they should invent a grief that doesnât define you in new and strange ways for the rest of your life
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they should invent a grief that doesnât define you in new and strange ways for the rest of your life

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the thing about code or language switching is that its almost always context-based and purposeful. strip it of its context and it becomes frivolous and meaningless.
the reason âhola mi nombre es juan. oh my god I didnât realize I was speaking spanish.â is ridiculous is because itâs exceedingly rare anyones going to accidentally switch languages. in everything everywhere all at once, they speak chinglish to each other. they never accidentally speak mandarin to deirdre in the IRS office for example because that would be ridiculous.
eeaao is such a splendid depiction of this. especially due to the varying levels of mastery across their generations. its clear joy understands mandarin but doesnât speak it (except when jobu is trying to be dramatic). she doesnât have enough grip of cantonese to tell gong gong that ruby is her girlfriend but she understands enough to know evelyn doesnât say it. you have to understand that Both of these things can be true for this scene to hit so hard. in particular, i love the back and forth between waymond and evelyn. she fully switches to english when speaking to alpha-waymond. but switches back and forth with her waymond in a way that feels so reflective of speaking languages that represent home in different ways. with an ease you can only grow into with someone having grown up in both environments.
There are also so many more layers to this, especially in how Mandarin vs Cantonese vs English is used
So as a preface: Cantonese and Mandarin are two dialects of Chinese but they are fairly different grammatically, and while many people in Hong Kong and Guanzhou (Canton) region speak both, understanding one dialect if you only speak the other is more or less impossible. Native speakers of one often treat the other as a second language.
so in the prime universe, Evelyn speaks Cantonese and only Cantonese with prime!Gong Gong, who is never seen speaking any other languages aside from Cantonese. He barely understands Joy's broken Mandarin and only offers a berating response to her in Canto. Waymond and Evelyn's Chinglish is a mix of Mandarin and English together, but they mainly speak English with Joy, and she can barely understand her mother tongue.
between prime!Gong Gong and prime!Waymond, Waymond is only ever talked at. Gong Gong speaks to him in Cantonese (which he presumably understands) but he only replies back in Mandarin once. There is very little direct communication between them without Evelyn.
so you have a major language barrier between Joy and her grandfather and minor language barrier between Waymond and Gong Gong - they have the means to communicate and could understand eachother, but it takes tremendous effort to do so.
and Evelyn has to navigate all three worlds, between her daughter, her father, and her husband, and be the bridge between them all, and be the balance and the tether and their touchstone. Which is such a brilliant metaphor for generational disconnect here and how Evelyn really is in the centre of all that chaos â but it doesnât stop there.
most crucially, Mandarin and Cantonese are used for the emotional and private and intimate dialogues between Evelyn, Waymond and Gong Gong. In all their flashbacks, in the kung fu/movie star universe, and also when Evelyn and Waymond talk about their domestic life in the IRS building - their divorce, their marriage, their daughter - conversations about the matters of the family are in Chinese.
Which leads us to: the alphaverse Wangs all speak English with each other and exclusively in English. Alphaverse!Waymond calls Alphaverse!Gong Gong âsirâ, Alphaverse!Gong Gong tells prime!Evelyn to kill Joy in English. The only time prime!Evelyn talks to alpha!Gong Gong in Cantonese is when she confronts him about letting her go.
English is depersonalised in the movie â itâs used practically and for exposition and to communicate quickly, while Chinese usage is infinitely personal. (really the first clue that we get that Waymond isâŚ..different is when he speaks to Evelyn in English with no Chinese at all).
And the most ironic thing about it all: the universe where the Wangs all understand and communicate perfectly is also where the family is most broken - alphaverse Waymond thinks that his own daughter is no longer capable of mercy or worthy of saving. Alphaverse!Gong Gong thinks he has to kill Joy in every universe.
Yes the remaining alphaverse Wang family all understand each other, but without Evelyn, with their mother tongues removed, they might not be a family at all.
Polish movie poster for Goncharov by Waldemar Ĺwierzy. Due to delayed release behind the Iron Curtain, the film started screening year later in 1974, which is also the year this poster was made. A classic example of Polish School of Posters.
"im going to fuck you silly" okay im going to fuck you serious . im going to fuck you professional
two characters who understand each other like no one else does and therefore hurt each other like no one else can

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new au idea: you're a telemarketer and i screw with you by pretending i'm the receptionist for a veterinary clinic-cum-taxidermy specialist but somehow you keep calling because you want to hear the cats purr so now i get more calls than ever and you never figure out why i'm on call 24/7
1200 x 1800
sorry I can't hang out today, I'm partaking in a vivid mass hallucination of a 1973 mafia thriller by martin scorsese. Yeah it's gonna be all day
As Goncharov lies bleeding out, his last memory is that of a clandestine meeting with Andrey, several decades ago. Both of them use aliases for this - Goncharov introduces himself as Rasmus Lofvgren, and Andrey as Felix Strauss. In long overcoats and felt fedora hats, the two meet at nighttime in a park overlooking the city. Andrey looks young and unburdened, and Goncharov greets him warmly like an old friend. They hug, they laugh, and make small talk, like theyâve been doing it for years and will do so for years more.
Then as their conversation fades, there is a gesture of sudden and unexpected intimacy. The two men still, turn to eachother and Goncharov lights Andreyâs cigarette with the fire from his own. He cradles Andreyâs face with shocking tenderness that speaks of a casual familiarity and Andrey leans into the touch, almost indulgent. There is a moment of tension between them before Andrey looks down, uncharacteristically coy. The camera lingers as they stare at eachother for a few seconds before turning away. As they turn towards the glittering city that will doom them, we fade back to a dying Goncharov.
The nature of the scene is intentionally ambiguousâ Andrey has only known Goncharov a few months, so chronologically, itâs out of place. Is it a false memory, a hallucination, or the wish fulfilment of a dying man?
Further examination shows another layer. Goncharovâs chosen alias was that of an actor best known for playing a time traveller, a low-budget sci-fi show whose key theme was defying your destiny. Andreyâs was that of a thespian who was playing a London National Theatre post-modernist production of Odysseus at the time. They are pretending to be other people, who pretend to be other people â actors whose characters escape their tragedy, from stories that defy fate. As if, in telling himself a story where tragic characters can escape, Goncharov puts himself in a story where he, too, can survive.
But the story is already over and nothing can be changed. Goncharov dies a lonely, desolate man, having alienated everyone who cares for him and the last act of tenderness we see him commit never even happened.
âFrancine Rubek, Violent Delights, Violent Ends: On Queer Readings of Masculine Tragedy (2003, Oxford University Press)

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GONCHAROV (1973)
âhope this doesnât awaken anything in meâ is the funniest phrase because it always does. it always will. from personal experience things have already started to rouse from their slumber before i even get the first three words out
something has certainly awakened. it is wide awake and loud, already. and, by god, is it an issue
so i have a mildly popular âreblog and put in in the tagsâ post going around and its. very clear how many people donât know how to interact with a tumblr post
so, first of all, tumblrâs culture has changed a lot in the past couple years. thereâs a genuine community effort to not start any drama, and ironically a lot of the current hostility is an effort to keep things calm. thereâs also a change in how people interact with posts, so if you havenât been here in a while please skip down to the tags/replies/reblog with text section.
for newcomers: you should be reblogging posts about as liberally as you would like something on twitter. if you only like stuff, people will think you are rude/a bot. youâve probably heard people talk about âcultivating your dash,â and thats because this platform is 100% centered around your dashboard. trending matters less, unfollowing and blocking in order to shape your dash into itâs best form is widely accepted, the majority of the content youâll find and interact with will be because of your dash, and the only way to put things on your dash is to reblog them. tumblr users are deeply distrustful of algorithms and have largely turned off the âsee posts your friends have likedâ function (i recommend you also turn of the various algorithms in settings â general settings â dashboard preferences).
so, once youâve reblogged a post, thereâs three ways to add content to it. the tags, replies, and reblogging with text. all of them have different connotations
the tags: an inside voice. originally they were meant for organizing your blog (and theyâre still used for this), but theyâve also morphed into a way to share thoughts that arenât funny/insightful enough for non-followers to be interested in. when in doubt, put your comment in the tags
replies: basically talking to your friends in class. your followers have no way of finding your replies (they donât pop up on the dash, nobody gets notified except for the original poster) so chances are, only the person who made the post is gonna see your comment. itâs for quick one-offs that youâre okay with other people overhearing, but really is only made for one person. theyâre like a public dm
reblog with text: an outside voice. youâre getting up on a stage in town square and entertaining people. make sure itâs funny or insightfulâ bottom line, add something new to the conversation. you should use this the least
general rules of thumb:Â
when in doubt, reblog. people will judge you if your blog is only personal posts and you only interact with other content by liking it. Â
the only things people will judge you for reblogging are personal vent posts. leave a like to give a little virtual hug
if a post is asking about your personality/opinions (i.e: tell me whatâs the last tv show you watched, that kind of thing) put it in the tagsÂ
also if you see a nice edit, gifset, or art, reblog and say something nice in the tags! itâs that nice sweet spot of common enough that no one will notice but uncommon enough to make the artistâs day
One thing re: ways to engage I havenât seen a lot of people bring up: the reason people started using the tags as a form of comment is because when you reblog and add your own text, it doesnât get hidden like on twitter. Itâs added to the bottom of the post. Everyone who reblogs it from you afterward will have your addition included.
If everyone comments inane things like âLol! so true!â and âWow I canât believe this!â the comments will all be added to the end of the post and it will become extremely long and difficult to scroll past on mobile. So instead, people started using the tagging system to add comments, because your tags will not be carried over to subsequent reblogs unless someone intentionally preservers them (thatâs what they mean by âpeer reviewâ)
The OP can still see your tags, and other users can too if they click the notes and filter the reblogs to show âtags and commentsâ, but it doesnât make the post artificially long and obnoxious.
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sir please thatâs my emotional support group of mutuals who I never interact with but still care deeply about

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sir please thatâs my emotional support group of mutuals who I never interact with but still care deeply about
are you gay
I want a lawyer
Carnally?