“elara…damn, girl. how much can you drink?” xander let out a disbelieving laugh beneath his breath, still a little stunned every single time she managed to keep pace with him like it was effortless. she was so tiny, all soft skin and delicate hands, yet somehow handled liquor better than most grown men he knew. honestly, part of him always worried a little. he knew he’d feel sick with guilt if she woke up miserable the next morning, curled around some brutal hangover because he let the night get away from them. meanwhile, elara always seemed untouched by it all. unscathed. which was impressive considering xander himself almost always woke up with a headache pounding behind his eyes after drinking too much.

they’d been sitting out on his terrace for hours now, warmed by the elegant faux fireplace flickering between them like some artificial little sun. amber light danced across the sharp lines of his penthouse while the city skyline stretched endlessly behind her, all glittering windows and distant headlights blurred together beneath the night sky. somewhere along the way, xander had completely lost track of time. honestly, that tended to happen whenever he was with elara. whenever he had her full attention resting on him like this. they’d talked about everything. life. death. family. embarrassing stories neither of them would admit sober. random memories drifting lazily between them like cigarette smoke. and somewhere in the middle of it all, xander realized he felt like he was finally getting a glimpse behind the curtain, finally peering into the strange beautiful machinery of her mind instead of just admiring her from the outside.

“you ever think about how bad we could ruin each other?” his eyes narrowed slightly when he asked it, voice quieter now. roughened by alcohol and honesty. “kinda think i’d let you.” and christ, maybe he already was. he sat across from her watching the city lights spill across her skin in silver streaks turning her into something almost unreal. even through those drunk, half-lidded eyes she looked effortlessly beautiful. the kind of beautiful that made concentration feel impossible. “i can’t get enough of you,” he admitted suddenly. the confession slipped out easier than expected, probably encouraged by the liquor warming his bloodstream and the tightness that kept forming in his chest every time she held his gaze too long. “hope you know that.” xander exhaled slowly, fingers dragging along the arm of his chair.

“this is all new for me. i probably don’t know what the fuck i’m doing.” a quieter laugh left him then. “i don’t usually do -- this.” his hand motioned lazily between them. whatever this had become. he wasn’t even entirely sure why he kept talking. maybe because the alcohol loosened things he usually kept chained down somewhere deep inside himself. maybe because elara made honesty feel less terrifying than it normally did. “if there’s something i’m supposed to be doing,” he continued softer now, “i hope you know you can always talk to me.” his eyes lifted back toward hers. steady. sincere. “i’d do anything for you.” and honestly? that was probably the most vulnerable thing he’d ever admitted out loud.

xander slumped deeper into his chair afterward, stretching those long legs out in front of him while his gaze drifted upward toward the stars overhead like he suddenly needed somewhere else to look before he revealed too much more. “i swear,” he chuckled quietly, rubbing a hand over his face, “i used to be way better at not needing anybody until i met you.” another laugh slipped from him, softer this time. more helpless. “it’s like you walk into a room and suddenly i’m paying attention to nothing else.” he shook his head slightly. “do you know how annoying that is for somebody like me?” because it was annoying. devastatingly so. “you make me wanna stay places longer than i planned to.” his hand dragged slowly down his jaw while the confession kept unraveling out of him before he could stop it. drunk and rambling like this was rare for xander. almost unheard of. “and the worst part is…” his eyes flickered back toward her again. “i don’t even think you realize what you do to me.”

by the time he finally stopped talking, he realized he had no idea how long he’d been going on for. minutes maybe. longer. he turned his head fully toward elara then, only to find her already staring at him the entire time. something soft lived inside her expression now, something warm enough to make his chest tighten painfully. “i want you so badly,” he admitted quieter this time. more serious. “and shit…i’ll probably get things wrong. i fuck up all the time. everybody knows it.” his mouth twitched faintly.

“but i promise i’ll always give you my best. make you feel like nobody else even compares.” and before the weight of the moment could fully settle over either of them, elara was already stumbling toward him. xander barely had time to react before she collapsed right into his lap, warm and laughing and entirely his problem now. his arms wrapped around her instinctively, pulling her impossibly close while his eyes traveled slowly over every inch of her face. something unbearably fond had settled into his expression before he could stop it.

then suddenly, he laughed. involuntarily.

“are you wearing my sweatshirt?” his fingers tugged lightly at the neckline for a better look while disbelief colored every word. “when the hell did you get your pretty little hands on this?” he laughed again, shaking his head because he swore he’d torn apart his closet looking for that hoodie weeks ago. honestly, he should’ve known elara probably stole it alongside half his other favorites too. she didn’t even answer him. that tiny drunken smile on her face already told him everything he needed to know. xander’s expression softened instantly.