There Is No Such Thing As A Real Name

she's a 10 but she wants to stab me so that makes her an 11

you need to be more normal about fwb. no, fwb don’t strip you of your dignity. they are not unhealthy. sexual relationships are not bad. it’s not weird to want them and not romance. friends can fuck. you don’t have to be involved romantically to be intimate with someone. that includes all sorts of physical touch because you are also not normal about platonic non-sexual touch. it’s not weird if friends cuddle, sleep in one bed, hold hands or kiss. friends can be affectionate with each other. it doesn’t mean they are romantically attracted to each other. nor does it mean they will ever be in a romantic relationship. you need to be more normal about touch and sex in general.

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

AGH MY BABY IM CRINE

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.