#( arc ) evolution

she tilts her head back, blinking rapidly to try and stop any more tears from coming. tears need to be over and done with. tears are so twenty minutes ago. she presses the heel of her hand into her eye and it comes away dark with mascara. she doesn't even want to know what she looks like right now.

"i'm just tired, pen. i'll be alright after i sleep. which isn't going to happen for awhile, because i've got to fix everything so rossi can lead for - oh, i don't know, the next ten thousand years."

and she can't do that looking like she spent the past hour crying in her office. she would never get her job back then. if she ever did. if she even wants it.

she pushes her makeup bag closer to garcia.

"i spent a hot minute in rome. i could do biblical references in latin."

she has done biblical references in latin before. so have unsubs. there's nothing like walking up to a situation and having to read something horrible in latin before you've even had coffee.

"and what if that's not fucking good enough?"

the words burn her mouth on the way out. she knows what a hypocrite she is, speaking like that about herself when she'd never say the same to him, or to anyone else. not like this. they try their best, they all do. they try better than their best, to the point where it tears them apart.

"yeah, it's fucking peachy is what it is." she presses the pads of her fingers into her temples, shutting her eyes for a brief moment. "i'll sleep when i'm dead. which i have been. and before you ask: no, i didn't sleep then, either." hard to sleep when you're constantly looking over your shoulder. "i know you're probably not thrilled about being in this early either."