Ok so B and I are very tactile people. We mostly work from home, spend 90% of our days together, and touch each other all the time in a deeply habitual way.

We also work in the same industry, which means sometimes we go to the same in-person trainings/conferences/events.

We were at one such event yesterday and while a couple folks in attendance knew we were married to each other, most did not. Though, importantly, they did know that we each were married. We both wear rings. We regularly mention our spouses.

So, we arrived together and walked holding hands through the parking lot and, yes, had a smooch while alone in the elevator before we had to be on our professional best behavior (he was wearing a suit, kissing was unavoidable).

When the doors opened we were still a bit close together and got some looks. But I didn’t really clock them until later. We also checked in with each other a couple times through the evening and stepped out for a quiet moment here and there, which some people likely noticed.

So toward the end of the night, I was chatting with some peers and B came to stand next to me with some of his peers and without thinking I reached over to pull a bit of debris out of his hair and without pausing in his conversation, he reached over to squeeze the back of my neck and run his knuckles down my shoulder/arm in thanks.

There was a sudden lull in the conversation and I realized multiple people were looking at us with obvious discomfort. I rewound the last few seconds, considered some earlier indicators, and then hastily said, “we’re married! To each other! He’s my partner!”

And everyone let out a relieved exhale, had a laugh about it, and we continued on.