Free! meta

Hello! This is a great question. Thank you so much for asking.

Coincidentally I was just asked the same thing on Twitter as well, and I can definitely see why it would be problematic for many viewers to grapple with. As you say, it doesn’t sit well to consider that Rin’s apparent need for Haru in order to excel had some undue influence on Haru’s decision to eventually go pro, or that Rin wouldn’t have been able to make it without him.

I think there are a couple of factors to think about here:

1) Rin’s decision

As my Twitter asker (the lovely saltwaterunicorn) pointed out, Rin’s decision to return to Australia seemed to have been made well before Haru made up his own mind, before the trip to Australia.

I believe we’re meant to infer that Rin’s coach sent him the ticket for this purpose, and by accepting his invite to fly back, Rin had every intention to see him and take that next step. He didn’t just come to that decision somewhere along the way during this trip.

This tells us that Rin had already decided on his path, with or without Haru, one way or another, and therefore on a fundamental level, he doesn’t actually need Haru. The fact that he’s prepared to go ahead into the world of competitive swimming and chase his own dream, while Haru is still in a state of vacillation, proves that. I think the show has also consistently emphasised that Rin has a very firm and definite goal in sight, and he has always worked towards that goal with a single-minded determination (save for the few years when he lost his way and stopped swimming). So I think it would discredit Rin’s character portrayal to see him as so reliant on Haru to make his dream come true.

This meta has been in the pipeline for just about forever, I’m sorry Nagisa, I love you, I don’t know why it took me so long to get around to you.

Anyway! I wanted to take a closer look at S2E5 aka the Nagisa episode of Free! Eternal Summer, specifically, Nagisa’s characterisation in it. Nagisa is actually a very difficult character to pin down, mostly because he seems so straightforward. He ticks all the boxes of being the bubbly, pushy, noisy little one of the show, but I think S2E5 brings out a more hidden side of him that had previously been hinted at but hadn’t been seen in full, which is his tendency towards self-effacement.

Nagisa makes a lot of noise over small things, but actually, especially when it comes to the big things, he constantly tries to minimise himself. He’s happy to bask in glory when it’s related to the achievements of the swim club…

…but if it touches himself too personally, Nagisa curls up and makes himself as small and unnoticeable as possible.

We see this right from the start where he shows up at Haru’s back porch and tries to go about things without disturbing Haru or letting anyone know he’s there.

And the next day when Rei points out that it’s the wrong season for the Leonids, Nagisa is quite ready to say that he made a mistake, that he was careless. It’s a small thing, but it shows that he’s happy to make himself look ignorant and that he’d rather do that than admit to the seriousness of what’s really troubling him.

These are my opinions and you’re free to disagree with them.  But if you do, please be respectful and remember that I love this character too.

So here goes.

Makoto Tachibana rambles.

However, the most common argument I’ve seen against Haru’s desire to start swimming more competitively is, “Oh, but swimming is Haru’s escape!!!” Which is…well…precisely why Haru needs to care more about swimming competitively.

So I don’t want to call out the post that got me started on this, because that’s just mean and I don’t want to bring them anymore grief.  But there is a common mindset in the fandom that Makoto is some how “unimportant” or “irrelevant to the plot” and quite honestly? That’s not okay.

(this got really, really long and there’s some shipping talk so here’s a cut)

Hey there anon!

Whoa. Okay. This came kind of unexpected, but thankyou for the interest. I had to sit on this ask for a while because it is anincredibly loaded topic for me, personally – back when ES was airing, I don’tthink there was a single other thing that disappointed me about the season asmuch as the way KyoAni handled Haru going pro. Not because I was opposed to theidea on some kind of fundamental principle –which I will talk about in asecond– but because the pacing of the season essentially killed any chance atselling that arc to me like Ireally, really wish it had.

Now, the subject is a bit of a landmine totackle because honestly? I’m still a little undecided on the result. On onehand, I can’t exactly agree with the comments you referred to, given thatthe idea of Haru “just wanting a quiet life” seems to overlook allthe scenes that argue the opposite: from his competitive streak to literallyadmitting that certain aspects of his life were not enough for him anymore (i.e. his current,“tamed” relationship with water), it’s hard if not impossible for meto believe that deep down he was never more ambitious than that. After all, Haru’s entirecharacter revolves around initially rejecting the unfamiliar – be it Rin, therelay, or even his friends’ compassion, there’s always a stage of “I don’twant this, it feels alien and scary, just let me live how I always have.”And yet, some of the most rewarding things in his life turned out to be precisely the unfamiliar, enough for himto want to run and scream through his comfort zones; therefore, taking all his defiance atface value kinda ignores the way an unreliable narrator works. You can’t interpret everything Haru says asobjective truth, which was the whole point of his fight with Makoto – that Haruhad pushed his fear of change so far into self-denial that even his best friendcouldn’t sit back and keep silent.

But this doesn’t mean I’ll take an olympic* Haru at100% face value either.

(shit this got long, so under a cut it goes)

I acknowledge how hypocritical it is for me to cry about not having time to write stuff while I simultaneously crank out meta, but contrary to popular belief these actually don’t take that long – and even if they did, I operate on inspiration. I had been planning this one for a while now (read: first during the drafting of Kaiyukan, and then again when I prepared notes for my lecture), because Haruka and Rin’s dysfunctional relationship IS at the core of Free! in many ways.

I have written about Haruka and Makoto, after all; theirs is a relationship that shifts back and forth between a nurturing symbiosis and stifling dependence, but at the end of the day they care about one another enough to avoid the worst of such pitfalls. The same is, of course, no less true with Haruka and Rin; as I said before, no dynamic goes without a shadow, but these shadows can be worked on and overcome when two people genuinely care about one another. The strength of that conviction is what makes Free! such a fascinating show to me to begin with.

In the end, the conflict that fuels the entire first season is simple, and also the basis for this post:

Rin and Haruka repeatedly misunderstand each other’s actions and motives because they come from two very different places of emotional cognition. Moreover, their ways of reacting to said emotional stimulus are likewise almost polar opposites, which naturally complicates matters. And if that wasn’t enough, these opposites often hit the exact most sensitive spots for both characters, as their instinctive modes of self-preservation also have the tendency of striking the other person where it hurts the most – be it on purpose or by accident.

Haruka and Rin could easily destroy one another. What’s crucial to the narrative is that they don’t.

Lately I’ve been talking about Nitori’s character with a bunch of people again, and I figured I’d write down some of my thoughts on the reason why his character tends to split the fandom down the middle. Given that he’s not much more than a side character with very limited character development, the fact that he is capable of rousing such extreme emotion on both sides of the spectrum is nothing short of fascinating, so I’ll try to objectively tackle both (as well as offer my subjective view, because why the hell not).

DISCLAIMER: I don’t hate Nitori, though admittedly I’ve never been his biggest fan (for reasons which I shall disclose below). My best friend, however, loves Nitori more than any other character on the show, so safe to say I have no agenda in trying to paint Nitori as the antichrist either. I’m not trying to convert anyone onto either side, but perhaps offer some food for thought on why some of the extremes are capable of hurting people on both sides of the spectrum.

EDIT : now that the second season has started to air, please note that this post is only regarding the first season of Free!. Rin appears to have changed a lot in the intervening 6 months between seasons.

———————————————————————–

A while back I wrote the following tags on this post I reblogged:

#BTDUBS IF YOU THINK RIN WAS IN A POSITION TO NOTICE HARU WAS HAPPY TO SEE HIM #YOU ARE INCORRECT SORRY … #depression literally impairs cognitive functioning #WE KNOW THIS #and if you don’t think Rin was exhibiting pretty clear depression symptoms #i just #don’t know what to tell you #???? 

and I thought I should expand on this.

I obviously have strong feelings on the interpretation of Rin exhibiting signs of depression, but now I’d like to take slightly more measured look at the evidence instead of just yelling at you in tags.

Using the diagnostic criteria for depression (aka depressive episode for the purposes of this post) I am going to be examining Rin’s behavior in Free! and to a lesser extent High Speed! to see if Rin could actually warrant a hypothetical diagnosis, by looking to see if any of his behaviors would be consistent with depression, which is the best I’ll be able to do.

First, a disclaimer: I am not qualified to give a dx of depression, I am not a medical mental health professional; if you feel you recognize some of the symptoms I will discuss in yourself please go see one. Living with depression sucks balls.

That being said… let’s go!

On my first watch, I had wondered why Rin had started to talk about his hardships in Australia to Haruka. Yes, I knew that it would come up eventually, but why did he start when he started?

Then it hit me. He consoled Haruka about his inevitable separation with Makoto, an issue Haruka has yet to face, even after this episode.

———————-

It happened in the beach scene:

At this point, it’s undeniable that:

Makoto’s post-graduation plans = separation between Haruka and Makoto.

That’s what it was for their close physical proximity. From this point on, their paths in life must divide.

Haruka is afraid of change. A separation from Makoto, a friend he’s been with his whole life is one of the biggest changes he has to face at this moment in his life. It is natural to be afraid though. Change means a dive into unknown waters (no pun, I swear) and the unknown is scary.

Makoto wanted to tell Haruka of his plans as soon as possible because, in the end, it will happen, so it’s for the best for Haruka to know early, so he can get used to the idea (the reality will soon follow).

Then, this shot happened:

We can’t see Rin’s face here and I always wondered why. And even then, we had this shot.

The first time, I had wondered:

“Why the sudden change in subject? Isn’t this an issue that is supposed to be tackled in this scene? If it wasn’t, why bring it up altogether? Why is he talking about himself now?”

After all, since this is a TV show, everything is directed and for a purpose, on the contrast with real life.

Watching the episode for a second time, I got why.

Rin faced the same thing Haruka is facing now. Even more, he went to another country on his own.

His own best friend, Sousuke, Makoto’s equivalent in Rin’s life, was in the other hemisphere of the planet.

There were no familiar faces watchoever around him, everything had changed completely, even the language, the means of basic communication. We know that Russell turned out to be a wonderful homestay father, but to Rin, this was the first impression. It was unknown, changed, unfamiliar, scary.

What Rin is telling Haruka here is

“Change is scary in the beginning, yes.”

…bit it doesn’t stay like this forever. There are things that stay the same everywhere. And through these things, we’re being connected with the people that are familiar with us.“

Things like the ocean.

Rin tasted change and the unknown full force and head on. And much, much earlier in his life than Haruka does. However, he came out of it wiser, thinking that his best friend and the person he felt such a connection to, Haruka, were just an ocean away.

And what is an ocean for a swimmer, anyway?

Yes, it sounds cheesy, but at the bottomline, this is Free! and this is Rin Matsuoka. Free! is cheesy and romantic and sensitive and Rin Matsuoka even more so.

The rest of the episode and specifically until the moment they left from Russell and Lori’s home, Rin was constantly showing Haruka one single thing:

Change can bring wonderful new things, too.

Like a family that is there for you.

——————

And I really think that this is a slight stab at the absense of Haruka’s parents in their son’s life.

"Free spirits”…

…my ass. Even the bed colours are parallels dammit.

Ahem.

Back at the point, Rin is saying that he understands Haruka’s position now, because he was in the same situation four years ago.

Yes, “now”. Because before, indeed, Rin didn’t understand Haruka.

Haruka’s behaviour (the yelling and the punching) here is simply awful, but his words are true. Rin assumed he knew Haruka, but he didn’t.

Not that this misunderstanding was difficult to happen, since Haruka sucks when it comes to communication even when he does know the language.

IKR?

So, Rin, now understanding Haruka’s position, throughout the whole episode 12, is doing something very important.

I’m sure you have heard the golden rule of storytelling until now:

Show. Don’t tell.

Yes, Rin can’t show the moment he hit a wall in his training, so he does talk:

Et cetera. I can’t show you the whole thing, so watch it yourselves.

The funny thing?

Haruka misunderstands Rin’s intentions.

Haruka feels inferior to Rin after his talk. And really, he’s not wrong. He’s inferior to life experiences and lessons learned. He’s inferior to Rin in the knack of living, if you wish.

But what Rin is really telling Haruka is that he can get these kind of experiences and richness in his life as well.

All Haruka needs to do is to take the first step…

…and the world is open to him.

And Haruka looked up and saw it.

..and Rin never uttered a word about this.

“You can do whatever you want.” “Don’t worry, it gets better.” “You can’t stop change from coming, so don’t be afraid of it.” “Change is scary, but it can also be exciting.” “You don’t know for sure, so give it a chance!” “It will be alright.”

All those are words that Rin could say, but never did because he knew what Haruka needed: not words, but actions. A sight he’s never seen before.

He took Haruka by the metaphorical hand and showed him the better aspects of change, what may come after separation. That new can be exciting and wonderful and there is no reason for Haruka to be afraid or sad about change.

And the best part? He told him that he believes in him, that he can do whatever he wants in the best way possible.

The guy who had so many life experiences, the guy Haruka feels inferior at in the whole life department admires him…

…wants to swim just like him…

…that one speaks for itself.

And all of these actions, sightseeing and confessions, cleared Haruka’s mind from fear, self-doubt, feelings of inadeqacy and inferiority, maybe even jealousy at Rin’s richer life and had this as a result:

Haruka needed that journey badly.

Rin taught him how to deal with separation (water will always connect us), change (unknown and scary but full of possibilities for good things) and self doubt (you’re my inspiration).

Without telling him everything.

Free! Eternal Summer is the season of dreams, after all.

And showing is better than telling.

This has been on my mind for a while…

In the chronology of Free!, High Speed! 2 takes us up to the first tournament of these boys’ in middle school, which would be summer of their first year. The next time marker we get is in winter break of their first year, when Haru and Rin run into each other and have that fateful race at Iwatobi SC.

Then there’s a time gap until Free! S1E1. This is a lapse of roughly three years and four months, spanning the remaining two years of Makoto and Haru’s middle school lives, and the first year of high school.

We don’t really have much information on what happened during these missing years, so there’s not really a point in speculating about it too much, but what really intrigues me about them is the MakoHaru dynamic within these three years.

We know that Haru never told Makoto what happened with Rin. Makoto didn’t even know that Rin had returned that winter. So if we look at it from Makoto’s point of view, all he knew, back then, was that Haru returned to middle school from winter break and suddenly quit the swimming club, and on top of that, refused to tell him why.

So I rewatched the episode and I noticed something else, after Haruka makes his little comments about swimming the relay and saying that’s what he came all this way for… Makoto does not believe him. Makoto is hurt because I think Makoto knows that Haru is scared and running away. 

Wow I got hella wordy here. I’m just going to separate each paragraph into Haru’s POV and Rin’s POV. Basically, I’m going to do an overall take on each side’s perspectives during the fight. I am a sucker for stream of conscious writing so expect a lot of that.

Despite Nitori being one of the most prominent supporting cast members of Free!, he’s one of those characters who can be easy to sideline or ignore. This is particularly pronounced with the introduction of Sousuke in S2 as a new foil to Rin, supplanting some of Nitori’s S1 role.

His general character arc, from green newbie and lousy swimmer to new Samezuka captain, is quite well known. But I wanted to write a bit about how we’ve actually been given glimpses of his strength and his potential all along, from the beginning of S1.

The first time we meet him, he seems to be little more than Rin’s bubbly kouhai. But then, within S1E3, the Iwatobi team come to Samezuka for joint practice and we get this.

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that Mikoshiba turns to Nitori first?

It could just be that Nitori is a very junior member who ends up being first in line for this kind of random errand. But when you look at Nitori, he’s seriously no nonsense in this scene. He’s not flustered or vague, just firm and businesslike in his “Come with me”. I think Mikoshiba knows what he’s doing when he calls on Nitori to do stuff.

At this point we’ve been told already that Nitori saw their relay race in elementary school, and was awed by it. He knows of Haru, Makoto and Nagisa. So I think it is very commendable and says something about his poise that he doesn’t fall apart into a fanboying mess in front of them, and this new swimmer whom, he has every reason to assume, must be pretty good to be swimming with these guys. He’s up to bossing Rei around and dragging him bodily if he needs to.

And then we get this scene right after.

I have way too many thoughts swimming (ha! see what I did there) around in my head after watching Episode 11, so let me just start with:

Guys, Makoto and Haruka are fine. They are going to be okay. In fact, in my opinion, this confrontation was good for them.

Here’s why.

Makoto has always been Haru’s silent supporter. When everyone’s at his house after last year’s prefecturals waiting for him, trying to call him and leave voicemail about the relay, Makoto is the one to tell everyone it’s ok - leave it - and he doesn’t say anything in the voicemail either. 

Their mutual understanding and support cuts both ways. Haru is the one to ask Makoto if it’s really okay for him to swim in the ocean, and he doesn’t hesitate to jump in and cut Rei off when he feels like Makoto is being pressured to talk about his childhood fears. Haru tells Makoto that he appreciates him being there for him.

In fact, when Makoto starts teaching at Iwatobi SC and Nagisa and Rei are falling over themselves to go join him, Haru is the one who says everyone has their own stuff to deal with and there’s no need for it. Haru, of all people, has shown an understanding that Makoto is his own person who has his own dreams to follow.

The reason Makoto has always been able to silently support Haru, through his many ups and downs, is because he respects Haru’s feelings. More than that, he has always had faith that Haru will work through his feelings by himself eventually, given enough time and space to himself.

So this confrontation in Episode 11 was needed, because that wasn’t true anymore.

In the wake of the fandom apocalypse that was Free! ES Episode 11, I wanted to do a post on that other MakoHaru episode this season, Episode 6: the one where Makoto races Haru in the 200m freestyle at prefecturals.

In retrospect, I think it is quite possible (maybe even likely) that the events of this episode marked the turning point for Makoto, in terms of finding his future. By racing Haru seriously for the first time, and losing, Makoto came to a new understanding of the role that swimming plays in his life.

Let’s take it from their childhood. Warning: screencap-heavy, long post.

This was a really nice episode that rewards rewatching and paying attention to the detail. There are a lot of immediate reactions that Haru’s change of heart feels sudden and out of character, for a guy who’s spent all his life saying he has no interest in competition. But I think that ignores the fact that, for someone who says that, Haru’s sure spent a lot of time in swimming competitions, and winning them. He swims relays for his friends, but why does he swim to win solo competitions?

This episode gives us some much-needed insight into that part of Haru’s mind, and it had to be Rin who brought that out, because that is not how Makoto relates to Haru. Makoto himself knows that. That’s why he turned Haru over to Rin.

I think Haru’s actions this whole season are extremely understandable and very relatable to me personally, because I may not be like Haru in most ways, but I did have my ‘pushing people away because I’m unsure about what path I should take/don’t want to admit what I actually want’ - phase and I was quite a bit older than Haru at that time.

That doesn’t mean I excuse his actions, though. I don’t think they are unforgiveable, especially because it’s not like Haru has been screaming in people’s faces for years. But I also do think that the way Haru has been acting was hurtful and not right, and he needs to get his head on straight and apologize before he gets to a point where he can’t apologize enough.

Right now we are looking at a fight per person, that’s not unfixable. Of course this whole situation has been brewing the whole season (maybe even some of the months before hand) and there is a reason Makoto didn’t feel comfortable asking Haru for advice concerning his choice of university and why Haru didn’t ask.

Haru snapping at both Makoto and Rin clearly shows that he’s been growing more and more defensive as time goes on and he’s now at the stage where he perceives everything as an attack, even if it just contains the words “future” and “dream”. Again, I’ve been there and it’s stupid and shitty, but you don’t even realise while you are doing it, that you are defending against an attack that was never there.

But it’s not like we are looking at constant abuse, we are looking at a few months tops in which Haru has been trying to ignore a problem into going away and this is the result of that just not working.

The thing is though, what makes me so angry and sad and I’m sorry I keep harping on that topic, but do you know why I didn’t actually have a huge falling out with my friends at that time in my life? Because they didn’t actually have to bear the brunt of it. Because when I told them to back off, they could, because you know who didn’t?

My family. And we had tearful screaming fights where I apologized for being a disappointment and they tried to make me see that I wasn’t, they were just worried, they just were tired of walking on eggshells around me all the time. They were the ones that pushed, that made sure I couldn’t just stand still, that helped me make a decision.

Pushing Haru, being raved and snapped at, having to deal with the hurt and confusion in someone that is that dear to you, should not in this case fall to Rin and Makoto (and Rei and Nagisa), who are just as young and confused maybe in other ways, but still. It should fall to Haru’s parents.