Barely Alive

Yeah, I don’t think the word cherry is going to ever mean the same thing to me anymore.

Glad to be of service.. You’ll definitely have to come out with me again, like I said, this time you need to be able to see the make up go on, before it comes off.

The shoe definitely fits, you’re right. Ever time I hear it, I’m going to be reminded of last night so I think I’m okay with it.

Good, I guessed the right size then.. Glad it was memorable enough to stain the word for you..

Is that your nickname for me now?

I mean.. does the shoe fit..? I think it definitely does.. So I’m gonna go with yes.. Don’t like it? Or is it one of those names that’s going to ..remind you every time you hear it..

It feels so weird to be someplace new with almost no friends. Who am I supposed to get drunk with? Who am I supposed to go get food with at 2 am?

You know theres always room at my table for my cherry.

You are too kind. I’ve got the funds, I’m just glad you have the time and fashion sense. I always end up looking like a grandma, so any help is much appreciated. 

Oh pfff.. I know htere are some people who would beg to disagree that I’m kind.. But you know, I really reall appreciate that. It means a lot to me, even over something so small. I majored in Fashion Design, have my own label, and I was working for Dolls Kill before my daughter was born, so I’m definitely going to take you through their inventory, I’m still on good terms with them as I gave them the reason as to why I can’t work there, The girls said they’d back me if I wanted to open my own boutique, so I’m like.. 110 percent sure they’ll let me come and get you some clothes from there.. And since you have the funds, I’m going to set you up with some really hot fashion, especially this really gorgeous white faux fur coat, with rainbow lights sewn in.. It’s seriously the rage, and it’ll look adorable on you. For another night maybe, but totally cute for like a date night I think..

I’ll do your hair and makeup too, I’ve got loads of time, trust me. Tonight is my friends night to watch my daughter so.. we’re setting lazers to fucking stunning.

I definitely like parties, I’m just normally holed up in the art building so I don’t get out much. I’ll be your canvas! Do your worst. But you’ll have to take me shopping, because there is definitely nothing I think you’ll consider party attire in my closet. 

Oh.. I will.. thank you..for trusting me to enhance your natural beauty. You’re already hella pretty so it shouldn’t be hard at all. We’ll fix that, I don’t have money of my own to spend though so if you got the cash allowance to shop, then I’ll definitely be increasing your wardrobe by a couple interchangable party outfits.

No need to apologize. It’s rare anyone’s even heard of the place. Bit of a hole in the wall town even though it’s the second largest in Northern Ireland. Club ready? You say that as if I’ve actually been out to a club.

Oh my god, that makes perfect sense, of course you wouldn’t know what club ready is.. Girl we are gonna have some fun. Well I mean if large..rowdy, flashy get togethers is your thing.. God. This is hella exciting. Ok did you want to go out before the event, and like.. I can help you pick something out? 

I’m honestly very excited for this. I don’t really know what I’m expecting? All I know about drag is from the one episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race I watched out of curiosity.

I absolutely love the name Blake for a girl too. Blake Lively is gorgeous - I don’t really understand how one human can be that stunning. Yeah, alright, sounds like a plan! As long as there’s food involved, I’m definitely in.

Well then we’ll just work with the pre-req’s and if you end up with a BJ or getting laid on my watch, then we’ll count it as a bonus, haha! One.. just ONE episode? 

Good, we’re in agreement. This will make everything so much easier haha. Food and babies. And movies. It’s gonna be fantastic. I’m so ready to pop your Drag virginity. 

Nope, I’ve never kissed a drag queen either. I don’t know the first thing about drag, so it’s definitely going to be a whole new thing for me. I’m excited though, I’m always open for new experiences and hey, maybe after tonight I’ll be able to say I’ve kissed a drag queen and I can officially be a gay boy. Aw, well that’s really sweet that you named her after two people you care about. Julia Blake Sinclair does sound just right, I agree.

Yeah..? She sounds adorable, and I totally have a soft spot for kids. That sounds like it could be fun.

Well looks like you’re about to have a lot of firsts. Cute guy like you is probably gonna get eaten up at a drag show..  What sort of expectations do you have, like lets make you a list, things we can check off for you while you’re here. 

Yeah..they mean the world to me. Julia Blake really agrees with her I think. Like the actress Blake Lively.. gorgeous woman.. I just love it. It’s super catchy for a girl. Alright then, it’s settled, you’ll come back with us, okay? We’ll get some food and camp out. And you can meet my JB Bean.

Well, I still haven’t had that right of passage yet so I guess I’m not an “official” gay boy yet, am I? That’s a beautiful name, she must be absolutely adorable.

I guess you aren’t, you’ve also never kissed a drag queen then I take it. Boy, you are definitely in for something special tonight huh? Hahaha. ..Well thank you, She’s named after my late sister, and my ..best friend- when we though he was going to leave us due to an illness.. So I just.. I wanted to be able to remember them, and give her something to be proud of, and voila.. Julia Blake.. Well.. her mother decided to add Barrianna, but I opt not to call her that, as her mother disliked having a million names on her own name? So, I’m not gonna tack on an extra one to my daughter. Julia Blake Barrianna Sinclair is just too much. Julia Blake Sinclair sounds just right. 

You’re definitely allowed to meet her some time .. if you like. I head back to my hotel after shows, where my drag sister is watching her when she’s not performing, if you wanna come back with me.

Oh, god, yeah I think anything is better than a van covered in dicks. Yeah, Seattle, haha. I don’t know, I just never thought to go to one, I guess. I would’ve had to go alone since none of my friend were really into that sort of stuff, or at least I don’t think they were. Oh, you have a kid? How old are they? 

Dick covered van is not my first ride of style, lets be real, hahaha. To bad I didn’t grow up in Seattle, or wasn’t there, I would have taken you out with me. Every little gay boy..has to go to a drag show, it’s like a right of passage, trust. Yeah.. Julia Blake, she’s 2 months old.. 

Now I’m confused, how’d you end up with her? You won’t be the first fucked up parent to raise a kid, man. It happens every day and sometime the kid comes out just fine - don’t sell yourself short before you’ve even tried. Woogie woo - okay then.  Hey no worries, sometimes you just need to vent, yeah?

Drunken night.. High off my ass, was flirting with my friend and I’d never slept with a girl so ..that ..went down and apparently the condom broke. Was definitely not something I ever wanted to do again, anddd..it resulted in my daughter. 

I don’t know.. I just don’t want to take the chance that I ruin my daughters life.. Woogie woo is my term for baby talk..I think it sounds funnier..

Ha. Not much in Derry, Northern Ireland, love. We’re lucky we had a queer bar to go to. Shit’s a lot different here for sure. But I’m excited. What kind of place is this? Do I need to get fancy or is it more casual. 

Oh my god.. Derry? I feel so fucking cool right now, because I actually know a song called “ Back home in Derry “ - I’m sorry that’s so fucking lame, but I just got excited. Really? ..Wow, I couldn’t imagine no drag, well actually yes I could, but I would have no job, and no way to take care of my daughter in that case haha. Fever? It’s .. I mean it’s California, so just come club ready is all. Lots of pretty girls, lots of pretty boys.. It’s not like Ele-gaunt, but it’s definitely like party wear..

That doesn’t sound totally lame, I’m sure it looks cool! Better than having it be totally boring, at least now it’s unique. Yeah, I just transferred here from Seattle. Are you? 

Well.. I mean it was painted totally black and glossed, so it’s better than her fucking idea to paint huge hairy dicks on it. I had to beg her not to.. Seattle? Wow- I fucking love Seattle, how could you seriously be in Seattle and never ever go to a drag show? You poor thing.. Student here..? Ah.. used to.. until I had a kid and my career both came and went.