Seven Weeks to Armageddon

“I don’t know really, I just… I looked up what was wrong with it and followed the directions.” That’s really as simple as it was to him, and yet Stolas had found that apparently reading directions on how to fix something and then following them was a unique skill. He had to admit it felt good to have a skill like that, even if it felt as natural as just reading. 

Blitzø pushed in beside him, no concern as usual for personal space. He typed out a string of gibberish and sure enough, it printed. “YES! FUCK YES!” He cackled. “Okay now we can print out those flyers without having to deal with that dipshit at store. ‘Menace to life and limb and property’, I’ll fucking show him menace…”

With the imp now fully commandeering the computer, Stolas stepped away, taking a watering can on the counter and striding over to a few pots outside on the balcony table. Some humble sprouts perched in them with vines unfurling over the metal grating. “Thirsty, little darlings?” 

Their leaves twitched and relaxed as he watered them. His mind went back to the first plants he’d cultivated when he first began exploring herbology. They’d grown to be so proud and mighty… up until he’d been kicked out of his home. And by now if they hadn’t been frozen over, that bitch Stella and her brother had certainly tossed them out!—

No. 

Stolas shook his head. No, he was getting caught in that thought process again. He’d get so caught up in his hatred towards them that he’d only distract himself. Just… one thing at a time. First, the plants. He kept measuring out their water. Then, time at home. He had specifically scheduled  ‘unstructured free time’ today so that he could come back tomorrow refreshed and ready to crack the problem. Appealing his case was already difficult when he had, of course, openly confessed to conspiracy. Appealing such a difficult case to Satan was going to take longer than the ninety-nine remaining years in his sentence. 

And then there was Via. 

Stolas couldn’t help it. He let himself get distracted, looking over the edge of the balcony to Imp City.  The avenue below was filled with imps criss-crossing the streets and sidewalks. In the distance taller towers reached the red sky, and he could just make out a screen advertising VoxTech. On the far distant side of the Pride Ring near Pentagram City, he knew, Via was huddled in the manor. 

He still couldn’t believe himself. He could’ve come up with another story, made some other statement to the court, but he’d just said the first thing that came to his mind to save Blitzø’s life. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Now she thought he didn’t care about her, that he’d been trying to escape her. She hated him, and… it was his fault. 

So it was on him to fix this.

“Hahaaaa, we are good to GO!” Blitzø came out behind Stolas, a thick wad of pamphlets in his hands. “Tomorrow I’ll send M’n’M out to run these through the sinner neighborhoods. Get them on every light pole. Holiday season’s coming up, deadliest time of the year in the living world, so that means plenty of fresh customers!” With a satisfied sigh he looked out over the street and city along with Stolas. Then back up at him. “Whatcha looking at?”

“Oh nothing, just thinking…”

“Yeah? What about?”

Stolas just met him with a sad, pointed look. 

“Right, right…” Blitzø looked away…before rushing back inside. “Hold on, stay right there, don’t move. I was gonna save this for later but fuck it.” He dropped the papers on the counter before rummaging into the bag again. “You know something? Streets were crawling with reapers today, saw like three of them!” The imp started ripping open some containers.

“Really? Must have been looking for someone. Either a sinner got too big for their boots, or a hellborn crossed one of the Goetia…”

Blitzø scoffed at the twisted humor, “Don’t I know it. Whoever it is is a poor rat bastard…” He came back out to the balcony again. “Guess what I gooooot. Horse dovers!”

“...I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me right! Horse dovers! Rich people food!” And with a grin he held up a plate. It was filled with plain soda crackers topped with ripped up slices of cheese and salami  and olives, all held together with toothpicks. 

Stolas blinked, and despite the clouds in his mind he smiled. “It’s…” He couldn’t bring himself to correct Blitzø’s pronunciation, it’d be a slap in the face to his kindness . “It’s lovely Blitzy, thank you.” He accepted one. It was a far cry from the fine sausage and sharp cheddars he’d enjoyed in his manor; it also tasted far more comforting. “It’s very kind of you.”

“Yeah, I was just thinking, we’re coming up to the one year anniversary of…you moving in, and thought you could use a little taste of home.”

“It is very lovely,” Stolas accepted a couple more of the hors d'oeuvres. “I just…don’t know what to do about it. Every time I think of what to say to Via, it just falls apart in my mind. And then I think actions speak louder than words, but I can’t think of anything that I could feasibly do that she’d want to see. And it just cycles in my head.”

 Blitzø slid the plate onto the table beside the plants, setting one hand on the railing and looking out and away. “You’re real good with the computer stuff, you know that?”

“Heh, yeah, guess I am…”

“I know I give you shit about fitting in with us normal lower-class folks here, but you’re not stupid. I’m sure you can figure something out.”

“Thank you, Blitzy. But…well, people are a lot more complicated than computers. I can’t exactly look up a guide to apologizing to Via.” He sighed, leaning forward over the balcony railing himself. “I just…I want things to go back the way they were. If I could just do it over again, I wouldn’t be such an idiot …”

Blitzø was quiet for a moment. “ Just the way things were?”

“Of course.”

The imp was quiet again. “Here, I’m gonna put away the rest of the shit. Finish up the rest of these, I gotta—”

Blitzø’s phone buzzed.

“Oh for fuck’s sake it’s my day off, if that’s Moxxie I swear I’m gonna rip him a new asshole!” 

But as he pulled his phone out, Stolas’ also went off further in the room with a blaring tone. Then again from inside Loona’s room. And echoing from down in the street dozens of times. The TV suddenly turned itself on and the screen showed the sigil of the Seven Sins. The words on the screen matched the voice that started echoing outside:

“The following is a decree by the Seven Sins. Full obedience is expected! By the authority of His Majesty Lucifer Morningstar, all infernal hosts are being formally—”

Loona’s door opened, and she stepped out, staring at her phone. “Uhhhh… what the fuck is going on?” 

“Shhhh!” Stolas tried to quiet her, listening to the television set. Whatever this was, it could not be good. 

“—are to report to their native rings.  There are no exceptions. Any attempt of a hellborn to remain within the Pride Ring will be—” 

Pounding on the door down the hall. Stolas whipped his head around and heard through the door, “Clear out! Get out of here, get back to the Wrath Ring now!”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” That was the neighbor. “I just got the message, gimme a fucking moment to pack!”

“No packing! Everybody out NOW!” 

Blitzø’s voice got his attention again, “What the shit…” He wasn’t looking at his phone, he was looking down over the edge of the balcony. Stolas rushed over beside him and looked again. 

In just a few seconds the street had already transformed. Baphomets in the red peaked caps of the Sins’ enforcers had appeared and were hurrying down the sidewalks, pausing to talk with people, pointing them towards the end of the road. A reaper stood on the corner watching the proceedings unfold. The screens in the distance no longer showed advertisements for overpriced goods or the newest pornos; instead there were arrows, pointing to nearby elevators. 

“—not attempt to gather your belongings. Do not return home if you are out. Proceed directly to the nearest elevator for transit.  Sinners, remain indoors to avoid—”

Hammering on their door now. “Open up! Under the authority of the Sins!” Stolas could see Blitzø’s face take on a genuinely terrified look, that he hadn’t seen since that fateful day in court. The door rattled again. “OPEN UP!” Blitzø pressed back into the railing…

Loona saw this, and suddenly moved to open it herself. Blitzø started forward. She yanked it open and roared, “We HEARD IT! We’re coming!” 

“One minute to be out this door,” and he moved on. 

“Stolas…” Blitzø’s voice was uncharacteristically meek as he held his phone up for the owl to see the message. “You know about this kind of shit. What exactly do they mean by ‘mobilization’?”

Stolas thought about it. Then his eyes suddenly snapped skyward. The most recent extermination had just been canceled, there wasn’t some unannounced retribution, was there? Was Hell being invaded? But he saw no angels in the sky. Unless Heaven’s armies were literally inside the rings he couldn’t see a reason for such an expedited movement…

“Guys! Come on, grab your shit!” Loona snapped at them as she disappeared back into her room, breaking Stolas from his frantic thoughts.

“They said not to bring anything though.”

“Yeah well fuck that.” Through the door Stolas could see her grab the drone bag, then yank her phone charger from the wall. Phone charger! Yes! Stolas quickly raced to grab his and Blitzø’s both. 

The imp was slowly unfreezing, wandering into the living room, hand rubbing at his chest, realizing they weren’t coming for him personally. “Stolas, what do they mean by mobilization? Isn’t that some kind of army thing?”

“They’re mustering the hosts of Hell. And remember, the hosts of Hell are made up of all the hellborn…”

“What, am I getting fucking drafted or something?! Nobody’s given a shit about which host they’re part of in centuries! What the FUCK is going on?!”

Oh for Satan’s sake, “I don’t KNOW Blitzø! In case you didn’t notice, I’m not exactly on the inside of these things any more!”

“Don’t start talking down to me, I’m just asking you a fucking question!”

“YOU don’t start yelling at ME again!”

“WELL I’M KINDA FREAKING THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW!” 

“DAD! Stolas!” Loona got between them, “Can we not do this right now?! Come on, let’s just get out of here before that guy comes back!”

Stolas followed the others out into the hallway. The printed flyers, the dressed up crackers, the groceries on the counter, would never be touched again. 

Other imps were making their way to the exit too: a lone man in T-shirt and jeans, a small family dressed like a Dickensian novel, two women in bell bottoms and tank tops, all of them similarly confused and hesitant and yet moving their feet in compliance. Stolas hardly knew them beyond the petty bickering of icy neighbors, but for now all of that didn’t matter.  Outside the announcement was already repeating:

“By the authority of His Majesty Lucifer Morningstar, all infernal hosts are being formally summoned. All hellborn are to report to their native rings.  There are no exceptions.”

Stepping outside, the street was almost unrecognizable now. Sidewalks were filled with imps, with a smattering of other hellborns here and there. A hellhound mother had her baby lifted out of its stroller as she nodded along to a baphomet’s instructions. People were spilling into the road and drivers leaned on their horns, ranting out their windows, while the pedestrians shouted back, and again the officers were trying to intervene. All of them baking and sweating under a ‘sunny’ blood red sky.

Stolas towered over the crowd taking shape around them. In every direction he could see chaos slowly sweeping them down the street, around the corner. Honking. Shouting. Babies crying. A grocery store abandoned with stands in front; a pair of sharks passed by, glancing around before snatching some food and stuffing it into their jackets. 

Coming up to the intersection Stolas saw a reaper standing in silence, glaring without eyes at the shepherded hellborn. Blitzø spotted it and froze; it nearly got him bowled over by the folks behind them. “Hey keep moving ASSHOLE!” “Dad, come on!” Stolas set his hand on the imp’s shoulder, guiding him forward, turning his own head to fix his gaze on the creature. The words still bounced off the buildings around them from a dozen different points:

“Proceed directly to the nearest elevator for transit. Do not attempt to gather your belongings. Do not return home if you are out. Proceed directly to the nearest elevator for transit.”

There was the sound of chopping in the air, before a helicopter glid overhead low to the ground. Flyers ripped off of light poles and fluttered in the wind of the copter blades. Its shadow swept down the road over the crowd, before crossing the entrance to the elevators.

“BLITZØ!” 

That was Millie’s voice. She cleaved through the crowd to reach them, dragging Moxxie in tow, who in turn had Mackie hugged to his chest. The baby looked about, mouth hanging open, struggling to take it all in; Stolas could tell she was on the brink of crying. Moxxie meanwhile kept his eyes darting around. “What the fuck’s going on?! What host are we even supposed to go to?!” He directed that last question at Stolas.

“I don’t know!”

“How do you not know?!”

“You’re a Goetia!” Millie chimed in.

“You think I gave a shit about who was or wasn’t in my hosts?! HEY!” 

An imp had suddenly elbowed him. “Watch where you’re going jackass!”

“I’m just trying to get there!” He sighed as the imp just shuffled away still swearing under his breath, the space now opening up as they reached the elevator station. Then he returned to Moxxie, “This hasn’t happened for hundreds of years, and I can’t remember the last time it was on such a scale. I wouldn’t even know where the records are!” 

“Leaving for the Greed Ring!” A baphomet held his hand out to a nearby elevator car. “Sharks only, for the Greed Ring!

The station here was always crowded, but now it was borderline deafening from the shouts and commands echoing off the gilded walls. “Now arriving for Gluttony! Gluttony Ring, all hellhounds onboard!” 

“Holllld on there,” a baphomet grabbed Loona’s wrist as she tried to edge past. 

“What — hey!”

She instinctively ripped her hand out of his grasp. The officer recoiled in confusion. “Hellhounds are boarding here!”

“Uh, no!” Blitzø finally snapped to his usual self and barged right into the baphomet’s face, “She’s my daughter, I legally adopted her, she’s coming with us to the Wrath Ring!” 

But already another pair of officers were coming up, and a reaper was starting to look their way. Stolas lifted his hand, “Blitzø, I think—”

“Don’t you FUCKING DARE take their side! Come on Loona, hey! HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!” 

The officers grabbed her wrists. She tried to pull back. This time they anticipated her resistance and yanked her forward. Loona snarled, reared her head. “Fucking LET GO OF ME!”

A black chain materialized around her neck and she was wrenched forward. The chain led to a reaper’s mottled fingers. “Imps to the Wrath Ring!” His free hand pointed to the distant elevator. “Hellhounds to Gluttony! No exceptions!”

“LOONA!” All fear leaving him Blitzø lunged forward. Stolas had to grab him off the ground. He squirmed and kicked. “LET GO OF ME! THOSE FUCKWADS AREN’T GONNA TAKE HER!” 

“Dad!” Another pull, she was trying to strain against it, but the reaper’s magic was too powerful. Meanwhile the baphomets tried to herd the rest of them away.

“Let! Me! GO!” He began beating Stolas across the back, the blows raining on his back and shoulders and flank, and then twisted to bite at his arm!

“Ach! BLITZØ!” Stolas finally held him out in front of him, grip tightening “You can’t do anything here! None of us can! You’re going to get yourself arrested and put on trial again and this time I won’t be able to save you! We have to figure something out later!”

“Oh right, you’re the last —” He was about to spit something out… but he faded into a murderous scowl, unable to finish his words. 

Stolas could guess what he was going to say. He turned his head to the reaper and the officers. “Where am I supposed to go then?!”

“Just go to your native ring!” 

“Will you look at me?! I’m not an imp or hellhound or anything listed here! Where am I supposed to go?!”

The reaper actually paused. The shapeless void gazed into Stolas’ eyes. He could feel a quaver deep in his heart but he fought it down. “...Any ring, just bring yourself before a Sin.” 

“I will go with Loona then!” He faced back to Blitzø. Thank Satan it seemed to actually calm him. “I’ll go with her, she won’t be alone. I’ll find a way back to you.” 

He set the imp back on the ground. Blitzø pointed up at him, eyes narrowed. “You better fucking promise.”

“I do!”

“Say it.” 

“I promise we’ll get back to you! If it takes days or weeks, we will both get back to you.”

By now Loona had also calmed. Stolas walked over to her; the chain dissipated from around her neck, and with a snarl she ripped her hands from the two baphomets holding her. 

“Come on, it’ll be okay…” Stolas rested her hand on her shoulder, helped to guide her into the golden elevator car. She glared around, still baring her teeth, but he could feel that she was trembling. He turned his head all the way around to look back. Even as hellhounds filled the space behind them, Stolas could see Millie and Moxxie watching, and Blitzø between them with a steely glare. Stolas nodded.

He really hoped he could keep his promise. 

“Hey Lucy!” Beelzebub’s voice echoed up to him. He glanced down at her. “Long time no see!” 

He gave her a smirk she couldn’t even see, a nod. Leviathan, Asmodeus, Belphegor… and finally, in a column of flame, Satan appeared standing before his seat, towering over all the rest. Again, except for Lucifer. 

The fallen angel stood now, adjusting his suit. “It’s, ah, it’s been a long time, guys.”

Silence greeted him. 

“Been a while since we formally got together, to talk about things. But, ah…” He rubbed the back of his neck, deciding to break the news with an awkward smile, “...this is probably going to be the last time we do this?”

Even from this distance he could see the sins react. Satan’s eyes narrowed and he leaned forward. 

“I don’t really know how to sugar coat this. Armageddon is in about two months.”

Beelzebub and Asmodeus and Mammon and Leviathan all jumped to their feet: “We didn’t even get to know—” “—going to happen to all the hellborn—” “—TELL US about this huge fucking—” “—outrageous, to just drop this on—”

Satan’s wings beat dramatically, silencing the rest. He stayed sitting but his burning yellow eyes narrowed as he focused on Lucifer. “When did you find this out?”

“Just today. I told you all this was an emergency.” He glared back, before looking around again. “The prophecies of St. John are already unfolding. In a few days Heaven will open the fifth seal, the righteous will be summoned to their side, and we will be granted rule over the living world.”

Oh at that… the energy changed. The fury dissipated, replaced with a dawning excitement. Even Satan, for once, seemed at a loss to attack him. Mammon broke the silence. “Soooooo… when you say we get to rule the living world, you don’t mean just, we get to tempt them more? You meeeean…”

“That’s what we’re going to decide here, how we use our seven weeks. There’s one and only one objective for us to focus on: preparing for battle against Heaven. Surviving the battle against Heaven, and preventing the part of the prophecy where we’re all killed.”

Lucifer stretched his hand out. The open space between them was filled with images illustrating his words:

“In the recent skirmish, we saw firsthand that the forces of Heaven can be harmed with blessed angelic weapons. If we could prepare and train every sinner and every hellborn to use these, then we would have a chance.”

“If,” Asmodeus interjected.

“...That is the problem we’re facing. From what I understand, Carmilla Carmine only has a limited amount. And any hellborn or sinner without angelic weapons might as well be cannon fodder. This isn’t going to be like a regular extermination either. Every angel in Heaven, and all the humans they’ve gathered over the years, will be coming at us. So we need a more solid plan.”

Lucifer paused. Nobody answered.

“Ideas? Anyone?”

Mammon raised his hand. Lucifer gestured to him. “Can we go back to the part where you said we’re gonna rule Earth?”

He shut his eyes, clutching his scepter with both hands, forcing a smile over his mouth. “We’ll talk about that once we start getting some solid ideas for a strategy to not die.”

“Don’t speak to us with that tone…” 

But it wasn’t Mammon… 

Satan kept sitting, clutching the stone armrests as he leaned forward. “You abdicate your throne for years, neglect your duties as King of Hell, and then come back and reassert yourself? And you expect us to bend the knee just because you say so?”

Yes, actually. That’s the retort that Lucifer desperately wanted to spit back at him. But, he knew that would only cause more problems. Dammit he was never good at this royal politics thing. “It’s not that simple. There was… I had things to deal with, okay? I was very busy, and my attention was taken away. It’s not like Hell burned down or anything in the meantime though! If there was a real problem I would have come back to deal with it! Like I am right now!”

“Yes… now you’re back,” the draconic lord tilted his head. Steam curled from his nostrils, and claws clicked upon the rock. “And at such a convenient time too. Your daughter provokes Heaven, you finally stand up to the exterminations, and in retaliation they announce the end of times. How very, very convenient for a man intent on using a crisis to assert himself.”

“...First of all,” Lucifer stepped up onto his stone table, giving himself just a few more feet of height against Satan, “don’t you dare bring my daughter into this. Second, it’s actually rather inconvenient for this to be happening right now. It’s going to be very ‘inconvenient’ for all of us…” He lifted a hand again, and the images floating in the air turned graphic, “to be pierced through the chest, or chained for eternity in a lake of fire. This is the issue we have to focus on right now, our survival. We can’t be arguing about the semantics of where I’ve been and—”

Satan’s fists slammed down, and he stood suddenly. His wings spread wide. “That’s not even what ‘semantics’ means! DON’T!” He jabbed his finger at Lucifer before he could reply back; his hand shredded the visuals. “You dare condescend to me? I have ruled Hell before you even knew this place existed. I am focused on the issue of our survival, and how likely we are to achieve it by following you!”

At that Lucifer’s wings flared and he leapt into the air! He could see his shadow against the light streaming through the window. His tail and horns materialized again and fire curled from his mouth, “ You don’t talk to ME that way! I am trying to help you and you can’t see past your own ego long enough to realize that?!”

The dragon snarled, one side of his snout flaring… but then, there was a gleam in his eyes. He straightened up. He smiled. “You’re right, your Majesty. I apologize. Please ‘enlighten’ us then, O Lightbringer. Before I interrupted,” Satan lifted his hands to either side, looking at the other sins present, “you were telling us your plan?”

…That’s right. Lucifer looked down at the others. Bee and Ozzie were a little more neutral, with expressions like kids watching a sibling get scolded by a parent. Mammon and Leviathan were leaning forward more intently, drinking in this glorious drama. Belphegor… was asleep already. He exhaled, smoke rushing past his teeth. “...That’s why I called us all here. To figure that out,” Lucifer repeated. 

That only made Satan chuckle. “No, you called us here to figure out a plan, for you to then take the credit for. So that everyone will cheer and adore and praise your ego. Isn’t that right?” 

Lucifer curled his fists again, and he had half a mind to just blast the dragon right here and now with all of his celestial power. But it wouldn’t be that simple, not with a King Sin and especially not with Satan. And the last thing Hell needed was a civil war to distract them. So he had to tolerate the words being thrown at him…

“You’re a ruthless attention seeker. It got you thrown out of Heaven, and it led to you being an absent monarch here in Hell as you pursued only your interests. Meanwhile I have stewarded the Seven Rings, I know exactly what we are capable of. And I know how we can find a solution.”

At that Lucifer broke out of his fuming rage, at least a bit. 

“The Ars Goetia scour the furthest stars and the most arcane secrets of Creation for ways to further the cause of sin. Their noble minds will surely be able to build a weapon that can destroy Heaven’s armies. And in the meantime, we will plunder the living world for its resources and technology.” 

“Plunder…” Lucifer had a feeling it would lead to this, but to hear Satan actually suggest it…

“We will have seven weeks without the interference of Heaven. It is only logical that we take the mortal realm for ourselves. It’s what the prophecy entitles us to. Unless…” Satan took a step closer, “...you have a soft spot for the humans?”

He pictured them, the mortals… mad emperors burning down their own capitals, horse riders looting cities, great artists and thinkers martyred across history. 

“Well?”

Lucifer snorted. He suddenly flew right up to Satan’s face, looked him in the eye. “I don’t care what you do with them. I already said I only care about the survival of Hell.”

“A welcome change in priority…” The dragon sneered. Then he stepped back, lifted his own hand. An image of a city conjured up now. “But we won’t only take their resources. There’ve been rumblings among the lower races of Hell, discontent. It will be good for them to, how do you say… let off steam.”

The little humans between the buildings were suddenly beset by monstrous forces in red. Lucifer could hear them screaming. He looked away. Bee and Ozzie, again a pair, watched with mouths hanging open slightly. Mammon and Leviathan meanwhile had a dark glint in their eyes. He could already tell that they were on board with this. “So, we’re going to approach it more literally then. Sinners and hellborn walking the Earth.”

“HA!”

The sheer power of Satan’s voice made even Lucifer recoil. The dragon lurched forward, eyes ablaze. 

“I knew you still had a soft spot for those mortals! Even now at the end of the world you’d have those damned souls lording over our creations! They had their time on Earth! Your humans, your sinners and their overlords, will stay in the Pride Ring through our invasion!”

Okay. This was crossing a line. “You do not give me orders! You do NOT give me demands! And I do not give a SINGLE! FLYING! FUCK about the humans! I have had it with your disrespect! I shouldn’t have EVER tolerated you trying to usurp me!”

“I usurp YOU!?”

“Okay!” There was a zip in the air, and suddenly Lucifer found Beelzebub between him and Satan. “Okay, listen, there’s… let’s just calm down, okay? Satan, baby,” she gave him a playful look, “let me talk to Lucy here a minute.”

He narrowed his eyes… but the dragon relented, with a hint of smirk on his face. Lucifer watched him sit back down, before focusing on Beelzebub. “Bee, I appreciate you wanting to keep the peace, but I have to very nicely ask you to let me go so I can kill him!”

“Lucy, listen to me, okay?” He just looked away. “Are you listening?” He had to pause, before finally nodding. “I know he can be an asshole sometimes, he can get heated. But… he does kinda have a point.”

“About the plan? Yeah I guess, it’s the best we have right now.”

“Well that, yes. But he’s also right about the hellborn.” 

Lucifer stared at her in shock. “I didn’t think you had a grudge against the humans?”

“No, it’s not that. And it’s also not the whole ‘social control’ thing, the guy’s… been really weird this past century. It’s just…” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Look, let’s be real here. We’re probably not going to survive Armageddon.”

“We can! We just need to focus and get our shit together and we can come up with a plan!” 

“Okay, I do like the attitude, very inspiring. But my point is, there’s at least a chance we don’t win, right? And if that happens… I want my hellhounds to have had at least a little time on the surface, having a bit of fun before it all goes away. A little bit of time where… you know… they don’t feel like they’re bottom of the barrel?” 

That last bit, he could feel the pointed words. A caste system had plagued Hell almost since the moment it was born — not the least because Satan deliberately built his own race of creatures to be servants. But Bee actually cared about the creatures she’d made, and they’d gotten it the worst. He knew that. 

“Do this for me. For Ozzie, look at him.” Lucifer did so; Asmodeus was looking up at them, but clearly not paying attention, drumming his fingers on the stone, in deep thought. “I know he’s worried about his incubi and succubi. Please.”

Lucifer hesitated. Then he turned, looking at everyone.

Satan cut in again, his voice calmer but still just as imperious, “As I said, it would be prudent for us to give the hellborn an outlet for their growing dissatisfaction. Keeps ‘em docile. The plan does not work if they continue to be at the mercy of sinners and overlords.”

There were nods down below. Fuck, they were really going to force his hand. “Fine! Let’s vote on it. All who support restraining the sinners to the Pride Ring during the invasion?”

Satan, Mammon, and Leviathan all lifted their hands. Bee did as well. Ozzie snapped out of his worries, and he was a little more bashful about it, but his hand also went up. The only other holdout was Belphegor… still snoozing. 

Mammon elbowed her. “Hey! We’re voting on something?”

“Eh, huh?” She woke up, blearily rubbing her eyes and raising her hand. “Aye, I’m voting for it! What are we voting on?”

“Unanimous then,” Satan smirked. “Unless his majesty would care to go against all the other sins?”

Lucifer sighed. Here he thought they’d be able to come together again, for once. Come up with a coherent plan, for once. Rally together, for once. But as usual, egos almost as big as his own had to come in… “I literally don’t care what you do on the fucking planet. Just…” He shrugged. “Do you even need me here then? I’ll just fly around and blast things in Armageddon, I’ll just do whatever you tell me I need to do, since all my ideas are so terrible.”

He turned away… but felt Bee take his elbow. “Hey?”

“What?”

Her eyes were warm. “It’s good to see you again. I missed you.” 

For a few more seconds he met her gaze. Then his eyes fell to the grip on his arm. Lucifer pulled himself free and glid back to his seat.

“Awwwww, come on Lucy!” Mammon called from down below. “Don’t be so sore! It’ll be great fun! Gonna start planning a new mansion and everything! It’ll be GREAT!”

She laughed. “You know he’s going to chew you out for that once he comes back out here?”

“Yeah well, he should’ve been more careful about what he gave to Mackie,” but she could hear it, he was already starting to regret raising his voice at Blitzø. “I’ve told him a hundred times! Dr. Phillip clearly says—”

Loona sighed, lounging behind the desk, rolling her eyes up from her phone. “If you say that stupid fucking goat’s name one more time, I am actually going to kill you.”

“HEY!” Moxxie grabbed the book off the desk, holding it out. A baphomet with long horns and shaggy black fur dominated the cover. “Dr. B. Phillip’s ‘Complete Guide to Imp Infancy’ is the single best-selling source for information about raising a healthy baby!”

“Yeah, a whole lot of money made off of neurotic dumbasses like you.”

“Well excuse me for caring!” 

Loona just looked back at her phone, muttering. “A bigger baby than the actual baby…”

“Come on Mox,” Millie hopped onto the floor again, axe over her shoulder. “She didn’t mean nothin’ by it. Blitzø was just trying to be nice, and everyone’s still getting used to seeing you so intense.”

At that he softened. “I know, I just… I really want to try, you know? Want to make sure I’m being a good dad and all.”

He rubbed the back of his neck… and suddenly jolted in delight as Millie kissed him on the cheek. “I think you’re being the best dad.” 

He turned towards her, they rubbed snouts playfully…

The door slammed open. “Break it up you fucking lovebirds, one baby in the office is bad enough!” Blitzø stalked out, glaring at them. “Alright, new job, pretty standard. One asshole fucked over another asshole, second asshole wants to fuck the first one over right back, blah blah blah blah blah you get it. Rich prick so he might have security. We’re all going topside for this one.”

Moxxie whirled his head around to Millie. “You feeling good today? Sure you can make it?”

“I’m fine, really. I’ve been working again for a few weeks now!”

“I know, but Dr. Phillip says—”

“Mox,” Blitzø pinched between his eyes, “if you say that fucker’s name one more time I am actually going to kill you.”

“Thank you!” Loona echoed.

Moxxie just glared at them both. Then he turned to Millie, “Can I take Mackie this time? You had her on the last job.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Sure, it’s your turn.”

“Yes!”

He ran into the other room for the baby harness. Blitzø glowered after him, then at Millie. She already knew what he was going to ask, “I promise, we’re only having one.”

“Yeah you fucking better,” he spat. Of course that was just his thorny exterior talking, Millie knew that. He had a very loud and very coarse bark. But even when he griped that she was out of commission through her pregnancy, he found her supporting mission roles. Even as he lamented his best killer couldn’t swing a warhammer, he never actually asked it of her. And even now as he muttered under his breath, going to the desk to pull out fresh bullets, he toyed with the baby. “It’s a good thing you look like your mom, can’t take another Moxxie…”

Millie drew closer, and really took a look down at Mackie. She still couldn’t believe it. Having kids had always been for when she was older, when she was a ‘grown-up.’ Now it was actually here. Mackie had her father’s freckles, but otherwise definitely took after her mother with the black hair and the little horn nubs coming in early. She looked up at her Uncle Blitzy, her fist curling around one of his fingers. Then she let out a laugh. 

“What? You think I’m funny? Am I some kinda joke to you or something?” He waved his hand back and forth gently. “When you gonna pick up a knife and start earning your keep around here, huh?”

“We’ll train ‘er up right, don’t you worry. You’ll have a third imp running around here in no time.” 

“Yeah I sure—” Suddenly his cellphone rang. He pulled it out, and sighed. “Fuck me, hold on.” One hand still claimed by Mackie, he answered his phone, eyes rolling up to the ceiling. “Yeah Stolas? You get the return done?”

Millie turned away, pretending to not overhear the conversation. She had to admit in retrospect, divulging the pregnancy news and all the excitement after it had been a welcome diversion from their drama. It wasn’t that Stolas was an unpleasant person, per se. If anything he’d actually been a helpful source of advice for caring for Mackie. He just had to transition from being an aristocratic Goetia noble to a normal every-day demon. That’s what Millie repeated to herself at least. He was certainly making improvements, but still…

“Christ on a stick…” Blitzø sighed again, turning away from Mackie, gently negotiating his hand from her grasp. “No. You can’t just put it back on the shelf and take another one. You have to go to the counter first, show them the item, show them the receipt, explain that it doesn’t work, and then get a new one.” He kept listening, pacing around the desk. “They post it on the fucking wall, you just have to read the instructions! You love reading! They tell you how to do it!” Quiet again, then he suddenly pivoted. “I am not being rude! You called and asked me for help, I’m fucking helping you!”

Meanwhile, Millie went over to the safe on the other side of the room, pulling out her smaller throwing knives, slipping a few larger ones around her ankles. Should she bring her machete? Blitzø had said there’d be security, but it was also just one guy… better to have it and not need it, right? 

“I really can’t do this right now, we’re about to go out for a job. I’m gonna lock the door, when you get back just open it again and do your thing until closing. Alright? You got that? Okay.” He hung up, scowling at the phone… before throwing his head back with a last exasperated sigh. Blitzø pocketed the device, and Millie turned around again before he could see her looking at him. “Loona, get your shit together, we’re going.”

“I’m gettin’, I’m gettin’.” 

She grabbed the black backpack behind the desk, just as Moxxie returned to the room. A fabric harness was now strapped over his belly. He cradled Mackie in his arms for a moment before slipping her inside, “Ready for a little field trip? Wanna see Mommy and Daddy work some more?” His back was turned so he couldn’t see Blitzø rolling his eyes again. Moxxie fastened the last buckle before he turned profile, thumbing over his shoulder at a rifle slung over his back. “Packing light this time. Besides the essentials, three pistols and an automatic.”

“Ahhhh no, no can’t do that.”

Moxxie turned to Blitzø, confused.

“Yeah, see, apparently some important doctor guy says ‘No guns for babies’, so sorry.” He shrugged, and Moxxie glared. “Anyways enough chit-chat, let’s get this shitshow on the road!” 

He rubbed his hand over the Asmodean crystal on his sleeve. A portal opened, and everyone hopped right through to a rooftop.

Millie looked about. They had landed in a city center, albeit one with humbler buildings only about twenty stories high at her estimate. Mountains etched along the bottom of the sky in the distance. Across the skyline she could  see an American flag, a water tower atop a run-down tenement building… and when she turned around, the building they were on sported a fresh billboard above the access entrance: ‘RE-ELECT GOVERNOR JACKSON SHAW’ with a smiling man to one side. 

“Guy we’re looking for is a Lyman Cushing. Rich asshole, you know the type.” He held up a photograph of a light-skinned man with swept grey hair, a pointed chin, and the kind of joyless smile you could only learn in business school. “Client said he’s due in town meeting this Shaw guy, apparently they’re buddy-buddy, so they’ll be at a hotel and out of his mansion. Best time to strike. Loona! We need eyes in the sky!” 

“Already on it.” She sat cross-legged, a computer opened across her lap. With a few keystrokes a small red drone buzzed up out of her backpack. No rotors, a blend of modern technology with Hell’s infernal power. 

“See if you can find him from the windows. Not that I’d mind tearing through a few extra shitbags here, but I just wanna do this clean today.”

Millie watched it descend down the front of the building, before turning to Moxxie. He was standing at the opposite edge, pointing into the distance. “And see those? Those are also mountains. I know they look different from the Wrath Ring, stuff’s real weird in the living world.” 

Mackie just listened along, following where her father was pointing. Once Millie came up beside them though she turned. Her face immediately brightened.

“You excited to see Mama and Papa work today?” She gave Mackie a pinch on her cheek, making her squint one eye cutely. “We’re gonna kill some people together! Yes we are! Oh yes we are!”

While she talked, Moxxie took out one of his handguns, double-checked it. “Good to go…” He stowed it away again, taking out the next one, glancing at Millie. “Now if you start to feel winded, or you need to fall back, let me know and I’ll cover you, okay?”

She straightened up, “Mox, I promise I’m feeling fine. I can do all this just about the same as I used to!”

“‘Just about’ the same?” 

He gave her a sharp look, and she rolled her eyes. “I’m feeling the same. You’re too sweet Mox, really. If I didn’t feel ready to be in the field again, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I know… just, promise you’ll tell me if you need it.” 

“I will.” She reassured him, but as she turned to pace back over to Blitzø, she couldn’t help but feel… exasperated. And she felt bad for feeling that way about Moxxie. He had been nothing but kind and supportive and enthusiastic through her pregnancy and now into their parenthood. He had been everything she’d hoped he’d be. So why did it leave her feeling so exhausted to be asked on an hourly basis if everything was fine, if she was okay, if he could do this for her or that for the baby? At a certain point it just felt overwhelming… 

“Alright, got him!” Everyone perked up at Loona’s voice. “North side, four floors down, big lounge area.”

“Fuck yeah, a killing floor with a view! Come on guys!” Blitzø had been cutting open the air duct cover, and now opened it like a door. “Ladies first!”

Millie nodded as she passed him, and slipped out two small knives. Punching into the metal walls of the duct she began to descend. She could see Moxxie’s silhouette cast above her. “...Uh, do you know if this place was checked for asbestos? I wouldn’t want Mackie to—”

“GET YOUR ASS IN THE FUCKING AIR DUCT MOXXIE!” 

He obliged. 

Minutes later they were all crawling forward, Blitzø leading them towards the north of the building. “Lounge, lounge, lounge, where the fuck’s a lounge…” 

Moxxie suddenly shushed him. 

“Don’t fucking shush me Moxxie! I’m leading right now!” 

“No seriously, shhh! Listen!”

They all paused. A conversation, just ahead and down the right branch of the duct system. Men’s voices, and then “...appreciate it Lyman…”

The trio made a beeline for the voice, and soon surrounded a grate opening into — sure enough — a luxurious lounge. The ornate plush furniture hadn’t been updated in decades, but it served its purpose for the wealthy and powerful that convened here… such as their target, talking to the man Millie had just seen on the billboard outside. Shaw had a narrow face, a head of curly hair, and a voice that was soft and yet sharp at once.

“The polls are looking very favorable. I do hate to tempt retribution by celebrating early, but, well…” He cocked his head. “I’ve already been thinking about my administration for the next four years. Much as I am heartbroken about the unexpected passing of my last Head of Building Codes and Standards, I think it’s only a service to the people of this great state to have a replacement picked out right away.”

Lyman nodded, a glass of wine in his hand. “I totally agree, Governor. And I’m glad you see the sense of putting a man with years of construction management into such a relevant role. Cushing Construction… and of course, other such companies throughout the state, will all flourish.”

Millie silently scoffed to herself. It all came together now, the motivation and everything. Easy open-and-shut job this was…

The governor continued, “I know they will, I know they will. By the way, I know you were close with Reed, right?”

“Yes, we were in college together. We had some bad blood near the end, but… deep down, I never stopped wishing the best for him.”

Moxxie slipped his hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing. 

“If it’s quite alright with you, I’d like to lead us in a little prayer for Reed. I know some folks might find it improper, but I know you and I both appreciate the role of God in our lives.” He held his hands out, and Lyman set his wine down to take them. “Heavenly Father, we speak to you this day concerning the soul of Reed Cooper. In this life he was a devoted public servant, a brilliant business mind, a good friend, but most of all a man who knew God and family.”

Blitzø sneered in disgust, before pulling out a walkie talkie and very quietly whispering into it, “Loona, we need a distraction. Get the governor guy out of the room.”

“We pray that you have taken this good kind soul into your heavenly kingdom, and that he enjoys eternal paradise with you for all the virtues he showed here on Earth. We ask that we act with the wisdom he showed, and the love he professed for us. We ask that you open our hearts, so that we may always remember Reed and the good that he did. In the name of Christ our Lord, amen.”

“Amen,” Lyman replied, picking up his wine again. “Very beautifully done. Those years on the stage really gave you a gift with words, Jackson.”

“Please, I was just a vessel. God was the one who did the talking. He has been my compass and always will be. Why do you think I still return to my church every Sunday? Nothing, and nobody, is more important to me than God.”

Blitzø gave a dramatic silent retch. Millie and Moxxie both snickered. Luckily before the man could continue any further, the door opened. “Governor, someone from the campaign team called, says it's urgent.” 

“Ah, we’ll continue this discussion later.” Shaw stepped out of the room. The door shut… and Lyman finally let out a sigh. 

“‘Do you wanna pray for Reed’,” he snidely imitated, before downing his wine. “Fucking Jesus freak. Can’t believe he’s popular as he is.”

“He talks about the issues,” came a man’s voice from out of sight. That’s one guard…

“Launching a moral crusade against table foosball in 2025 isn’t talking about the issues, it’s bullshit. I can’t wait until I get my fucking department so I can get the state off my fucking back so I can run my fucking business in peace.” 

“Oh I don’t know if you gotta worry about that much longer!” 

Lyman’s eyes snapped to the vent as Blitzø announced their presence. All three jumped down and into the room, landing with a practiced grace. Millie quickly checked around. Two guards, caught unaware. Perfect. She motioned to one, Moxxie nodded. Meanwhile Blitzø pulled out his gun, trained it on their target. 

“By the way, you’re right, that whole prayer was bullshit. Reed’s not waiting for you in heaven , motherfucker.”

Millie and Moxxie each pounced towards a guard. She pulled a smaller knife first, and with inhuman speed scaled his body! Before he could reach his pistol she had the blade to his neck. “You don’t move now, y’hear!?” 

Moxxie had vaulted over a couch and raked his claws over his target’s face. As he yowled, the imp snatched the gun from the holster, aimed it up through the man’s neck. 

BAM. 

He jerked back and collapsed against the wall, choking on his own blood. Then Moxxie pounced onto the couch again. Millie kicked off from behind her human, and with another BAM he was dead. And then a third BAM. 

Lyman staggered sideways, and fell across the floor. A chunk of his skull was now missing. 

Blitzø raised his brow, blood covering half his body, nodding. “Damn. Almost went too quick for me. But, good work team, easy money’s the best money!” 

Moxxie was stepping back over, slipping the stolen gun into the first guard’s hand, and cooing down at Mackie. “See that? You gotta be sneaky sometimes. Now, they think it’s this guy’s gun that killed them. Pretty smart huh?” 

Millie snickered, walking up to Blitzø photographing the body, then giving himself a selfie with it. “We better get movin’.”

“What’s wrong Mills? In a rush?” He stuck his tongue out, winked, flashed a peace sign over the bloodied corpse. 

“They’re gonna hear those shots, we should get outta here.”

“Yeah yeah, hold on, I’ll open a portal for ya.” He rubbed at the crystal on his sleeve, smearing blood over it.

Nothing happened. 

“...Blitzø?”

“That’s weird…” He rubbed again. “Shit, they’re being too sensitive again, can’t get the right rub on them.”

“So… how do we get down out of here?”

Blitzø froze. 

All the lights went out, leaving only the window light. And then they began blaring red, a siren sounding. “THIS IS A CODE RED LOCKDOWN, PLEASE SHELTER IN PLACE. THIS IS A CODE RED LOCKDOWN, PLEASE SHELTER IN PLACE.”

 “Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!” Blitzø scrambled about, trying to rub both crystals, looking for something to help… and then decided on the window. “Quick, out this way!” 

“We’re fifteen stories up!” Millie followed him, “Unless there’s some kind of conveniently placed window washing platform just out of view there, then I don’t know how—” Then she looked. “Well I’ll be damned…”

The glass shattered. Two very confused human workers looked up as Blitzø leapt down between them, bared his claws, whipped his head about like a rabid dog. “RAHHHHHHH I’M A SCARY DEMON I’M GONNA EAT YOUR FUCKING SOUL RAHHHHHHHH!” The pair both leapt screaming, falling, falling to the ground below… and Blitzø looked back up with a cheerful grin. “Okay it’s safe now!”

They rode the platform all the way down. Luckily everyone else was too busy rushing into the building to notice the pair of dead bodies on the far side of the entrance. Once they made it to the ground, Blitzø leapt for the grass and began wiping his crystals clean on it. “These fucking things, pain in my little, red, hole.” Finally with a huff he lifted his arm again, gave a rub… and the portal opened. “FINALLY! And still, no one saw… us…”

In his celebration he hadn’t looked back at Millie and Moxxie, both staring at a grizzled old man on the street who clearly hadn’t bathed in days. He had a picket sign over his shoulder, and gaunt eyes were wide as he took in the creatures before him. 

“...Well no one who’ll be believed. Alright, through the portal before any more complications happen! Gotta get one back up there for Loony too. Come on,” he shepherded Moxxie through, then Millie. 

She looked back at him as he glanced at the human one last time. Through the portal she could see the letters scrawled on his sign: ‘THE END IS NEAR’.

“You act as though I am a fiend of some kind! Of course I did as the poor girl asked!” Flauros let the suspense build as he raised his glass, gave it a few laps with his feline tongue. “I rode through town, my legions behind me, and we burned every scrap of wood and fabric we could find! Ketlin, Ayna, the bishop, so many more caught in our path. Oh the horrified look on her face, as her home went up in flames, her parents inside!”

Stella and Andrealphus both cackled as the story took its hilarious twist.  Flauros kept his composure better, but the leopard still allowed himself a handsome lopsided smile. Octavia watched her mother gasp for breath, “Those humans never fucking learn, do they?! They’d sell their soul to punch themselves in the face if you told them not to!” 

“Oh, I think they learn their lesson eventually. Don’t they, Omelina?” With a cruel chuckle he lifted his other hand; a series of bracelets ran up his arm, each set with gemstones. A blue sapphire gleamed, and something about the pattern inside seemed to shift as Flauros called out the name. Then he turned his attention back to his hosts. “And that’s not even the end of it.”

“Oh! Oh tell more!”

“I was just finishing my ride through town… when I heard the guards begin accusing each other of arson. Apparently there had been more tension in the city than I thought. And as I ride back to Omelina to conclude our business, I hear musket fire behind me. The fools were already turning on each other!”

Andrealphus scoffed. “I’m not surprised. The mortals are always so short-sighted, aren’t they? Stupid bumbling buffoons, can’t go more than a day without getting their hands on each other!”

“Are you sure?”

Octavia finally spoke up, and all three faces turned to her. Andrealphus seemed shocked, before laughing it off. “Of course I am! Why do you think so many humans end up down here?”

“I mean,” she nodded at Flauros, “are you sure there were muskets? You said this was seven hundred years ago, right? They didn’t have firearms for a while on the continent.”

The leopard’s brow raised. “Ah, well…” He drained his drink, still thinking, “it may have been another weapon I was overhearing. Blade on armor…”

Stella was quick to cut in again, “It’s alright! No matter what specific weapon, it’s not important to what you were saying!”

“Yes, yes. Here, I must stop for another drink.”

He stepped away, not looking as he set his empty glass on a tray carried by a tuxedoed imp. Octavia watched after him, a sinking feeling in her stomach. And that feeling was confirmed by a careful but powerful grip on her arm. Andrealphus leaned close to her other ear. “Darling… when a Duke of the Goetia is talking, we listen and agree with whatever he’s saying.”

“But it’s not even true! He makes shit up! I can’t even ask a question about it?!”

She could hear his teeth gritting. “If we want to make friends with the other Goetia — and we very much do — we have to learn to smile and make nice!”

“Oh, leave off her. Let me,” Stella waved her brother away. She set her hand between Octavia’s shoulders and led her to the side of the room. Her touch was far more gentle. “Never mind your uncle, he can be passionate at times!”

Despite the niceties, Octavia could feel the pit in her stomach still. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this high society stuff…”

“It’s fine! It’s fine! You are still young! If anything, I wish I could have gotten the chance to teach you these things earlier! But now you finally have a chance to learn. Turn around now.”

She did so. From the edge of the ballroom, she could see the demonic lords all gathered in, all different species, broken off into multiple conversations while servants weaved in between. 

“What do you see?”

“A party?”

“A battlefield. Oh I’ll take that,” Stella snatched an entire platter of hors d'oeuvres from a nearby imp, much to his chagrin. Her voice dropped. “Now keep your eyes on me, but take a side look at the group near us…” 

She did so. 

“They’re united by a common disdain for Forneus, which they consider an open secret. You don’t ask them about it, they’ll deny it, but it’s true…” Her eyes focused on the food though, before plucking up a single overdressed tart. “What they don’t know, is that a little over half of them have been fucking Forneus!”

Octavia couldn’t help but choke back a laugh. 

“I mean, can you blame them, have you seen the man? But, to focus back, many of them have seen fit to share their secret with a good friend, so far removed from the drama that she wouldn’t have anything to benefit from exposing it.” Her eyes narrowed, and her grin widened. “But there’s always a benefit to holding secrets, Via. Take another glance, tell me how happy they look.”

She gave another awkward glance, keeping her face trained towards her mother. “...They don’t look very happy.”

“Someone heard from a friend of a friend, that despite their best efforts to bring Forneus to his knees, someone in their little clique is secretly getting on their knees for him. And everyone else can feel it in the air. And that is very good news for Forneus… whom I have a rather discreet but fruitful business relationship with.” With that she finally popped the tart in her mouth, chewing and swallowing. “And I’ve made sure that he’s heard all about this.” 

Octavia nodded along, daring to tilt her head to look around again. Goetia in fine robes and dresses, some with costumes dating back centuries, others with outfits right from the living world’s latest fashion, all swirling and speaking, making and breaking connections. Between them all, the imps still worked, shuttling empty glasses and dishes to the kitchen before emerging with never-ending refreshments. Octavia knew that they were driven hard, both by Stella and Andrealphus. She had overheard one particularly loud disciplining, “YOU FUCKING MORON! DON’T YOU DARE SPEAK FIRST TO OUR GUESTS!”

“I know,” the same voice spoke to her now, “it’s so much to take in, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s a lot.”

With a dramatic sigh Stella held out the platter again, forcing another passing imp to accept it. “Much as I hate to admit it, your father knew how to work the political game. Oh he would pretend to wear his heart on his sleeve, of course. He could be clever like that, make people think that he truly gave a shit about their problems.”

She felt her stomach turn a bit. Both hands gripped her drink a little tighter.

“He could have taught you so much if he gave half a fuck.” She shook her head. “But don’t worry, I’ll teach you everything I know. And you’re such a smart girl too, you’ll figure it out. Don’t mind your uncle, he’s a pain in the ass, I know.”

“Thanks Mom.”

She held out both arms for a hug. Octavia stepped forward, felt the warm embrace. “I know it’s been a hard year for you, darling. But you’ve been so brave and strong, I’m so proud of you, you know that?”

And Octavia couldn’t help but hug back. She closed her eyes, and she let her heart melt a bit. Her mother wasn’t perfect, but at least she was here, and that had to count for something. Right? “Thanks…” 

“Ohhhh…” Stella pulled back, a gentle smile on her face. “I love you so much honey. Now,” she glanced, pointing at the younger demons present, “why don’t you go and say hello? You have to be a good host after all, if you’re going to be a good princess.” 

“Yeah, okay.” She felt… curiously brightened by that encounter. Another sip from her drink, check her dress. The light purple shimmered with every step, more slender than her mother’s wide poofy outfit. It was the sharp profile of someone due to inherit such a prestigious title and the holdings that came with it… 

Ahead of her she could see other demons, some having already been invested with their own titles, others still waiting for adulthood. They were all snickering — but one by one, all eyes turned to her as she approached. 

The newfound confidence evaporated. 

“Hey, uh… how’s everything?” Octavia tried to put on a cool face, swirling her glass in an intimidating manner. At least she hoped it was.

“Oh the party’s delightful,” a draconic young female nodded. She was dressed in an old-fashioned robe, “I’m so glad you decided to join us, we’ve been missing you!”

“You have?” She did her best to appear detached, aloof, but the answer filled her with both curiosity and dread. Octavia barely knew their names, and even that much only for half the people in this group. 

“Of course we have! You’re our host today, it’s an honor to see you, Princess! An honor I was afraid you’d deprive us of!”

“No! No, I wouldn’t, uh, dream of depriving you of the honor!” It felt so unnatural in her mouth. And from the dragoness’ amused smile, everyone else could tell too. 

Quick, what had Uncle Andy said?

Octavia gave a laugh, a smile of her own. “So, what were you all talking about?”

A male crow lifted his glass for her attention. He had a more modern tuxedo on, “A recent deal I made with a mortal. A political leader on the surface, he had some… troubles, with his opposition, I don’t fucking care, he just wanted my help to get them to listen. Tried to sell me the souls of all his citizens.” 

“What?! But he can’t do that! That’s not how it works!”

“I know! But, I told him that I’d accept, and here’s how I said it, ‘All souls under your power.’ And he shook my hand on it. He’ll have a real fucking shock when he ends up here himself!”

And again laughter at the story’s retelling. Octavia joined them. “I’ve only spent a day in the living world so far. My uncle’s planning to show me how to handle mortal summonings, he said. Once I receive my titles.”

“Yeah, when is that? Andrealphus has been stewarding your legions for almost a year now, right?”

“Soon, in the next month. Then we’ll be petitioning Satan to have them formally handed over.”

“And he hasn’t even taken you to the mortal realm yet?”

“...No, not yet.”

The crow exchanged a knowing smile to the others, and Octavia could feel a wave of amusement pass over them. 

“It’s not like that. He can be obsessed with himself, but my mom’s not going to let him try anything.”

“Look out,” the dragoness spoke up again, “I think she’s going to end up like her father.” 

That prompted open laughter now. Shit. Octavia couldn’t stop herself from zeroing in, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know I mean nothing by it. But, all of that conspiring against Satan, and he didn’t even let his patsy take the fall correctly… forgive me, but I thought Stolas was meant to be one of the wisest of the Goetia?”

Oh what they didn’t know. That was no mere patsy, the confessed conspiracy was all a ruse. If they knew the truth, that he had been fucking an imp… Yes yes, cheating on her mother was bad, but Octavia had picked up that their marriage wasn’t exactly a happy one years ago. 

It had been the way that he’d brought that imp on their ‘father-daughter day.’ The way that he’d forgotten Azathoth’s Tears because he’d been too busy arguing with his wife over their divorce. It had fueled the fear she had, a fear that he’d always managed to quench with every reconciliation. Every time they’d talked and made up, she’d hoped that she’d never have to worry about it again. And then… something else would happen. Every ‘sorry’ had led to another blow. 

And now he was gone. Exiled from their home altogether, blocked from seeing her. He’d insisted that wasn’t what he wanted, but the pills she found… were they just for her mother, his bitchy wife? Or were they because of her? And if they weren’t because of her, why hadn’t he told her? Why had he just left her here with the wife he hated, and her fucking uncle, didn’t even try to call until the morning after his conviction?

All for that imp. 

“Yeah,” she cleared her throat, trying to hide the way her voice cracked. “I thought so too. But he’s just a fucking moron in the end.”

The silence grew uncomfortable around her. She looked into her glass. By Satan, what did she just say? She downed her entire drink. It burned in her throat and her eyes squeezed shut as she blindly held out the glass. An unseen imp took it. With a sigh, she opened her eyes again, looked around her peers, and forced a smile. 

“What? I answered your question, didn’t I? Oh, nearly forgot, as for my uncle? He tries anything, I've got plans for him."

"Really? Like what?"

Shit she called the bluff. Octavia grabbed the first thing that popped in her mind, "I already have Zepar on my side.”

Oh that fucking did it. Octavia felt a grim satisfaction at their surprised faces. “How do you know him?” the dragoness tried to push back. “You’re not at these events!”

“You don’t see me, that says more about you than me.”

The crow laughed at that, this time laughing with her. “I didn’t know you had that in you Octavia! Fuck yeah!” The dragoness looked away, the others smiled again. But Octavia could feel the stare in her back. She turned her head to check. 

Stella lingered at the edge of the ballroom, watching intently. She gave an approving nod. 

“It’s been seven decades. It was your trial, following the humans’ second Great War.”

“Oh right! Yes! That!” Oh he was so thrilled she brought this up. “You all dragged me up here because you thought that I had something to do with that! And then it turned out I’d just been focusing on getting girls to wear their dresses higher, and had nothing to do with the fact that humans just wanted to kill each other that badly! Now I remember that, yes!”

Sera turned to face him now, the thin smile on her lips. “It’s good to see you again, Morning Star.” 

He was lucky that Sera was so good at actually exhibiting the patience that she was ordered to; many other angels wouldn’t be as accommodating as she was. Lucifer shook his head, looking over the edge of the clouds. Down below was a patchwork of fields, a city sprawling out nearby, slowly sliding past with the rotation of the planet. He held the slender black rod of his scepter in both hands. “I’m guessing this is about Charlie.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh please,” he looked back up at her; they were both seraphim, and yet she was almost twice his height. “If this was just a sisterly check-up, it’d be the first one. Let me guess, Dad’s real pissed that we killed the first human.”

She didn’t respond at first. Oh he hated that trained expression that angels all wore, the one that gave away no feeling at all. “...No, He has said nothing about it.”

“Right, shouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t like to say a whole lot these days, does he? Silent treatment and all. Guess it’s you then? Or maybe Lilith’s finally coming at me for a custody dispute?”

She closed her eyes again. Finally, he was getting her to act normal. The moment passed, she looked back down at him. “...Lucifer, it is good to see you again.”

The little flame biting at him, raring to go, suddenly quelled. He lowered his scepter. “Sera?”

No response. She looked far away, over the land below, over the coastline where it became ocean, to the distant curvature of the planet. At the very edge of the horizon the sun seemed to turn the water fiery gold. 

“...Sera, what’s going on?”

Her eyes came back to him. “Father did actually say something.”

No. His fingers clutched his scepter tighter. 

“‘It is time.’” 

“No… no, it’s not, it can’t be time yet! You must have heard him wrong!”

“There’s no mistaking it. The day of Armageddon is upon us.”

“No, no no no no no, Sera there must be some kind of mistake!” 

His wings spread and he flew up to her face, but she stepped back. “I’m sorry, but this is His will. Preparations are already in motion that cannot be stopped. But,” she raised a hand, cutting off his interjection, “for the record, we only found out about the date yesterday. And,” her eyebrows raised, “ I insisted you be informed as soon as possible, since you are actually acting the part of King of Hell again. You and the hellborn will have your part to play in the apocalypse.”

Lucifer was still panting, unable to even accept this. Of course Sera paid no mind to him, she was just plowing forward. It made it so difficult to argue back at her, she’d just assume you agreed with her and move on. But he didn’t have the energy to keep on his main point. “...Right, yes.”

She stared past him, and recited, her words turning his blood to ice: “‘The Beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority. It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name… given power to wage war against God’s holy people and to conquer them. And it was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation. All inhabitants of the earth will worship the Beast…’”

He swallowed. “...Riiiight. I remember. So, I rule the world for forty-two months?”

“I’m afraid not. You will rule the world, yes, but we have decided that a more appropriate amount of time would—”

“Wait wait, hold on.” His shock was giving way to his usual annoyance. “I read your damn book front-to-back hundreds of times. You know. Because you made it a sin to read your own fucking holy book.” 

“That was the humans’ rule.”

“Okay whatever. I know it says forty-two months in there. We get three and a half years to do what we want!”

“It’s figurative, Lucifer. We have decided—”

“IT’S ALWAYS FUCKING FIGURATIVE!” She actually recoiled a bit as flames burst from his sleeves, as fury filled his eyes. “Whenever something’s a little fucking inconvenient for you in your shitty book, it’s figurative! Newsflash Sera, that ‘Revelation’ was some dipshit human marooned on some island in the middle of nowhere who went on a bad trip! Look at me! LOOK AT ME! Do I look like I have seven heads and ten horns?! I know that’s also in there! Or am I not the Beast, have you all ‘decided’ that too and you decided to not tell me, because you don’t tell me ANYTHING!”

“I am telling you now!” 

Oh he’d gotten to her. Her face was cross, her voice hard. He kept seething, glaring up at her. His horns had come out, his tail too, he hadn’t even realized it. 

“I did not make you decide to all but abdicate your throne, so you could waste your time building… toys of ducks, alone in your room. The throne of Hell laid empty and Satan is not exactly receptive to any attempts to contact him. Now that you are actually in the public eye again, yes, I am now telling you what was decided in your absence. When the time comes, we will rapture the pure souls from the world. You and the demons of Hell will be granted dominion over the mortal realm for forty-nine days.”

“FORTY-” Lucifer bit his tongue at another glare from his sister. 

“At the end of this time, Armageddon occurs. There will be the apocalyptic battle between Heaven and Hell, and the Last Judgment. You and the hellborn and the fallen humans will be thrown into Eternal Torment. And a new, pure Kingdom of God will reign forever.”

It was happening. It was actually happening. Lucifer shook his head, trying to stoke his anger, because the alternative was to let the creeping horror consume him.

“I’m sorry Lucifer. At the end of these forty-nine days, Earth and Hell will be destroyed.  There’s nothing I can do. It’s His word.”

He turned, stormed away, the clouds keeping pace with his feet. They churned grey and black beneath his stride… then he turned back. “And what if I refuse?! You know, Mr. Bad Boy over here!”

“Then the humans wake up to find their innocent vanished, puzzle about it for seven weeks, and then they are destroyed. And Hell afterwards. The prophecy cannot be swayed, Lucifer.”

“You can’t—” 

But he caught himself. What was he supposed to say here? Heaven couldn’t do this? They had spent centuries coming down to his domain, slaughtering sinners in the open and hellborn in secret… wait a minute. 

“This is about my daughter, isn’t it?”

At that Sera’s face actually gave way to surprise. “No, no it has nothing to do with her, or the efforts she’s making to rehabilitate sinners. It’s just a coincidence, the timing of it all.”

“It’s a real funny coincidence. Too bad you were always a terrible comedian.”

Her eyes fell again, “‘About that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven—’”

“Can you stop quoting that stupid thing at me?! I know what it fucking says, and I know how you fucking use it. Whatever you want to do, you just pull some passage out of your ass, but if I try the same trick, that part’s not meant to be taken seriously! And you win because you have legions of divine angels, because you’re in Dad’s good graces, and I’m the piece of shit who got kicked out because I wanted something a little bit more for Creation!” 

With a furious yell he kicked at a wisp of cloud. Lightning cracked across the sky. He stood there, fists clenching so tight he feared his nails would bite into his palm. Everything in him was burning, smoldering, even as Sera came up beside him. Go ahead, he spat in his head. Say I deserve it, that it’s my punishment a long time coming. Or try to make me feel better. Go ahead.

“Get yourself and the Sins ready. We will give the signal when your time starts, at the unlocking of the fifth seal.”

Oh so the sealed scroll got to be literal. He bit back the barb though to ask, “What about the first four seals? Conquest, War, Famine and Plague?” 

“They have been open for some years now.”

He opened his mouth to protest… but then he considered the past several years on Earth. “...I probably should have realized that already.”

Lucifer looked down again at the city. Over the course of their conversation, it had slid farther away, towards the patch of golden sunlight. Even all these many miles up, with his celestial sight Lucifer could look down into the streets. A mother juggling five kids and a phone call. A group of young men in suits laughing at a cafe table. An old woman stringing her clothes in a line over an alleyway. By now his horns and tail had receded, but his wings stayed up.

“How many are you sparing?”

Sera looked down with him. “There’s been… disappointment, I know, in the moral fiber of humanity. The powers of temptation have been great.” He could feel the pointed remark digging into him. “Even those who most loudly profess to be holy followers, are some of the most wicked of all.” 

“How many?”

“We will spare the small children, those too young to understand how to sin. Otherwise, there are precious few with truly good souls. Almost everybody will be left. The living will have a last chance at redemption at the Last Judgment, but they will still have to face the tribulations.”

Lucifer could see it… the city burning, the oceans red with blood. Rents in the ground opening up, stars striking the surface, all beneath a festering sky. So many lives that would be upended, both here and down below. “Was there anything else?”

“Well… I have been meaning to ‘catch up’ with you. Your daughter caused quite a stir in heaven, she’s certainly yours!”

“Don’t.” Why did she always do this? He shot a glare back up at her, just in time to see her attempted smile disappear. “Don’t try to pretend you care about me. You want to catch up, maybe feel like you were a good sister, knowing that I won’t be alive in two months? Is that what you want, some kind of absolution?” He brandished his scepter up at her. “That ain’t exactly my thing, if you haven’t noticed.”