Sword Of Dorkness

Velma heard I had a Ko-fi and naturally assumed someone was buying her coffee.

Instead, she discovered Color Me Cryptid Vol. 1: a downloadable 12-page coloring zine featuring five original monster girls, their delightfully questionable biographies, and full-page line art ready for your pencils, markers, or crayons.

Meet Velma, Lilith, Moira, Nova, and Seraphina. Color them responsibly—or don’t. They certainly wouldn’t.

Available now on both Etsy and Ko-fi.

Apparently YouTube has imprisoned Nova at five views, which seems rude.

Nova has crash-landed into Hot Monster Summer! And apparently she’s giving Velma some competition.

She heard there was a party.

Nobody told her no.

Would you let her crash yours?

Hot Monster Summer has begun!

Meet the crew of the Harem of Horrors:

🔥 Velma Shade – sarcastic succubus

🌊 Gillian – ignored the “No Swimming” sign

👽 Nova Lux – came to Earth to party

🌙 Moira Gleam – lovable mothwoman, easily distracted

Who’s joining YOUR summer?

Every lake has a “NO SWIMMING” sign.

Gillian has never considered that to be a suggestion worth following.

Velma’s idea of a relaxing vacation is sitting poolside, sipping a flaming drink, and emotionally devastating strangers with unsolicited honesty.

Cryptid convention vendor hall headcanon:

• Mothwoman sells art prints

• The Jersey Devil runs a sticker shop

• The Mimic is somehow both a vendor AND a booth

Meet Mothwoman: cryptid, heartthrob, and probable reason your porch light won’t stop flickering.

Watch the video

I’ve been slowly building up a collection of character artwork from my D&D campaigns, and I finally put together a short showcase featuring five of them.

Whether you’re into fantasy art, tabletop RPGs, character design, or just enjoy seeing original characters come to life, I hope you enjoy it.

Full video on YouTube:

My tablet is in the shop and I am learning that my entire personality was apparently stored inside one glowing rectangle.

Anyway, new video:

Three vampires.

One beach party.

Velma is still a succubus.

Yes, that kind.

The kind who will ruin your week, your sleep schedule, and your ability to make good decisions.

She can tell why this keeps happening to you.

Again.

Medusa upgraded her lighting and her patience.

You think you’re immune?

You think you’re built different?

Look at her sunglasses and tell me that with a straight face.

Mothwoman noticed you noticed.

You weren’t subtle.

You never are.

She’s already in the air.

They told me not to let them out again.

They’ve been in the dressing room.

Arguing.

Posing.

Adjusting straps.

Ignoring common sense.

And now they’re back.

Harem of Horrors has officially reopened.

From moody wall art to things you can carry, sip from, or hang somewhere that absolutely does not match the rest of your decor.

There are prints.

There are canvases.

There are totes.

There are mugs.

For the cryptid enjoyers.

For the morally questionable.

For the “hear me out” crowd.

The shop is open.

No peeking.

Unless you’re planning to stay.

The Velvet Wall is open, and the girls are waiting.

Velma’s feeling wicked, Mothwoman’s watching, and Mariah Krampus is ready to unwrap you.

💋 25% off through December 19 — because you deserve something sinful under your tree.

❄️ Cold out? Good. You’ll need the chill.

Because Mothwoman’s First Sighting just hit the Velvet Wall — and she’s all glowing eyes, toned thighs, and midnight wings.

This isn’t some cutesy lil cryptid doodle.

This is a full-sized canvas pinup, hand-stretched, professionally printed, and ready to dominate your wall like the warning she is.

Available now in three sizes — ships in time to make your holidays weird in the best way.

✨ Canvas-exclusive

✨ Free U.S. shipping

✨ Eyes up. Wings out.

She steps into the headlights with a look that’s half warning, half invitation.

My newest monster-girl pinup: a seductive, eerie reimagining of the classic 1966 Mothman sighting — hovering on a lonely Appalachian road with glowing eyes and trembling wings.

Full piece is up on ArtStation!

Black Friday ads: BUY MORE PLASTIC

Me: Here’s Velma — a collector-quality canvas print who will absolutely judge your latte order AND look incredible on your wall.

Support small artists, give premium gifts, summon monster girls. Claim her HERE!