#(luna rambles)

It's time, Gabe.

whooo boy, got so obsessed with the show and the books that i made an AO3…..insane work! hope y’all enjoy, comments & prompts keep my motivated so i’m always happy to hear from y’all! the usual disclaimers apply: check the tags, fuck AI all my em-dashes are my own, shane hollander hate is NOT tolerated in my space!

pls mind the tags on each & REMEMBER….my ask is always open for prompts or requests!

WHAT DOES HEAVEN KNOW ‘BOUT FOOLS GOLD? - CLASSIC WISDOM TEETH REMOVAL TROPE! (COMPLETE)

RATED: G || NO ARCHIVE WARNINGS APPLY || 4.8k

They’d had it planned out for at least two months. Well, Shane had, at least. His plan made the most sense: His parents were in Ottawa. They could drive, they had room in the house, and they loved Ilya.

Ilya had pushed back. He could drive. He had a big, empty house near the surgery. And he loved David and Yuna, but he could take care of himself.

They had argued back and forth for two full weeks, neither willing to admit defeat. But the dentist had been pretty fucking clear that the anaesthetic would be strong, so Ilya wouldn’t be able to drive himself anywhere, or even look after himself, for at least a day. Two days, in some cases, and he’d have pain and swelling for up to two weeks.

Or: Ilya has his wisdom teeth removed. The sedatives have some unexpected effects, and Yuna feels like a mom again.

THE PROCESS OF CLEARING OUT COBWEBS - ILYA GOES BACK TO RUSSIA! (COMPLETE)

RATED: TEEN & UP || NO ARCHIVE WARNINGS APPLY || 9.6k

Shane makes it very, very clear that he doesn’t approve. In his own stupid, adorable way.

First, Ilya receives three links to articles about arrested Russian activists. Ilya rolls his eyes, but reads them; it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. Second, he receives an email from their lawyer Mikhaila with Farrah CC’d in, officially advising him not to go. Third, Shane sidles up to him on the couch, kisses his neck, and asks why they can’t just send Mikhaila.

The third attempt almost convinces him, but Ilya kisses his husband back and steadies himself; Ilya knows that, for one last time, he has to go to Russia.

Or: Ilya gets arrested for the second time in his life.

KNOWING I’M ON THE STREET WHERE YOU LIVE - FLORIST/TATTOOIST AU! (IN PROGRESS)

RATED: MATURE || NO ARCHIVE WARNINGS APPLY || 7k

Shane trailed off, gesturing awkwardly back to the studio. The guy was still silent, and still smoking, and honestly looked like he might be about to pounce on him. Whether it was to kiss him or kill him he wasn’t sure, but Shane didn’t think he’d mind it either way.

“Okay,” The guy exhaled more smoke, but Shane was more concerned with the way his accent wrapped around the word okay. It sent an ugly kind of shockwave through him, a feeling that he’d grasped with both hands in high school and shoved so far down he was sure he’d never feel it again. He hoped he’d never feel it again. “Shane, from the tattoo parlour.”

Shane runs the only tattoo parlour in a suffocatingly small town. Ilya is looking for a fresh start selling flowers. What could go wrong?

I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW - 5+1! (COMPLETE)

RATED: TEEN & UP || NO ARCHIVE WARNINGS APPLY || 10.2k

Shane flushed. They were out, now, and that meant they could engage in some light PDA when they were in public. But they both knew that that came with substantial risks, and that it couldn’t ever be like when they were alone. And in their house, their home, they were completely alone.

Ilya and Shane have spent their entire adult lives waiting to be alone together.

Or: Five times throughout their relationship that Ilya and Shane were alone together, and one time they weren’t.

THE BOLTER - ILYA TALKS ABOUT HIS CHILDHOOD! (COMPLETE)

RATED: MATURE || NO ARCHIVE WARNINGS APPLY || 2.2k

“I fell through the ice, one time,” Ilya murmured, “Skating on a lake. Playing hockey.”

“Oh, shit. Really?”

“Mhm.” Ilya nodded. He had never spoken about this to anyone. Ever. “It was maybe a few months after my mother died. Skating outside was very normal in the winter.”

“Pond hockey,” Shane said, and Ilya could feel him smiling softly against his chest. He imagined a teeny tiny Shane in his teeny tiny hockey gear, skating out onto a big Canadian lake. No wonder he grew up to be such a hockey machine.

“Yes. Exactly. Coach thought the ice was thick enough, but…”

But it wasn’t goes unsaid. He’d never spoken about this to anyone because frankly, he was embarrassed. Not for falling in, but for still being so fucking affected by it. Of course, it was terrifying at the time. What kind of twelve year old is equipped for that?

HIDE & SEEK - SHANE DOTES ON HIS DEPRESSED HUSBAND! (COMPLETE)

RATED: TEEN & UP || NO ARCHIVE WARNINGS APPLY || 2.3K

“Nothing, lyubimyy. I am sick. Go to work.”

“Sick how? Nauseous? Is your chest hurting?” Shane chewed the inside of his cheek. “Are you–”

“Do not worry, Hollander,” Ilya interrupted, a little sharper than usual. He finally peeled the comforter down enough for Shane to see his face. “Go to practice.”

Oh, Shane thought. Oh, no.

YOU PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME & I’M HOME - HOLLANOV PARENTING ERA!

RATED: GENERAL || NO ARCHIVE WARNINGS APPLY || 1.1K

“And there’s papa,” Shane muttered, still bouncing Elena gently against his chest, “Standing in the dark and staring at us like a big Russian serial killer.”

Ilya frowned, immediately stepping into the living room, hands on his hips. “You tell her lies about me. I am not serial killer, Lenochka. Your dada is much more likely to be serial killer. As you will see, he puts labels on everything.”

”The labels are useful!” Shane protested, but he still kept his scandalised voice low enough that he wouldn’t disturb Elena. “If we didn’t have those, you’d still be doing laundry with dishwasher tablets, and—”

i.e. you could list a dragon for sale for 20,000t OR 20g (or however many gems you want the t:g ratio to be), and the buyer gets to pick if they want to pay in treasure or gems