#(yamaguchi)

[ TSUKISHIMA KEI ]

PHASE : CRUSH

✦ Catching feelings

— He's in denial. Because there's no way he likes an idiot like you! Well, at least he thinks so, but there's just no way! But every time you pass by, he can't help but feel his stomach flip. He groans to himself every time, and you happen to notice, so you ask him about it. When you look up at him, he observes that you need to lift your head up just to face him. To which he finds kind of cute, he guess. But still, it doesn't confirm that he.. likes you. Yea. Yet when he looks at your eyes, he unintentionally looks a little longer than usual. He shakes his head and replies to you with an unconvincing answer. "It's just a coincidence, or you just probably have a curse that makes people groan every time you're around." What? His words made no sense, that it even made him question himself. And you replied with a confused 'okay' followed by a quiet giggle. He subconsciously makes a smug face when he hears your hushed laughter, but he immediately turns a serious face before anyone can see him breaking out of character.

✦ Crushing

— After all the denial of the idea of his feelings for you, and talking to tadashi about what he was experiencing (which was quite VERY rare for him to do.) he comes to the conclusion that he has sees you more than a 'friend' or an 'apprentice' or whatever he saw you before as.

— Everyday, he may be unintentionally, probably accidentally, possibly unconsciously, perhaps incidentally, and he finds himself looking for excuses to talk to you. He swears and convinces himself that the person looking for excuses was not him, but a voice that brainwashes him. Look, Tsukishima Kei is not the type of person to get crushes, so all of this is quite unfamiliar to him. Even if he has watched a few romance movies before, he's still uneducated and only knows the stereotypical romance high school k-drama moments. (I kinda see him watching k-dramas as a secret hobby, lol)

— When he talks to you, his remarks are less sharp. There's less poison in them but more barks or in other words, he spats out more then the average remarks he does, which makes them come off more comedic rather than a mean comment. And because of it, he pulls a giggle or two from you. The sound of your laughter sounded so melancholic to his ears, and he yearned to hear it more. Tsukishima then continues to criticize you every time he gets the chance.

— He gets jealous easily. If he sees you with someone, tsukishima immediately sends a glare to that person. It's subtle so you wouldn't notice but the person you were alongside with would be shrinking under his stare plus with his height accompanied adds a bit more terror.

— Tries to get closer to you, a closer friendship that is. His reason for it was because there was no one else except him that could deal with your annoying ass.

— Tsukishima writes a lot of notes in his class, just in case you need some.

✦ Confessing

— Tsukishima has no idea how to confess, not because he was nervous, but because he usually was getting confessed to and not being the 'confessor'.

— He hasn't thought of confessing nor thought about when was the right time.

— On the occasion where he does confess, it isn't planned. He'd be in a situation where he couldn't handle the bubbling up feelings that dared to explode out of him. His confession is at unexpected time, at least for you it is. The situation that pressures him to confess is likely to be when he's jealous or that you couldn't catch a hint that he likes you.

— The way he would confess is going to be cried out one, aggressive in a way. It even shocks his own self. He didn't even mean to blurt it out in that manner. Tsuki repeats what he exclaimed but in a more hushed tone. He's quietly anxious, becoming the opposite of himself. His egoistic demeanor diminished as he caught a glimpse of your expression, it's hard to read your face, but you were clearly going through a rollercoaster of emotions. He instantly looks away, lowering his head and clutches his fists as he tries to gather his emotions.

— ( reciprocated ) Bewildered, bewildered is the exact word for what Kei is feeling when he hears that his feelings were also requited. His head lifts up to meet your softened gaze. Your beautiful eyes have him in a daze. He wanted to answer, except all that came out of his mouth was stuttered words. Communicating was not his forte, though his actions were already enough of an answer. So, he comes closer to you and pulls you into his arms. You can feel his heartbeat pounding out of his chest, as if he ran for miles. Both of you fell into silence, but it was surprisingly comfortable as you both take in the events.

— ( rejected ) Shit. Shit. Shit. He could already feel his heart splitting into two, whilst his stomach dropped. He's in an emotional turmoil. Should he have expected this? Is our friendship going to be okay? Is this okay? He has no idea what to do. In a sluggish way, he stands up straight. His heart felt so heavy, but his cold attitude camouflages it. "Tsk, your loss." He retorts directly, venom laced in his words unlike his old ones. Tsukishima's golden-brown eyes lost its warmth, replaced with cold ones. He turns his back at you without another word. Each step he takes means another step farther from you. He mumbles to himself, "It's their loss, not mine." He says that, yet he wholeheartedly knows it's not true.

✦ Courting

— In Tsuki's belief, action speaks louder than words. And he follows that principle without fail.

— Kei asks for your permission within everything before actually courting you. He wanted to respect your boundaries, and makes sure he doesn't accidentally step over them.

— And in every courtship, there will always be a time when he meets your parents. Every guy, before meeting the parents of the person they are courting, is extremely nervous and maybe even fearful of them. But Tsukishima Kei is a different type of guy. He's extremely serious about it, so he prepares himself with some questions that he'd think your parents would ask him. There's no racket in his nervous system, and he's wearing a very formal outfit at the time he meets them. (You picked out his outfit for him)

— He brings a small gift, nothing super special but a few pastries he picked up on the way to your home.

— Your parent's first impression of him was that he was a cold person, because of his bitch resting face and stoic presence. Which was unsurprising since it was also your first impression too. But Kei's icy persona eventually chips and melts away as conversations with your parents are prolonged. Then, after the humor-filled talk, he had a heart-to-heart with them. He asked permission in a mature way, though his inside voice was screaming for them to say yes. Your parents took a long look at him with squinting eyes, and they turned to look at you, then back to him, then you again. The head turns lasted for a minute or so, and then they had a short chat, contemplating whether if this nonchalant blonde teen was good for their kid. They asked him questions in a serious tone, and to their surprise Kei answers them flawlessly.

— A few minutes of contemplating and exchanging of opinions, they turn to Tsuki, and they nodded, giving a sign of approval. And you're so happy! A bit surprised but you already expected them to approve of him since he actually takes you seriously.

✦ Dating

— Tsukishima is definitely an acts of service type of boyfriend. Need help with your homework? He does it for you, but makes sure you understand the whole point of the homework. Your bag is too, heavy and you have a lot of stairs to climb? He'll carry it for you. Tsuki is willing to assist you with anything even if it's out of his abilities.

— This man ain't perfect, he's flawed as well. He's quite terrible with communication and replaces it with silent treatment. The first time you two had an argument, it was terribly managed. He went on for a few days ignoring you, yet he was the first one to break cause his heart couldn't swallow the guilt of his avoidance. He would send Tadashi to become his mailman and send off his long-written letter to you. The letter was pure, and you immediately ran off to go to your beloved blondie and, he couldn't help but shed a singular tear before stopping the waterworks.

— The day after, he would shower you with simple yet meaningful gifts tied to your likings and you would drown him in your ways of showing affection intensely.

— Teach him how to communicate, and he would express to you everything in an embarrassed manner. He wouldn't do it perfectly every time but, you were always proud and understood his point.

— He would gladly bring you to his volleyball practice. Every time he knows he performs well, for example, hitting a well coordinated smash, or blocking flawlessly with his predictions, he would always turn to look at you, wishing for some sort of praise.

— He would also secretly feel giddy when he's drowning in sweat, and you would caringly wipe his face with your own cloth.

✦ Break-up

— Yeesh, this man would not handle the separation well.

— If it would end in good terms, he'd have a harder time accepting it. He never realized that his world would shift in the blink of an eye. He would go for days without having a proper meal, performing worse in his volleyball practice, and staying up late and waking up with barely any sleep.

— If it ended on bad terms, he would definitely do nothing or ruin your name; there's no in between. He would rant endlessly to Tadashi about how you were at fault for the break-up, but even Yamaguchi knows you wouldn't do such actions. Tsuki is completely aware that he's doing something that is utterly unnecessary, that were even out of his boundaries, yet he can't find a way to stop because he can't get you out of his mind, despite his desires completely forget you.

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