#(but like)

SEEING HAMILTON

TOMORROW

p.s super excited for a new fic, I love everything you write ♥️

hi hello thank you 🥹 you're so sweet

and yes thank u for asking, important question

for the most part i haven't really made posts on my reactions here bc most of what i'd have to say has already been said, i've been seeing those meta posts around since calamity came out

but god the one unexpected thing about loquatius and laerryn i can't get over is just all of aabria's little reactions to quay's choices here

like. i know laerryn loves him as much as he loves her, but she's not good at showing it. she's deeply pragmatic, which means while loquatius is having huge moment after huge moment illustrating just how much he's willing to sacrifice for her, she's making sure she can do her job. because she has to. even if that means leaving him to die in the calix chamber, because she couldn't have saved him, and if she died trying then the whole world would be lost

but at the same time, she did all of this for him. it was so important to her to finish the leywright that solstice, because she has a longer lifespan than quay, and he wouldn't be with her to see the next one. she was distraught when she felt him slip away from her over the telepathic bond, even though she'd chosen to let it happen

part of the reason their marriage failed the first time is they just don't talk. there's so little communication between the two, not just on laerryn's side. quay has the big moments, yes, but how many of those does laerryn even know happened? she doesn't know that he fired elena to protect her from being blamed for evandrin. she doesn't know he prerecorded a broadcast to be played in the event of his death, that would tell the city not about laerryn's mistakes, but that it was loquatius himself who failed them, and laerryn tried everything she could to save the city. she doesn't know that he turned down a call from his queen and his family to come home and be protected from the apocalypse, bc he'd rather die trying to save laerryn, avalir, and his new family, than live without them

but aabria does.

and that gives way to the tiniest most hard hitting fourth wall breaks

like when quay turns his back on the seelie queen's offer - aabria immediately gives a small "no, no, you have to go"

laerryn needs him here. the story needs him here. there is no benefit to quay leaving, except that quay would be alive, and that's what laerryn desparantly wants, so it comes out in aabria

when we get to the climax, too, the big fight where all they're trying to do is keep laerryn alive long enough to activate the leywright, and it gets to quay's last turn? the first thing aabria says is "run. run."

laerryn is pragmatic. aabria knows this is a tragedy, and has been so far the most gung ho about playing into the tragedy. from a pragmatic perspective, loquatius should stay with laerryn, it gives the world a better chance of survival. narratively, loquatius should stay with laerryn bc that's how this story is supposed to go. and personally, loquatius should stay with laerryn because he can't bear to do anything else