taami ˚₊‧‎♡

Computer show me men in agonizing pain crying and writhing on the ground with very obvious hard ons

So since the fandom has come the the (correct) conclusion that Samwise Gamgee is the absolute height of hobbit attractiveness standards, it only follows logically that hobbits see Sam working for Frodo as the middle earth equivalent of your weird eccentric rich neighbor having a hot pool boy. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Oh you’re a Tolkien expert? have u read letter 420 in which he described how much Sam loved eating Frodos ass on the daily? In the professors own words, he “devoured that hole like a jelly roll. that was basically Sam’s second breakfast the entire time they were in the undying lands, lulz (sic)” (letter to Tolkien’s publisher, 1969)