his scarf and smirk at you like the dirtiest thing happened between the two of you. You try to keep it down, but eventually, Pip would go around telling people you keep walking in on him on purpose.

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･ﾟ✧ Sam.

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･ﾟ✧ Éomer.

You probably won a bet against Éomer, that’s why he lets you throw him over your small shoulders in the first place. He expects to hate it but actually has a lot of fun being carried around like this. The two of you would often joke about how you could become his horse (or rather: pony) and use your strength to win many bets and free drinks among those who haven’t heard of your power. Additionally, Éomer would invent legendary stories to tell about you at drinking sprees. His fun would only be over when someone would ridicule your height – then it’s time for a brawl.

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･ﾟ✧ Éowyn.

When you first threw Éowyn over your shoulder, she protested like a dragon, so you let her down again quickly. But as time passes, she grows accustomed to the thought of being carried by someone she loves so deeply – just maybe not over your shoulder, but bridal style through the halls of Edoras. She would also carry you in return, needless to say, though she would often blush when asked about it. But she would always defend you against bigots! Sidenote: Éowyn loves your standing on your tip toes to kiss her ♡

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･ﾟ✧ Gimli.

You and Gimli vow to never speak of the day when you effortlessly carried him all the way back home over your shoulder. Though it fractures his Dwarven pride, Gimli is impressed with your strength. After all, he was wearing his heavy armour as well as his helmet and axe. Secretly, he would think back fondly to the instance. Still, the principle remains: “No one tosses a Dwarf over their shoulder!”

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･ﾟ✧ Haldir.

You wouldn’t have carried Haldir all the way back to Lothlórien if it hadn’t been absolutely necessary. But he was unconscious, so you had no choice. Other Elves of your party had volunteered, but you were quicker than anyone else (and also untiring). Every single one of you swore to never speak of this again, though you now do share a great insight joke to rile dear Haldir up more than you already do. Needless to say, he would never suspect you tiny little thing were the main culprit!

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･ﾟ✧ Legolas.

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･ﾟ✧ Aragorn.

As a ranger, Aragorn is well-versed with herbs and flowers that can serve as an aphrodisiac or be turned into one. He is very particular with which ones to use and not really interested in “store-bought” variants. Elven knowledge is quite helpful regarding making his own aphrodisiacs for the two of you; he prefers to only use them on special occasions. Since the topic is delicate for many Humans, Aragorn prefers to keep them a secret between you two – after all, this is about intimacy ♡

Reaction: like a power surge, short but sweet

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･ﾟ✧ Boromir.

Since there is a sort of taboo around aphrodisiacs in Gondor, Boromir is quite excited to learn more about them when you suggest them for your sex life. He is so curious and eager about them that he ends up wondering why someone wouldn’t use them to give a special spice and magic to their trysts – especially considering the immense variety of flavours and scents. That said, Boromir always has your comfort as his top priority, so he would not pressure you into anything you wouldn’t want to do. To you, he’s nothing but a gentleman!

Reaction: strong, to the point of exhaustion once the effects wear off

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･ﾟ✧ Frodo.

Hobbits value aphrodisiacs as much as smoking, drinking, dancing, and other hedonistic aspects of their culture, and Frodo is no different – though maybe a bit more distinguished than other Hobbits. He has a small collection of fancy little phials and is open to using them should you desire so anytime. All of them have pleasant scents and tastes, like strawberries or jasmine. Frodo in general is very normal about sexual experimentation and always communicates clearly so that the two of you are sure to have a good time ♡

Reaction: mild to normal

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･ﾟ✧ Gandalf.

While other Wizards might think of aphrodisiacs as a poor use of magic for mere “petty-minded fooling around” (I am looking at Saruman), I think Gandalf’s playful nature and his contact to Hobbit culture would make him want to indulge in the occasional aphrodisiac from time to time, be it in the form of herbs, potions, spells, or items. On top of that, he would use magic to create certain illusions or sensations to make you feel good. He doesn’t have limitless curiosity though, and he would not speak about this to anyone but you.

Reaction: none to mild, depending on the sort

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･ﾟ✧ Gimli.

For years, Gimli has been convinced that he has no need or want for aphrodisiacs in his love life. So perhaps, when you first suggest using them for the two of you, he would not really know what to say. However, I figure he would be open to trying them out when you ask him, too. Not only that: Dwarves have brilliant ingenuity and dexterity, so maybe Gimli would come up with a new aphrodisiac entirely catering to your personal needs and/or kinks, perhaps even in the form of a magic-induced gem.

Reaction: mostly prolonged stamina, normal

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･ﾟ✧ Legolas.

Not only do I headcanon the Elves as entirely open to sexual experimentation with toys and kinks – they even take a certain pride in it. They are at the forefront when it comes to aphrodisiacs, and Legolas is no different. He has a few staples in his collection that have become his personal trustful companions over the years, like magic-induced flowers and candles, and is eager to try out whatever you bring into your bedroom as well. He would answer any questions of yours regarding the aphrodisiacs in his “Lembas voice”: proud of the Elvish traditions but still casual.

Reaction: very strong, since he is already so passionate

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･ﾟ✧ Merry.

While Merry doesn’t keep any aphrodisiacs for himself, he has no inhibitions to trying something out when you suggest it. I like the idea that they could help him let himself fall and really enjoy sex, since Merry tends to be controlled by his head instead of his emotions, or even aspires to be more of a “thinking type”. Aphrodisiacs could provide him with the opportunity of rawness and freedom in a way he hasn’t known before – and I think he would enjoy that very much ♡

Reaction: strong and freeing

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･ﾟ✧ Pippin.

Growing up in Hobbit culture, Pippin is used to aphrodisiacs – or at least talking about them. He has at least once fallen prey to swindlers who convinced him of spending lots of money on some much-praised herb, only to find out later it doesn’t do anything (other than smelling nice). Pippin would also experiment a lot with what works for the two of you and what doesn’t, and always voice clearly if something wasn’t for him. Perhaps he would brag about his newest discovery with other Hobbits – if only to get another tip in return.

Reaction: physically little, but boosted mentally

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･ﾟ✧ Sam.

I don’t think Sam would enjoy aphrodisiacs very much – for a couple of personal reasons, ranging from “It’s just that I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t taste like stale biscuits” to “It wouldn’t feel right, y’know?”. Sam is a big romantic and proud to always provide you with the right mood by preparing candles, nice pillows, maybe a fireplace on cold nights, or even starlit trysts in a sunflower field, to name a few examples. I think he would nip at your favourite potion just to have tried it once but still be fine with you calling him old-fashioned. After all, this is about having a good time!

Reaction: none

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･ﾟ✧ Bonus: Haldir.

I’m including Haldir in this one because I have a random headcanon of him being comically scared of aphrodisiacs haha! After all, they might expose his buried feelings that he works so hard to hide, almost like a truth serum. I also imagine he would expect such a potion/flower/herb to taste nasty, smell funny, and just all around not be for him. But as written above, I imagine the Elves to be very open to sexual experimentation, so dear Haldir would be a “prude” in their eyes. You can read more about my headcanons on him on this older NSFW post.