#{extras}

I mean, John just thinks Eric is this absolutely fake twink Paula Dean who MARRIED A MILLIONAIRE RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE. Who does that? Who gets married at like 24? To some Canadian prince? Anyway, Eric Bittle's vlog is cute or whatever, but. Okay—

Is his accent even real?

It's okay if it's fake; John just wants to know.

And when they finally do meet, Bitty has pies. Like endless pies. Where do they come from? John is confused by this. No one should be able to conjure pies from thin air. And Bitty is trying so hard to get John to like him and keeps touching John's forearm while he's talking. He's like an HGTV host on steroids; it's a lot.

And Bitty meets John, and John is really a piece of work. He clearly thinks veeery highly of himself and his position as the cover artist on The New York Review, which is amazing, yes, but. He just kind of sits in the corner sketching and making snide comments and speaks entirely in punchlines. And Bitty appreciates menswear, but he dresses like an extra on Mad Men and has a briefcase? A briefcase. For what? All his important cartoons? And he seems skeptical that Bitty actually likes to get to know people? Has he truly never interacted with someone from south of the mason-dixon line

(And good Lord there's nothing wrong with having a hobby, but Bitty does not care much for cartoons or animation and didn't need the twenty minute lecture on Garfield or Heathcliff or Calvin & Hobbes. He doesn't know which one of those is which.)

lardo and shitty think John is SO annoying because lardo knew art majors like him at samwell, and Shitty KNOWS pretentious rich kids from Boston suburbs—BECAUSE SHITTY IS A PRETENTIOUS RICH KID FROM A BOSTON SUBURB. ("Oh God, this motherfucker was on the bullet??? Fucking kill me. the worst goddamn pricks at our liberal arts institution.")

Hunter meets The Boys is absolutely terrified of the samwell men's hockey team. Sports should be outlawed. They're unnecessary and messy and they inflate the male ego. Gross. She meets Ransom and Holster and is just confused by how LOUD they are. ("They kept trying to get me to chant Samwell with them. And asked where my Samwell pride was? Girl. I went to NYU.")(But Holster starts talking about Broadway—okay, there might be hope yet.)

Excuse me, kill?

Wikipedia? Excuse me?

Jayde & Jack are in Mrs. Hattie Loden's 3rd grade class at Canalside Primary School. Jack's favorite subject is math and his favorite activity is recess (the water table, specifically). Jayde's favorite subject is art and her favorite activity is hanging out on the monkey bars.

It's a happy ending!

Princess x Knight - Epilogue