my stories, art, and writing may contain content that is not suitable for a large audience.
my content largely centers around mental health, trauma, psychological horror, and other heavy topics that may not be suitable for a young audience. these heavier posts will have content warnings for the relevant topics.
please dm me if i have forgotten to add content warnings to my post.
i do not write Real Person Fanfiction (RPF). all my content in the krew/yhs space is based on their roleplay characters, not the creators themselves.
Kat La ≠ YHS/MA Funneh ≠ Edmund Fae.
❧ about me. 𖥔 ݁ ˖.☘︎ ݁˖.
⤹ they/them/theirs is preferred. i also use "one" as a pronoun when talking about myself. ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ⋆.ೃ࿔
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no one's allowed to make fun of the logo bc i think its cute. thank you. /nsrs
this writing is very informal and just me telling you what would/could happen in this au. this post is part 5—part 1 is here and has all the prior context, i implore you to read that first since i won't be explaining the context here. also, theres a poll at the end of this post, please vote on it if you'd like me to continue~
⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️
this part may contain: non-religious based witchcraftian stuff, mentions of murder, mentions of suicide, and unsolved missing persons cases.
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funneh, rainbow, and gold meet up with evan and kyran at the sushi place and greet each other. kyran asks about rainbow, and rainbow introduces herself--having recently moved into the nearby neighborhood with funneh, lunar, and gold. gold decides to get them sat down and after squishing into a booth together, orders a bit of food.
funneh explains that theres something she and gold need to tell kyran and evan, which is why they called, other than wanting to hang out with them. kyran tells them to go on and gold explains she's pretty sure they've been mistaking funneh and herself for other people. gold says that they're new in town and they haven't lived here before---whoever the funneh and gold kyran and evan knew are gone.
evan asks if this is some sort of elaborate joke and funneh admits she's not lying and shows evan a picture of herself and gold a year before at some remote island. funneh tells him and kyran that they didi some digging and found out that the people they knew are probably in canada right now and dropped out.
funneh says she only found out because alec told her that other funneh was his girlfriend and rainbow interjects saying lunar said they broke up like. today. funneh is surprised and evan immediately starts trying to get gossip out of her. funneh asks evan how he knows other funneh and evan admits they were friends, and he was kind of into her. she never properly confirmed to him if she was taken or in a situationship though.
kyran decides to introduce himself properly to them and apologizes for not realizing sooner. rainbow decides to ask how well kyran knew them and kyran says he and the girls were very close friends, and he let them stay in his dorm during their first year after their stuff got REPOed. he knew there was something weird going on since they kind of stopped inviting him places but simply assumed that they were still reeling from what happened the other day.
kyran awkwardly admits that it's kind of weird talking to rainbow because she looks so much like a late friend of his named Valerie Maki. she died in a dorm fire in their first year, and they were really shaken up because they were camping and they 'hallucinated' what valerie's dorm fire looked like from the inside.
funneh asks if he knows anything else about valerie, like who her killer is or something, and kyran admits he was told that it was Kai's best friend, James, who killed valerie but he doesn't believe it and theres a private investigation going on about valerie's death.
evan asks how and why the group is interested in the murders and gold tells him that one of their friends is a sort of psychic, and felt the unrest of a lot of ghosts. funneh clarifies and says they want to help put the ghosts to rest so they can rest in peace, and thats why they're asking about the dead girls.
kyran admits he doesn't know a lot about the rest of the dead girls, but he does know other funneh and other gold were close friends with valerie. rainbow asks about kai and why kyran brings him up and kyran explains that valerie is his late girlfriend. funneh comments that it must've been why kai grabbed her out of nowhere during their first day.
kyran also mentions he isn't sure why james was convicted because kai and james were really close friends, and james' girlfriend---olivia paisley---committed suicide early into the first year, so the motive there is murky at best.
their food arrives and they decide to shelve the conversation for now. funneh apologizes to evan for the topic being so grim and dark and evan assures her it's okay and he doesn't mind, after all, they're trying to lay the ghosts to rest. that's an admirable cause. evan says he doesn't have much input on the girls since he didn't know most of them that well, but he was friends with one of olivia's friends and he was told that there was no way that olivia committed suicide because she loved her life, as bad as it was.
her friends tried to push for an actual case to be opened because she was looking for a locket her boyfriend gave her before she died and she sent two girls to find it, they never found out who the girls were, and she died the day the girls were supposed to give her locket back---james found the locket buried in the forest near the old dormitories.
olivia's case was never opened due to lack of evidence and ruled a suicide which evan calls bullshit on, stating that he honestly believed the girls killed her for being a shitty person and lying to them, and then buried the locket.
regardless, evan asks them if it'd be okay for them to put olivia and valerie on the priority list of who to lay to rest. he still cares for olivia, even if she was kind of a shit friend, and he wishes she got the justice she deserved. funneh promises they'll try their best.
okay sue me, im making shit up now. evans now more involved with olivia. technically she's just a friend of a friend to him, but i want this series to be a full circle. i don't wanna have evan too far outside of the circle because then he's just a romance device and doesn't have any actual ties to the story, which honestly weakens what i want to say.
anyone interested in sending requests for their (itsfunneh, not sam sorry samglad yhs fans) yhs ships....... ill give you scenarios...... once my diaphragm stops tryna kill me 🥹
also yes i do still have a bunch of asks from my menu but uhhh whatever whatever
guys you can request ships other people have already requested. it kinda just occurred to me that i haven't really had repeat requests for any ships 😭😭
you can also request angst or fluff, or platonic stuff if you so wish.
dont know if I'm allowed to submit dead people but this is pre-death Valerie okay
Valerie x Gold
what if i wrote post-death valerie /j
POPSTARS IN AGENTS
an alternate universe wherein valerie, a popstar with hundreds of fans and haters, hires agents to protect her. gold and valerie are in their 20s.
if you asked valerie what her type would be, she would've said she liked traditional japanese men who were soft spoken and quiet, with black hair and dark eyes. tall, dark and handsome, as they say.
but that's before she met her body guard, almost entirely opposite to her type. a gorgeous shorter brunette woman with light eyes who enjoys bantering with her.
if you asked valerie why she fell for a girl like that, she'd swear up and down that you'd fall in love with her too. and she's right. especially when you watch that woman manhandle people twice her size, or when she pulls you out of the way of a bullet, or when—
point is, valerie is in love with her. the problem? its incredibly embarrassing to admit she's into her because valerie told gold she was straight. STRAIGHT. VALERIE ISN'T EVEN STRAIGHT, SHE'S BISEXUAL.
and worst of all, gold has only shown interest in men...
OR NOT?
valerie overheard funneh (one of her other bodyguards when gold is off duty) talking to someone else on the phone about Gold's crush on valerie
while it is kind of shitty to find out about it through someone outing gold accidentally, valerie isn't too worried about it and decides to hint to gold that she likes girls.
unfortunately, the hints are hitting but only the part where valerie is talking about being bisexual, not the part where valerie is into her specifically.
valerie tries to deploy a better tactic: kissing her on the cheek! surely that will— will-... no, no nevermind. gold just thinks it's platonic.
POPSTARS IN AGENTS
headcanons, canons, and things of the like.
gold is absolutely oblivious during the first half of valerie hitting on her. like actually deeply in denial of it because gold thinks valerie is straight. it isn't until draco finally points out that valerie has been making heart eyes at gold and becoming increasingly distraught every time gold ignores her advances that gold realizes.
their dates are largely just them snuggling into bed and talking about things that have happened in their lives, Gold's missions, Valerie's meet and greets, etc.
gold loves working as an agent and valerie will occasionally worry over Gold's safety and health whenever she's assigned a dangerous mission. valerie tried asking gold to quit, but it just ended in an argument and valerie cried for an entire week.
gold loves doing Valerie's makeup, of course, valerie can't go out with the makeup since her makeup artist would kill her for cheating on her, but still. its a nice activity they do when they dont have anything else.
valerie and funneh became fast friends and often play silly pranks on gold, like switching the sugar and the salt, moving things ever so slightly to the left, and occasionally trying to give gold a heart attack by pretending valerie dyed her hair (funneh is surprisingly good at making the seam of the wig disappear.)
valerie likes the couch more than her bed and will occasionally sleep on it for a night. willingly. it is very scary seeing gold and valerie's personal doctor standing over her in the morning though.
valerie is a silver jewelry person, which irritates gold a little because they can't wear each others jewelry.
gold has her entire arm tattooed in gorgeous heart shaped patterns. sometimes valerie gets to color it in with sharpies. sometimes gold forgets to wipe off the sharpies and funneh will laugh at her for a minute straight for her entire arm being yellow and pink before getting throttled.
sorry this took so long ive been having a stomach bug and its been rough. also i generally don't write gold x valerie content, idk why i don't do that more often. its an ok ship.
FML I THOUGHT I PUT THE CUT THING DOWN AND COLORED HALF OF POPSTARS WITH PINK FUCKKSKSKFIKF THIS IS WHY I DONT USE MY OTHER PHONE TO POST SOMETHING ALWAYS GOTTA GO WRONG
dont know if I'm allowed to submit dead people but this is pre-death Valerie okay
Valerie x Gold
what if i wrote post-death valerie /j
POPSTARS IN AGENTS
an alternate universe wherein valerie, a popstar with hundreds of fans and haters, hires agents to protect her. gold and valerie are in their 20s.
if you asked valerie what her type would be, she would've said she liked traditional japanese men who were soft spoken and quiet, with black hair and dark eyes. tall, dark and handsome, as they say.
but that's before she met her body guard, almost entirely opposite to her type. a gorgeous shorter brunette woman with light eyes who enjoys bantering with her.
if you asked valerie why she fell for a girl like that, she'd swear up and down that you'd fall in love with her too. and she's right. especially when you watch that woman manhandle people twice her size, or when she pulls you out of the way of a bullet, or when—
point is, valerie is in love with her. the problem? its incredibly embarrassing to admit she's into her because valerie told gold she was straight. STRAIGHT. VALERIE ISN'T EVEN STRAIGHT, SHE'S BISEXUAL.
and worst of all, gold has only shown interest in men...
OR NOT?
valerie overheard funneh (one of her other bodyguards when gold is off duty) talking to someone else on the phone about Gold's crush on valerie
while it is kind of shitty to find out about it through someone outing gold accidentally, valerie isn't too worried about it and decides to hint to gold that she likes girls.
unfortunately, the hints are hitting but only the part where valerie is talking about being bisexual, not the part where valerie is into her specifically.
valerie tries to deploy a better tactic: kissing her on the cheek! surely that will— will-... no, no nevermind. gold just thinks it's platonic.
POPSTARS IN AGENTS
headcanons, canons, and things of the like.
gold is absolutely oblivious during the first half of valerie hitting on her. like actually deeply in denial of it because gold thinks valerie is straight. it isn't until draco finally points out that valerie has been making heart eyes at gold and becoming increasingly distraught every time gold ignores her advances that gold realizes.
their dates are largely just them snuggling into bed and talking about things that have happened in their lives, Gold's missions, Valerie's meet and greets, etc.
gold loves working as an agent and valerie will occasionally worry over Gold's safety and health whenever she's assigned a dangerous mission. valerie tried asking gold to quit, but it just ended in an argument and valerie cried for an entire week.
gold loves doing Valerie's makeup, of course, valerie can't go out with the makeup since her makeup artist would kill her for cheating on her, but still. its a nice activity they do when they dont have anything else.
valerie and funneh became fast friends and often play silly pranks on gold, like switching the sugar and the salt, moving things ever so slightly to the left, and occasionally trying to give gold a heart attack by pretending valerie dyed her hair (funneh is surprisingly good at making the seam of the wig disappear.)
valerie likes the couch more than her bed and will occasionally sleep on it for a night. willingly. it is very scary seeing gold and valerie's personal doctor standing over her in the morning though.
valerie is a silver jewelry person, which irritates gold a little because they can't wear each others jewelry.
gold has her entire arm tattooed in gorgeous heart shaped patterns. sometimes valerie gets to color it in with sharpies. sometimes gold forgets to wipe off the sharpies and funneh will laugh at her for a minute straight for her entire arm being yellow and pink before getting throttled.
sorry this took so long ive been having a stomach bug and its been rough. also i generally don't write gold x valerie content, idk why i don't do that more often. its an ok ship.
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i have never seen this ship before,,,, then again i dont ship lunar with anyone other than alec out of spite (levan and elilu shippers pmo last year and i swore to never interact w them ever again—elilu shippers can come back now but you're on thin ice.) so that's probably not that surprising.
i know i said I'd write scenarios.... but lowk i want to write a little so.
OBSESSED IN ADVENTURES
an alternate universe where celeste is obsessed with lunar, set in minecraft adventures.
STORYLINE
honestly celeste was never abnormal in anyway, at least not growing up. she was just really into shooting games and racing games, to the point that all she wanted ever since she was 10 was a driver's license. (which she got when she was 16.)
and then celeste saw her. it wasn't anything creepy, it wasn't during something private—celeste was looking for elijah at the mall and saw the most gorgeous girl she's ever seen.
immediately celeste wanted to go up to her and ask if she'd like to be friends, but the girl didn't seem to be very interested in talking—instead buying an assortment of strange items.
celeste decided to just ditch elijah since he was probably hanging out with that red head he got into a fist fight with. she had bigger things to follow.
celeste didn't mean to follow her all the way home, honest! thankfully no one saw her, but celeste just wanted to know where she was going! she didn't know she'd be going home...
still. useful information...
the neighborhood itself seems pretty barren, not many people around except some really weird old guy and a few families. honestly, it looks almost exactly like where celeste and elijah lived when their parents were still home.
celeste writes it down on her phone and notes down the girl's house number too. celeste wonders if she should sneak in and steal a souvenir, nothing important, just... a souvenir.
celeste decides against it, wanting to become friends before taking a souvenir.
celeste heads home and finds elijah absolutely pissed about being left behind, before celeste explains to him that she found a really cute girl—someone celeste wants to keep forever.
elijah seems a bit weirded out (by the way celeste is acting, not because she's a lesbian. he already knew that part.), but since its celeste's first crush ever, decides to support it.
the two of them research who she is by looking up her address and find out her name is lunar eclipse. elijah wonders if her mom's name is solar, while celeste chatters on and on about how beautiful a name lunar is.
eventually, celeste gets the guts to approach lunar at the mall where lunar frequently buys her strange assortment of ingredients.
they become fast friends as lunar enjoys talking about her alchemy and celeste loves hearing her talk and learning about her interests.
celeste drives lunar home (because it's late and celeste really didnt want her walking home) and lunar offers her to come inside, letting her park in front of her house. lunar offers her tea and biscuits, before asking if she'd like to watch lunar perform alchemy.
celeste agrees because, hell, the cute girl wants her to watch??? sign her right up.
lunar performs an alchemical transformation, changing raw gold into a necklace. lunar gives it to celeste as a thank you for hanging out with her and offers to let her stay over but celeste declines because elijah is gonna burn the house down if she doesn't come home.
celeste promises to come by again some time soon and hang out with her again, and lunar beams and promises to invite her for her local adventures.
OBSESSED IN ADVENTURES
headcanons, canons, among other things.
whenever celeste gets invited out to a more dangerous adventure like saving a candy kingdom, fighting clowns, etc. celeste is usually the one keeping lunar from getting hurt.
lunar is very very clumsy and often times, lunar jokes that celeste looks like she wants to wrap lunar in bubble wrap. (she does)
lunar loves sleeping in celeste's car, especially when the hood is down.
celeste adores when lunar talks about the history of some haunted mansion or school, and will occasionally prompt lunar to take something as a souvenir, which occasionally leads them to taking home a haunted object.
instead of pets, lunar collects haunted items that occasionally try and kill her. celeste moved in with her after the last neighborhood flooded because celeste was worried about her.
SHIP NAME IDEAS: HauntedDriving, HalloweenTrickster, AutumnGhosts, PoltergeistObsession, HuntingGhosts.
anyone interested in sending requests for their (itsfunneh, not sam sorry samglad yhs fans) yhs ships....... ill give you scenarios...... once my diaphragm stops tryna kill me 🥹
also yes i do still have a bunch of asks from my menu but uhhh whatever whatever
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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What Hermitcraft can teach us about internalized ableism and how not to talk to people with disabilities.
[timestamp for the quote is 2:16:00 if the link doesn't work]
Skizz made this comment 3 months ago, and it was so appalling I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since.
CW: ableist attitudes and brief implications of hypothetical su*cide
Context: Skizz and Scar were having a chat about taking care of your health. Scar was giving advice like "You gotta have a good sleep schedule, a clean diet, some kind of physical activity, something to stimulate your mind, and companionship with loved ones."
Expanding on that, Scar added, "You gotta have something to stimulate your brain otherwise you end up just staring at a wall for hours at a time."
Skizz then remarked about how Scar is especially qualified to talk about this sort of thing, "Because... let's call it what it is, dude, if anyone has had a reason to, uh- stare at a wall and... I'm not trying to get dark but... 'swim down,' y'know? It's you. And that's why I've always associated you with strength because you are legitimately one of the strongest people I've ever met."
(I feel like you can visibly see how much this offends Scar.)
I'd like to take an educational approach to this post, so we can all hopefully learn from Skizz' disrespectful comment.
It's impossible for any of us to fully understand what it's like to live with Scar's numerous disabilities and complex health conditions. We will (hopefully) never know what we would do if we were in his position, but our inability to grasp that reality often leads to the conclusion that we wouldn't be able to "overcome" everything he's been through.
This is often the case when hearing the stories and experiences of people with disabilities, and it typically results in them being reduced to a source of "inspiration" for able-bodied people. In the sense of: "If they can get through all those hardships, I can get through whatever struggles I'm going through!"
This is called "inspiration p*rn" or "disability p*rn" and it's unfortunately very pervasive in our culture today, especially on social media.
[source: bezzymigrane.com]
Our struggles serve as lessons in resilience, reducing us to simplified “inspiration” for those who will never live our reality. People gawk at our hardships with solicited sympathy, saying, “I’m glad that isn’t me.”
“Stella Young described inspiration p*rn as the way society turns disabled people into motivational stories just for existing,” explains Ehab Youssef, a licensed clinical psychologist at Mentalyc. “It’s when someone says, ‘If they can do it, what’s your excuse?’ or shares a feel-good video of a disabled person doing something ‘normal’ as if that alone is extraordinary."
Scar has responded to "compliments" about being "strong" or "inspirational" before by expressing that, "A lot of people don't know know what they're fully capable of until they're in that kind of situation," and "The human spirit is a powerful thing when pushed to its limits." (paraphrasing based on quotes I remember) Which is the most polite and tactful way to dismiss ableist remarks that I've ever seen.
Some people reading this may think, "But Scar is inspirational for having such positive attitude about his disabilities! He's so optimistic despite going through so many awful things, and that's admirable!" But that's another harmful idea rooted in internalized ableism.
[source: bezzymigrane.com]
“Inspiration p*rn sometimes promotes the idea that disabled people can, and should, always have a positive attitude and outlook about their situation or communicate things in an uplifting way," adds psychotherapist and clinical consultant Steph Fowler.
...This mindset pressures disabled people to always be exceptional. “People in the disabled person’s life may not recognize inspiration p*rn as harmful, and may perpetuate these ideas by suggesting the person needs to try harder, practice gratitude, or have a better attitude about their experience,” Fowler says.
We can be inspiring and sick or disabled, but dehumanizing us by suggesting that we are somehow more worthy if we have a positive attitude that inspires nondisabled people holds us all back.
I believe Skizz' statement about Scar's "strength" is rooted in this ideology.
Which brings me back to his quote- where he implies that if anyone has had a reason to sink into depression and end their own life, it's Scar.
I cannot express how inappropriate and outright disrespectful this assertion is. Scar has mentioned once or twice before that when he initially got sick, he struggled with depression for a long time, but that's all he's said on the subject. Skizz is assuming a lot about what Scar went through (and what Scar is comfortable sharing about himself publicly) by making such a bold, careless remark like this.
Implying that anyone would "have a reason to" end their own life is beyond disrespectful in any context, but it's far worse when said to a person with disabilities... and on a live stream at that.
[source: goodmenproject.com]
People with disabilities are just like everybody else. They’re complex and sometimes flawed. They hide insecurities and struggles and inner demons that they might not want the outside world to see.
We are not perfect, angelic human beings by virtue of having a disability. Life just doesn’t work that way, and you can’t pigeonhole us as brave or permanently optimistic or whatever innocuous stereotype helps you process our disabilities better.
Scar is not strong for wanting to live despite the challenges his health and disabilities bring. Scar is not inspirational because of how much he's gone through and how he's remained optimistic throughout it all.
Scar is inspirational because he's an incredible artist, a delightful entertainer, and a wonderful human being.
He's always teaching others about his building and design methods and encouraging people to step out of their comfort zone and try new things.
Multiple hermits have said that Scar is wonderful to work with, and the only hermit they've never once had any conflict with personally or professionally.
You don't need to look to Scar's disabilities to find "inspiration," Scar is an awe-inspiring person just by nature of who he is at heart.
-
I'd like to conclude with some advice on how to recognize and prevent the spread of disability p*rn, so hopefully we can come away from this post having learned something valuable.
[source: bezzymigrane.com]
“The biggest shift has to be seeing disabled people as people, not symbols of perseverance, not life lessons, just people living their lives,” says Youssef. “Instead of focusing on how someone “overcomes” their disability, we should be asking: Are we making the world accessible enough so they don’t have to overcome so much?”
...When someone calls a disabled person “inspiring,” I ask them why. I encourage them to think about whether that’s because the person is actually inspiring or if they just happen to have a disability.
Take a moment to question the content you’re being served and the things you’re sharing to limit the spread. Instead, focus on stories that celebrate the person as a whole, not just as a representation of disability.
*Person makes a post about headcanons that include KREW's roleplay characters (Ex. YHS Funneh, YHS Gold etc)*
"*Insert character here* is not *insert headcanon*! Can we stop this"
Like, yeah. This is a headcanon post about a fictional character, use your head please. Context clues are a thing.
This is based off a real interaction I had btw, no joke. I think the comment went along the lines of "Funneh is not Bi can we stop this" and I just started questioning my fandom choices right then and there.
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so something i realized, if i happen to become a published researcher in psychology—because there is a chance of that—its very likely im going to be using my legal name and after i die, its likely my works will come out of my pen name and be assigned to my legal name.
so imagine right. im a published researcher. i posted research that helped forward psychology or something. and then future generations look up my name to see what else ive published and you see: also known as "syi caedere" and you just see pages upon pages of yuri ocs and yaoi fanfiction 😭😭😭 I MEAN NOT A BAD WAY TO BE REMEMBERED BUT I STILL THINK ITS FUNNY AS HELL