this song was just too beautiful. when he heard the song, he knew this was the one that he wanted to do. the other songs were absolutely amazing, but he felt like this song fit who he was and he wanted to show it.

    he managed to book a stage in K-ARTS to film. he did all the background vocals at home and he had a great outfit. it was just a simple suit since the song was just so beautiful, he wanted to reflect that even in his appearance.

    he was going to sing the song live on the stage and he was going to let the song take the reigns.

    when it was finally time for him to film, he was actually a little nervous. he changed the keys to the song to make it easier and with the fact it was in english also made it a little worrisome. it was such an emotional song with such a deeper meaning, so he just hoped he could do his best.

    as soon as the music started, hwitaek had a calm expression on his face. his voice was soft as he started, delicate even. the beginning of the song was so simple, only to have such a strong energy come as the song continued.

   while singing, he thought of his sister. how he was doing all of this so she could find him. the years he looked for her was met with nothing but hopelessness, but with his love of singing and how big becoming a singer was in korea, he hoped this would be his chance to find her again. 

    he used that raw emotion as he sang, making it clear that no matter what, it would ‘never be enough’ for him. he could have everything - the fame, the fortune, but it wouldn’t mean anything if he never got his sister back.

    as the notes, got higher, he managed to hit them. he practiced day in and day out to make sure he didn’t make a fool of himself. with each high note he hit, he felt his pride swell even more. a look of confidence soon appeared on his face as he went from high note to high note, only to drop to a solemn one when he hit the last soft note.

It’s been a while since she did something like this. Between the responsibilities of being a trainee and a university student, she just can’t seem to find time to really do the things she like. Sure, she gets to rap every now and then in KT, but none of those practice sessions or training ever satisfies her enough. Rap is not a popular skill in the company and thus receives the least amount of attention within coaches and trainees themselves, and it’s all up to her to help herself improve and become better.

Sitting in front of her laptop as she sets up her microphone, she gazes longingly at her long abandoned lyric notebook. Mortality has once again proved to her that she can’t turn back time or make the days longer. Every choice she makes is an opportunity cost, dancing for rapping, university for SoundCloud posts, writing for sleep. If she was asked whether or not she regretted the choices she had made, she’d most likely say no. Yes, she misses rapping all day and performing in front of her seniors, but she doesn’t feel an ounce of regret as she familiarizes herself with new languages and vocabulary.

Looking straight at the camera, she finally greets the viewers of her channel, a subtle smile on her face. “Hi everyone! It’s been a long time hasn’t it? I’ve been busy with high school graduation and university entrance exams. You’d probably know if you follow me on SoundCloud as I posted a track for my graduation a month or two ago.” Her smile widens just a bit at the mention of graduation, a memory that’s still vivid in her mind. Despite her scarce updates, the one she got up to commemorate her enter to adulthood was the one she cherished and looked forward to posting the most. Getting that up made her feel less bad about all the other updates she didn’t do.

“Anyways, I’m now an official SNU student and that’s probably why I still haven’t found the time to do regular updates.” A grin breaks the calm facade she has on, revealing the girl’s trademark smile. “But you all know I can’t stay away from rapping for too long, so here I am, ready to dive back in to my jumbled-up pages of words.” Lifting both arms up, she sends sheets of paper raining down on her, getting scattered all over the floor after gliding through the air for a couple of second.

Video cuts back to her face, this time from a different angle with a proper camera. “Today I’ll be doing Baechigi’s Jolie, but I’m going to make the rap progressively faster. I’ve been trying to improve my LTE lately and I hope this really works, because I’ll be really embarrassed if it doesn’t.” Flashing a smile at the camera, she presses the button on her laptop.

When the beat kicks in, she starts bobbing her head, immersing herself in the song as she prepares to launch her speech. Reminding herself to take it easy, she plays with the pen she has on her hand, twirling it around as a mode to keep her nerves under control. And then, it started.

왜 날 또 속였어 넌 지옥같은 치욕만을 남긴채로 내 등 위에 칼을 꼽고 넌 웃음이 자리잡니? 내쳤어 미쳐서 그래 내가 미쳤어 니 연극에 놀아난 내 지친 몸 가로채간 그 웃음의 댓가 sing it sing it funk that sing it

The first verse is still easy as the rapper breezes through it as if a preparation before the real thing. It does send her chills though, prompting adrenaline to be pumped through her body. Feeling better already, a confident smile regains its spot once again on the girl’s face.

Hours after practice, she would stay out of her house, intentionally practicing in empty parks so she can make up for lost practice time she spent on KT training. Under the night sky, she reads through pages of her notebook, earphone on one ear as the other is left free for her to hear her own voice. Fluid, fast, she has to keep on improving so she doesn’t fall behind her friends that are free to do whatever they want with their rap.

Remaining on normal speed she starts spitting her verses without stopping, facial expression taking cue from the lyrics to draw moods and feelings.

순진한 낯짝에 찢겨진 몸 외쳐도 내쳐도 탁해진 혼 주는대로 믿고 받고 사랑의 바보 스쳐간 발을 멈춘 지극한 순애보 스토커로 몰린 친구의 사랑이 단지 고통만 주는 쓸모없는 사랑니

As the rap soon progresses, the speed picks up and she arrives at the intersection. Letting the words roll out of her mouth, the song hits its second minute, and she takes a bottle of water to drink. Taking a quick gulp, she places it down before the next verse comes, making sure she doesn’t mess up her pronunciation in the middle of a one-take shot. Redoing it from the start will only tire her, and the first take is almost always the best.

Passing the 2.25 mark, she steels herself for what she’s about to do. 1.25 speed. Faster than the already fast rap.

대인기피 가슴 속 안에 깊이 하루하루 그녈 증오하며 살다시피 진짜 정신나간 뽕쟁이처럼 헛소리 욕설을 가득 메운 이 녀석의 입이 정신병원 약봉지 몇 알에 의지해 깜깜한 시간 속에 몇 달을 보냈어 너는 진짜 알아야 돼 영화 속 얘기보다 가능치 못한 일을 니가 저질렀다는걸

Before she can take another deep breath, she has to jump right into the next verse. Lips opening and closing as fast as it can, the girl looks confidently into the camera with fire in her eyes. She’s not going down easy today, and not any other day.

Food for tigers, she thinks. Although speed isn’t everything in rap, it sure is impressive when you can pull it off. Bearing this in mind, she carries on with the words, tens of syllables in a second, pushing through her limits. She can feel her lungs burning and sweat trickling down, but this is food for her. Things that make her stronger, things that make her more than she already is.

3.15 kicks in and she has less than 10 seconds to rest before the fastest leg of the song. 1.5 speed, her tongue is going to fall off. At times like this, she wishes she has Outsider blood in her, but nothing can be done, as she needs to open her mouth again.

funk that jolie 그래 만남과 헤어짐에 있어 그저 내가 사람하나 잘못봤다 생각했어 되먹지 못한 내가 개억지 부린거니 나도 잘한것은 없어 난 아직도 취기가 덜 깬 채 비틀 거리며 그새끼 차에서 나오는 니 모습을 잊지못해 그 모습은 빨간 등불에 병든 그녀들과 다를 바 없었으니깐

Until the end, she doesn’t curse. At least not in English, and not explicitly. By the time the end dawns on her, she’s warm all over, the rush still circulating inside her like blood. Grinning despite her exhaustion, she gazes at the camera happily, the sweat causing her to glisten under the lights.

“That was really fun guys,” her gestures calm down a little, her smile turning into something more mature and controlled, “but it wasn’t easy. I really hope you guys enjoyed it though, that was actually the smoothest one I did so far and way better than my original take months ago. Thank you so much for watching and may you be blessed by this tiger cub. Love you!”