#((rip toaster))

it was late at night, or rather, early in the morning. the sun was just barely coming up, and not even the birds were singing yet. all of a sudden, you hear a loud noise that made you jolt out of bed. 

*BOOM!!!* 

“what the-!” you said, as you sat straight up, and reach over for your boyfriend out of instinct. 

except, he wasn’t there. instead, you heard obnoxiously loud laughter. 

“ugh,” you rolled your eyes. 

of course he would be up to something! but this early already?? you knew you should’ve trusted your gut when Darby asked if his friends can “crash on your couch” just a few hours ago. 

you threw on some slippers and walked to the back door. 

and there it was. the scene of the murder. 

your beautiful toaster you had used to make countless pieces of perfectly cooked bread. Darby and his friends noticed your arrival. but, you didn’t look at them. no, you were too focused on the kitchen appliance that served you so many good lunches, breakfasts, and dinners. now smashed to bits, with smoke all around the air, black soot around it, and the small red firecrackers they stuffed into it. 

thank god you lived in the country. 

Darby came over to you. 

“don’t worry,” he said. “i thought ahead this time!” 

“yeah, this time,” you rolled your eyes, and began to walk away. 

“go look in the kitchen!” he yelled as you stepped in the house. 

and low and behold, a brand new, technologically updated toaster was waiting just for you! 

next to it was a card, it was one of those “i’m sorry” cards.