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@sxanguis
;;—tgif y'all, which means i'm online.

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;;——ew a crushing sense of worthless sort of hit me, fucking depression is just crippling these days and now i can't help but feel insecure about my roleplaying. i haven't been on that reliably but i'm just going to sneak offline see ya next weekend cause this weekend i'm doing shit so yeah. peace.
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝ It would be wise if you stop you incessant crying because really what are you accomplishing? Your tears will ward me away? It would stop all of this from happening? Whether you like it or not the proverbial clock has struck out for you. Time's up and I'm here to collect.
DEMA:
”If you were sorry you wouldn’t have done it. Everyone leaves, Dema. Always. Only the really stupid ones come back. I had no idea where the fuck you were or if I should care. I don’t want food. I want you to get upset. Why the hell would you leave like that?”
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝Perhaps I am stupid—indeed I am a fool for abandoning nor can I really explain why I left: maybe instinct or impulse? I don't know for certain. Prior to you, I never had anyone so the impact of my absence never occurred to me, not in the same way it does now. Did you care, did you miss me like I've missed you Leonardo? Because it is that longing that brought me back, I know that isn't much compensation but—-
his words seemed to fail him as he was met with hard eyes of his only friend, a friend who he abandoned without the slightest regard. dema had always considered himself to be a beast but seeing his reflection in the artist's give him a new sense of awareness of how heartless he was had he been this blind? blind to anything but his own darkness? he cast his gaze for the ground, throat dry.
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝I'm not upset. I'm just ashamed, of my actions and how they hurt you. When I left I never meant to hurt you. I just, I just don't know.
his eyes snapped up again as he searched within Leo's with a new urgency because Leo had to see that he was unwell. that he hadn't meant to run him from but run away with his darkness, spare him the sight of his own self-destruction.
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝I just thought I was doing the right thing, sparing you the sight of me, consumed by that darkness. I never wanted you to see me how you saw me in my apartment. I never want you to see that weak.
he spoke those gritted teeth as the ghosts of his brother's hands found themselves on his body again. he desperately wanted the companionship that Leonardo had to offer; he wanted to bare witness to great things that the artists would surely create for himself as well as the world but immortal had his share of skeletons, his sides that were best hidden in the dark.

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“I don’t want to talk to you unless you’ve brought food.”
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝Leonardo, I understand that I've made a mistake with, taking an extended leave without mentioning anything but I'm back now. Doesn't that mean anything to you? I—I apologize. I can get food if that's what you want.
He smells like cigarettes and mistakes.
(via caelestispunk)
{ ;;Headcanon }
Humanity (Part One )
Dema has complicated relationships with humanity as a species as well as the concept of humanity. While he is always fascinated by mortals and their creations, their advances and sense of curiosity and wonder about the universe; he is also appalled by the way they can treat one another with no gainer purpose, how their level of cruelty towards their own is unmatched in it’s magnitude and senseless. The list of this he distastes about humanity is a long; their ignorance, their inclination towards hate, their shortsightedness as just to name a few but with the years he has learned to live upon them out of boredom.
{ ;; Headcanon
Gender
Dema considers himself to be agender as well as genderfluid, since he had existed long before humanity and it’s gender constructs he sees no reason to obey those constructs. He is aware how gender and gender expression are both ever-evolving so he refuses to constricted to any sort of norm. Despite the fact he presented himself in male presenting forms he doesn’t always identify with these forms. While he doesn’t bring up the matter often he is content with the use of a variety of pronouns whether they be the traditional masculine and feminine pronouns to neutral ones. He refers to himself usually based on the form that he is in to avoid the tedious of explaining the complexity of gender to strangers. He will do so if he develops a strong enough connect with a person, mostly likely explain how his behavior which tends not to apply to the traditional ideal of male is not related to female or male and how he feels fluid. He is unapologetic about this part of his identify and won’t hesitate to place someone in their place if they were to question it.
◤ ☾◥ ———— self isolation is what they did. having convinced themselves that the best company could possibly have is with themselves. one could suppose that denial was a means to battle the loneliness but dema and loneliness seemed to have a affair—a relationship passionate but corrupted, the entwined hearts of two life-long friends.
they frown at the mention of leaving their apartment. what do morals have to offer them? not a damn thing in their humble opinion, preferring to walling in privacy than in public.
❝I don't have the foggiest intention of what you are talking about. I'm fine, perfectly so. In fact, I never been better being alone.

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◤ ☾◥ ———— they might had wished that they could feel sympathy but then again they really did. things as tedious as mimicking human emotions weren't of essential when there wasn't a clear benefit in sight. so instead, they simply cleared their throat hoping that this blatant display of dismay could cease. seeing others crying made them feel rather uncomfortable.
❝Could you stop that? It's rather annoying.
+sxanguis
sxanguis liked this post for a thing with Amelio
"I call bullshit."
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝About what exactly?
they countered, raising a nicely plucked brow. their voice monotone, it's edge sharpened by slight curiousity—slight. like life their interest was ever-fleeting.
;;——like this for a starter!
dema is a quiet creature and so was their contentment, the subtle happiness kept in their chest, warming their frozen frame. their lips curled into a smile as they fought the urge to shelter these brilliant grins from the world with gloved hands.
thoughts of their best friend had lightened his spirits , making them an impatient man. dema would have appeared in the artist's home without a second thought to satisfy his craving to be in his company but alas he was away and the immortal was left to their own devices. frowning in frustration, they hovered around their home attempting to simulate by other means but to no avail. he missed his friend and groaned in his frustration.
❝Damn it Leonardo. Damn you for capturing my attention even if your absence.
❝ IF YOU’RE NOT comfortable sharing you don’t have to. But remember that you’re allowed to tell me anything. And it doesn’t leave this room. ❞
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝I'm not uncomfortable. It's just I never had anyone to disclose this information to, that is all.
he assured, lips curling into a small smile. a subtle warmth began to radiate as joy overcame them at the prospect of sharing their admiration for the man. his gaze had yet to shift back to robert but their posture relaxed.
❝He's my friend. Leonardo is my only friend if I were to be frank but that's enough. In fact, it was more than enough Leonardo is just so immense of a personality that he is all I need.

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sxanguis:
❝ IS LEO SOMEONE you’re close to? ❞
Robert’s job is not to criticize someone on their beliefs, interests, or ideas. He’s here to listen and observe.
◤ ☾◥ ———— ❝Perhaps.
fingers run themselves through their hair: the most favorable feature of the immortal as he falls silence, measuring his words. he was uncertain what to share and if disclosing the nature of their relationships won't be professionally?—then again it was this man's purpose to listen?
all this considered, dema chose silence.
sxanguis:
HE FILTERED A smile onto his face; something friendly and personable without the look of familiarity most smiles had. This was a smile for clients. Not friends. At least not yet.
❝ That’s good. What else do you like? ❞
◤ ☾◥ ———— dema notices but says nothing. he notices a lot of things but says nothing because most of the time there wasn't much to say. the muscles of his mouth bounce as they attempt to return the gesture but fails.
❝Things I like—-? I like gardening. I like black. I like Leo.
if they could blush they would but alas blood didn't course through frozen veins but they appeared flustered as they clear their throat shifting their gaze once more.