UBW Abridged-Based Starters Pt. 1
‘ Fine, I get it, I’m up! ‘
‘ Gonna get magical up in here! ‘
‘ Aid me as I Murder-Death-Kill. ‘
‘ Get dunked on, school! ‘
‘ Has school ever let me meet a hero of the past? ‘
‘ 100 Percent maximum No Chill! ‘
‘ My living room! You broke my house. ‘
‘ I saw a spider, so I threw a table at it. It survived, so I threw a cabinet. This continued, the spider escaped. I assure you I mean to track it down. ‘
‘ And surprising nobody, I totally succeeded! ‘
‘ I’m the Master - yours of course - who’s going to be engaging in the time-honored tradition of indiscriminate murder during this generation’s Murder-Death-Kill. ‘
‘ What makes you think I’m the type who would so callously slaughter at you behest? ‘
‘ Making personal decisions isn’t in your wheelhouse right now, capiche? ‘
‘ I figured it out! You’re actually Satan! ‘
‘ I command you to not attempt to condemn my soul into the fiery pits of hell, or perform any conned activities including, but not limited to, ritual sacrifices! ‘
‘ Do you have any idea how valuable those are?! ‘
‘ The power of seals compels you! ‘
‘ What in the world is wrong with you?! ‘
‘ Hello, ‘Actually Satan’. ‘
‘ Do. Not. Fuck with me. ‘
‘ Who else can say they ordered Actually Satan to clean their house? ‘
‘ Get dustin’, Lucifer! ‘
‘ It’s too bad you didn’t summon Lucifer. You two might get along. ‘
‘ Woah! Actually Satan’s got a knack for carpentry. ‘
‘ *gasp* Maybe he’s Actually Jesus! ‘
‘ I’m really going to have to resist that you stop calling me Satan. ‘
‘ Seems like a pretty Actually Satan answer to me, Lucey-Goosey! ‘
‘ Wouldn’t you be concerned if your Servant was actually the Devil? ‘
‘ Shouldn’t you be in school today? ‘
‘ Shouldn’t you be tormenting the souls of the damned? ‘
‘ Why do you hate yourself so much? ‘
‘ This is the Murder Park. ‘
‘ That explains the hatred in the air. ‘
‘ So what you’re saying… is that the Devil is a state of being. ‘
‘ Like everything else about me, you’ve correctly deduced that the correct answer is: I’m the Devil! ‘
‘ Because magic! I don’t know! ‘
‘ I guess we should flee and… forego this conversation with reckless abandon! ‘
‘ Oh gosh! We have to flee immediately! Or we’ll surely die! ‘
‘ Yeah, I’m not doing that. ‘
‘ … no, ___, I’m not carpet bombing the city! ‘
‘ Of course you’re not, silly, it was just a thought. ‘
‘ … this is my life now. ‘
‘ Nah, just some nerd. Who should mind their own business!