Alright, wow.
I had no idea about the half of this, but of course, you never told me or tried to seek help from me. I wouldn’t have expected anything less.
I’m trying to take all this in and gather my thoughts on it right now but I’m genuinely confused and concerned as to where all of this is coming from? From the alter’s perspective, I’m finding it incredibly hard to grasp and understand what’s going on in your head.
I understand that this is the kind of episode you have sometimes but much of this, to myself, seemed like incoherent babbling. If I’ve been missing anything, I want you to write directly to me, because I’m honestly confused. You shouldn’t be afraid to message my blog, for example, with anything you want to say. In fact, that could be useful. I want to know. I can’t help unless you allow me to, even if you might think I’m fake.
Shit I feel switchy again but to make this short and sweet, you ain’t faking anything. I can understand some and I’m hearing how you’re feeling. It must be terrible. I get times where I question myself, too. Not to that extent, though. I don’t think that this whole ‘’I’m faking it’’ scenario is something that I alone can fix and in my opinion I think it would be best if we got seen to by a professional as soon as possible, because this is damaging. If anything, this is your sign that you aren’t faking. Listen, I remembered jack shit of what’s been happening out here. That should be your sign that you’re not faking. If you were, I would be you, and I’d remember everything. I would be the one faking it. But I’m not you. I’m Haz, with my own opinions, my own memories, my own likes and dislikes. This morning, I took a shower inner world and had to borrow Tia’s shampoo because I had to run out of my own. Nettie ate three bowls of cereal because I’m soft and let her have two too many. Cobalt once saw me in fucking boxers. And whilst I’m mentioning him, he’s kicking about in inner world again. He actually has his own room in the mansion now.
Jesus there’s so much I could bring up to counteract your argument. If we’re talking about personal experiences, I wonder why the inner world is partially made up of the church from your childhood? Don’t you think you’d have ‘made up’ something much more fun than a church? It makes too much sense to be fake, whilst also making too little sense to be fake. This is your sign, and I want you to come back to it when you need it.
I will try my best to help you, but I can’t if you don’t let me in. We’ll all try our best to help you. Tia was just saying earlier how she’d be more than happy to cook healthier things for you, or learn with you, and how much she’d like that. If you won’t let us be who we want to be and do what we want to do for now, then at least let us help you.
I have no idea whether the headspace will be as open now, but we’ll have to see. I tried to tell you earlier that part of the reason why that is is because we’re busy inner world, but also because we want you to get on with stuff instead of throwing hissy fits like this. I’m pretty sure you took hold of that. Now please believe it. Believe in us, because whether you like it or not we’re here for you.
~Haz
