#{outofsuits}

Starforcecommander: *Tries to make illogical half sentences to express confusion*

Why someone approaching me in the fashion “Hey, if you want to interact, message me” bothers me so much:

You actively put yourself in a passive position. That is sending two messages (or maybe more) that can be interpreted by the other person in different ways depending on their experiences in the fandom, their insecurities and something as simple as having a good day or not.

Message 1: “Hey I want to rp with you, but I don’t dare to outright ask you to”. That in itself isn’t a bad message to relay, but here is the thing: By messaging a person alone you are overcoming a HUGE obstacle in communication: You are starting the communication! You approach a stranger! That takes COURAGE! But you see yourself as not courageous enough to ask outright for an rp? Why? Because experience taught you people can be difficult to approach? People say no sometimes?  So what? YOU had the COURAGE to approach others! Trust me there are plenty of rpers out there who usually don’t bring up that courage! Own it! You had the courage, you tried, you rocked it. You approached someone!

Message 2: And this is where your courage to approach someone might get squashed in that passive approach: “Hey, I see you, but you are not important enough for me to ask you to rp, if you really want to, you have to work for it”. I probably don’t have to tell anybody why this message is not a message you want to send. For the more insecure rpers, who will read that message this way, it will turn them away. Insecure rpers who already have trouble approaching people might not put you on the list of people they want to approach, because whether you wanted to or not, you accidentally put yourself a step above the other.

So long story short, here’s a few little something you should keep in mind:

If you want to rp with someone and approach them be active about it! You had the courage to approach someone, you ROCK! 

Keep in mind that other rpers might be insecure. Be active about your approach to them, because it opens up a conversation much more positively!

If the other person doesn’t want to rp with you, chances are they would have declined you no matter if you were active or passive about your approach. And keep in mind: Not everyone has to like you or want to rp with you, we all write our own stories, we all are the heroes of our own stories, some people just aren’t meant to be in them and that is okay.

Your way to interpret your muse is unique! Nobody else has the same version of your muse as you do! You are allowed to be proud of that and you should be!

I'm sorry, my blog has been on hiatus for so long. Just wanted you all to know I miss you loads and I hope someday I can write Ianto once again in the future.

I will be gone until saturday! I am off to see a concert and stay with a friend and relax from the stressful last weeks!

It is super important to read rules. I can not stress that enough. People who have sensitive issues in their past that will make them uncomfortable, will have those triggers and stuff in there. Listen to that!

Some, like me, have banned faceclaims in their rules. There is a simple reason for it: These faceclaims are associated to something that make them uncomfortable. 

I will use two examples of myself on why this is so important under the cut: