TAE

“ Come on, it’s not like I’m asking for the moon! ” she whined just a little bit as she slightly tried to pull the other person’s arm, an almost emptied bottle on her other hand. Katherine beamed. The improvised party, the people having fun, the alcohol -she wasn’t drunk, but for sure was feeling a bit tipsy-, it all pumped her up; and the moment she had heard the sound of a guitar and an improvised box drum, she simply couldn’t contain herself. “ Just let go and dance with me ” she repeated her previous petition.

Tae scrunched up his nose, letting himself be pulled by her without fighting back. The bottle of alcohol still on his hand as he did so. Taking a moment to finish its content before speaking, Tae dropped the now empty bottle on the ground, his hands moving to pull back the hair on his eyes. “You might as well be.” he countered, glancing around at all the people who would be seeing him dance if he did so. “You’re asking a lot of me.”

- Jiyeon nodded her head in agreement. Though it wasn’t because she had missed alcohol nor liked the taste of it as much as she liked it on sweet drinks but it was what it brought with it, the feeling of normality it gave, after all most of them were still kids just they had to grow up faster and in different way they thought before the outbreak. “Oh no, I’ve always been lightweight now what will be of me if you became lightweight?” She spoke widening her eyes on a playful way before chuckling.

Tae opened his arms, too fast, which in turn caused his drink to nearly spill. Which cause him to laugh, far too much. “That just means you get to feel relaxed with just a sip.” he countered, smiling at her. “Come on, Jiyeon. Get loose.” he offered her a drink, looking at her hopefully. “Tonight, nobody is left sober.” Tae raised a hand a second later, “Except for the kids. And guards.”

              they are just a figure of themselves that they trace in the dark   ,    the night air has set in. the world is spinning   &.     is not as light as their breath telling themselves not to care.     ❝   it really is the best    ,    shoulda saved some though. shits the best painkiller.   ❞    their face is delicate only with a lot of work   &.    their eyes are dull    ,    glazed over with intoxication as their fingers hold onto the bottle of rum that was nearly empty. the back of their throat burns from the liquor    &.      they are warm     ,    cheeks flushed.     ❝   its nice to see you relax     ,    i dont think im not that drunk.     ❞   their words are giggles    ,    beautifully crafted they are not. but the way the night paints them   ,   sculpts them   ,   writes them in the stars. that is how they is trying to make himself.  

Tae patted the other’s shoulder, smiling with his eyes closed. “We still have some saved up. Don’t worry about it.” finally, after having said all that, his eyes opened again, looking at them. He took another sip of the drink, enjoying how it relaxed him. “It’s nice to have a day off.” he announced. Being a leader seemed to be a job that takes up all his time. Finally he was able to relax. “Sure, and I’m santa.” he poked the other’s shoulder, laughing way too much.

                sumin couldn’t help but laugh at the leader’s words. she can’t even remember the last time she has drank alcohol, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to get herself drunk, not when those zombies are still on the loose. it’s not like she doesn’t trust the other guards — a part of her just feels like she needs to watch over them too, and she can’t do that if she ends up getting wasted like everyone else. sumin has only taken small sips from her bottle at this point, so it’s safe to say that she’s still pretty much sober compared to taeyeon. “are you sure you’re not a lightweight to begin with?” she asks, tone playful.

Tae furrowed his eyebrows looking at her before looking back at his drink. He was trying to read how much alcohol it had but gave up after a few seconds. “Maybe this is just strong.” he offered as an excuse. Taking a big sip again, he smiled at her. “Are you enjoying this? We thought it would help reduce all the stress.” he pointed at his body as if stress was something visible. Moving to be closer to her, he offered the girl a another smile.

          TAKING A SIP, he feels the effects right away. “you know, i’ve never had alcohol before.” being from america, he could not drink until turning twenty-one. danny, though, never got the chance to turn twenty-one and party for his birthday in the states because by then the outbreak occurred, and he was in south korea—having traveled to the country at twenty. thus, he never got the chance to try it beforehand, not until today. “so, cheers!” he speaks excitedly, clinking bottles with the leader. another swig, but eyes squinting from the taste. “if i keep drinking, i’ll like the taste more, right? please say yes.”

Tae stares at him for a few seconds, his eyes slightly wide open in shock. “This is your first time?” he asked, too loudly unlike what he had meant to do. Of course, it had been three years since it all went down, so it shouldn’t be too surprising that a few of them hadn’t tried many things that were common back then. “I can tell you that if you keep drinking, you won’t care about the taste anymore.” he stated, taking a big sip of his own drink right after.

Stress relieving and distractions, that was all they had. It was easy, and it was fair, and no one was going to regret it that way. “ I see. But it wouldn’t be fair for me to take all the merit, you’ve been pretty good at it too ”. She still remembered how it all started. The first time they had blamed it on the alcohol, that very same day some supply runners had stomp with a cellar and the celebration that came afterwards -it was good that at least for a night the group could indulge a bit- ended so many weeks of tension. The second time they had blamed it on the despair, a raid had gone too wrong and cost them two lives, sadness and need of consolation had clouded their minds. The third time… that had been labeled an accident, a night too cold, a search for warmth. When the fourth time came, they simply stopped looking for excuses.

She watched him turn his gaze to her, with that look he had been giving Kitty since the very beginning. She liked it. It was a look that quietly said i think you are beautiful, without the need of words. Not that those hadn’t been told before, but they mostly let their actions do the speaking. “ Oh yes, I can, I have no trouble admitting that. Besides, you’ve been quite busy these weeks ”, she acknowledged, the last sentence repeating what she had already told him minutes ago only now with a different meaning. She had missed him, that was what she meant, but she couldn’t speak it that way, those were words too easy to misinterpret and no one wanted that to happen. “ But I am supposed to let you rest, Tae, not to tire you more ”, she whispered with just the right amount of playfulness, and yet it also sounded almost innocent, an amused smirk turning up her lips as she traced his hand absently.

For some reason hearing that from her made him feel good. Of course, he was sure that it would make him feel good regardless of who said it. It wasn’t as if he cared about her opinion in particular. “I guess it must have been our excellent team work.” he added, clearly making a joke out of it. He didn’t know how they got to this point. Maybe because he kept avoiding thinking too much about it. But he remembers the tension before it all happened and they started to sleep together. And then how neither of them stopped it from continuing on happening. Instead it almost feels like it has become part of their routine. Every once in a while they find each other and it just happens. And they never really discuss what it means. Because of course it doesn’t have a meaning. Why would it?

It was true, he had been so stressed and focused on everything going on with them all forming one group that he had mostly been either working or sleeping. Which meant not seeing her. There had been several times he would finish what he was doing in the middle of the night and felt tempted to go to where she had been staying. But he hadn’t. That could easily make anyone who saw him, think the wrong thing. Besides, it would make him seem needy and like he missed her. And he did, but not in the way it could be taken as. “I should make more time to relieve my stress.” he states, smiling at her. It clearly meant he should make more time for her, but he wouldn’t say that. “I don’t think I could sleep with all this stress.” he said, trying to sound serious but his smile betraying him. “I think that I need you.” his hand moved to shirt, tugging it lightly.

Jaehwa could only nod in agreement to the statement, not nearly as offended as she should be. They were one and the same, bearing the same attitude toward their own leadership style. Sometimes it was hard to tell that they weren’t blood related siblings, their thoughts and actions far too similar to be distinguished. A proud smile settled across the younger’s lips in response to the praise, even if she hadn’t done much more than give a vague pep talk. It had helped, and therefore she played some sort of role in solving this issue. And that was always a good feeling. She offered a reassuring nod in Tae’s direction. Even if a positive future was unlikely, it was a nice thought. And they had to keep telling themselves that they were working towards something. Something bigger. Something more than just their own survival. “If anyone can do it, we can, yeah? We’ve got a good group of people here, and y’know… I’m hopeful that one day all of the kids here will grow up and be able to live an easy life. That’s the goal.”

Tae smiled but soon that smile turned into chuckling. He liked that she was being positive but it was also funny that she would say such thing. Considering everything, it was almost a joke to expect them to ever win. “Alright, we’re crossing into too lame and too unrealistic territory. Let’s not do that.” he stated, placing his arm over her shoulders. “So, how have you been dealing with all this?” he questioned, as they made their way to get something to eat. His eyes wandering around, looking at all the faces that he started to recognize. “Are you ready to find someone, have a kid and do all that domestic stuff? Just like them.” he teased, gesturing towards a couple and their kid. Before that would have never been possible, but now he supposes it is.

                it has been three years since the outbreak happened and while things do get better for them, they never last long enough. she believes it’s a miracle that they are still alive to this day, but life is about to get harder for them it seems, knowing that they’re beginning to run out of supplies now that they have joined forces with the kingdom. sooner or later they might not be able to find anything else left in the town, and this is when sumin realizes that it’s better for them to keep moving from one place to another, just like what they’ve been doing all this time before deciding to settle down here with the kingdom. it’s not a bad choice, but it’s not the best either if she was to be honest. maybe she could be wrong, maybe she’s just too used to being a nomad to even stay in the same place for a longer time, but where’s the harm in trying? who knows if all they need is just a permanent home like this one? maybe they’re about to find out.

                all that she knows now is that taeyeon is doing a great job as the wings’ leader, like he always does, and she could only respect his decision (and of course the rest of the group too) to merge with the kingdom, knowing that they could help each other to figure out what they can do to get through this new life together. “i’m bad at coming up with ideas,” she starts, keeping her eyes on taeyeon. “but you probably need a goddamn break.” sumin just repeats what he says, that’s right. “a little break won’t hurt, tae. after all you deserve it,” she tells him, nodding reassuringly. sumin knows she’s not the best when it comes to giving out motivating words or anything like that, but she can tell when someone needs to cool down a bit and will make sure they do it, so maybe that’s what she’s doing. “just take a rest for a while, alright? we’ll figure something out when you feel better again,” she suggests, hoping he would listen.

Tae looks at her, focusing on her words before sighing and dropping the map. “I admit defeat. For the time being.” he stated, his hands on his face before he looks at her again. “Okay, I’ll get back to it tomorrow. Maybe then I can figure out what we should do about this.” He knew that resting was his best chance to find the solution to the problem, considering how right now he could barely think straight. “I wish we could all just take a break. Go on vacation. Just relax.” he admits, sighing once more. After the outbreak every day was tough. There wasn’t a day when they could just relax, have fun and not think about their problems or what is going on. Even when he tried to have fun, he kept being reminded of their reality. “How about you? Are you going to rest?” he questioned, curiously. He knew that he had a lot of responsibility but so did everyone else. One person does their job wrong and what they have here could collapse. Not to mention they were all overworked most days. “You should rest.”

Katherine’s expression softened when he finally agreed to her arguments. He was usually sure and confident, he had to due to the responsibility, but it was at moments like this that she could notice how big of a toll that took. And that worried her, in a way that sometimes make her question. But she was also constantly worried about all the group, she had grown to care about them, so it only made sense that she was worried about him too for the same reason. “ That’s true, but just remember there’s only so much you can take by yourself ”, she noted. Her heart skipped a beat at his reply, for the surprise of course, she hadn’t expected such an adamant comeback from him.“ Ok, I won’t argue you on that ”. Now it was her turn to agree with Tae’s words, the conviction he had said them making her want to believe in them. It wasn’t that she had low self-steam, Kitty knew her own worth, but being objective there were people with more useful knowledge and talents. “ I guess I’m not bad at looking for things or caring for people? ”, she considered, still the shadow of her previous joke in that answer. She laughed at him falling into the bed and lay down by his side, ignoring the discomfort the floor offered. She still hadn’t get used to that, even if three years had passed. Elbows slightly carrying her weight up, she watched him for a short moment. The tired expression was now more noticeable. “ That migraine must be really painful, because usually by now your hands would already be all over my body ” she couldn’t help but comment, a light chuckle leaving her lips.

He had never meant to lead, somehow it had just happened and sometimes it was fun but other times it was a big headache. But after so long, he felt responsible for these people so he wasn’t going to simply give up. He would just take some time to rest so he can be at the top of his game the next day and find a solution to the problem. “I’m not by myself. There’s other people leading us all. I’m only one of them.” he knew what she meant though, but he would rather act like it was fine. He couldn’t help but smile while raising his eyebrows at her, almost teasingly since she didn’t argue back. “You’ve been pretty good at taking away my stress.” he stated, obviously referring to the times they had slept together. His smile now growing into a cheeky smirk. His eyes focused on her, staring back as she watched him. He had to admit, he hadn’t got tired of looking at her. Even after years, he still thought she was attractive. And that’s why he kept sleeping with her. Not for any other reason. Tae chuckled as well, shaking his head at her comment. “You can just tell me that you want my hands all over your body.” he announced, turning to face her.

In Arin’s eyes she had one of the easiest and least demanding job compared to others, true she had to teach kids and teens (and those sometimes were a mess to try and get along with) but it was definitely easier than the rest and so Arin used her free time to be as productive as others volunteering to help around and make their lives a little bit easier with anything she could do. And so Arin found herself taking food to the ones who had missed dinner, after a couple of stops for the patrols she made her way toward the place Tae was.

Knocking gently the girl offered him a smile while showing him the warm food that she had brought before letting herself in being as quietly as possible yet she was listening carefully to his words as she set the food tray down only speaking as he commented of his migraine. “Should I go and ask Haneul for a remedy for that?” She offered as she finished placing the food on the table, looking up to him with a smile on her face “A break is what you need, give your brain some time to cool off and then new ideas will come” Arin spoke while offering him a pair of chopsticks “In the meantime eat something while it’s still warm”

Tae had completely overlooked the time. One moment the sun was setting and another it was past dinner time. He had been so caught up in the problems at hand that he hadn’t even noticed how late it was. Until the girl knocked on the door, carrying his food. That’s when he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion until he looked at the window and noticed how dark it was outside, only the candle light making anything visible. “Did I miss dinner?” he asked, although he knew the answer to that. Looking at the food tray she placed in front of him, Tae smiled at her. “Thanks. You didn’t have to bother.” At her question, the boy looked up at her, shaking his head in response. “It’s okay. I don’t want to use painkillers on something so insignificant.” he stated. Taking the chopsticks she handed him, his mouth grew into a smile. She had always been so nice and it did make him notice her, for whatever reason. It was as if everything was so dark nowadays that having this person who was so bright and good almost seemed unreal. “You’re right. I’ll look at it again in the morning when I’m feeling better. Thank you, for the food.” he said, wondering if she would walk away now that her task was done with. “Have you eaten?”

“Because you have no regard for your own personal well-being?” she quipped, shrugging her shoulders once. It was a joke, really, yet an all-too-real statement which could be applied to both of them easily. More likely the reason was something like ‘their people trusted them’ or ‘their instincts had gotten them pretty far’, but the fact that they both put their people’s needs above their own had to be of significance as well. Jaehwa raised her eyebrows at her leader’s sudden announcement, sending an expectant glance in his direction. “Y’know, it was more of a pep talk than an actual productive train of thought, but I’m glad you got something out of it.” The younger flinched overdramatically away from the kiss that was placed on her cheek, wiping jokingly at the patch of skin with the end of her jacket sleeve as if it were dirty. Still, the old tradition brought a smile to her face. “That’s what it feels like,” Jaehwa agreed easily, leaving a moment of silence in between for the people they’d lost along the way. The death count took a toll on her more than she’d like to admit. “But I think they’d be proud of us if they knew we were still surviving. I’d hope so.”

“Says the one leading with me. You’re my right hand for a reason.” He responded back, giving her a smile that clearly showed he was joking as well. To be fair, most of their group tended to be reckless at times. And yes, he was a repeating offender. But in his defense, Tae didn’t value is life much. He was thought everyone else was better than him. Not to say that he hated himself, or that he wasn’t confident. But everyone else seemed to have people and an actual future. Even now, he felt like it would be worth it to trade his life for his people’s. “Whatever it was, it worked. Good job, right hand.” he patted her shoulder, smiling. Rolling his eyes at her reaction to his kiss, even if he already knew it was coming. It was nice that despite everything changing, he had someone from his past with him. It comforted him. He walked in silence for a moment as well, thinking about all those they had lost. “I hope so too.” his words must have been barely audible, his mind thinking of his adoptive parents. “I hope that we can beat this and create something that lasts. Maybe what we create here can lead to people overtaking them one day.” Unlikely, but maybe if he said it enough times, he would start to believe it.

“We always do,” she echoed back easily, punctuating the statement with a nod of her head. Because it was true, they’d survived thus far on instinct and sheer luck. If the universe could align to save them back then, it could sure as hell do so now. Were they in over their head? Probably. Almost definitely. The fact that these people trusted them to make good decisions in the first place was an absolute miracle, and Jae couldn’t even imagine the pressure the older of the two was under as the leader. Because he was the one with the final say, and every misstep they take would fall on his shoulders. “I don’t think you made things worse, it’s just… a lot to get used to, y’know? We’re nomads, we’re used packing up and relocating every time there’s a problem. We don’t make solutions like they do, we go out into the world and find them. It’s just something different.” And that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. She knew that many of the Wings’s people felt relieved at the opportunity to settle down. They were exhausted by the nomadic lifestyle and Jaehwa couldn’t blame them. The younger smiled back, following him through the door without hesitation. “God, me too. Today’s been absolutely exhausting.”

She was right. The problem was that he was used to make decisions by choosing where to go next while now he would have to consider how to fix the issue without moving. Something he was not used to. “Remind me why I became the leader?” he questioned, sighing. He had never lead anything. In school he was never even picked for anything, much less to make decisions. “We need a power.” he announced, smiling brightly as his mind clicked. “Before I tell you what I’m thinking, just know your ‘make solutions’ speech was very inspiring. And also, I will tell you my idea some other time because I do need to think about how possible it is to make it happen.” he stated, quickly kissing her cheek as a thank you. A gesture that started back when they were young as something he would do whenever she had his back. “Isn’t that every day? I feel like days got longer the more people died.”