raemi

oftentimes, you found yourself caught in the web of your own thoughts, spiraling deeper with each passing day about the enigma that was beomgyu. he was your best friend, your confidant, your partner in crime—but sometimes, he felt like a puzzle you couldn’t quite solve.

it wasn’t just the big things, like the way he always seemed to show up exactly when you needed him, even without you asking. it was the little things, too—the way he’d hold your bag without a word when you struggled with too many things in your hands. the way he would sit through hours of your favorite shows—ones he didn’t particularly like—without a single complaint. the way his gaze lingered on you just a second too long when he thought you weren’t looking.

you didn’t know what to make of it. beomgyu wasn’t exactly a people pleaser. with others, he had a sharp tongue and a knack for playful teasing that often bordered on exasperation. but with you? he softened, like an untouchable winter snow melting under the warmth of spring. he never said no to you, even when he should have. even when you knew you were being unreasonable.

and it wasn’t like he didn’t have boundaries. you’d seen him draw them with others—firm, unyielding lines that no one dared to cross. yet, with you, those lines blurred until they were practically nonexistent.

it didn’t make sense. friends had limits, didn’t they? there were unspoken rules, boundaries that even the closest of friendships respected. but beomgyu seemed to exist in a different realm when it came to you, a realm where rules didn’t apply, and you were left wondering why.

was it guilt? pity? some unspoken sense of obligation? the thought made your stomach churn, and yet you couldn’t shake the tiny flicker of something else—a hope you didn’t dare name.

today, that flicker burned brighter, fueled by the quiet ache in your chest as you (im)patiently waited for his arrival as you sat on the park bench. you had asked him hangout once again just a few hours prior, and like always, he agreed without a second thought.

you clenched your hands together, the words bubbling up inside you like a storm waiting to break. you needed answers.

lost in your thoughts, you barely registered the faint sound of footsteps crunching against the gravel path, growing louder until they stopped right in front of you. a shadow fell over your face, and a familiar voice jolted you out of your reverie.

“hey. you alive in there?” beomgyu’s face hovered close, upside-down in your line of vision as he bent over to peer at you.

you blinked up at him, startled. “you—what are you doing?”

“checking if you’ve been body-snatched,” he replied, his grin wide and mischievous. “you’ve been sitting there looking all existential. do i need to call someone?”

you sat up straighter, huffing in mock indignation. “it’s nothing. i was just thinking.”

“dangerous,” he teased, straightening up and plopping onto the bench beside you. he threw his arm dramatically over the backrest, tilting his head to look at you with an exaggeratedly concerned expression. “don’t hurt yourself, okay? your brain only has so much capacity.”

“funny,” you reply dryly, rolling your eyes.

but his presence, his warmth beside you, already started to untangle the knot of thoughts swirling in your chest. that was the thing about beomgyu—he always had a way of pulling you back to the surface, no matter how deep you were sinking.

“what were you thinking about, anyway?” he asked, nudging your shoulder with his. “was it me? wait—let me guess. it was me, wasn’t it?”

“wow,” you deadpanned, yet trying to hide your surprise on how he was so spot on.  “how’d you figure it out?”

“i mean, come on. i'm a pretty captivating subject,” he said, flashing you a cheeky grin. “if i were you, i’d think about me too.”

you snorted, unable to stop the laugh that bubbled up in your chest. “you’re too full of yourself.”

“only when I’m around you,” he retorts without missing a beat, his tone playful but carrying a hint of something deeper.

the words hit you in a way you didn’t expect, and you found yourself staring at him, searching his face. he looked completely at ease, his eyes sparkling with amusement and the corners of his mouth still curled into a smile. but there was something in the way he looked at you—something that made your heart skip a beat.

“you’re so weird,” you muttered, looking away before he could notice the way your cheeks had started to heat up.

“says the person who was just having a staring contest with the sky,” he shot back, leaning closer until his shoulder bumped yours. “come on, tell me. what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

his tone was light, teasing, but there was an undercurrent of genuine curiosity, and you dare say concern, that made your chest tighten. you hesitated, the words you’d been mulling over all day sitting heavy on your tongue.

“it’s really nothing,” you respond, but the words came out too quickly, too forced.

beomgyu raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “liar.”

“i'm not lying!” you insisted, though your voice betrayed you by pitching higher.

“oh, you so are,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “your nose is doing that twitchy thing it always does when you’re trying to cover something up.”

“my nose does not twitch!”

“it totally does.”

“does not!”

“does too,” he said with a laugh, leaning back and stretching his legs out in front of him. “you’re a terrible liar, you know? it’s one of your most endearing qualities.” even when teasing you, he just couldn’t help but let some of his fondness slip out.

you crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. “if you’re trying to get me to confess to some made-up crime, it’s not going to work.”

“who said anything about crime?” he shot back, tilting his head with a mock-innocent expression. “i’m just saying, if you want to pour your heart out to me, i’m all ears. i mean, i’m basically your emotional support rock at this point, right?”

you laughed despite yourself, the sound easing the tension that had been building in your chest. “you’re impossible.”

“impossible to resist,” he said with a wink, earning another eye roll from you.

but the banter, as much as it made you smile, wasn’t enough to distract you from the weight of the question pressing against your ribs. beomgyu, with all his lightheartedness and teasing, made it so easy to forget, but you couldn’t keep brushing it aside.

your gaze softened as you looked at him, really looked at him. the way his grin reached his eyes, the way he never seemed to run out of things to say around you, the way his entire demeanor shifted when it was just the two of you—more animated, more comfortable, like he could let down his guard.

“beomgyu,” you said, quieter this time, your voice cutting through his playful chatter.

upon hearing his name, he turns to you with a curious expression. “yeah?”

“why do you…” you hesitated, the words catching in your throat.

“why do i what?” he prompted, his tone gentler now, though his eyes still held a spark of curiosity.

“why do you act so differently with me?”

the question lingered in the air, and for the first time, you saw the confidence in his expression waver. his grin slowly faded, replaced by something more cautious, almost vulnerable.

“different how?” he asked, though you could tell he already knew what you meant.

“you let me get away with everything,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “you’re so… patient with me, even when i know i’m being ridiculous. you don’t act like this with anyone else. why?”

beomgyu opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if the words he wanted to say were caught somewhere between his heart and his tongue. his fingers drummed nervously against his knee, his gaze flickering away from yours. “i don’t know,” he said finally, but the words sounded hollow even to him.

“yes, you do,” you said, leaning in slightly. “be honest with me, gyu.”

beomgyu didn’t look at you. instead, his eyes were on the ground, his fingers toying with the sleeve of his hoodie, as if the fabric was the most fascinating thing in the world at that moment. there was something different about him now, something that made your heart beat a little faster, but also a little heavier.

“right.” his voice wavered slightly, but he quickly masked it with a cough. “you know, i don’t really think it’s that complicated.”

you narrowed your eyes at him, sensing his hesitation despite his nonchalant tone. “not complicated?” you almost scoffed, trying to mask the vulnerability creeping into your chest. “well, it’s a little complicated for me. i’ve been thinking about this for days, gyu.”

he shifted uncomfortably, his fingers tightening into fists, his gaze still avoiding yours. there was a flicker in his eyes, but it was gone so quickly you couldn’t catch it. his lips pressed into a thin line. “i don’t know what you want me to say.”

his words were like a soft slap to your chest, and for a moment, you were silent, unsure if you should push further or retreat. but the question, the confusion inside you, was too loud to ignore now.

“i just want you to be honest with me,” you pressed, voice quieter this time. “why are you so... different with me? you’re not like this with anyone else. you just let me... let me do whatever I want.”

beomgyu’s shoulders stiffened at your words, and for a moment, it looked like he might say something, but he clamped his mouth shut. his brow furrowed, and the muscles in his jaw twitched as he fought to hold back whatever he was thinking.

“maybe... maybe i just don’t care enough to question you.” his tone was too light, too dismissive, but it didn’t quite match the storm of emotion brewing behind his eyes. his voice was steady, but there was a nervous edge to it; a trembling hesitation that you could feel radiating from him like heat.

that wasn’t it. you knew it wasn’t it, and it made you press on. “no, beomgyu,” you say, your voice a little firmer now, though your heart was thumping harder in your chest. “it’s more than that, and you know it. you let me cling to you, drag you across the city, and you never complain. you never ask why. you just... go along with it. no one else gets that from you. so tell me why.”

the silence that followed felt suffocating. beomgyu was so still beside you that it almost scared you. his hand clenched, then unclenched by his side, and you could see the muscles in his neck tighten, the pulse in his throat racing. his eyes flicked to you for a split second before darting away again.

"i don't know," he muttered, his voice almost too quiet to hear. "maybe i just... like spending time with you."

it wasn’t an answer, it was a deflection; a weak attempt to hide what he really meant. his words were wrapped in a layer of indifference, but underneath, you saw the flicker of something else—something warmer, something real, but it was buried under layers of uncertainty.

his breath hitched as he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here, with you, in this moment. you could see the conflict in his eyes, the way his brows furrowed as if the words were physically painful to say. the quiet moments between you were the loudest, filled with all the things neither of you were saying.

“i just don’t get it,” you said, voice trembling slightly as you leaned in closer, watching him with wide eyes. “you act like... like you care about what i want all the time, but why? why is it always so easy for you with me?”

beomgyu froze at the question, his expression faltering for the briefest moment. his lips parted, but the words didn’t come. you could almost hear the internal battle waging in his mind—his desire to be honest, to tell you everything, fighting against the fear of what would happen if he did. his eyes flickered to you again, but quickly darted away, unable to hold your gaze for longer than a second.

“i don’t... i don’t know how to explain it,” he finally relents, albeit slightly, his voice distant and strained. “it’s just... you’re... you’re easy to be with. okay? with you, it's like i don’t have to think; like i don’t have to second-guess myself and my actions. it’s simple. simple and... easy.”

you didn’t buy it, but you didn’t press him further. the hesitation in his voice, the way his gaze avoided yours, told you everything you needed to know. he was hiding something, something deep, something that made his heart race whenever you got too close to the truth.

but what? what was it?

for a moment, the silence stretched between you again, and you found yourself leaning back slightly, letting the words settle in the air. you studied beomgyu carefully, noticing how his posture had changed—how his shoulders were tense, how his hands were gripping the fabric of his pants like he was trying to ground himself.

“i just... don’t want to mess it up, okay?” beomgyu’s voice cracked on the last word, and you saw his eyes flicker to yours for the briefest moment before he looked away again, his face flushed in a way that made you feel both confused and oddly warm.

you stared at him, trying to process everything that had just happened. beomgyu wasn’t saying it—he wasn’t giving you the straightforward answer you were hoping for—but his emotions were clear. the way he was avoiding your gaze, the way his heart raced every time you got close to asking, and how his words came out jagged and unsure... it all pointed to something he wasn’t ready to admit.

but deep down, you could feel it—he genuinely cared. you just had to wait. you just had to be patient with him. with the way he held back, with the way he tried to guard his feelings so fiercely, it was clear that he needed time.

"beomgyu," you whispered, your voice softer now, as you took a small step closer to him. "it's okay. you don't have to say it if you're not ready. i... i'm sorry for pushing you too hard."

he finally turned to you then, his eyes meeting yours in a silent exchange that spoke volumes. and though he didn’t say it, the unspoken words hung between you like a promise—one he wasn’t ready to make, but one that you knew, deep down, he was already thinking.

if there was one person in the entire school who could single-handedly ruin your day without even trying, it was choi beomgyu.

he wasn’t just a thorn in your side; he was the entire rose bush, complete with sharp thorns, swarming bugs, and pollen that made you sneeze. beomgyu was the human equivalent of nails on a chalkboard, an untimely alarm clock, or a fly buzzing around your head when you were trying to focus.

he had this uncanny ability to be everywhere all at once, like a human embodiment of murphy’s law. quietly reading in the library? he’d show up out of nowhere, leaning over your shoulder and reading the words out loud in a ridiculous voice, making sure to butcher every single one.

if you were trying to focus in class, he’d find some way to get your attention, tapping your shoulder incessantly, passing you notes with doodles of your face and exaggerated scowls, or “accidentally” kicking your chair leg just hard enough to jolt you.

and if you dared to ignore him? he’d double down, whispering your name repeatedly until you snapped and glared at him, only for him to flash that infuriating grin.

it wasn’t just his actions, either. it was his entire existence. the way his laughter was always a decibel too loud, drawing attention wherever he went. the way he seemed to have an endless supply of energy, bouncing between conversations and cracking jokes that were somehow always at your expense.

“say, do you ever smile? or is the grumpy face just part of your brand now?” he’d say with mock concern, tilting his head like some concerned friend while you resisted the urge to smack that smug expression off his face.

yet, somehow, for reasons you hated yourself for, he was annoyingly attractive. it wasn’t fair. how could someone so insufferable look like he’d just walked out of a magazine?

his hair always had that perfect, slightly tousled look, as if he’d spent hours on it when you knew he probably just rolled out of bed. his eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint that promised trouble, and his stupid, lopsided grin had a way of making your stomach flutter despite your better judgment.

but none of that mattered, because his personality was insufferable enough to cancel out any appeal he might have had. and oh, how you despised him for it. you despised the way he always seemed to know exactly how to push your buttons, how he lived to tease you, and how he always left you simmering in frustration while he walked away, laughing like it was all just a game to him.

choi beomgyu was, without question, the absolute worst person you’d ever met, and you were determined to keep as much distance between you and him as possible during this school trip.

you walked into the room with a spring in your step, already fantasizing about two days of peaceful solitude. no obnoxious laughter, no teasing remarks, no beomgyu. for once, the universe had done something right.

that peace, however, lasted all of three seconds. your smile vanished the instant you spotted him. beomgyu. in your room. unpacking his duffle bag like he belonged there.

you froze in the doorway, disbelief hitting you like a slap to the face. this had to be a mistake, right?

“what the hell are you doing here?” you demanded, narrowing your eyes at his hunched form.

beomgyu didn’t even look up. “unpacking,” he said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“no, no, no.” you stepped into the room, pointing an accusing finger at him. “you’re in the wrong room. there’s no way we’re roommates. you must’ve walked into the wrong room. you’re stupid like that, after all.”

he turned his head to give you an amused look. “nice try, but i’m not wrong this time.”

you scoffed, crossing your arms. “prove it.”

with a sigh, beomgyu fished his keys out of his pocket, holding it up as if it were the holy grail. “room 313. same as the one on your key, right?”

your stomach dropped, and you reluctantly pulled your own keycard out to confirm. room 313. damn it. “this has to be some sick joke,” you muttered under your breath.

beomgyu smirked, leaning casually against the bedframe. “aw, don’t look so heartbroken. i’m flattered you care so much about where i sleep.”

you groaned, throwing your bag onto the bed with more force than necessary. “why you, of all people? this trip was supposed to be my escape, and now i’m stuck with you.”

“relax,” he drawled, stretching his arms behind his head. “i’m not that bad. i’ll even let you take the bed closer to the window. generous, right?”

you glared at him, too annoyed to appreciate the so-called ‘gesture.’ “oh, how kind of you, your highness. truly, i’m honored,” you retorted, voice laced with sarcasm.

beomgyu laughed, the sound grating on your already-frayed nerves. “you’re awfully cute when you’re sarcastic.”

“don’t call me cute,” you snapped, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“okay, grumpy,” he shot back with a wink.

you clenched your fists at the nickname, one he liked to use on you, muttering (loudly) as you stomped over to your bed. “this is my nightmare. why couldn’t i have been paired with literally anyone else? even that kid who collects bugs would’ve been better than this.”

but to your surprise, there was no snarky retort. no obnoxious laugh or teasing remark. not even a single snarky retort, or any witty one-liner.

beomgyu had simply gone … quiet.

you frowned, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. he was sitting on his bed, unpacking his things methodically, almost… calmly.

it was suspicious. he was suspicious.

for a moment, you were tempted to ask if something was wrong, but no, this was beomgyu—he was probably just lulling you into a false sense of security so he could spring some ridiculous prank later.

deciding not to risk it, you kept your mouth shut and started unpacking your own things. still, the silence between you two felt unnatural. it hung heavy in the room, and despite your better judgment, you found yourself sneaking another glance at him.

he looked… normal. no devilish smirk, no gleam of mischief in his eyes. just beomgyu, quietly organizing his stuff like any other person.

weird. really weird. and unsettlingly… not unpleasant.

⁺ ༄ ༝ ₊

as soon as the class regrouped in the common area later that day, you were reminded of exactly why choi beomgyu was public enemy number one in your book.

“i told you, taehyun, there’s no way you can out-eat me,” beomgyu crowed, arms flailing animatedly as he reenacted some ridiculous lunchtime escapade. his voice carried above the chatter of your classmates, loud enough that everyone turned their heads to either laugh along or roll their eyes.

you snickered under your breath, shaking your head. of course, the subdued version of beomgyu you’d seen in the room was just a temporary glitch in the system. he was back in full force now, throwing exaggerated gestures and laughing so hard he almost toppled over.

“i knew it,” you muttered to yourself, crossing your arms. “as if he’d ever stay quiet for long.”

“knew what?” one of your friends asked, nudging you.

“oh, nothing,” you replied, still eyeing beomgyu’s theatrics. “just that a tiger can’t change its stripes.”

but any smug satisfaction you felt was short-lived.

“you’ll be paired with the person whose name is written on the card you pull,” the teacher explained, holding out a basket of folded slips.

as luck would have it (or misfortune, rather), the name on your card was the one person you’d been hoping to avoid.

“choi beomgyu,” you read aloud, your voice flat with resignation.

“ah, lucky you!” beomgyu grinned, leaning toward you with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. “guess you got the best partner, huh?”

“more like the worst,” you muttered, earning a mock gasp of offense from him.

to make matters worst, the two of you were sent off into a different section of the campground, far enough away that the sounds of your classmates faded into the background. it was a simple task—gather specific items from the forest for a scavenger hunt.

at first, you braced yourself for the usual barrage of beomgyu’s teasing remarks and incessant chatter, but as you walked along the winding trail, something strange happened.

he was quiet.

too quiet.

you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. his head was down, his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets as he kicked at the dirt path absentmindedly. the beomgyu who had been commanding the group’s attention just minutes ago now looked… thoughtful.

“what, did you finally run out of things to say?” you quipped, your voice tinged with sarcasm.

he glanced at you, the corner of his mouth tugging into a small smile. “nah, just… thinking.”

you raised an eyebrow. “you? thinking? must be serious.”

“ha-ha,” he deadpanned, but there was no bite to his tone. unusually so.

the silence that followed stretched on, long and unbroken, like a thread unraveling endlessly between the two of you. the gentle rustle of leaves underfoot filled the space where beomgyu’s usual chatter should’ve been. it was almost disorienting—this odd, fragile quiet.

you bent down to pick up a small, flat stone from the ground, turning it over in your hand. it was smooth and cool to the touch, one of the items on your scavenger list. “this should work,” you murmured, not expecting an answer.

“nice find,” came beomgyu’s voice, soft and low.

your head snapped up, eyes narrowing at him in surprise. there was no sarcasm in his tone, no teasing glint in his eye. just a genuine acknowledgment, plain and unadorned. it threw you off more than you cared to admit.

“oh, uh… thanks,” you said, fumbling over the word like it was foreign.

he offered a small smile—an actual smile, not the cocky, lopsided grin he usually wore—and it made your chest tighten for reasons you didn’t want to dwell on.

as the two of you continued down the path, the quiet didn’t dissipate. instead, it grew heavier, more tangible, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. it wasn’t tense, either. it was something else entirely, something softer and… stranger.

you found yourself stealing glances at him, unable to help it. there was something almost… calming about the way he moved. his usual energy—the constant bouncing steps, the exaggerated gestures—was gone. instead, his pace was measured, his gaze sweeping the forest floor with a calm focus. it was unsettling. but more so confusing.

you crouched down again, this time picking up a pine cone half-buried in the dirt. brushing it off, you tucked it into your bag before standing again.

“so,” you began, trying to sound casual, “are you… okay…? did you hit your head before we went out or something?”

beomgyu glanced at you, and for a moment, you thought you saw the faintest flicker of amusement in his eyes. “i’m fine. why?”

you gestured vaguely toward him. “you’re… quiet. really quiet. it’s weird.”

he raised an eyebrow, a small, knowing smile tugging at his lips. “weird, huh?”

“yeah,” you said, crossing your arms as you started walking again. “what, did someone finally tell you to shut up and you actually listened?”

he chuckled under his breath—quietly, not the loud, boisterous laugh you were used to. it was a softer sound, almost… warm.

and then he didn’t say anything else. he didn’t rise to your bait, didn’t fire back with one of his usual snarky comebacks. instead, he just kept walking, the faint smile lingering on his face as his eyes swept the path ahead.

the longer the silence stretched, the more it started to unnerve you. this… wasn’t the beomgyu you knew. the beomgyu you knew would’ve already made three jokes at your expense and found some way to drive you to the brink of exasperation. this version of him—quiet, calm, almost thoughtful—was an entirely different person.

and the strangest part? you didn’t hate it.

in fact, you found yourself relaxing in his presence, your usual wariness slipping away without you realizing it. without the relentless teasing and constant chatter, it was almost… peaceful.

but the question lingered, gnawing at the edges of your mind. why was he like this now? where was the loud, insufferable boy who had been the center of attention just an hour ago in the canteen? why did he only act like this when it was just the two of you?

the thought made your stomach twist, and you found yourself glancing at him again, searching for some kind of answer in his expression. but beomgyu’s face was unreadable, his focus entirely on the trail ahead.

when you reached a small clearing, he paused, crouching down to inspect a patch of moss. “think this counts as ‘soft greenery’?” he asked, holding it up for you to see.

you blinked, startled by the sudden question. “uh… yeah, probably.”

“cool,” he said simply, tucking the moss into his bag.

and just like that, the silence resumed, wrapping around you both like a thick, heavy blanket. but this time, you couldn’t shake the strange, nagging warmth blooming in your chest.

it wasn’t fair. choi beomgyu wasn’t supposed to make you feel anything except irritation. and yet, here he was—quiet, calm, and somehow disarming you without even trying.

not too long after, you both finally found every item required on the list. with your bag heavier and your mind filled with unanswered questions, you followed beomgyu back toward the meeting point where the rest of the class had gathered. there was an odd weight to your steps, a strange feeling tugging at you—a weird, quiet disappointment that you couldn’t quite shake.

you glanced over at beomgyu as the two of you walked in silence. he carried his bag slung casually over one shoulder, his expression as neutral and calm as it had been the entire time.

when you reached the clearing where everyone was waiting, the energy of the group hit you like a wave; loud voices, laughter, and the chaos of friends recounting their scavenger adventures. you barely had time to process it all when the instructor called everyone’s attention to announce the winners.

and much to you and everyone else’s surprise, the instructor called you and beomgyu out.

your head whipped around to look at beomgyu in disbelief. he was already smirking, the corners of his mouth lifting in that infuriatingly familiar way.

“well, look at that,” he said, his voice now laced with amusement. “teamwork makes the dream work, huh?”

you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the way your cheeks heated under his gaze. “don’t get used to it. this was pure luck.”

he laughed—loud and full, the sound cutting through the noise around you. and just like that, the calm, subdued version of him from earlier was gone, replaced by the beomgyu you knew all too well.

you groaned, stepping away as his friends swarmed him with congratulations and playful jabs. as much as you wanted to revel in the small victory, the shift in his demeanor made your chest tighten in a way you didn’t fully understand.

you lingered at the edge of the group, watching as beomgyu fell seamlessly back into his usual role—loud, boisterous, and always at the center of attention. the difference was jarring, like a switch had flipped the moment he rejoined the crowd.

and it felt… weird.

you couldn’t stop thinking about how different he’d been when it was just the two of you. the calm, quiet side of him wasn’t something you’d ever seen before. it was like a secret he’d accidentally let you glimpse, only to tuck it away the moment you weren’t alone anymore.

why was he only ever like that around you? did he hate being around you so much that he didn’t even want to bother teasing you anymore? the thought made your stomach twist unpleasantly.

but then, why did that calm side of him… comfort you? why did it unnerve you in equal measure?

you didn’t get it. none of it made sense.

as the group began to disperse for the next activity, you felt someone nudge your shoulder. you turned to find one of your friends grinning at you.

“so, what’s the deal with you and beomgyu? you guys actually worked together without killing each other?”

“barely,” you said with a huff, trying to mask the strange cocktail of emotions swirling in your chest. “he was… different.”

your friend raised an eyebrow. “different how?”

“nevermind,” you mumbled, brushing past them as you tried to shake the thoughts from your head.

but even as you joined your friends, laughing and chatting as though nothing was wrong, your gaze drifted back to beomgyu.

he caught your eye from across the clearing and smirked, giving you a two-fingered salute.

and somehow, that simple gesture sent a pang of frustration—and something else entirely—through you.

⁺ ༄ ༝ ₊

the day had been long and exhausting. after hours of team-building activities—most of which involved more yelling and chaos than actual teamwork—the announcement of some “healing time” around the campfire felt like a blessing.

everyone seemed to share the same sentiment, slumping into the circle of logs and folding chairs surrounding the crackling fire, their faces illuminated by its flickering glow.

the atmosphere was light and easy, the warm flames licking upward as students laughed, shared terrible ghost stories, and sang impromptu songs. the campfire’s golden light softened the world, turning the boisterous group into a cozy bubble of warmth and laughter.

you were starting to relax, when someone brought out a guitar, the sleek instrument glinting faintly in the firelight.

“anyone know how to play?” the instructor asked, looking around.

immediately, a group of boys started whispering and nudging one another, and before you could fully process it, one of beomgyu’s friends grabbed his wrist and yanked his hand into the air.

“beomgyu does!” the boy announced loudly, grinning like he’d just won a prize.

your head snapped to the side. beomgyu?

“what—hey, not funny, cut it out…” beomgyu groaned, tugging his hand back down and glaring at his friend.

the group erupted into laughter, some clapping and others urging him to go for it. you leaned forward slightly, intrigued despite yourself.

“come on, beomgyu,” the instructor then encouraged, smiling. “let’s hear it.”

beomgyu shifted uncomfortably, his expression torn between exasperation and embarrassment. “i’m not—ugh, fine,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair before finally standing up.

he stepped forward and took the guitar, visibly gulping as he adjusted it in his lap. the firelight cast shadows over his face, but you didn’t miss the way he glanced in your direction. it was quick, fleeting, and yet… intentional. like he wanted to see your reaction.

your heart gave an odd jolt. why did it feel like his eyes lingered just a second too long?

the circle grew quiet as beomgyu plucked at the strings, testing them. his fingers were steady, but you noticed the slight tension in his jaw as he took a deep breath. then, without preamble, he began to play.

the soft, melodic chords of “i will give you everything” by lee janghee floated into the night air, delicate and deliberate. beomgyu’s fingers moved fluidly over the strings, coaxing out a gentle rhythm that seemed to wrap around the campfire like a warm embrace.

and then, he started singing.

it began softly, his voice slipping into the quiet like a gentle breeze, carrying with it something raw and achingly beautiful. it was the kind of voice that could hush a crowded room, that could demand attention without ever raising its volume.

it was soothing, unassuming at first, and then it began to grow—layered with warmth, depth, and an unexpected vulnerability that felt almost tangible.

you blinked, your focus narrowing until it was as if there was only him, sitting there with the guitar balanced in his hands, his head tilted just slightly as he poured his soul into the music.

it wasn’t perfect, not in the technical sense. there were moments when his voice wavered, when the raw emotion seemed to outpace his control. but that only made it more captivating. it was authentic, so deeply, disarmingly honest that it felt like a secret he was sharing with everyone in the circle.

you sat frozen, the familiar ache of something unnameable stirring in your chest. the obnoxious boy who teased you relentlessly, who lived to push your buttons, was nowhere to be found once again.

and as the song reached its chorus, he glances up, and for a fleeting moment, his eyes found yours.

everything stopped.

it was as if the world itself held its breath. the fire crackled in the background, but its warmth faded in comparison to the intensity of his gaze. his eyes were tender, impossibly so, brimming with an emotion you couldn’t place.

there was no smirk, no teasing glint, no trace of the boy who drove you insane. just beomgyu, stripped of his bravado, looking at you as though you were the only person in the universe who mattered in that moment.

your breath caught, the air thick and heavy in your lungs. your heart thudded loudly in your chest, drowning out everything else. his gaze was so soft, so achingly gentle, it made your stomach twist in a way you weren’t ready to acknowledge.

you tore your gaze away, your cheeks burning, your heart pounding as if you’d been caught doing something forbidden. but even as you looked elsewhere—anywhere but at him—his voice pulled you back.

it was soothing in a way that made you feel too much, its warmth and depth settling into the spaces you didn’t know were empty. you felt vulnerable, exposed, as though he’d reached inside and found the parts of you you didn’t let anyone see.

when the final note rang out, the world rushed back in with a wave of cheers and applause. the spell broke, and beomgyu ducked his head, laughing shyly as he handed the guitar back to its owner.

“happy now?” he muttered to his friends as he sat back down, though his usual cocky tone was uncharacteristically absent.

as the circle erupted into noise and chatter once more, you stole a glance at him. beomgyu was laughing now, nudging his friends as they teased him about his unexpected talent. he was back to being himself—the loud, insufferable menace you’d grown used to.

you went back into conversation like everyone else, but your head felt disconnected from your body, your mind still stuck on that one glance.

those… eyes.

why did it feel like he was singing to you?

⁺ ༄ ༝ ₊

as everyone filtered back to their rooms, you felt a strange mix of relief and apprehension settle in your chest. the day had been exhausting, but not in the way you’d expected. it wasn’t the team-building activities or the endless socializing that left you drained—it was beomgyu.

the memories of him during the scavenger hunt, the haunting softness of his voice as he sang, and, most of all, that fleeting, heart-stopping moment when your eyes met across the campfire… they swirled in your mind like an endless storm.

you walked towards the door your room, your steps growing heavier with each one. and as if sensing your inner thoughts, your heart oddly skips a beat when you turned the corner and spotted beomgyu approaching from the other end of the hall.

sensing your presence, beomgyu’s gaze flicked up, meeting yours. for a split second, neither of you moved, caught in a strange limbo. the tension was palpable, thick enough to cut with a knife.

you quickly averted your eyes, willing yourself to focus on something, anything else. fumbling with your keys, you muttered a curse under your breath as they slipped from your grasp and clattered to the floor.

“great,” you mumbled, squatting down to pick them up.

but before you could, beomgyu was already there, his hand reaching for the keys. your fingers brushed briefly, and you pulled back as if burned, the unexpected warmth of his skin lingering on yours.

“here,” he said quietly, holding the keys out to you. his voice was soft, almost tentative, your heart now pounding against your chest as if it was threatening to fall out.

“oh… thanks,” you murmured, your voice embarrassingly small as you took the keys from him.

before you could unlock the door yourself, he surprises you again. “let me,” he says just as softly, gently opening the door with his own keys. he slid the key into the lock and opened the door with an ease that felt far too intimate for such a mundane act.

you stepped inside first at his silent gesture, your mind racing.

the room was dimly lit, the faint glow of the bedside lamp casting warm shadows on the walls. you moved to your side of the room without a word, setting your bag down and busily pretending to organize your things. the silence stretched between you, heavy and awkward, broken only by the sound of beomgyu setting his own things aside.

you couldn’t stop thinking about how close he’d been, how soft his voice sounded, how his hand had felt against yours. you shook your head, trying to banish the thoughts, but they clung to you stubbornly.

finally, you decided to break the silence, if only to distract yourself. “you, uh… you sounded good earlier. during the song, i mean.”

the words came out more awkwardly than you intended, and you cringed inwardly. you couldn’t even dare to look at him.

beomgyu paused, the air between you tightening. “oh… thanks,” he said after a moment, his tone measured. “i didn’t think anyone would actually pay attention.”

you turned your head slightly, catching the faintest glimpse of him rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze fixed somewhere on the floor. he looked… shy.

you tilted your head, curiosity getting the better of you. “are you kidding? why not? you’re… good. amazing, even.”

his lips quirked into a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “maybe. but it’s not really my thing to show off like that.”

you raised an eyebrow, unable to resist a teasing jab. “that’s a first. i thought showing off was your whole personality.”

to your surprise, he chuckled, the sound low and genuine. “touché.”

you laughed softly, and for a moment, the tension eased, replaced by something gentler. something that made your chest feel a little too tight.

as silence crept back in, you found yourself stealing glances at him, the image of him at the campfire still vivid in your mind. his soft, tender gaze, the way his voice had drawn you in—it all felt too close, too raw.

and then there was this beomgyu, the quiet one sitting just across the room. the one who had gently handed you your keys, who opened the door for you, who seemed to peel back the layers of his loud, teasing persona when no one else was around.

why did he only act like this when it was just the two of you? and why did it make your heart ache in a way you didn’t understand?

⁺ ༄ ༝ ₊

the next day, everything seemed to buzz with activity. everyone was excited for the next round of team-building exercises, chatting and laughing as they gathered their things. but for you? the noise, the excitement, it all felt distant. your mind, it seemed, had other plans. it was stuck on one person—beomgyu.

you couldn’t stop thinking about him. and it wasn’t because of his usual loud antics, no, it was the strange shift in his behavior. the quiet side of him that had shown itself only around you, the one you couldn't quite understand. the one that had made your heart do this... odd thing you hated.

all day, your eyes kept drifting to him, following his movements closely, trying to figure out why he acted like an entirely different person when it was just the two of you. he wasn’t like this with anyone else—no, with everyone else, he was the cocky, annoying, loud mess that had driven you insane since the day you met him. but with you? he was soft, surprisingly calm, almost... shy? it made no sense.

you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice the rest of the group moving on, the voices around you fading into the background. without realizing it, you had wandered off the trail, the trees around you growing denser as you turned in circles, trying to figure out where you were. you cursed under your breath, pulling out your phone—no signal, of course. and your battery was almost dead. fantastic.

you couldn’t stop pacing, frustration bubbling up in your chest as you tried to figure out which way to go. each step felt like you were sinking deeper into your own thoughts, but the world around you was becoming increasingly unfamiliar. everything felt... off. and that was when it happened.

you collided with something—someone—and before you could react, your feet slipped out from under you, sending you crashing into the ground.

as you stumbled and fell on your ass, a sharp wince escaped your lips. the grass was rough, and the fall left you a little more embarrassed than you'd care to admit. you groaned, sitting up and rubbing your backside, annoyed with yourself for losing focus like that.

but then, a soft voice broke through your frustration, pulling you from your misery.

"are you alright?"

you froze, and as your gaze lifted, you saw him—beomgyu. his bright and teasing demeanor you saw earlier replaced once more by something else entirely—something softer, almost concerned. he was standing there, looking down at you with an eyebrow slightly raised, as if waiting for an answer.

you blinked in surprise. "you? why are you... here?"

beomgyu took a few steps closer, kneeling down so that he was at eye level with you. his hands were still tucked in his jacket pockets, and there was a quiet warmth to his presence that you hadn’t expected. "i saw you wander off," he said casually, but his eyes didn’t match his laid-back tone. "thought i’d make sure you didn’t get too lost."

his words seemed so... genuine. and yet, you couldn’t shake the confusion that swirled in your mind. he saw you wander off? he was looking at you? following your every move just as you followed his? beomgyu was the last person you expected to show any sort of concern, let alone take the time to make sure you were okay.

"but how did you know?" you asked, still bewildered, glancing at him. "you’ve been with your friends the whole time, right? why would you leave them to—"

"i’m not glued to them," he interrupted quickly, his voice light but with a touch of something else—something uncharacteristically flustered yet calm both at the same time.

without explaining any further, beomgyu stood up first, taking out a hand from the pocket of his jacket before extending one towards you. his hand hovered in the air, palm up, an unspoken invitation that caught you off guard. his expression was soft, almost hesitant.

"come on," he said quietly, his voice low and steady. "we can’t look for the others with you on the ground like that, can we?"

you stared at his hand, your thoughts spinning. the way he looked at you, his eyes so steady and sincere, made your chest tighten in a way that was both unfamiliar and unsettling.

your fingers hovered over his for a moment, unsure if you should take the offer. was this really the same beomgyu who thrived on driving you up the wall? because right now, like yesterday, he felt like someone entirely different.

after a beat, you placed your hand in his. his grip was firm but not overpowering, his hand warm against yours. the touch sent a jolt through your system, a strange mixture of comfort and something far more disconcerting.

as he gently helped you to your feet, neither of you said a word. the world around you seemed to pause—the rustling leaves, the distant chirping of birds, even the whisper of the wind—it all faded into the background. the only thing you could focus on was the way his fingers curled just slightly around yours, like he was holding on for a second longer than necessary.

when you were fully upright, he let go, but the absence of his touch left your hand tingling, like it still remembered the warmth of his.

"you good?" he asked, his voice softer than usual.

you nodded, avoiding his gaze as you dusted off your pants. but you could feel his eyes on you, as if he were checking to make sure you were really okay. the air between you felt charged, heavy with something you couldn’t quite name.

beomgyu took a step back, his hand now tucked back into his pocket, but the softness in his eyes hadn’t disappeared. "we’ll find the others soon. let’s just stick together, yeah?"

together. you swallowed hard, nodding again because words seemed impossible right now. something about the way he stood there, a mix of confidence and quiet sincerity, made your thoughts race.

as the two of you started walking, an odd silence stretched between you. it wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable either. it was charged with an unspoken tension, the kind that made you hyperaware of every step, every breath, every glance he threw your way.

you tried to focus on your surroundings, on finding your way back to the group, but your mind kept circling back to the moment that had happened only a few minutes ago—how his hand had felt around yours, how his voice had softened in a way that felt far too intimate for someone who was supposed to be your biggest annoyance.

and then there was the way he had looked at you. not with the playful mischief you were used to, but with something tender. gentle. like, for a moment, you weren’t just the person he liked to tease—you were something more.

it left you reeling, your heart pounding in your chest as the two of you walked side by side. you couldn’t quite bring yourself to look at him again, afraid of what you might see—or worse, what you might feel.

beomgyu, for his part, seemed calm, though you could swear he stole glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking. his usual cockiness had been stripped away, replaced by a quiet vulnerability that made you feel things you didn’t want to name.

what was happening? why was beomgyu, of all people, making your heart race like this? and why did his words, his touch, linger in your mind like a song you couldn’t forget?

you shook your head, trying to snap yourself out of it. this was beomgyu—irritating, obnoxious, infuriating beomgyu. and yet, as you walked through the forest together, you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, there was more to him than you’d ever allowed yourself to see.

⁺ ༄ ༝ ₊

as you continued to trudge through the forest path, the shadows of the trees stretching long in the fading sunlight, you couldn’t help but sigh. your earlier irritation with yourself for wandering off had transformed into full-blown worry. 

what if you didn’t find the others? what if you got stuck out here, lost in the woods, forever? and worse—what if you had to spend your last moments with beomgyu of all people?

your thoughts spiraled, imagining every worst-case scenario, until a sudden pressure on your shoulder pulled you out of it.

"hey," beomgyu’s voice was calm, steady, as he gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. "we’ll find them. don’t worry."

the simple gesture, paired with his soft reassurance, made your heart do an annoyingly traitorous flip. gone was your panic—replaced by a wave of heat rushing to your face. of course, you weren’t worried anymore, you were now flustered.

you glanced at him, trying to gauge how he could be so calm in this situation. but instead of his usual teasing smirk or overconfident grin, he was looking at you with that same quiet sincerity he’d been using on you since the day before.

determined to shake off the growing tension between you, you cleared your throat and finally spoke. "so… why were you even around to see me wandering off in the first place? you’re not exactly known for being observant, you know."

beomgyu blinked, startled by your sudden question. then he narrowed his eyes playfully, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. "well, excuse me for caring, i guess. i happened to notice you lagging behind, and since i’m such a kind, thoughtful person, i figured i’d check on you."

you snorted, crossing your arms. "oh, please. kind and thoughtful? you must’ve hit your head on a tree branch or something."

he rolled his eyes, but there was a faint flush creeping across his cheeks. "believe it or not, i’m capable of being nice."

"mhm, sure." you teased, narrowing your eyes at him. "so nice that you waited until i got lost before showing up. really great timing there, choi."

he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "wow, no gratitude whatsoever. next time, i’ll just let you wander into a bear’s den or something."

"oh, so now you’re a wildlife expert too?" you shot back, trying to suppress the smile tugging at your lips.

the banter came easily, easing the awkwardness that had been building between you. but beneath the light teasing, you couldn’t ignore the way your chest still felt tight, your heart still fluttering from his earlier gesture.

"seriously, though," you said after a pause, looking at him curiously. "why did you come after me? it’s not like you to… well, you know, care. for me.”

his steps faltered just slightly, but he recovered quickly, stuffing his hands back into his pockets. "i don’t know," he said, his voice quieter now. "i guess i just… noticed."

you blinked, caught off guard by the honesty in his tone. his gaze stayed forward, avoiding yours, and for a moment, you could’ve sworn there was something unspoken lingering in the air between you.

but then he cleared his throat and grinned, his usual confidence slipping back into place. "besides, someone has to make sure you don’t get eaten by a bear."

you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the tiny smile that crept onto your face. "right, like you’d be so helpful in a bear attack."

"oh, i would be. they’ll just think i’m one of them," he says smugly, imitating a bear growling with hand gestures, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

as the two of you continued down the path, the unease from earlier began to fade, replaced by a strange, tentative comfort. maybe being stuck in the woods with beomgyu wasn’t the worst thing after all.

as the conversation flowed between you two, it was almost startling how natural it felt. gone was the sharp banter or pointed glares—replaced instead by an ease you hadn’t realized you could have with beomgyu. and for a moment, as ridiculous as it sounded, it felt like you’d been walking this path together for ages.

but then a chilly breeze swept through the trees, interrupting the moment and sending a shiver racing up your spine. instinctively, you crossed your arms and tucked your hands under them, trying to preserve whatever warmth you could.

“cold?” beomgyu’s voice broke the silence, soft but tinged with concern.

“no, i’m fine,” you said quickly, but the involuntary shudder that followed betrayed you.

he didn’t say anything at first. you glanced at him and saw his brows furrowed slightly, as though he were debating something. before you could question it, he shrugged off his jacket and held it out to you.

“here,” he said, his voice quieter now.

you blinked at him, caught off guard. “what? no, i can’t—what about you? won’t you freeze?”

he hesitated for only a second before shaking his head. “it’s fine. i don’t really feel the cold anyway,” he said, his tone casual, but the way he avoided your gaze told you otherwise. “just… take it. it’s no big deal.”

now it was your turn to hesitate, your fingers hovering over the jacket, but the way he stood there, holding it out so patiently, made it impossible to refuse. finally, you took it, slipping it on and immediately basking in the warmth it provided. it was oversized on you, the sleeves covering your hands, and it smelled faintly of something sweet and familiar—like peach and vanilla.

“thanks,” you mumbled, the heat creeping up your cheeks doing little to combat the chill.

“don’t mention it,” he replied, but you noticed the faint flush dusting his own cheeks as he quickly looked away.

still, you couldn’t help but frown slightly. “seriously, though... aren’t you going to get cold?”

he shook his head, his hands now stuffed into his pockets. “as long as you’re not cold, it’s fine.”

his words were simple, but they hit you harder than they should have. your heart skipped, the warmth of his jacket suddenly feeling like it had seeped into your chest.

neither of you spoke for a moment, the quiet stretching between you. it wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was something charged about it—like there was a question hanging in the air, waiting to be asked.

finally, unable to ignore the question that had been eating away at you, you blurted out, “why are you so quiet around me but not around anyone else?”

beomgyu froze mid-step, his gaze snapping to yours. his eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, you thought he might deflect the question, maybe throw out a teasing remark like he always did. but instead, he sighed, running a hand through his hair in that nervous way you were starting to recognize. when he finally looked at you, his expression wasn’t smug or playful, it was… vulnerable.

“do you really wanna know?” he asked softly, his voice barely audible above the rustling leaves.

your throat felt tight, but you nodded. “yeah. i do.”

he hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground. his fingers fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as though trying to steady himself. “it’s because you’re… different,” he said at last, his voice tentative, almost unsure.

you blinked, his words taking a moment to sink in. “different?” you echoed, your heart skipping a beat as you stared at him.

he nodded, still not looking at you. “yeah. with everyone else, it’s easy to be… loud, annoying, whatever. because, honestly? i don’t really care what they think. it doesn’t matter if I’m too much for them.”

his words made your chest tighten. “but with me…?” you prompted, your voice softer now, almost afraid to break the fragile moment hanging between you.

beomgyu finally met your gaze, his eyes searching yours as if he was trying to find the courage to say whatever it was he wanted to. “with you, i.. i care about what you think, and… actually, i feel like this is who i really am,” he said quietly, his tone raw and uncertain.

your breath caught, and you tilted your head slightly, frowning. “really?” you asked, disbelief lacing your voice. “i don’t buy it. you’re saying the real you is quiet and… shy? come on.”

he let out a small, humorless laugh, shaking his head. “okay, maybe not completely,” he admitted, his lips twitching into the barest hint of a smile before it faded again. “but…”

“but…?” you pressed once more, your voice barely above a whisper now.

beomgyu’s cheeks flushed, and he looked away again, his fingers tugging at his sleeve nervously. “when I’m alone with you…” he began, his voice faltering. “i feel like i can be myself, but… i also feel like i need to be careful. like i can’t mess up. can’t mess… us up.”

your breath hitched. “us?” you repeated, the word hanging in the air between you.

beomgyu rubbed the back of his neck, clearly flustered now. he looked at you, his eyes filled with something so vulnerable and tender that it made your heart ache. “sorry,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “i probably shouldn’t have said anything.”

but you shook your head quickly, your voice steadying. “no, i’m… glad you did.”

he blinked, caught off guard by your response, but the smallest smile tugged at the corner of his lips. and for a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you no longer feeling heavy—but something closer to understanding.

before you could ask more about the “us” thing—what it meant, what he meant—the sound of your classmates’ voices suddenly echoed through the forest, distant but unmistakable.

the moment between you and beomgyu shattered in an instant, the bubble you’d unknowingly been wrapped in dissolving into nothing.

you both turned toward the noise, his expression shifting almost immediately. the soft vulnerability that had painted his features was replaced by something more guarded. it was like watching a door close, locking away everything you’d just seen.

“looks like we found them,” he murmured, his voice steady but quieter now.

you nodded, forcing a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “right… yay...” you say, trying to mask your true emotions, shrugging off the jacket as you gave it back to him.

as the two of you began walking toward the sound of your classmates, the tension from before had all but vanished, replaced by something unspoken yet undeniably heavy.

but deep down, you felt a pang of something you couldn’t quite name. disappointment? regret? whatever it was, it lingered like a weight in your chest, leaving you more unsettled than you cared to admit.

and as the laughter and chatter of your peers grew louder, you couldn’t help but wish, just for a moment, that you hadn’t found them at all.

⁺ ༄ ༝ ₊

once back with your original peers, the familiar buzz of conversation and laughter surrounded you, bringing a sense of normalcy. the comforting hum of routine should’ve helped ground you, but it didn’t. instead, your thoughts spiraled back to the forest; to the tender and rather intimate moments you shared with beomgyu.

his soft, almost hesitant touch when he helped you up, the uncharacteristic gentleness in his voice, the banter that felt more like a connection than an annoyance… and then there was his small confession, lingering in your mind like an unsolved puzzle.

“us.”

the word echoed in your mind, heavy with unanswered questions. what did he mean by “us”? why couldn’t you shake the look in his eyes when he said it, like it was a truth he wasn’t ready to face?

the day carried on as usual, but your focus was elsewhere. even surrounded by your friends, your gaze would drift toward him. 

and the strange thing was, you weren’t the only one.

more than once, you caught him looking at you. sometimes it was fleeting, his eyes darting away the second yours met his. other times, the moments stretched, and neither of you would look away fast enough.

each glance made your heart thud harder, the silence between those exchanges speaking louder than any words ever could.

as the sun dipped below the horizon and the camp settled down for the night, the realization hit you—you were going back to your room; the room you shared with beomgyu.

your heart rate flared at the thought, your nerves on edge. the memory of earlier replayed in your head—the quiet, the tension, the shared warmth of his jacket.

but this time, you decided you wouldn’t let it all end in ambiguity. no, you’d find out. find out what “us” meant.

as you trudged toward the room, the chill of the night air nipping at your skin, your thoughts raced. this was your last night here, your last night sharing the same cramped space with beomgyu. by tomorrow, this strange, unexpected closeness would most probably dissolve back into whatever it had been before this trip.

if you didn’t do something now—if you didn’t try to get the answers you needed—you might never see this side of him again.

the thought made your chest tighten. you couldn’t let this pass you by.

when you reached the door, you hesitated, your hand hovering over the knob. inside, beomgyu was already there, sitting cross-legged on his bed with his phone in hand. he glanced up when you entered, his expression unreadable.

“hey,” he murmured, his voice low, almost tentative.

“hey,” you replied, your throat tightening as you moved to sit on your bed. the space between you felt heavier than usual, the unspoken words hanging in the air like a fragile thread waiting to snap.

you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, your fingers trembling slightly as you tried to gather the right words. the room was quiet except for the faint rustle of leaves outside the window, the stillness amplifying the rapid thudding of your heart. your eyes flickered directly towards beomgyu, catching the subtle way his fingers fidgeted, the way his gaze occasionally darted toward you and then away again, as if he, too, was battling something unsaid.

finally, the weight of the silence became too much. “so…” your voice cracked, forcing you to clear your throat. “earlier. in the forest.”

his head lifted slightly, though his eyes didn’t quite meet yours. “yeah? what about it?”

you hesitated, your chest tightening as the memories of his words—the softness in his gaze, the tremble in his voice—played over in your mind. “you said something about… ‘us.’” you swallowed hard, the vulnerability in your tone almost too much for you to bear. “i want to understand. i want to know what that means.”

his entire body stilled, his fingers curling into his palms. the tension between you was almost suffocating now, the air thick with an unspoken weight that neither of you seemed ready to face.

he exhaled sharply, a nervous laugh slipping past his lips. “it’s not that big of a deal,” he muttered, his voice lacking conviction.

you couldn’t stand it anymore. the air between you both was thick, suffocating, and every time you tried to get close to the truth, beomgyu just pushed you away again, retreating into his shell. you felt like you were running in circles, chasing a truth that he wouldn’t give you. it was maddening, and you couldn’t hold back anymore.

“beomgyu,” you said, your voice firm and filled with frustration as you stood up from your bed, making your way in front of his. “don’t do this. don’t keep brushing me off. you know this is a big deal, and you’re not going to get away with ignoring it!”

he flinched, his gaze quickly darting to the side, but you could see the tension in his shoulders. he was so close to losing control, and you weren’t going to let him hide anymore. you took another step forward, your pulse racing with every second that passed. you weren’t backing down.

“this is a huge deal,” you pressed, your voice rising with each word. “it’s killing me that you won’t just say it. say what it is, what’s been going on in your head, why you’re so quiet and distant around me so suddenly.” your breath was coming quicker now, your patience running thin. “i don’t care what you’re trying to hide, beomgyu. tell me.”

beomgyu was looking anywhere but at you. you could see how frustrated he was, his chest rising and falling with every breath, his fingers twitching like he wanted to run away. but you weren’t going to let him. you stepped closer again, your voice almost a growl. “seriously, just tell me!”

beomgyu’s frustration was starting to boil over, and the mask of cool indifference that he always wore was slipping, revealing the raw emotions beneath as he finally stands too. “you don’t get it, do you?” he spat, his voice low and trembling with barely contained anger. “i don’t know how to say it. i don’t know how to explain this. it’s so damn frustrating, and you make it even worse by pushing me!”

his words cut through you, and the intensity in his voice made your breath catch in your throat. for a moment, you thought he was going to explode, his emotions flooding out in a wave of pent-up frustration. but then, in the middle of all his tension, his eyes snapped to yours, and what you saw there shook you to your core.

“you think i don’t want to tell you?” he demanded, his voice shaking with a mix of anger and something much softer. “you think i don’t want to just come out and say it? i do, okay? but it’s not that simple. i can’t just… i can’t just tell you like it’s nothing! i… can’t do that. i can’t pretend it’s nothing, not when it’s you.”

his words were laced with a frustration that you didn’t fully understand, but it made your heart race even faster. “you’re so damn difficult, beomgyu,” you muttered, clenching your fists by your sides, “why can’t you just say it? what’s stopping you?”

his face flushed, and you could see his jaw tighten as he wrestled with his emotions. and then, finally, it all came crashing down.

he stepped forward so suddenly that you almost staggered back. his hands grabbed your arms, his grip tight and desperate, yet also gentle and tentative. his voice was a low growl, filled with raw, unfiltered emotion. 

“because, damn it, i can’t just tell you like it’s no big deal. it’s not just some stupid crush—i like you. a lot! and every time i try to act normal around you, it–it feels like i’m going to explode! i can’t just act like it’s nothing because it’s everything; when it’s just you and me, i.. i just can’t handle it. y-you make me so nervous, like i’m walking on a damn tightrope...”

oh.

oh.

you were caught off guard, completely speechless. the words hit you like a punch to the gut, and before you could even fully process what he’d said, he kept going, his grip on you tightening.

“i can’t stop thinking about you,” he spat, his eyes blazing with frustration. “when i’m around everyone else, it’s easy to hide; it’s easy to be loud and obnoxious because that’s the only way i don’t turn into a damn mess around you. but when it’s just us, i… can’t pretend. i can’t be that guy. i don’t know how to be. it’s why i followed you when you got lost in the forest—you make me care too much, so much, that it scares me.”

his voice cracked with the weight of the confession, and his words hung heavy in the air between you, charged with so much emotion that it was almost suffocating. for a long moment, neither of you spoke, just standing there, the tension between you so thick you could practically taste it.

finally, he let out a frustrated breath and pulled away from you, running a hand through his hair, his chest heaving with every breath. “i don’t know what to do with myself when i’m around you,” he muttered, more quietly this time, “i just… i want to be careful. i don’t want to mess things up. i don’t want to ruin whatever this is. teasing and annoying you was all i could do to get even an ounce of attention from you.”

you stared at him, your heart still racing as his words settled over you, and it was like everything that had been confusing and chaotic finally made sense. all of his teasing, all of the weird moments, the way he acted around you— it all came rushing together in one big, undeniable truth.

he likes you. beomgyu likes you.

and just like that, everything felt different. the tension that had been building between you finally snapped, and the weight that had been pressing on your chest seemed to ease, but the tension still lingered in the air.

“you’re… so frustrating, beomgyu,” you whispered, your voice trembling with exasperation and disbelief. 

beomgyu stood frozen for a moment, his expression shifting from confusion to a mix of guilt and frustration. his fingers twitched at his sides, but he didn’t make a move to speak, unsure how to navigate the tangled mess of emotions between you two.

“you seriously just… couldn’t say it, could you?” you continued, your voice rising in both exasperation and something deeper, something that made your heart race. “you had to play all these stupid games, mess with my head, act all ridiculous just for me to finally understand what you were trying to say.”

you could see the way beomgyu’s jaw clenched, his eyes flitting away, as if trying to escape the weight of your words. he ran a hand through his hair again, his lips pulling into a tight line, but still, he remained silent. in the face of your frustration, all he could do was look at you.

“but, you know what, beomgyu? you’re lucky,” you muttered, barely above a whisper, but the words hit harder than anything you had said before. “because, if i didn’t know any better, i… i’m pretty sure i like you too.”

beomgyu’s eyes snapped to yours immediately, his breath catching. his whole body froze in disbelief, and for a moment, the world seemed to come to a halt around you. his lips parted, but no words came out. instead, his hands fidgeted nervously, betraying how overwhelmed he was. his eyes darted between you and the floor, unsure of what to do with himself.

the silence stretched out between you, thick and heavy, making your heart race louder than ever. you could barely breathe as you waited for him to react, but it was your turn now. it had to be.

"you’re so damn frustrating," you murmured, shaking your head. you let out a shaky breath, your words tumbling out with an intensity that surprised even you. "how did we even get here? why couldn’t you just tell me? why do you always have to make everything so difficult?"

beomgyu’s face flushed, but he didn’t say anything. his eyes were still wide, and his body remained tense, as if he wasn’t quite sure how to respond. you could see the vulnerability in him, raw and exposed, and it only made you more certain of what you needed to say.

"i don’t know why, but you—" you stopped yourself, your chest tightening with every word. "i don’t know why, but no matter how annoying you are, you still make my heart race like this. it’s ridiculous. you frustrate the hell out of me, you know that?" you laughed weakly, trying to hide the shake in your voice. "but even when you do, i just... i still can’t stop thinking about you. i still look forward to our stupid banter, even when i can barely stand it."

beomgyu’s eyes flickered with something unreadable, and he took a step closer, as if drawn in by the force of your words. but you weren't done yet.

"and now... after all of this, after seeing the real you, the person behind the jokes, behind the teasing... it’s like i fell for you even more. it’s ridiculous." you let out a frustrated sigh, but your voice softened, almost tender as you looked up at him. "i hate how much i like you, beomgyu. i hate how you make everything so complicated, but i can’t help it. you’re just... you. and i like you. more than i ever realized."

there was a beat of silence, and it felt like your heart was about to burst from your chest. you finally let out a long breath, not noticing that you’d taken another step closer to him until you could feel the warmth of his presence, the heat radiating off him.

beomgyu’s gaze was still fixed on you, wide-eyed, processing everything you had just said. his lips parted, but this time, there were no words—just a shaky breath escaping him as if he was holding back a flood of emotions.

he opened his mouth again, but you reached up, placing a hand gently on his chest, stopping him before he could speak.

"let me just say this," you whispered, your voice steady now, but full of emotions you could no longer hold back. "i get it now. i get why you act like you do, why you tease me, why you hide behind your jokes. but i’m not afraid of it anymore. i’m not afraid of you." you paused, your heart pounding in your chest. "i just want you. all of you."

and in that moment, you saw it—the relief in his eyes, the vulnerability that softened his entire expression. it was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, as if everything was finally out in the open.

beomgyu took a shaky step forward, his hand reaching for yours, but this time, he didn’t pull back. he let his fingers brush against yours, just the smallest touch, but it spoke volumes. his gaze lingered on your face, searching for any hint of doubt, but all he found was the truth in your eyes.

"you really mean that?" he asked, his voice so quiet, yet full of wonder.

you smiled softly, your heart thumping louder in your chest. "yeah. i really do."

beomgyu’s lips parted once more, and for a moment, it seemed like he couldn’t find the words. but you didn’t need them. you both already understood. he stepped closer, closing the space between you two, and without a single word, he leaned down, his lips hovering just above yours.

the tension that had been building between you, from the teasing, the quiet moments, the stolen glances—all of it hung thick in the air. every single moment, every brush of skin, every unspoken thought, seemed to crash down in this instant. there was no more room for uncertainty, no more hesitation. only the rawness of everything you had felt up until now.

and then, without thinking, you both moved in simultaneously. his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss, but it quickly deepened, the weight of everything between you pouring into it. the kiss was slow, yet filled with an urgency, a need to express everything you hadn’t said. the teasing, the frustration, the distance—all of it disappeared with each passing second.

his hands moved to cradle your face, his touch tender, as if he was afraid that even the smallest movement might break the spell. you responded in kind, your hands coming to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm. it was as if all the moments you had shared—those fleeting touches, the playful banter, the shared silences—came together in this one kiss.

it was everything. everything you both had been holding back, everything you had been afraid to say, all flowing into this one moment. the kiss was filled with emotion, the kind of emotion that words could never fully capture. the laughter, the annoyance, the softness, the longing—everything.

you felt him deepen the kiss, his lips pressing against yours more firmly, and for the first time, you both gave in completely. there was no more acting, no more hiding behind jokes or walls. just beomgyu, just you. two hearts finally in sync, beating in time with each other.

when you finally pulled away, breathless, his forehead rested against yours, and you both stayed there for a moment, silently savoring the connection. the air was thick with emotion, and in that moment, nothing else seemed to matter.

and just like that, everything finally fell into place.

“i’m scared to open my locker! what if there isn’t any note inside?” “—and he wrote for me to meet him on the football field after school!” “who do you think yeonjun will confess to? i heard from hana that he was eying her, but mina said the same thing!” “well i heard hana say that jake was going to confess to her today on the rooftop!” “—to meet near the school gates!”

a soft smile made its way onto your lips. confession day—at least the start of it—was always one that made you happy inside. you loved seeing other people finally confess their feelings to to each other. it was also fun for you and your friends to make bets on who would confess to who.

just as you reached for the lock of your locker, you friend yeji ran up to you with a thrilled expression, her black hair flying into her face as she came to a sudden stop. “it’s confession day!” she squealed repeatedly, brushing her hair out of her face and linking her arm with yours once you got your books out. “who do you think will confess to who later today?”

“apparently hana has many suitors,” you shrugged and the two of you giggled slightly as you walked the halls slowly to your homeroom. suddenly yeji turned to you, a playful grin lighting up her face with a scrunched nose. oh god, you thought, what is she about to say?

she tickled your side, making you squirm away with a laugh. “do you think beomgyu is going to confess to you today?” she asked. you swatted her hand away, heat creeping up your neck as you looked forward to try and hide how flustered the question made you. you shrugged again, hopeful smile curling your lips.

beomgyu sat at his desk surrounded by his two friends, yeonjun and soobin. he shifted a sealed envelope from hand to hand, “to y/n” written on it. the red striped tie and dark blue blazer of his uniform suddenly seemed so constricting. “—and tell me exactly what you wrote in the letter,” he heard the tail end of yeonjun’s sentence.

beomgyu had already told soobin just minutes prior and he sighed softly as he dragged his eyes up from the letter. nerves flowed through him as he recounted the letter again for yeonjun.

dear, y/n

would you meet me under the cherry blossom tree by the train tracks after school?

beomgyu

it was a very simple letter, really. beomgyu had wanted to give his confession in person to you rather than through a letter or any other means. yeonjun’s face contorted in thought. “maybe spice it up a little?” he suggested.

“i like it. it’s simple and right to the point. besides, he said he wants to confess in person,” soobin cut in before beomgyu could. yeonjun hummed before nodding slowly. “i guess it could work!”

just as yeonjun finished talking, the homeroom door opened. you and your friend—yeji, who he’s come to know of—stepped through; arms linked as you leaned into each other to whisper something he couldn’t hear. a low laugh emitted from you and beomgyu swore it was the prettiest, most melodic thing he has ever heard.

the sunlight from the open blinds of the classroom cascaded down onto your frame, illuminating you like you were on a stage. beomgyu just couldn’t believe how pretty you were. your eyes connected with his, that bright smile of yours still on your face, and you waved your hand slightly to wave at him. your bright smile turned sheepish as you quickly looked away and you and yeji made it to your seats.

from just one look, beomgyu could practically see your future together. he wanted to be yours and you to be his so desperately. he wanted to do simple day to day activities with you, like helping you with homework and putting your books into your locker. he wanted to take you to the movies and talk about what you decided to see and walk you home after, fingers just barely brushing past each other. you were just so cute.

“look at him, there’s literally hearts in his eyes,” beomgyu distantly heard yeonjun say. his eyes were still on you until fingers snapped in his face, startling him back to reality. soobin pulled back his arm with a laugh and beomgyu rolled his eyes. he glanced back to you briefly, small smile forming on his face before returning his attention back to his friends.

beomgyu looked down again at the letter in his hands. he had meant to put it in your locker this morning before you arrived, but chickened out at the last second. that’s why he was here, enlisting the help of his two idiot bestfriends to ensure everything goes off without a hitch.

soobin laid a hand on beomgyu’s shoulder and patted it comfortingly, “you got this, man! it’s so obvious that the two of you like each other!” yeonjun nodded in agreement. beomgyu sighed and tucked the letter under his books. he hesitantly let their words fill him with confidence and hope. i really hope she does, he thought.

you turned slightly and looked over your shoulder, just barely catching a glimpse of beomgyu. you turned back towards yeji with a lovesick smile. “it’ll happen, don’t worry! it’s so obvious that the two of you like each other!” yeji comforted you. you just sighed and directed the conversation to a different topic. i really hope he does, you thought.

when you were grabbing your bag from your locker, mid conversation with yeji, a small white envelope fluttered to the ground at your feet. yeji gasped as you bent to pick it up with wide eyes. yeji drew closer to you, hiding the letter from the view of the other students making their way towards the entrance of the school. “open it, open it!” she exclaimed.

with a deep breath you carefully opened the envelope that had “to y/n” written on it in familiar handwriting. carefully you opened up the delicate letter and read the contents, yeji beside you taking in every word as well. you froze in shock for a split second before a wide smile broke out onto your face and it took everything in you to keep from jumping up and down.

“he wants me to meet him under the cherry blossom tree by the train tracks…” you breathed lowly, shock still reeling you. you repeated yourself, each word getting louder as you turned and grasped yeji’s hands with excitement and almost crinkling the letter, “he wants me to meet him under the cherry blossom tree by the train tracks!”

you had gathered the attention of the students walking by and heat suddenly spread across your face and immediately calmed you down. unfortunately, just as you shrunk into your locker, your eyes briefly connected with beomgyu’s bestfriend and resident golden boy of your school—choi yeonjun.

he looked in your direction and you just barely managed to catch the smile he gave to beomgyu’s other bestfriend—choi soobin—and the words forming from his lips.

your grip on yeji’s hands tightened as you quickly pulled her towards the girls restroom. “oh my god!” she exclaimed and began jumping the two of you up and down. excited giggles left both of your lips and echoed off the walls of the restroom.

“oh my god,” yeji repeated, suddenly serious. “he means meet him now. you have to go, like, right now!” worry suddenly broke through all your emotions at the possibility of beomgyu thinking that you wouldn’t show. yeji started pushing you towards the door of the restroom.

“oh my god!” you worriedly repeated yeji’s words. in response, all she repeated was, “go, go, go!”

you booked it out of the restroom and out of the school, running all the way until you saw the familiar cherry blossom tree down the hill in front of where the school sat. distantly, you saw beomgyu’s figure waiting for you and you inhaled deeply as you made slow strides towards him. you held the letter close to your heart and tried to control your nerves the closer and closer you got to the tree.

at your incoming footsteps, beomgyu turned to you and you gasped softly and how beautiful he was. a flustered—and somewhat sheepish—smile spread across your face and you stepped just mere inches from where he stood. “i got your letter,” you said as you looked up into his eyes.

the falling cherry blossoms around beomgyu’s head and soft afternoon light framed him perfectly and it made you wonder just how lucky you were that you were the one he chose to confess to.

beomgyu opened his mouth, only to close it and have a matching sheepish smile overtake it. just as he went to open it again, a cherry blossom fell onto his head, caught in the dark strands of his hair. he looked up, just as you did as well, and you both chuckled. “can we start seeing each other?” beomgyu ask you quietly, plucking the flower from his hair and holding it out to you.

if it were even possible, your smile widened and you accepted the outstretched flower. from the corner of your eye saw yeji, yeonjun, and soobin huddle together behind a bush directly across from the two of you. yeji nudged them out of the way to get a good look but accidentally ruffled some of the leaves of the bush. you saw the three of them drop down quick as lightning behind the bush before you or beomgyu could see them.

you nodded and softly spoke, “i would really like that.” a toothy grin spread on beomgyu’s lips. finally, the one he adored the most was his.

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beomgyu was sitting on your couch, strumming chords lightly and humming softly to himself as he polished up one of the songs he was writing. you were in the corner of the room at your desk, proofreading the chapter you had just written. a gasp had left your lips as you stared wide eyed at the bright white screen in front of you.

the strumming abruptly stopped as beomgyu turned to you, “what is it?” you bit down on your bottom lip as you read the paragraph over and over again. you saw him shift in the corner of your eye and knew he was about to come and see for himself. quickly, you changed the tab to the one that held your outline. “it’s nothing,” you turned, smiling over at him. “just realized that i accidentally created a huge plot hole…” beomgyu chuckled before returning back to his song.

that night, you had read over everything you’ve written so far in a flurry. beomgyu was everywhere in your novel. from the main character to the side characters to the love interest. there was no escaping him.

“shit,” you muttered as you trailed a hand down your face, throwing your laptop onto your bed as you got up to get a drink from the kitchen. tiptoeing past beomgyu’s room in your shared apartment, you reached the kitchen quietly, hopeful that you didn’t somehow wake him.

turns out that was pointless since beomgyu was leaning against the counter, eyes trained on you. you jumped and threw a hand against your chest. “why aren’t you asleep?!” you whisper-yelled, even though there was no need since it was only the two of you in the apartment. beomgyu grinned, putting the cup he was holding to his lips, “why aren’t you?” he spoke softly as well and you walked over to join him.

beomgyu shined hazily in the orange stove light and you took a sip from the glass of alcohol you poured as you looked at him. the two of you stood there for a moment, quietly taking in each other’s presence.

“so why are you awake? it’s almost four in the morning,” beomgyu asked quietly as he broke the silence. you looked towards the living room and took another sip from your glass. “i was proofreading… you?” you asked, looking back to him. “songwriting,” beomgyu responded. you hummed, nodding a little. “wanna hear what i have so far?” he then asked. you nodded more and he led you to his room.

beomgyu’s laptop was open on his bed, all kinds of cords connected to it. his guitar was strewn across it, like he had tossed it on his bed haphazardly in frustration. beomgyu picked the guitar up and sat it back on it’s stand near the wall. sitting on his bed, he patted the spot next to him so you could join. then, he put the headphones over your head and pressed play on his laptop.

music traveled through your ears. it was just the instrumental, but already you could tell how beautiful the song was gonna be. you looked over at him, a proud smile on your face when suddenly you heard his voice. it was only soft background vocals, the ones that you could barely make out, but it sounded heavenly. when the music ended, your smile stretched from ear to ear and you raised your hands to cover it. “that was beautiful, beomgyu! seriously!”

he gave you an unsure look, “is it? i’m not really sure about it. i feel like it might mess with the flow of the ep…” you shook your head rapidly, the headphones almost coming off. “no you have to keep it, it’s amazing! it’s gonna be even better once you add your voice.”

beomgyu beamed as he took in your words. “i gotta hear it again,” you grinned, pressing play on the laptop. you faintly heard beomgyu’s laugh behind the music.

you would give anything for all of your nights—or early mornings—to be exactly like this. the two of you here together, side by side. laughing together and sharing your passions together. to stay with beomgyu until the very end.

two years ago, you and your bestfriend beomgyu stopped being bestfriends.

just like you admitting and realizing your feelings for him, it was sudden. as sudden as storm clouds slowly passing over the sky and the fury of rain could be. it was late morning and the two of you were on your couch; beomgyu’s guitar in his lap and you sitting next to him as he strummed. he was playing one of the finished songs he had written, the one he had written for you. beomgyu had called it ‘graze.’

“her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” you sung the lyrics together. beomgyu smiled warmly at you.

beomgyu had given you some insight into the lyrics he had written. the first part, “her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss,” was about the day you had first spoken. it was senior year of highschool and the two of you were paired together on a project. you were meeting somewhere to work on it, but you accidentally walked past the meeting place, completely passing by beomgyu unaware.

the next part, “when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” is when the two of you had gotten close; close enough to share secrets and comfort each other through the thoughts they consumed. everytime the two of you texted, you would end the conversation off with an ‘xxx.’ kisses. it had become your thing with beomgyu, so much so that he wrote it into his song.

when the song had ended, beomgyu suddenly perked up. “let me show you the song i’ve been working on! the one i showed you the other day,” he exclaimed. he started strumming chords, humming softly as he began the song. “i only have, like, one lyric for it right now,” he interjected as he continued strumming.

“too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind…” beomgyu sang to the tune of his guitar. your smile faltered, but you managed to put it back in tact as beomgyu glanced up from his guitar to ask for your opinion. it was a love song he was writing. a love song for someone that wasn’t you.

“it’s beautiful, like all of your songs are. i like the new addition! how long have you been working on it?” you smiled, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. beomgyu began to blush as he turned to set his guitar aside, moving his hair over his ears. the tips of them were red. “for a little bit now. i just can’t seem to find the words of the feelings i want to convey,” he replied.

your glass heart shattered, it’s pieces making its way into your bloodstream. piercing pieces dug into beomgyu’s skin. “who’s the lucky person?” you asked, swallowing hard. he turned back to you and smirked. “just someone i’ve known for a while... i think we’re really starting to hit it off!”

after that day, you started to distance yourself from beomgyu. at first, it was only your feelings. limiting the amount of times you touched in any way or adding space between your bodies when you were near each other. then, it was almost as if the two of you were strangers living in the same place.

beomgyu had definitely noticed. you could feel his lingering look at the back of your neck. hear his questions in the air that hangs between you. but your feelings just wouldn’t go away. maybe they were right when they said that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

you locked yourself in your room, working on and rewriting your book over and over again. trying—and failing horribly—to remove beomgyu from the caverns of it. nothing worked, but you were desperate.

one day, beomgyu was playing his guitar a little too loud while you were in your room writing. usually, this wouldn’t be a problem at all. beomgyu always made sure not to be too noisy when you were writing, even though you always told him how much it helped you to have the background music. but this time, this time was different.

you were frustrated, agitated, still deep in love, and still deep in the great unreciprocated. you had flung your door open and stormed into the living room where he was playing and yelled at him to stop.

beomgyu looked up at you with wide, shocked eyes. it was dead silent for a moment, not even the sound of your breathing was heard. too late you realized what you had done. silently, beomgyu collected his things and made his way to his room, not sparing you a single glance or even a murmur. you watched him, an apology, an excuse on your lips.

the next day after you came home from researching at the library, you found a single note from him that was left on the kitchen counter. “i can’t live here with a stranger anymore,” was all it said. finally, you noticed how empty the apartment looked. how empty it looked for a while now. beomgyu was gone, and it was all your fault.

today, you could barely walk the streets of your city without seeing his face or hearing his music.

“UP AND COMING!” the article’s title had read as they delved into an interview with your former best friend. you pushed the laptop away, even after these two years apart you couldn’t face him. not even through a screen. couldn’t face how you tore your friendship apart because you couldn’t control your own feelings. maybe love just wasn’t meant for you.

you heard a sigh from next to you. “just read it!” your friend, yeonjun, drawled. “you’re mentioned.” you let out a sigh yourself with a roll of your eyes as you grabbed the laptop. “if i’m mentioned, it’s not gonna be something good.”

you scrolled down the article until you got to the part where beomgyu got interviewed. most of the questions were about his debut album and upcoming tour. you haven’t listened to any of his songs since he released his ep. hearing his voice was just too much. your eyes stopped on a question that mentioned one of the songs from his debut ep; your song.

Q. one of your more, if not most, popular song is a song called ‘graze.’ can you give us some input into what the song is about? how you came up with it? BEOMGYU: i actually had written the song for someone who i was very close to at the time. originally, the song was about the dynamics of our friendship. but as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics. speaking of the lyrics, when i wrote the song i had come up with them first and the rest just kinda flowed after that. it was the first song that i had finished for my ep, and the one i was most proud of. i’m really happy that a lot of people enjoy the song!

you inhaled sharply at his answer. “but as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics.” you weren’t expecting him to hold fondness for you after everything, after all this time, but his response did sting.

Q. you mentioned how the meaning of the song lyrics changed, does that tie into the title of the song? was ‘graze’ a double meaning this whole time? BEOMGYU: i guess you could say that! there wasn’t a double meaning at the beginning, but alas… to graze means to be scraped lightly in passing, to break the surface of the skin. but it also means to touch, to caress. to slightly damage or to gently touch.

Q. it also means to take in small quantities at frequent, did you know that? BEOMGYU: i didn’t! see how meanings can change!

blinking the tears brimming in the corner of your eyes away, you look back over to yeonjun. he looked at you with eyebrows raised and you shrugged at him. what did he want you to say? that you missed him? you did. that you wish things were different between the two of you? you do. what is that going to change?

“he mentioned the song he wrote! for you!” yeonjun exclaimed. you shrugged again, “he mentioned the song he wrote for someone he used to be close with. like he said, things change.” yeonjun groaned as he fell into the pillows on your bed.

shortly after beomgyu had moved out, you moved into a smaller, one bedroom apartment. it was eating away at you inside looking at how empty and lifeless your apartment you had shared with beomgyu looked. you couldn’t take how everywhere you looked, a memory of the two of you followed.

“he’s having a show at the arena downtown. we’re going,” yeonjun stated. your eyes widened and you furiously shook your head. “no… no i can’t.” two years and you crossed the street if there was a poster of him up next to the sidewalk. two years and you went everywhere with headphones, music blasting in your ears to cover his playing softly throughout the city. you couldn’t see him face to face. couldn’t watch as his smile faltered and his eyes lost their emotion as he looked at you.

yeonjun reached into his pocket and pulled out two tickets, “it’s too late, i already got the tickets. i can’t watch anymore as the two of you avoid each other. it’s been two years and not once have i seen the both of you in the same room let alone on the same block.” you put your face into your hands as you leaned over onto the bed, groaning loudly.

somehow you forgot that beomgyu and yeonjun were also friends. close friends at that. the two of them were friends before you and beomgyu were. you wanted to curse at the sky. “and don’t even try to find some way out of it either. i will drag you there kicking and screaming if i have to.” yeonjun added.

“but i have to finish writing my bo—“ you started before yeonjun swiftly cut you off. “it’s this weekend, so you have the whole week to prepare yourself.”

when you were alone that night in the comforting isolation of your bedroom, you let yourself scroll through your old messages with beomgyu. let your eyes wander over the ‘xxx’ at the end of your messages. you fingers moved on their own as they began typing out a message.

old apologies, old excuses. you had the nerve to add ‘xxx’ at the end like the two of you were still who you once used to be. you deleted the kisses at the end, deleted the message altogether. it’s not that you would ever send it anyways.

you thought about how your life would be if you and beomgyu weren’t strangers now. if you were more than best friends, getting to know each other again. you imagined late nights of you taking him out to bars in celebration of his new releases. pressing proud kisses to his lips as the alcohol and your love warmed the both of your bodies. shaking your head to yourself, you pushed the thoughts away. no use in daydreaming.

the damning beat of your heart got louder and louder the closer you and yeonjun got to the arena. the closer and closer you got to beomgyu. at the rate your heart was going, the sheer loudness would create a guilty beat for everyone to sing along to.

you handed in your tickets and made your way to the floor. when you read the tickets and saw that they were for the floor, you almost killed yeonjun. you thought you could be sly and sit somewhere in the seats, somewhere where beomgyu wouldn’t have a high possibility of seeing you. you were wrong.

yeonjun grabbed your wrist and pulled you close to the stage. when he tried to pull you right up against the barricade, you pulled away from him and he sighed. the two of you settled close to the stage, but not so close that you’d be touching noses with beomgyu. a compromise.

the lights had dimmed and the crowd had filed in until it was jam packed in the arena. your heart couldn’t help but swell with pride. he did it, he really did. he achieved the one thing he wanted the most, and you couldn’t be prouder of him for it.

the band came on stage and the crowd erupted with cheers and screams from all around you. you looked over to yeonjun, who was cheering along with them. you laughed, the sound being covered, but still there nonetheless. everything only got louder when beomgyu stepped onto the stage. you swear the girl next to you almost passed out.

when you saw him, the spotlight illuminating him—making him look like all of the stars in the sky, it was as if it was only the two of you in the room. the crowd of people around you faded and your breath hitched when he started to look over the crowd with a big warm smile. your face heated and you looked away, hiding so he wouldn’t see you. it’s been a while since you’ve done that.

what were you doing here? what was yeonjun thinking? that he would see you in the crowd and everything would fall into place? that he would call your name and the crowd would part as you made your way to the stage? that he’d take your hand and kiss you in front of everyone, in front of the whole world to see? what a stupid thought.

you wanted to leave but you were trapped from all sides. beomgyu sat on the chair that was placed in the center of the stage, his one and only guitar on his knee that you’ve become so accustomed to. “how is everyone doing tonight? well, i hope!” he said, strumming the strings of his guitar lightly. the crowd erupted again, words barely audible.

shaking your head, you grabbed yeonjun’s arm. “i can't do this, yeonjun. i want to go home.” he turned to you with furrowed eyebrows of worry. the girl next to you gave you an ear to ear smile, “i know right? isn’t he just so dreamy!” in turn, you gave her a barely disguised grimace and turned back to yeonjun. yeonjun laughed at your reaction, “get over it! let him sing to you! we’re staying.” he turned back to the stage and you realized that beomgyu had already began playing a song.

not just any song, the song that he wrote for you. he was singing ‘graze.’ yeonjun smirked at you and you’ve realized you’ve fallen into his trap. vaguely, you remembered that beomgyu always started out his shows with the song he had written for you. you wanted to use his guitar to bash your head in.

“her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” beomgyu sang softly to the tune of his guitar. the live band behind him made the song more layered, in a way you haven’t heard since you’ve first heard the finished song.

“under newborn stars, we bear witness, we watched it all begin. i feel the heat of mars, my worn guitar, like her fingers against my skin,” beomgyu continued the song, the crowd singing along with him. you felt glassy tears in your eyes, threatening to fall. you couldn’t open your mouth to sing, not after all of the circumstances, so your heart sang for you. it was quiet, left only for the empty cathedrals of your ribs to echo back to you.

once he stopped singing, the music continued for a moment, letting everyone take in the song. beomgyu closed his eyes against the bright lights, his hands resting on the edge of his guitar. just as the song ended he opened them, an emotion you couldn’t quite make out in his eyes.

“now, for this next one, it took me a long time to write. two years in fact,” beomgyu spoke as he looked around at the crowd, a slight laugh in his tone. his eyes had just missed yours on his journey and you reeled back slightly in shock, looking up at him with wide eyes. “i just couldn’t seem to find the words to the feelings i wanted to convey. but luckily for you all, i managed to find them,” beomgyu smiled as he adjusted his guitar. “this one’s called ‘tattoos on strangers.’”

those words sounded strangely familiar. out of the corner of your eye, you saw yeonjun look over at you as the crowd cheered. you couldn’t even move to look back at him, to ask why he was staring. you were entirely focused on beomgyu. on the way he looked around the crowd with twinkling love in his eyes. the way he fiddled with his guitar like he was antsy to let the music flow out of him. it entranced you, dazzled you, entrapped you.

beomgyu inhaled sharply, the sound catching in the mic in front of him, as he strummed the chords of one of his songs you’ve never heard before. “we’re two moths to a burning flame; they call us icarus. now all that’s left between our bodies is the sinking bitterness. our eyes are on the sky, the lies we tell each other are to blame.” you gasped at how heavenly he sounded. at the melodic symphonies he was creating. at how familiar yet so unfamiliar the song sounded to you.

there was a beat as the live band picked up volume. “we’re waltzing together, we’ve gone too far. but we can’t help ourselves, we’re sinful, we’re brand new burning stars. gravity is starting to pull us closer and closer, you say it’s starting to lead to our demise. but don’t worry, baby, our silence—the heaviness between us, will be the disguise,” beomgyu continued. his eyes were squeezed shut as he sang. it made you wonder who he intended the song to be for if he was reacting this way.

“there’s no need to apologize, we’ve witnessed this before, i know your true name. like the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain. too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind. don’t delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me instead—just this one time,” beomgyu sang as the song came to an end. suddenly it was as if a light switch lit up the dark room in your brain, a certain lyric ringing bells inside.

“too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind,” you understood why the song sounded familiar to you. it was the song beomgyu was working on right before the two of you stopped being bestfriends. another thought hit you so hard that you stumbled back into the person behind you and yeonjun gave you another worried look. you stared back at him, eyes wide open.

two lyrics stood out to you, “like the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain,” and “don’t delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me instead—just this one time.” you turned to look back up at beomgyu, just as he started singing another song. his eyes were traveling the crowd and at that moment, his eyes connected with yours. they widened and he started to blink rapidly for a second, like he couldn’t believe that you were looking at him.

at the same time, both of your eyes traveled to yeonjun, who in turn gave a sheepish smile. he set the two of you up. desperately you wanted to leave, but yeonjun’s hand around your wrist and the crowd wouldn’t let you.

‘graze’, you knew for a fact was for you, but ‘tattoos on strangers’? there was no denying that he wrote the song about you, down to the referencing lyrics. down to the “don’t delete the kisses at the end.” oh god, you thought, oh god. this whole time… this whole time, he was singing about you. he was singing about you when you thought he was singing about someone else and you ruined it. you ruined everything.

suddenly, it was getting hard to breathe with everyone around you and with beomgyu’s eyes on you. he tried hard to make it look like he wasn’t singling you out, but every couple seconds his eyes would lock on you again. you had no choice but to sit and endure. endure his stare, the slight wildness in his look. endure all the songs from his debut album that you never heard; all of which were about you. all of them. endure the way his heart called out to yours, echoing through his songs, and the way yours called back.

your eyes connect once more—just for the briefest of moments—before you looked away, shyness taking over. your face—no, your whole body—felt like it was on fire. just like a brand new burning star. you felt like all eyes were on you, when in reality all eyes were on him.

finally, you looked up again as he announced the last song in the setlist—‘forethought.’ your eyes meet just as he sings, his eyes only on you, “oh, i hear her voice in the wind sometimes. has she given me any thought? i go back to the pastimes—like wind chimes, it’s not all for naught. my wet knees in the winter, it’s my hopeful crime, it’s my savior... it’s my desperate prayer, i scream out her name into the dying nature—it leads me out the maze so i’m with her. it’s a stranded forethought.” you feel tears well up into your eyes and you see tears well up in beomgyu’s too, hidden by the bright lights to the crowd, but not to you. never to you.

after a moment, he repeats with eyes closed in a silent plea, “don’t linger, don’t linger, light bringer, don’t linger. stay with me—send me your remembrances. please, don’t delete those kisses. don’t linger, light bringer. don’t linger.” the tears fall freely from your eyes at the way his voice softly echoes. echoes just like wind chimes in the blowing wind. you feel yeonjun pull you into a hug as a sob escapes your lips.

you don’t register the concert ending, the crowd getting smaller and smaller until there’s only a few stragglers. you move numbly as yeonjun pulls you along behind him. it’s not until you hear a familiar voice, beomgyu’s voice, that you suddenly come back to life.

yeonjun has taken you backstage. the two of you were making your way over to where beomgyu was standing, talking to someone you didn’t recognize, as he packed up his guitar. again, your eyes met, and you pulled your wrist from yeonjun’s grasp. you turned, wild eyes scanning for an exit as your feet moved without needing your input. “y/n, wait!” you heard voices from behind you. you kept going, the fear pushing you forwards faster.

it wasn’t until you were in front of the night bus, voices behind you as you pushed whatever money you had into the bus driver's hands, that you finally felt like you could breathe. the doors closed and the bus began moving as beomgyu and yeonjun ran up waving frantically. the bus kept moving. you looked through the window, terrified wide eyes reflecting back to you in the glass, at their fading figures. at beomgyu’s dejected eyes and yeonjun’s sorrowful ones. at the breaking of your heart, once again.

sighing heavily to yourself, you faced the front of the bus. what has gotten into you? why would you let yourself think that beomgyu would wait for you after these two long years? it was clear to you that what happened at that concert was a goodbye. and maybe you were okay with that. maybe you didn’t mind. you wiped the tears from your cheeks. it’s okay, you’ve always worked better on your own anyways. without the constant tingling of growing feelings, without the heavy stares that hold so much, without the newborn stars—without beomgyu.

when you get home, you waste no time with the alcohol you have. turning your phone off, locking all your doors and shutting all the curtains. you lay on your bed, drunk out of your mind looking up at the ceiling as you think, what if love’s not meant for me?

five days ago, you went to your ex-bestfriend’s concert and listened as he poured his heart out onto the stage for you; while you ran away from him like the echo of a wind chime in the wind.

beomgyu has taken over your mind. has soared through the mountains of your thoughts and settled gently in the valleys of your desires. lingered in the lakes and puddles and the big vast ocean of your memories. all you’ve been thinking about since the concert was him. he’s completely consumed you.

you had scrolled up and down your messages together, laughing at old jokes and shedding tears at old memories. retelling the jokes he made to yourself and pretending that they were yours to begin with as a permanent smile etched itself onto your features.

maybe this all was a sign. a sign that you should stop hiding in the four walls of your bedroom. a sign that you should find some way to contact beomgyu, rekindle the friendship you once used to have and maybe fan the flames of something greater. you wanted to scream from the rooftops about how much you loved beomgyu. tell the whole world about how he makes you feel and every little thing he does that just fills you with so much warmth.

you were scrolling through the photo album you still had of the two of you. at your silly faces and candid moments. you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face if you wanted to. you felt like a teenage girl, giggling softly as she wrote her crushes name in hearts all over her notebooks. wide smile as she wrote in her diary about how much her crush rocked her world. you didn’t care, you couldn’t help it. beomgyu did—he really did—make you feel this way. he’s turned your whole world upside down.

electricity flowed through you until you were so antsy and electric that you just had to do something before it drove you insane. you needed to tell beomgyu, to let whatever was between the two of you happen. needed to have him around you again after these two long years, even if just briefly. god, you felt like such a romantic cliché, but you felt alive.

opening your phone, you finally replied to all of the messages that yeonjun had sent you. they spanned from worried to disappointed to a resigned sadness. you only sent him one message in response:

you: is he still here?

you held your breath, mentally smacking yourself for not looking up beomgyu’s tour dates beforehand. mentally smacking yourself for not garnering the courage earlier. how stupid you were. your phone dinged from yeonjun’s reply:

jjunie: party tonight at 11:30pm. i’ll pick you up around 11. be ready.

breathing out a sigh of relief you looked at the clock. it was already 10pm. you raided your closet for your best looking outfit, throwing it on as you ran to your bathroom to put makeup on. you wanted to look your absolute best.

11pm couldn’t come fast enough. you were waiting by the door when yeonjun had knocked, him barely getting his second knock in before you flung the door wide open. “is it too late?” you asked him desperately, standing limply in the doorframe. yeonjun just chuckled at you and grabbed your wrist, leading you to his car, “never. not for the two of you.”

on the way over, yeonjun told you how the party was thrown by some big celebrity you never heard of and how beomgyu got the two of you invites. it was for such a good start on his sold out tour and debut album. “like, everyone is gonna be there,” yeonjun said to you as he drove around to find a parking space.

once you found somewhere to park, you and yeonjun made your way to the venue where the party was being held. you passed through all kinds of security until you were faced with blasting music in your ears and bodies dancing everywhere. holding tightly onto yeonjun to not get lost, the two of you scanned the crowd.

“do you want to get a drink?” yeonjun yelled over the music to you. you nodded and he led you through the crowd to where the bar was. the two of you got something and drank them silently by the bar. you felt bad for keeping yeonjun tied to you, so you yelled over the music to him, “you can go and mingle! i’ll be fine over here by myself!” he leaned towards you, furrowing his brows. “are you sure?” he asked and you nodded.

yeonjun made his way through the crowd, turning his charm on as he talked to various people. you stayed at the bar, sipping on various drinks until you felt very tipsy. your eyes scanned the crowd, looking for beomgyu, every minute or so.

that’s when you saw him. he was across the room, holding a glass of something and talking to a group of people, when his eyes drifted and just happened to meet yours. beomgyu rendered you completely speechless. you got a good look at him, not being able to do so that well from his place on the stage, and took in how much he’s changed in the past two years.

beomgyu’s short brown hair was now dark, tinged blue in the low scattered overhead lights. the back of it touched the nape of his neck and the front fell over his eyes and ears. he looked absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful than you remember him being. his eyes widened at seeing you, making the natural liner of his eyes stand out.

suddenly, just like at the concert, it felt like it was only the two of you in the room. his eyes widened at seeing you again, his mouth opening slightly. without knowing it, the two of you gravitated towards each other. then you were face to face, standing in front of each other in the flesh. you couldn’t believe it.

you both said each other’s names at the same time, letting out a nervous laugh after. he motioned for you to continue and you swallowed hard. you were thankful that you were tipsy, that the alcohol was smoothing your nerves, because you definitely wouldn’t be standing in front of beomgyu right now if you weren’t.

“beomie…” you trailed before correcting yourself, you didn’t want to pretend to know him like you use to after two years. “beomgyu… there’s no excuse. no apology even sincere enough—“ beomgyu had cut you off, “y/nie, you don’t have to apologize.”

you shook your head. you knew that you didn’t, that he had already forgiven you and moved past it. hell, he wrote a song about it. but you had to. you had to apologize in at least some way. “no, i do,” you stated. “i shouldn’t have let us drift away, shouldn’t have let us become strangers. i shouldn’t have pushed you away. you were my bestfriend and i was scared. i like you so much, so much that you enveloped me completely. my mind, my book, my life… everything.”

you inhaled deeply, looking longingly into beomgyu’s eyes like you had wanted to do now for so long. “all i thought about was you. all i think about is you. and i miss you. i missed you so much, beomgyu. i love you. i’ve always loved you—“ beomgyu sat his glass on the nearby table as you spoke, then cupped your face gently with both of his hands and collided his lips to yours in a passionate kiss to cut you off. it told you everything he was feeling, everything he’s felt for you for who knows how long now. you felt his song lyrics on your lips. felt how every last lyric was written for you, every melody. every atom of your being colliding with every atom of his and creating a beautiful newborn star.

when he pulled away, he pulled you into a desperate and tight hug. he held you so tight it was as if he thought you were a bird that would fly away. you couldn’t blame him, you kind of were. “i don’t think i need to tell you how much i love you, but i will. i’ll sing it in your ear softly and scream it at the top of my lungs for all the stars to witness, y/n. i love you,” beomgyu murmured into the crook of your neck.

you took his hand and led him out the venue. when you suddenly remembered that yeonjun took you here, beomgyu chuckled as he took you to his car. in the warm glow of your city at night, you pointed to various street signs and turns as beomgyu drove to your apartment.

inside your apartment, the two of you couldn’t keep your mouths off each other. the wanting—the need—lifting you up to cloud nine and making you dizzy. when you both somehow got to your bedroom, you were breathless and hot to the touch.

beomgyu had pulled away from you. “is this okay?” he asked, looking into your eyes. you saw the desire inside of them. you nodded, “yes, just please don’t stop kissing me.” and he obliged, his lips on yours again.

one by one, articles of clothing came off. there was brief awkwardness, the hem of your dress getting caught on the earrings you were wearing and the button of his pants refusing to come undone. it all was alright in the end when the two of you were laying on your bed, you only in your bra and panties and him only in his boxers, his huge bulge pressing into your thigh as he hovered above you.

you were growing needy, the alcohol edging you onwards. “beomgyu… i need you inside me,” you whimpered against his mouth as his hard boner rubbed against you. he hummed, lips moving to your neck, causing you to moan. “i need you to fuck me…” you breathed out. beomgyu pulled away with the slightest upturn of his lips.

he sat you up so that you were now straddling his lap as he reached behind you and unclasped your bra. “next time…” beomgyu murmured. “next time i’ll fuck you. but not tonight. tonight… we stop being strangers.” you shivered slightly at your already hardened nipples being exposed to the cool air. shivering more when beomgyu’s wet tongue circled them.

“is that okay?” beomgyu asked, staring into your eyes as he waited for your response. you nodded, unintentionally grinding against him, and moaned out, “yes.” his fingers had gripped your bare waist at the contact and his eyes shut tightly for a brief moment. “next time… i promise you. let me get to know your body again.”

and get to know your body, he did. beomgyu laid you back down gently and then pulled off your panties slowly while staring down at you, eyes caressing every inch of you. you felt yourself getting wetter by the second, gripping the blankets to keep yourself from pulling him to you.

beomgyu pressed his lips to yours once more as he spread your legs apart. he pressed open mouthed kisses to your skin as he moved farther and farther down your body, looking up at you the entire time. you jolted slightly when he pressed kisses to the inside of your thighs. “you’re so breathtaking, even more than before,” beomgyu spoke, trailing kisses up to your knee. he paused for a second, “i missed you so much, y/n.”

his tongue then swirled around your clit and your back arched off the bed, your hands finding their way into his pretty hair. beomgyu groaned, pulling away from your core with a wet mouth, as you pulled at it. just as quickly, he was back at it, making you moan for him as he devoured you. you creating pretty harmonies for him.

“fuck…” beomgyu said lowly. you could see how hard his cock was in his boxers and it made you need him even more. he then pushed two fingers into you, them slipping in easily with how wet you were for him. beomgyu pulled you up from the bed as he continued pushing his fingers in and out of you, tipping your head back and capturing your lips in a sweet and slow kiss. your tongues danced together, waltz together as you clenched around his fingers.

pulling away, you buried your face in his neck as you whimpered his name. “cum for me, baby,” beomgyu said in your ear softly. you didn’t need to be told twice, your warm release spreading all over his fingers.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, “i-i need you, please… your—your fingers aren’t e-enough.” beomgyu chuckled as he nodded. you released your hold on him so he could take off his boxes, his long and hard cock on full display for you. you used to dream of moments like these.

beomgyu looked at you, asking silently if you were ready. in response, you shakily got to your knees. he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly, you slid down onto him. the both of you gasped at the feeling, moans joining together in a beautiful song as you moved up and down on his cock.

you were giving each other sloppy and needy kisses, beomgyu wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer as he thrusted up into your pussy. you gasped against his lips, your hands laying to rest against his chest. he whimpered as he continued thrusting, “you feel so—so good. so good, baby. do you f-feel good?”

“y—oh… it feels s-so good,” you managed out. you could feel the knot in your stomach tighten with each thrust he pushed into you. with the feeling of his veiny shaft inside you, sending electric currents throughout your body. the feeling of his lips on yours. moaning, you pulled away and rested your forehead on beomgyu’s. “i’m gonna c-cum again, gyu.”

he moved you so your back was against the bed again, your legs wrapped around his waist and his cock still deep inside you. groaning at the new angle, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. “let me help you, baby. l-let me do the work,” beomgyu mumbled before you kissed him.

in passionate thrusts, you came around him again and a few seconds later you felt his warm cum pour inside of you. his hips jerked against yours and he let out a whine as he rolled into you, not planning on slowing down. “b-beomgyu…” you whimpered, gripping him tighter and throwing your head back so you were staring hazily at the ceiling. you didn’t know how much more you could take.

“l-look at me, my pretty baby, i n-need to see your face,” beomgyu said between hard pants. between the sounds of your skin slapping together and the wet sounds of him entering and exiting you repeatedly. you looked at him through knitted brows, your fingers in his hair and pulling his head back. “f-fuck… god, you d-don’t know what you d-do to me,” he murmured, eyes shutting for a moment. you pulled him down to kiss his jaw. “feels… feels so…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you clenched around him again.

beomgyu was twitching inside you more and more and you could tell he was overstimulating himself just to make you feel good. his words of praise were being slurred as he stared deeply into your eyes, breathing erratically.

when the two had came together, you couldn’t take anymore. your legs were shaking badly and your back was beginning to ache from how much you kept arching it. pushing beomgyu away until he was hovering above you, you barely managed to whimper out in a whisper, “c-can’t take it a-anymore, beomie…”

at your words he slipped out of you slowly, groaning loudly as you clenched tightly around his poor cock the whole way out. “y/n…” beomgyu moaned. he hovered above you for a moment, forehead pressed to yours and arms trembling, before falling down next to you. beomgyu pulled you towards him until you were wrapped in his body. you tried not to think about how his still half hard cock was up against your sensitive pussy. his breath fanning your skin and sending a shiver up your spine.

the two of you stayed like that for a couple minutes, coming down from your highs and breathing the same air. beomgyu had been trailing lines down your torso with the tips of his fingers, leaving goosebumps in his wake. you could feel his smile against your cheek at the way your body reacted to his touch.

when you both were strong enough to get up, he cleaned the cum from between your legs and his with a warm and wet towel and then guided you to the bathroom. beomgyu drew a bubble bath for the both of you, helping you inside of it when your legs began to shake and your knees almost gave out.

now you laid back against his chest inside the bathtub, one of his hands trailing up and down your arm with a washcloth and the other wrapped tightly against your lower stomach. “you don’t know how long i’ve wanted this…” beomgyu trailed off softly. you turned slightly so you could look up at him. “you don’t know how long i wanted this either. how long i wanted to be with you in general.”

beomgyu smiled warmly down at you, that same warm smile he would give you every time you sang together. “how long?” he asked, playfulness slipping into his tone. “for as long as i can remember,” you giggled. “for as long as i’ve known you.” he pressed a kiss to your temple, the action sending ripples to your heart. “i’ve wanted it for longer,” he replied, laughing when you playfully scoffed up at him. “this isn’t our first life together.”

that sentiment made you turn in the tub to face him fully, your eyebrows knitting together and your eyes full of fondness. it almost brought tears to your eyes. “beomgyu…” you murmured as you cupped his face softly and brought your lips to his. you kissed him slowly, trying to show him how much you loved him through it. your actions and words alone will never be able to fully express how you feel for him.

after the two of you cleaned up more in the bath, you laid side by side in your bed. thankfully, you still had some of beomgyu’s clothes that you just couldn’t get rid of from when you still lived together and you would steal them. you were in one of beomgyu’s old shirts now, body up against his in the darkness of your bedroom.

“i’m gonna miss you when you leave to go back on tour. i don’t want you to leave,” you whispered softly into the darkness. you weren’t very good at expressing your fears out loud, clearly. but you had to let him know. had to let him know that you didn’t want this to be just a one time thing and you never see each other again. “so come with me,” beomgyu replied at your same tone, simply. “come with me and we won’t have to miss each other.”

you couldn’t help but think of the lyrics of the song he wrote for you, the one the two of you would sing together. “over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss.” he was right about ‘graze’ having a whole new meaning in his interview. first, it meant the longing between the two of you. always dancing around each other, fingertips always seeming to just brush up against the other’s but never fully grasping. then, it meant the two of you drifting apart. missing the opportunity to admit your feelings and be together. and lastly, right now. right in this moment, the two of you together again after two long years. missing each other until your heart aches even though you’re right next to each other. it is funny how meanings change.

“okay,” you giggled softly. “i’ll come with you.” you weren’t going to linger. he was right, this wasn’t your first life together, you could feel it. you were gonna stay with him forever. beomgyu pulled you closer, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

last night, your world was turned back on it’s rightful axis as you and your bestfriend beomgyu—your lover beomgyu, sealed the two of your souls together.

that morning you both had woken up to a ton of missed calls and a plethora of text messages. you both stared at each other with wide eyes after realizing that the two of you had basically silently walked out of the celebration that was held for beomgyu. yeonjun scolding the two of you when he realized that not only was beomgyu not at his own party, but that you weren’t there either.

quick kisses and giggles were shared as beomgyu raced to get ready for the schedule he had to do today. “text me, okay? i want to hear from you. i’ll let you know when we’re leaving for the next stop, so get your bags ready,” beomgyu said, throwing his coat on and pressing another kiss to your lips, deepening the kiss for just a moment before he pulled away.

you were standing by the door, a lovesick smile on your face, “i will!” you giggled as he stalled more and pulled you into a hug. “and don’t delete the kisses,” he whispered, kissing your cheek before finally making his way through the door. you waved goodbye to him and shut the door, immediately pulling out your phone.

you: i’ll see you later today. good luck on your interview! xxx

there was an immediate response from him and you giggled as you read it and responded.

beomie: thank you, baby! i love you!! you: i love you more!! xxx beomie: i love you more than there are stars in the sky!!! you: and i love you more than there are galaxies in our universe!!!! xxx beomie: okay… you win… but only because i can’t think of anything better!!!

laughing, you went to your room and started packing the things you needed for beomgyu’s tour.

two years ago—four since the beginning—you left the kisses at the end of your messages to your boyfriend beomgyu.

you were backstage just before one of his shows with him and yeonjun. beomgyu’s arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his side. your mouth was currently hung open in shock at yeonjun’s revealing news.

“i’m sorry, y/nie, but i just had to tell him. two years i had to listen to the both of you cry over each other—two years! i couldn’t do it anymore. i had to tell him about the things you were saying!” yeonjun sighed dramatically as if he were so defeated. you pushed his shoulder lightly, “you ass! then you had the nerve to set the two of us up at beomgyu’s concert with the tickets he gave you!”

beomgyu let out a laugh from next to you, laughing louder when you turned a playful glare to him. “if i didn’t…” yeonjun trailed as he spoke to you with raised eyebrows, “you two wouldn’t be together right now. now would you?” you rolled your eyes at him, wrapping your arms around beomgyu and laying your head on his chest.

“i’d like to think we would find our way back together,” beomgyu spoke, looking down at you. you smiled up at him in return. “uh huh…” said yeonjun, causing the three of you to erupt into laughter.

since beomgyu’s debut album and tour to go along with it, he’s released two more albums. all of the songs about you, once again. in every interview he had, he gushed about you to whoever would listen. you’ve also finally published your book, deciding to let beomgyu’s essence flow through the entirety of it. you couldn’t remove him even if you tried. and trust, you had tried.

one of the staff members gave a signal to beomgyu and he nodded back and gave a thumbs up. it was almost time for him to be on stage. for the first time ever, you were singing ‘graze’ and ‘forethought’ together with their whole new meanings.

you stared at beomgyu’s stunning side profile as he peeked out to the crowd. you almost laughed at yourself, at your past thoughts. of course love was meant for you. of course you and beomgyu were meant to be together, meant to be in love. meant to share each of your lifetimes and universes and supernovas and nebulas and brand new brightly burning newborn stars together.

of course the two of you were meant to love each other forever, how could you ever think differently?

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