#(atm)

A week or two ago, I got my proof to the contrary. I'd been having a difficult day, woke up late, and had to rush out the door, ran into minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, and then the straw broke the camel's back.

I wrote out the kind of angry vindictive seething text message I used to write constantly. I didn't send it, of course, I copied it out and pasted it in the folder of my notes where I put all my rage venting.

And then I thought.

Huh, it's been a little while since I did that. And I checked the time and dates on my previous notes. The last one was a few days before I started testosterone.

And scrolling back, I noticed that they were *constant* at least one a week for *years* I used to get so angry that I would get the serious urge to say cruel hurtful things to or about people I cared about on a near-daily basis. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until all of a sudden I hadn't gotten that angry in Eleven Months. Nearly a YEAR.

And then I realized in my rush to get out the door in the morning, I hadn't taken my T shot. My testosterone was the lowest it's been since August.

All of a sudden, I had demonstrable proof that testosterone really did make me less angry. That all that "you may not think you're any angrier but you are" was bullshit.

would you believe that “ATM” by Jihyo from Twice’s This Is For World Tour has changed my life?

The cruelty is especially jarring when it's presented as some sort of common sense. Is it common sense to tell trans boys, because some of these people are boys, 13-15-17 years old, that they should expect and accept adversarial reactions because of their boyhood and masculinity because that's just what being a man is?

These are trans people, trans children, which everyone seems to care about so much when it comes to legislation, but a lot less when they actually express needs and wants beyond 'I wanna be alive'

why can't trans boys be met with comfort when they express their pain to older members of the community?

What kind of trans elder are you going to be if in your twenties and thirties you are telling trans boys that it's normal for other queer and trans people to isolate them because of their gender?

so you admit it? you admit you're being virulently transphobic to trans men?