shitposting is my passion

I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE’S A POST ABOUT THIS. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

just when i thought i had finally healed from my favorite band breaking up they have to post this fucking da vinchi code shit… like why get my hopes up with the Vaguest Tweet Ever™ 

is ur music ever so loud u feel like ur suffocating

update: i was having an asthma attack

*sticks my leg in the air* give me attention

*a Michaels employee* sir, some teens are spelling curse words with the wood letters and squatting next to them again

When you go through a pretty girl’s instagram and she’s so beautiful it makes you want to exfoliate your skin and go to the gym and give your hair a hot oil massage….i love that i love girls

there is so much grass in the world. there are probably 46, maybe even 47. nature is beautiful

like 95% of my daily vocabulary is ‘what’

Taylor Swift, Melania Trump and Jeffree Star all got dragged this week….and it’s only Tuesday

“There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” - Vladimir Lenin

“There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.” - Melania Trump

THANK GOD SOMEONE KNOWS BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD WHEN I SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY THINK IM BRAGGING

“go hang a salami” backwards is “im a lasagna hog" and that pleases me

how did either of these sentences occur naturally for you to discover this

funny how hot dogs come in packs of six but hot dog buns come in packs of twelve and also the united states has more blood on its hands than any other country in the world just by refusing asylum to refugees 

ever notice how you park in a driveway but drive on a parkway and also the british nation remains proud of its legacy as the world’s most murderous empire in all of recorded history and refuses to acknowledge its massacres