a little drabbly drabble thing where Meryll finds out about her father’s run-in with Wenda the White Fawn, bringing clarity to the troubled relationship between father and daughter. told from ser barristan’s pov.
It was raining, so Meryll was not on the deck in her usual spot. Instead, she was reading in the Captain’s quarters (though the crew members were now referring to them as the Lady’s quarters, much to Groleo’s amusement). He found her stretched out in an armchair, feet propped up on the table and completely absorbed in The Rogue Sellsword’s Accidental Bride. Thankfully, she had traded in the revealing Pentoshi gowns for loose breeches and flowing tunics, reminding him of the day he found her in the forest clearing when he was running from the crown.
“I never would have thought the girl who cleaved my training sword in two would turn out to be a romantic,” he said, sitting in the chair across from her.
Meryll scoffed. “I’m not. I’m just enough of a cynic to know that the reason these books are so good is because they bear no resemblance whatsoever to real life.” She set the book down on the table between them. “My sisters got me started on them. Probably the only girlish thing I ever enjoyed.”
He begged to differ, thinking of her fondness for perfumes, pear tarts, and white knights, but he said nothing.
“I wish I would have sent letters to my sisters from Pentos, but it never even occurred to me at the time,” she said wistfully.
“It never occurred to me either,” Barristan admitted. “I’m sorry, my lady, I suppose we should have sent word to your Grandfather that you were safe and he should stop looking for you.”
She laughed, but it wasn’t a happy laugh. “Lord Grandfather would not have even noticed my absence.”
“Of course he would have, you are his flesh and blood,” Barristan said, affronted that she would make such a statement.
“Me and 110 other descendants,” she retorted. “Grandfather can’t even remember all the names of his sons, never mind the daughters and grand-daughters.”
“Your father then,” Barristan tried. “He must be worried.”
“He is likely glad to be rid of me.”
Barristan frowned. “Why would you say such a thing?”
She looked him straight in the eye then. “My father is not fond of me, Ser Barristan,” she said matter-of-factly.
“I’m sure you got yourself in trouble plenty of times, but why would you say the man is not fond of you?” he asked. “You mentioned he took you to Seagard as a girl. He would not have taken you on such an important trip if he did not care for you.”
A ghost of a smile crossed her lips. “It was different then.” She curled up in the chair, arms wrapped around her knees, and stared at some memory off in the distance. “I was the fourth daughter. Four girls and no sons. My father had been greatly disappointed by another daughter, as you can imagine. I don’t know if someone eventually told me that, or if I just somehow sensed it, but as early as I can remember, I tried to be the son my father wanted. I dressed in boys clothing and followed him everywhere. He taught me how to care for the horses, how to fish, how to ford the river when the waters were high, and yes, even took me along on trips to visit other noble houses.”
Barristan smiled, not finding it hard at all picturing this rough and tumble little girl that she spoke of, dressed in jerkin and breeches and eager to please.
“And then my brother was born,” she said shrugging, “and Father had a real son. I was getting to the point then where I couldn’t really pass myself off as a boy anymore anyway.” She stopped talking then, deep in thought. Barristan waited.
Meryll looked up to meet his eyes, her brow knitted in confusion. “It wasn’t even like he just set me aside and forgot about me. It was as if my very existence offended him somehow. I wasn’t going to be the son he wanted, obviously, but neither had I learned any of the skills that girls were normally taught, and I felt like Father was just … almost, disgusted … by my utter uselessness.”
She blinked and looked down at her hands, shrugged again. “He drank too much, my father. Used to rage something terrible.”
She was making excuses for her father’s abuse and neglect.
“And he had terrible headaches from a head injury he suffered when he was younger. I think he drank to relieve the pain.”
The mention of a head injury caught Barristan’s attention. “Your father,” he said, thinking hard. He recalled a young squire of House Frey who had been hit in the head with a mace. “What was his name?”
“Merrett Frey,” Meryll said, sitting up straight. “Why do you ask? Did you know him?”
“Not personally. But he was a squire for Lord Crakehall, was he not?” Barristan had always had a knack for remembering the squires’ names, despite the large number of them that came and went over the years. Meryll nodded and Barristan continued. “It was on an expedition against the Kingswood Brotherhood that he received that injury. He was dead to the world for nearly a fortnight, no one thought he’d ever wake again.” He rubbed his beard thoughtfully. “You know, my lady, I don’t think your father’s supposed dislike for you was personal.”
She scowled. “How could it not be personal?”
“I don’t think it was about you at all. That expedition… it was not a successful one for your father. Even before his head injury, he was captured by one of the outlaws, a veritable woman warrior known as Wenda the White Fawn. She ransomed him and released him once Lord Crakehall paid, but she also branded him—”
“With a fawn!” Meryll finished, wide-eyed. “On his arse! Mother forbade any of us from ever mentioning it.”
“He was very shamed by the experience. The other squires, and some of the knights too, I’m afraid, teased him relentlessly about being bested by a woman.”
“But you didn’t,” Meryll said with quiet confidence.
“No,” Barristan confirmed, “and neither was I able to do much to stop it. But, I just wonder. Wenda the White Fawn, your father must have hated her something fierce. A woman, young and fair, skilled in the arts of men, and known for her prowess with a bow and arrow in particular,” he said, raising his eyebrows at Meryll.
She squinted at him. “You think… you think he hated me because of this Wenda?”
“I do not think he hated you at all. But when you reached womanhood, you were likely a constant reminder of the most terrible, emasculating and humiliating experience of his life,” he said gently.
“I— I’m not sure that’s much better.”
“But it wasn’t because of anything you did, Meryll.”
It gave her something to think about, if nothing else, he thought, watching the mix of emotions pass over her features.
The door swung open then, and Groleo stomped in with a bottle of ale in hand. “Rain’s done!” he announced and then stopped dead in the doorway. “I’m sorry, I can come back if I’m interrupting,” he said, eyes moving from Barristan to Meryll and back again.
Barristan tilted his head, meeting Meryll’s eyes in a silent question. Did she want Groleo to leave? She looked shocked and confused, as if she had just woken up from a long sleep and found herself in a strange place. She stood, retrieving her book from the table.
“No, no. If the rain has stopped, I’ll go read outside,” she said.
Barristan wanted to follow her out, make sure she was well, but he also suspected she needed to time to absorb what he had told her. “Take your time,” he said. “Those two books need to last you at least another month.”
Groleo held the door open for her, and she stopped in the doorway and turned back. “Thank you, Ser Barristan,” she said, eyes a little too shiny, and then left. Groleo closed the door behind her and took a seat on the chair she had vacated.
“I have a trunk full of books in my study she can read but they may not be of any interest to a young woman,” Groleo remarked, pouring the ale into two drinking horns. “Mostly history and astronomy tomes.”
“You might be surprised. Her tastes are quite varied,” Barristan said, thinking of the Maester’s book of battle injuries she had packed in her bag.
Groleo handed Barristan a horn of ale. “She’s a special sort of lady, our Meryll, is she not? Or are many women in Westeros like her?”
“Not many, no,” Barristan said with a small smile, and took a long drink of ale.
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is submissive | is dominant | prefers to top | prefers to bottom | likes to switch| identifies as heterosexual | identifies as homosexual | identifies as bisexual | identifies as pansexual | identifies as demisexual | identifies as asexual | enjoys sex with men | enjoys sex with women | enjoys sex with multiple people at one time | initiates | waits for partner to initiate | spits | swallows | prefers sex in the morning | prefers sex at night | prefers sex any time | no sex drive | low sex drive | average sex drive | high sex drive | hypersexual
BODY/APPEARANCE:
small build | medium build | athletic build | muscular build | curvy build | voluptuous build | stocky build | chubby | fat | boxers | briefs | boxer-briefs | wears lingerie | goes ‘commando’ |shaves/waxes | doesn’t shave/wax | cup size a-c | cup size d-f | 1-5" in length | 6-9“ in length | 10” or over in length
SOUNDS:
is silent/makes little to no sounds | is very quiet | is VERY loud | grows in volume over time | bites hand / partner / bedding to muffle themselves | calls our partner’s name | curses | fakes/exaggerates | prefers a quiet partner | prefers a loud partner | is turned on by dirty talk | is turned off by dirty talk
TURN-ONS/KINKS:
having their hands pinned | pinning their partner’s hands | having their hair pulled | pulling their partner’s hair | being watched (by their partner) | being watched (by a third party)| watching their partner | receiving oral | giving oral | calling their partner ‘daddy’ | being called ‘daddy’ | giving praise | receiving praise | biting / marking | being bitten /marked | spanking | being spanked | teasing | being teased | having toys used on them | using toys on their partner | giving anal | receiving anal | choking | being choked | being tied up | tying their partner up | being worshipped | worshipping their partner | humiliating | being humiliated | degrading | being degraded | knife play | blood play | being pegged | pegging their partner | whipping |being whipped | none of the above
PLACES:
in a bedroom | in a shower / bath | in a pool/ocean | in a kitchen | in a bathroom (home)| in a bathroom (public) | in a car | in a tent | in an alleyway | in a field / forest | at a school | in an empty / abandoned building | in a library | on a rooftop / terrace | in a dressing room | in an elevator | in a parking lot | at a museum | at a cemetery | at a beach | in a closet | at a hospital
RULES : you can only say guilty or innocent . you are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you or asks you . repost , don’t reblog !
Asked someone to marry you ? - innocent.
Kissed one of your friends ? - guilty.
Danced on a table in a bar / tavern ? - guilty.
Ever told a lie ? - guilty.
Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have ? - guilty.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex ? - guilty.
Kissed a picture ? - innocent.
Slept until 5pm ? - guilty.
Fallen asleep at work / school ?
Held a snake ? - innocent.
Been suspended from school ? -
Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant ?
Stolen something ? - guilty
Been fired from a job ?
Done something you regret ? - guilty
Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose ? - guilty.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue ? - guilty.
Kissed in the rain ? - innocent.
Sat on a roof top ? - guilty.
Kissed someone you shouldn’t ? - guilty.
Sang in the shower ? - guilty.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on ? - guilty.
Shaved your head ? - innocent.
Slept naked ? - guilty.
Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry ? - innocent.
Shot a gun ?
Still love someone you shouldn’t ? - guilty.
Have / had a tattoo ? - innocent.
Liked someone , but will never tell who ? - guilty.
Been too honest ? - guilty.
Ruined a surprise ? - guilty.
Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said ? - guilty.
Still have communication w/ your ex ? - guilty.
Cheated on someone ? - guilty.
Got so angry that you cried ? - guilty.
Tried to stay away from someone for their own good ? - guilty.
Thoughts about suicide ? - guilty.
Thoughts about murder ? - guilty.
How about mass murder ? - innocent.
Stalked someone ? - guilty.
Had a girlfriend / boyfriend ? - guilty.
Gotten totally drunk during a holiday ? - guilty.
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Dandelion: Scrappy and tough, you’re a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps kind of person. You don’t give up easily and you often thrive in situations that others would find discouraging. You have an instinct to serve others and see yourself as most useful in times or places of crisis, but you may over rely on your toughness and forget how sensitive you really are.
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is meryll in love with barristan in the book timeline threads too? wouldn't he be like 40 years older than her?
geez anon
yes ... and yes.
In book timeline, it’s more like she’s just crushing really hard on him... but yes, in the threads where they spend considerable time together, she will grow to love him. Personally, I think Ser Barristan would be slightly horrified by this young woman being in love with him when he really just thinks of her like a daughter. But she wouldn’t be Meryll if she wasn’t falling for someone unattainable.
