#`msg.

                       ( &REGRET HEADCANONS ) → accepting !

✛ something they said

i’ve said a lot of bad things in my time, and i’ve made a lot of poor decisions. most of those kinda... relate to each other. i should probably learn from my mistakes, but i don’t know, it just seems impossible. pretty much everything i say, i regret at some point later on but, the first thing that comes to mind is something i said that night i spent with taehyung up on the roof. the opportunity was right there, right in front of me. he was saying things like, he was in love with me, that he totally and completely fell for me. i should have trusted him, but i didn’t trust myself enough to listen to what he was saying. so i told him that there was no love between us, nothing at all, and that he was just being ridiculous.

and we didn’t talk for weeks after that. it was like, my own circle of hell, those weeks without him. and i’m not stupid, i know he was avoiding me, so i avoided him as well. but then when we got set up on that blind date-- i knew. it was like, a sign from the heavens or something. my own shot at redemption. i couldn’t let him go that day, not again. and now that he’s actually, really mine, i don’t plan on ever going without him again.

✝ a secret they kept

answered.

✠  a relationship they had

                        ( &REGRET HEADCANONS ) → accepting !

✝ a secret they kept

really? the secret i regret the most? i keep a lot of secrets, really. it’s probably no surprise but, i don’t really like to tell people things, especially things about me. it’s just hard for me to open up, y’know? even to my best friend in the world, i couldn’t say anything. but who could blame me? i mean, do you think you could tell somebody your biggest secret, when they’re part of the problem? not that it was a problem, per se. it wasn’t easy to keep it in, sure, but i sure as hell wasn’t going to actually admit my feelings to his face. i’m the cool, suave guy, the one who charms all the ladies and has no time for relationships. that was my image, i couldn’t fess up and tell him how i really felt.

                         ( &REGRET HEADCANONS ) →accepting !

✜ something they didn’t say 

there was a time in middle school, when i was small and insecure. really, i thought i was gonna stay this little thing for the rest of my life! that’s why i was too scared to confront those bullies. they kept making fun of me for things i couldn’t control, things i couldn’t possibly change by myself. it was a tough time. but i get it, those kinds of people do those things because they’re having trouble with their own lives. still, i should have just said something. maybe they would have stopped. who knows now, though. but i’d like to see them try and mess with me now.

✠  a relationship they had

                     ( &LETTERS … )  → accepting !

dear santa,

hey there, jolly ol’ pal. how’s it goin up there at the north pole? those elves of yours doing all that good slave labor for ya? i know i don’t really believe in you anymore but, hey, might as well write you something to get in the christmas spirit, am i right? that, and taehyung won’t stop talking about you this time of year. it’s pretty cute, not gonna lie, but i think he might actually be serious when he talks about you traveling the world and delivering presents to all the children. and speaking of taehyung, can you get him something really good for christmas? i just want him to be happy, and i know you’d be really good at that. not like i’m doubting my own skill or anything but, more is always better, right?

cordially,

전정국 xx

dear zion.t,

oh my GOD. i love you. like, for real i LOVE YOU. don’t tell taehyung i said that. okay but honestly? you’re the best. no joke, i listened to ‘eat’ for about 7 hours non-stop while i was at work one day, and i never even got tired of it! i just wish i could meet you, or even better, i wish i could actually be you. wouldn’t that be so cool?! me, zion.t. superstar. voice like honey. get all the ladies (don’t tell taehyung i said that either). ah, one day, i’ll have to see you live. i have to. i think my life would have been a waste if i die without seeing you live and in the flesh. wait for me!!

your biggest fan (seriously),

                      ( &LETTERS … )  → accepting !

dear mom and dad,

your favorite son here! i hope you two are healthy and doing well, especially without your faithful son to help out around the house!! i’m sorry i haven’t been calling lately. on the bright side, though, i’m doing well out here in the city! plus, i haven’t failed any of my classes yet, so there’s some good news. i’m managing well on my own here too, though with the help of a few friends. i’ve met all kinds of people, here, i really wish you could meet them all. there’s someone in particular who i’d like you to meet, but i’m not sure you’re ready for that yet! sorry to keep you waiting, heh.

i’ll come and visit soon, promise!

                       ( &LETTERS … )  → accepting !

dear boyfriend,

oh man, i can already tell this is going to be embarrassing. but it’s for you, and i’d do anything for you. and you know, this letter is very nicely timed, as it just so happens to be december 12th today. what an interesting date, don’t you think? ah yes, one month ago today, we became official. like, for real. seriously. a couple. us. together. wow. can you believe it?!?!? happy anniversary, taetae.

we’ve only been together for a month now, but you’ve really turned my whole world upside down. it’s amazing, how one person can affect you in such a way. even when we met it was like, wow, how could such a person exist? somebody who can actually put up with me on a daily basis, somebody who laughs and plays along with my bad jokes, somebody who just loves and accepts me for me. like, are you even real, kim taehyung?! i’m forever blessed to have even been able to call you a friend, and even more so to actually be able to call you mine.

this past month with you has been more than i could have ever asked for. i’ve never felt more special in my life, and that’s saying a lot. even just this past month has felt like the best month of my life, as cliche as that sounds. i think you’ve helped me come through some of my insecurities, and that’s pretty amazing. i hope you know how much you mean to me.

most people would think i’m a difficult person to be around, but i’m glad you don’t think so. i hope you never think so, now that i mention it. i’d probably shrivel up and die, and you don’t want that, right?! i don’t think you’d feel that way anyway, unless i reaaaally screwed something up, and if that ever happens, feel free to kindly slap me in the face or something. seriously.

i love you so much, and thank you for loving me too, taehyung. i hope to spend many many maaanyy more months with you. 

lots of love from your darling sweet precious amazing boyfriend,

전정국 xx

                        ( &LETTERS … )  → accepting !

dear landlord,

first off, i just wanted to thank you for actually housing me. like, i know i’m paying to live here but still, i’m surprised you haven’t kicked me out yet. but i mean hey, someone’s gotta be the life of the party around here, am i right, or am i right? i mean, i was sensing a severe lack of humor and dashing good looks so, thought you’d need me here. alright, alright, i’m kidding. or am i?

you know it’s funny, because i’ve got this memory of me saying i’d sue if i got a top bunk, because of all the injuries i’d get from hitting my head, yet.. you still.. gave me.. a.. top.. bunk….. you’ve got a sense of humor, huh? i like it. you keep being you.

sincerely,

전정국 xx