Dr. Pepper Doge

aphantasia is the lack of skill to imagine things visually in your mind. basically no mental images can be visualized.

it’s really hard to describe what it feels like trying to imagine something with a brain that can’t imagine things. i’m not sure if this is similar to others who share this life experience, but for me it is like trying to birth an image out of a black vast desert of nothing.

i personally can get a really quick mental and emotional impression of a .. kind of banana but that’s it - it disappears as quick as it appeared. i can’t visualize the banana as a real thing that i can look at and .. i don’t know how regular skilled people really see things in their mind, but i guess it works better than that, haha.

for a whole bunch of time i’ve asked myself why it is so frikkin hard for me to lay down and do a nice visual meditation in which i close my eyes and visit different worlds and see beautiful things.. and just.. have this experience that everyone is talking about when they go off to meditation land.

but some short time ago, i’ve realized this condition is a thing and i have it and now i’d like to share this “imaginative disability” with you - to maybe make one or the other realize what’s “wrong with them” and why they are having such a hard time with some visual matters, just like me.

Every Samhain my mother leaves a plate of food outside. She says that the ancestors come in the form of raccoons to eat it. When I was little I of course wholeheartedly believe this. Now I think we probably just have a lot of raccoons in the neighboorhood, but that understanding doesn’t detract from the tradition. Suspending my disbelief for just one night to think that the animals I see wandering about are visiting spirits makes Samhain a hell of a lot more spooky and mystical then it would be otherwise. I wouldn’t want to do it any other way.

We don’t touch the garden between Samhain and Yule. The explanation given for this is that anything left outside during this time is food for the fairies and taking it angers them. As I’ve gotten older and learned more about gardening I’ve realized that this is probably an explanation for why we need to let the soil rest, and I certainly don’t think picking a plant in early December is going to cause me any harm, but don’t pick the plants anyways. Leaving the garden alone during the cold months makes tending to the plants that much more enjoyable and special during the hot months, and if my reasoning for why I can’t harvest that very last squash of the fall is fairies then that’s my own business.

Sometimes when I go down to the beach I find strange or out of place things. My explanation for these things is always selkies. In the back of my mind, I’m always aware that there’s probably a much more logical and reasonable explanation for whatever I’m seeing but those reasons usually aren’t quite as interesting, so I say that it’s selkies. And that’s fun. I feel like there’s some unspoken rule that after a certain age you’re not allowed to try and believe the things you’ve imagined, no matter how inconsequential and silly those things are and honestly, that’s boring, I’m not a fan.

The point here is that not all of the things we do in the name of our spirituality and faith need to be serious or even well thought out. Clearly, if you’re doing a ritual or a spell that’s one thing, but there are other fun little ways to make your spirituality more magical and wondrous that are less about what’s actually happening and more about the suspension of disbelief. And those things are wonderful and fun, and they add a little bit of joy to your life.

Real Overwatch Fact #196:

Give me mechanic McCree, who used to ride and repair motorcycles. Who knows the inner workings of a variety of Omnic builds and can do quick on site fixes to their Omnic/cyborg companions. He knows how to fix, and drive just about any vehicle he comes across, both due to the pressure to learn back in Deadlock, and the education he received in Blackwatch. 

Give me a McCree who’s Deadeye isn’t some supernatural ability he was born with, or just wicked stupid luck, but precisely calculated and practiced moves. Who’s so good at following his target with hand eye coordination, and taking in the wind and angle factors into firing, along with the recoil from his gun and where he needs to hold and fire, that he can take down six enemies in a second. 

Give me a McCree who knows guns inside and out. How to disassemble and reassemble them in seconds, and can use a variety of weapons with ease. Who’s not just a sharpshooter with his peacekeeper, but can rival Widow and Hanzo with a sniper rifle or bow. Who can pick up any teammate’s weapon and use it to help get them out of the pickle they found themselves in. A McCree who would hands down grab Mercy’s staff and get to fucking work helping his team while she’s down. 

Give me a McCree who used to work with horses back on his family’s ranch, and knows how to ride professionally. He has such steady footing you can find him strolling across a floating log in in a river. He knows how animals think and work, and how to take care of them.

Give me a McCree who used to work for tips at the diner down in Route 66 on his off time, who knows how to cook a damn good meal on nothing but scraps and a quarter. Who understands not everyone has the same taste as him and can adjust his recipes as needed so everyone’s happy. 

Give me a McCree who’s an actual covert ops agent, who can get through the busiest bases, and flank without a damn sound. Who, back in Blackwatch, they had to give him a pair of spurs so he’d stop sneaking up on everyone because of how silent he became during training. Who’s accuracy in taking down enemies from the inside reflects Reyes’ standards for his agents. That he’s not just a hothead who goes in howling, that he’s the top dog they trained him to be. 

me: