TIME AFTER TIME /*

@synchronzed ★ sent: ‘ just be yourself, sera. that's all i want. ’

oh, sera's about five minutes from staying home. honey-hair is still rolled in sectioned barrels, pinned to her scalp in a way that's maybe a little too tight. half-dressed and half-bent into her luggage, she knew she should've brought another! knees are rug-burnt from the half hour she's been pressed into the shitty shag of the motel rug, and her promise to jason to be ready to leave is about to turn into a tiny white lie. ‘ i am being myself, jay. ’ a huff. frustrated hands come up empty after digging, slapping against the milk of her thighs. then, quieter: deprecatingly. ‘ that's like.. literally the problem. ’

but an angel never lies! not even tiny white ones! not even when sera feels less like her usual angel-self and more like.. well, whatever someone becomes when they slowly begin to realize there isn't much beneath moisturized skin. just flesh and bone: ugly and wet and brittle.. seraphina clears her throat, torquing halfway to look back at jason standing by the door. is there an expectation he'll rush her? surely. chop-chop, snap-snap. but he doesn't. angeleyes look back down at the scattered clothes haloing around her kneel. ruffles and frills and pink, lots of pink. an outfit is in there somewhere: something sera. wholly herself. that's what jason wants, and his opinion has never been unkindly to her.

"hey no, that's like never the problem." he isn't being nice just to be nice, he knows her. on some weird level it's come to that between them, and jason never really notice when but he can see sera's face the true one not the one she puts on. he carries that with him so she doesn't look back. his eyes light up when she picks out a dress, and he's still looking at her.

woah. he raises both his eyebrows. "-i mean if you like it i love it. and. i mean it, don't want you to think i'm just agreeing with you to agree with you. yellow s'like a great color. in general. but on you also." and he notices how the dress makes her blue eyes pop. glisten, he gets a little shy with his own thoughts. blushes when he catches himself in the middle of it. rubs the back of his neck. fingers on his drumming to take away the slight sensation of being too much, reacting too much.

…good morning.

…goodnight.

…goodbye.

…where it hurts.

…where it doesn’t hurt.

…on a falling tear.

…to shut them up.

…in secrecy.

…in public.

…desperately.

…in joy.

…in grief.

…discreetly.

…casually.

…passionately.

…lazily.

…to distract.

…as encouragement.

…for luck.

…on a scar.

…on a place of insecurity.

…in a rush of adrenaline.

…in relief.

…in danger.

…as a ‘yes’.

…as an apology.

…as a suggestion.

…as a lie.

…as a promise.

…as comfort.

…after a small rejection.

…to wake yours up.

…forcefully.

…to pretend.

…to gain something.

…to give up control.

…without a motive.

…because yours is running out of time.

…because mine is.

…because the world is ending.

…because the world is saved.

…out of pride.

…out of greed.

…out of lust.

…out of anger.

…out of envy or jealousy.

…out of spite.

…out of habit.

…out of necessity.

people are only nice if they want something from you. she rarely flashes a smile without tying an invisible string to it . . . a trip wire for future use. but she isn't selling a fantasy right now, nor was she doing so earlier when they talked out of the corners of their mouths for a few minutes. all calamity wants from him is to know what he wants from her.

he's got a funny way about him. when he talks, he doesn't quite make sense. she supposes they have that in common. calamity likes to make people feel dizzy, and his answer sets her head to spinning for a mere second. it's easy enough to brush past, especially after he turns the conversation around on its head ― onto her.

❝   if i told you, i wouldn't be able to run there anymore.  ❞           never let them know your next move or whatever. she carefully follows his gaze to blossom, which triggers a small smile on her face. [ god she loves that little bugger. ] with her free hand, she gives the gecko's head a soft pat - pat. ❝   doesn't matter where i'm goin' anyway, 'cause i'm here now. and so is blossom. you wanna say hi to her ?  ❞

"oh okay." it makes him smile, because it's not easy. and while sometimes he wishes it was then maybe it wouldn't be like this. with the humid air hitting his face and the swirls of smoke around them. "here isn't too bad, like i don't know it could always be shittier." at some point there was nothing but dirt, there's this place now for another like twenty years or so.

"blossom." jason tries to shake off the nervousness. he smiles with it. looks at her then at blossom, trusting. always trusting. it's fine. he takes a hand out of a pocket before holding it out to the small creature. "-hi blossom." talks to her like he talks to anything else, a soft chilled out voice. and he lingers, holds out a curled finger, expecting a bite. "she's cute. um. is she always with you?" it's a quiet thing, the way he's asking, like maybe he's asking more than just that. heart too big, it doesn't fit sometimes. and he thinks, looking at calamity with attention, secretly hoping that this is one of those long drawn out times, where their paths are tangled up and he can't see the exit ride sign just yet. he can't tell, it's too damn early. but he hopes.