Apr 14, 2023
This one too sparked an idea. Watch this space
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This one too sparked an idea. Watch this space
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Of if you play games can I suggest OMORI to you?? It's my current hyperfixation aha, I think youd enjoy it too!
Oooh, it looks gorgeous and Iβm intrigued! Iβll definitely look into it, thanks for the recommendation! :D
The time to worry about angry oranges has passed. Celebrate a new age with this fireworks launcher! Designed by the big kids from Mojang Studios themselves, put to blueprint by me.
It is pretty annoying to have dreams of my past life when I am trying to get away from it. People I can't have. Friendships I walked away from. An unhealthy lifestyle. And powder I could have done without. I get lost in sleep and for a few moments each night I get to dream of you, or you, or you. Ghosts that haunt me because I can't shut them out. A song, a memory, an unspoken agreement. One day I'll pack my things and leave these fields, but will you all follow me? Will the bare bones of my existence still see through when I've built an entire empire on top of it? Will I have worked this hard to become normal, only to realize I am still too sick to function? Am I but a little girl crying alone for her mother to love her, and feeling so alone. I've had so much trauma in my life that I don't have time to deal with the optional baggage I take in. Yet I am still here! Screaming and crying into the void wishing so loudly to be heard. In all I have done for happiness, I lost my rights to ask for help. My security is the means for more than just me, if I fall there is no where else for them to be. I am a statue of appeasement and success. If I fall I am nothing but a false God, and this scares them. I'm forced to bite back how miserable I feel, and fight for them instead. It has been so long since I could reach out to someone that cared enough or understood me enough to listen. Instead I am left with adults and burned bridges like everyone else. Healthy, secure, safe. And I still don't feel like it.
I want to cry out in the night about how sad my heart is. I want to explain to someone who can understand the deep sadness I feel. That spending a year ripping out my heart can follow me until the days fade together. I'm left walking on a smooth path, but I still feel the dark claws burning deep into my back. Black stilettos making pinholes in my scalp with softer blue eyes begging in the distance. I physically see myself wrapping arteries around my wrist and pulling with all my might to get every part of the old me out. To erase the bad I have done to myself, and spring clean these ghosts from my halls. It feels like a never ending battle, especially with these dreams. I'm left falling for you every chance my eyes close, and I wake up as sad as ever. Or times where my dreams lead me past you, and to darker times. Where I respected myself less, and made bed to a demon.
I can type as much as I want, and create a biography. You'll be so many chapters, and still get the best of me. I hate you for it- and the lie that it is. For forcing me to understand that I believed too much again. It is going to be a pattern of love and hate, that ends with you failing a great deal. Until I find you in subways and sewer drains when I fall into another fitful sleep...and dream of you again.
I really want to change my theme to a more Winter Pine Tree aesthetic but... what about my space aesthetic
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Sometimes
you just want someone to ask you how you are and really mean it haha
So given the recent power outages I have an idea for an induction based around the brain and electrical signals but Iβm having trouble finding a spiral to go with the idea. Anyone reading this have one handy that might fit the bill?
I think I've made a lot of progress since I finally let go. I held on so tightly that I was afraid I would fall on my ass when I finally put my hands up, but it hasnt happened (yet). I'm still chronically lonely, as one is after ending long-term relationships. But for once in a long time, I'm not under the shadow of feeling like I have to be better or beg for someone to care about me like I do them. Instead, I'm just a person who is realistically in a "start over" phase. It makes sense, given my 20s end in just a few months, and real adulthood has me by the balls. I have to make a lot of changes to be the person I want to be, and over time, I've made a lot of progress. I romanticize who I was before the pandemic and the great social divide because I was more fearless and stubborn. But maybe that's because I was 22 years old, and the world was just starting its total backslide into World War. I think my trust in people has taken a hit, but who knows, maybe the new me will attract friends that like me for me. Bonus points if they dont fake friendship just to get into my pants.