#{uno reverse}

but now it's too late and shane has flipped the power dynamic in this joke

and getting this guy instead:

is just so so funny to me

So we all know Danny is batbait right?? But what if after vlad the fentons have developed a method to combat billionaires trying to adopt Danny.

So the fentons are in Gotham for some reason or another and they refuse the let Danny’s grades slip so they have him at Gotham prep.

Everyone knows Danny’s parents are mad scientists but Tim is really concerned about his new classmate that keeps coming in with new bruises everyday that he barely tries to hide.

He brings it up to Bruce after doing some investigations and Bruce decides to look into it.

Next thing Danny knows he keeps running into different members of the Wayne cult and the batfamily. It takes him longer than he’s care to admit to figure out they were the same people but in his defense he was exhausted from school, helping his parents with their clean energy project and training with fright knight.

That’s also his excuse for why it took him so long to realize they were trying to assimilate him. Once he does realize he starts going out of his way to avoid them, trying his best to keep his parents from finding out but he realizes it’s too late when his mom gleefully hands him a card one night and sends him on his way.

The next time danny encounters Batman he completely ignores his gentle encouragement and promises to protect him as he pulls out the card and throws it at batman.

Danny sighs and says “I’m sorry it’s come to this, but I need you to know you’ve brought this upon yourselves.” He turns and leaves behind a confused bat holding an UNO reverse card.

The next day Wayne manor is invaded by Jack Fenton carrying a stuggleing vlad over his shoulder and a giant tray of fudge in his other hand while Maddie gleefully hugs alfred proclaiming how happy she is to see her family getting bigger while Jazz is dragging Danny in behind her by his ankle while reading a book. Danny is snoring.

The Wayne’s are confused.

When Vlad finally breaks free he gives Bruce a pitiful look and asks if he also tried to adopt Daniel.

Jack then yells UNO REVERSE!! Instead of adopting Danny we have adopted you!!!!

Disclaimer: This is a purely fictional work inspired by the electrifying performances of the actors on screen. It has absolutely nothing to do with real-life terrorists or such individuals.

This another level (kon sa level vo nahi pata 🙃) of masterpiece is inspired from this and this post

The morning in Lyari didn’t start with the sound of a bullet; it started with the sound of Rehman’s spine cracking like a dry papadum.

Rehman groaned, clutching his lower back as he stood before the mirror. He caught Ulfat in the reflection, leaning against the doorframe with a look that was way too predatory for 8:00 AM.

"What? Staring is a crime, even for a wife," Rehman grumbled, reaching for his shirt.

Ulfat didn’t budge. "I’m admiring, Rehman. There’s a difference. One is creepy, the other is a compliment."

Before he could process the sass, she stepped into his personal space, not just a step, but a full-blown tactical maneuver and grabbed him by the waist, pulling his flush against her.

"Kya patli kamar hai tumhari, jaan," she whispered with a boldness that usually belonged to the Sardar of Lyari. Rehman froze. Usually, he was the one doing the pulling and the whispering. He felt a blush so hot it could’ve fried an egg on his cheeks. He was impressed, terrified, and confused all at once.

"Bhabhi! Yaha gadbad ho gayi hai!" A voice shrieked from the hallway, sounding like he’d just seen a ghost. "Shipment ke documents thode upar-neeche ho gaye hain, zara idhar akar dekhna. Afsana ne laparvahi kardi!"

Ulfat didn’t even flinch. She kept her grip on Rehman’s waist for a second longer than necessary. "Jaan, jab tum market jaoge toh aate hue lab reports le aana."

Rehman blinked, his brain short-circuiting. "Reports? Kaisi reports, jaan?"

"Arre, blood reports hain Uzair ki," she said casually, leaning in to press a firm, authoritative kiss to his forehead before strutting out like she owned the city.

"Uzair ki?? Kya hua usse..?!" Rehman yelled at the empty doorway.

Terrified that his brother was dying of some rare Lyari fever, he sprinted downstairs. He heard voices coming from the garden and burst through the doors like a SWAT team. The scene he saw made his soul leave his body.

Uzair was sitting on a yoga mat, glowing with the intensity of a thousand suns literally, his skin had a shimmer that shouldn't be biological. Hamza was hovering over him, holding a cushion like it was a sacred relic. But when Rehman’s eyes dropped to Uzair’s midsection, his lungs simply gave up. There was a massive, round bulge under Uzair’s kurta.

"Uzair.... yeh... yeh kya kar rahe ho?" Rehman wheezed.

Uzair looked up, chirping like a Disney princess. "Bhaiii.... Main apni aur baby ki health ke liye yoga kar raha hoon. Dekhiye mera pregnancy glow? Ek dum natural hai!"

Hamza chimed in, looking frantic. "Maine isse kitni baar bola hai ki 7th month mein aise baith kar na kare! Kahin hamare baby ko lag na jaye, par yeh meri baat sunta hi kaha hai? Ziddi ho gaya hai mera Uzzie!"

Rehman slapped his head three times, hard. I didn't drink last night. Was the tea spiked? Am I high on Lyari smog?

Uzair and Hamza exchanged a look of pure pity. "Bhai... kya hua? Aap theek nahi lag rahe? Aapka BP shoot toh nahi kar gaya?"

"BP?!" Rehman screamed. "Tum mard ho! Tumhari kokh mein bacha kaise?!"

"Bhai, don't be so negative," Uzair pouted, rubbing his belly. "Positive vibes only for the baby."

They all retreated to the hall where Ulfat was sitting. She wasn't slumped in a chair like Rehman, who usually sat like a liquid mess; she was sitting perfectly upright, sipping a glass of wine with the elegance of a Victorian duchess.

"Shut up, idiots!" she snapped when they started arguing. "You’re irritating the mother of the upcoming child. Uzair needs silence and organic snacks."

Rehman felt his last brain cell flicker. "So... how are you even going to deliver this baby? Logistics samjhao mujhe!"

Everyone looked at Uzair’s bump, then at Ulfat, since she was the walking Google of the house. She tapped her chin, observing Uzair’s midsection like it was a complex calculus equation.

"Umm... maybe we can cut—"

"CUTTT!! KYA KATWANE WALI HO?!" all three men shrieked in unison, instinctively covering their own midsections.

Ulfat rolled her eyes so hard they almost got stuck. "Shut up, idiots! I was talking about the abdomen. C-section! You stupids, kuch bhi sochte rehte ho."

The silence hung heavy for a second before they all erupted into nervous, hysterical laughter.

Hamza helped Uzair up, hand firmly on his back. "Chalo Uzzie, tumhe juice pilata hoon. Aaj bohot yoga kar liya, ab thoda relax karlo, junior thak gaya hoga." Uzair nodded shyingly, blushing like a bride.

Ulfat set her glass down and cornered Rehman. She pulled his flush against her again. "Jaan... tumhe nahi lagta ki ab humein bhi baby planning kar leni chahiye? Waise toh main abhi tayaar hoon, par tumhe sochne ka mauka deti hoon. Jab bhi tumhe lage ki tum baby ki dekhbhal kar sakte ho, mere paas aa jana. Tumhari wish poori kar dungi."

She winked and leaned in for a deep, bruising kiss. As they parted, Rehman felt a weird weight. He looked down his own belly was inflating like a balloon. Ulfat was smiling, waving an ultrasound of triplets in his face.

"NAHIIIIII!"

Rehman bolted upright, gasping for air. He immediately checked his stomach. Flat. He checked his important parts. Still there.

"Fucking hell," he panted, wiped the sweat from his forehead.

He went to the garden to calm down with some tea. After ten minutes, he realized he hadn't seen Uzair or Hamza. The trauma of the dream came rushing back. He saw Donga nearby.

"Oye Donge! Ye Hamza aur Uzair kidhar hain?"

Donga sighed, looking exhausted. "Bhai, woh aapki takht (throne) par—"

Rehman didn't let him finish. He threw his tea cup into the air and sprinted toward the office, screaming, "ABBE SALON KO ROKKK—!”

Ok, I am very tempted to write a short story about this but first I'd like to talk about it. So hear me out. What if Vlad wasn't looking for revenge when he sent his vultures after Jack? What if they were actually there to investigate a very disturbing rumor about a certain ghost boy that very closely resembles Jack's youngest child, Danny?

Vlad hopes against hope he's wrong about this, but after hearing about a lab accident Danny had a few months ago while doing a background check on his old roommate Jack and his family purely to refresh his memory on the finer details about the him before seeing him again for the first time in almost two decades at their 20th college reunion, he becomes concerned there might be a new half ghost floating around in the world now besides himself. After all, Jack used to be his best friend and that's a very hazardous position to be in regardless of if there are any ghosts involved.

Once Vlad's worst fears are unfortunately confirmed he becomes absolutely furious on their behalf and decides he's going to personally do everything in his power to get Jazz and Danny out of such a dangerous living environment no matter what the cost. Which for him is nothing compared to what they'll all get in return, peace of mind. Why? Because Vlad just doesn't want an innocent teenager to go through the same hell he did as a broke college student when he got his ghost powers. I personally like this idea better than him creeping on a married woman.

He becomes especially protective of him after Danny's secret gets exposed to him either the night before the party or sometime during it and Vlad verbally tears Jack and Maddie apart for almost killing their own child the same way they almost killed him, threatening to destroy them in court if they refuse to change their careless ways. I mean...the screenshot below kinda says it all. They have a fully functional dungeon IN THEIR HOUSE!

As such, whenever they get into an argument when they fight Vlad's not giving Danny the original sale's pitch of "ruling the world" together, he's literally TRYING TO SAVE HIS LIFE! Danny however, bless his little heart, is too loyal to his family to see how dangerous staying in Amity Park really is. Vlad keeps trying to prove it to him but gets nowhere until it finally happens. Jazz is almost killed by a ghost, Spectra, and Danny almost doesn't make it in time...

To clarify, "Bitter Reunions" takes place only one episode before "My Brother's Keeper" so at this point in the timeline she still doesn't know her brother is half ghost. She's pretty easy to win over to Vlad's side for the most part though at this point since she shares a lot of the same safety concerns about their house and the town in general as he does.

However, Jazz is reluctant to part ways with her parents either despite their flaws because she believes they can still do better and be better. When she's targeted by a ghost and saved by another who turns out to be her own brother though it changes a lot of things for both of them.

Maybe Vlad's right.

Maybe they do need help after all. Still, there's got to be another way to do this besides letting Vlad take legal custody of them.

Okay I have a genuine question for all of you...like I wanna hear your real thoughts.

So in the US, it's common for teachers to make a wishlist every year of things they need/want for their classroom, because US schools don't fund classrooms. We get a bare room with desks and chairs and a board, a pretty minimal paycheck, and that's it. We have to fund the room on our own.

So, during covid-ish, the concept of 'Clear the List' was born, where teachers would make an Amazon Wishlist (yes I know amazon sucks but amazon wishlists can hide addresses and people can buy directly from the list rather than donating money so they know they are providing actual supplies) and post online asking people to buy from their list. So now every year, teachers do that.

It's something I do every summer- I make a wishlist and post it on insta and facebook and ask people to donate. And I probably get...half of what's on my list.

And I'm insanely grateful, PLEASE don't get me wrong, but to be honest, I'd say I spend a good $1000+ a year on things for my students. And I really wish I could give them more, because they deserve it.

And then I was thinking, well I always get tagged in fundraisers on here, what would be the harm in posting my list on here?

But I genuinely want to know what everyone thinks of the idea because I don't want to come off as like...needing it? I certainly am not rich, but I'm not in a situation where I'm desperate for money. I am not sick, and I can pay my bills.

I also have no way of proving to you all that I am a teacher, because I'm not going to risk my job by posting proof on here.

I also REALLY don't want minors buying me things on the internet. Like really, really, really I don't want that. You all have your own shit to worry about.

And I don't want anyone to feel like anything I post on here is transactional- I write fanfiction because I like it (nobody should charge for fanfic) and I give advice because I want to. And I don't want anyone to feel like I'm...idk, being annoying, or something?

But then I'm like...would there be harm in posting it, if it could help provide for my students?

I don't know...thoughts?