Red Hair, Don’t Care

It’s honestly been probably a few years since I last posted. I’ve been thinking about this blog the last few days and how it shaped my life. For the good, because I learned how to workout and be active and have those healthy habits from a young age, and because I met some amazing people. For the bad because for a while I had some disordered eating habits (though thankfully never a full blown ED), a bit of body dysmorphia, and was constantly posting images of my body on this app for validation.

If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to, I’ve graduated college and started working in my profession. Fitness wise, I gave up powerlifting when the pandemic started since I couldn’t go to the gym. I tried to pick it back up again for a few months, and it was fun, but it was a bit of a headache to fit in to my life working full time. I now do a mix of running, kickboxing, some dumbbell work, and Pilates from home. It fits in with my life and I love having different types of activities to choose from. I honestly never thought I was going to give it up, but as I’ve gotten older (and the world changed drastically), it just didn’t fit anymore.

Thinking back, I was sooooo entrenched in fitness and diet culture on this app and on Instagram. I always felt like I needed to be super shredded and couldn’t ever be happy with how my body just was. It’s ridiculous because when I look back on old photos it’s clear that I was lean and in great shape!! I just wasn’t the “bikini model” lean I was constantly comparing myself to, which is such an unhealthy and dangerous standard. As I’m now approaching my late 20s, I’ve done a lot of work on body acceptance and feeling confident in my skin no matter what. I think stepping away almost completely from fitness social media is really the only way I was able to divorce myself from my old mindset, and I am better for it. Of course, the rise of the body positivity and body acceptance movements on social media have also facilitated these changes. I just felt bone tired with always feeling like I needed to change my body.

I’ve seen a lot of posts the last few days from some people who used to be into fitspo and then realized it was so unsustainable and really moved towards body acceptance, and it got me thinking what other people who were entrenched in fitness spaces are doing now. So if you see this post and remember little old me, I’d love to hear about how life is going for you ☺️

and here’s some recent pics of me