Dear Taylor...

I watched the Folklore album thing on Disney+ just now. I guess I want to share my thoughts with you on it:

I noticed the bottle of wine(?) sitting on the ground by your chair in the campfire scenes. It might be champagne. Fun fact: I was drunk by noon today from drinking champagne. It’s a fun drink.

Jack and Aaron make funny faces when playing. Did you guys rehearse any of this? I feel like some songs y’all were waiting on someone to cue when the song would end. I thought it was funny. And made it seem....less.......produced? Not sure if that’s the word I’m looking for. Maybe a better word would be structure? Another fun fact: After the bottle of champagne, I started drinking Malibu and peach juice. It tastes like a peach snapple.

Cardigan gave me goosebumps!!! WHOA. Mega uber WHOA. Standing ovation. THIRTEEN thumbs up! 10/10 would recommend.

You have expressive eyes.

I relate so much more to This Is Me Trying now. Especially after the explanation. This was going to be a very different letter before watching Folklore. I’ve been...having a harsh week. I cried for 2 hours straight last night on my way to my sister’s. It’s been a bad week. It keeps getting worse. At one point on my drive I just kinda...WHY, ya know? Why am I pushing myself and going through this hell? Why? For what? Things don’t seem to get better. They get worse. I adjust and get “complacent” with the worse. Then they get even more worse. Cycle repeats. I’m living in a sphere of me trying, failing, and falling behind. Idk...last night I found myself asking these questions. My dog is the only thing keeping me alive at this point.

Ya. Bad week/year/life for me.

Anywho. Another thing I wanted to bring up: thank you for recognizing suicide. But not in the obvious “suicide isn’t the answer” kind of way. As someone who has been turned down by therapists and been pretty much dismissed by the people on the suicide hotline, it’s so...deflating. defeating. dehumanizing. to be like “HI I NEED HELP” and have literally no one, not even trained professionals, help you in return. Makes me feel worthless.

This is turning into a dark place.

Anywho. You bring it up. But you don’t....preach? about it. There’s no soap box. There’s just this, “ya, you’ve reached your breaking point. i get it.” I’ve literally been told to shut up about my problems this week. Really. It happened. And I feel like you’re doing the opposite of that by not preaching about what is right and wrong.

Um. So. Moving on.

I LOVE the song Peace. I read in someone’s blog that the song didn’t fit on the record? That person was CLEARLY insane. 

Also, I was on the same page as you are with Hoax the first time I heard it. There’s something about that song that sounded like a mesh of all the other songs. Like a “in conclusion” song to me.

And THE LAKES!!! It’s one of my favorite songs of yours lyrically. It’s about a place where poets went to die and the song itself is so poetic. It’s beautiful, and sad, and dramatic. And romantic. The idea of escaping to a secluded place to have a cry and also isolate and exile yourself because fuck people. It sounds heavenly. I put this song on repeat ALL THE TIME.

Look, I’ve been going through a ROUGH time. And there seems to be no light at the end of this tunnel. But I’m in a better mood because of your music. I’ve always said that “every sound has an emotion attached to it.” I remember listening to Folklore for the first time. I was expecting fun, up-beat peppy pop stuff like from Lover. Or something that hypes me up like on Reputation. And I remember feeling this overwhelming sadness that you really only get from looking back on past mistakes, or missed opportunities, or a certain kind of happiness that isn’t in your life any more. And I remember thinking, “I don’t see myself listening to this album as much as her other ones.” And I was so, so, so wrong about that. Been listening to it almost every day since it’s release. Lately it’s been because I’ve been feeling that type of sadness.

You were right. I think we all need a good cry.

Thank you. AND CONGRATS ON THE NOMINATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Kiri

Dear Taylor,

I am madly in love with your outfit here. It’s got a pirate kind of style to it and I adore it so much! That is all.

Love,

Kiri

It’s been a while since I wrote. I’ve been busy. Full time school and work with the possibility of a boyfriend. Things in my life are chaotic, which I’m sure you can understand. I just wanted to let you know I am ecstatic to hear your rerecordings of your albums. THIS IS WHAT IS KEEPING ME GOING! 

Hope you are doing well. Don’t let the muggles get you down.

Love,

Kiri

I love the fan community on tumblr and I’ve been wanting to be an active part of it for a while now. But I am a wallflower, so I’ve hung back until now it seems. My world and life is changing and...idk. I just did 9 hours of chemistry today and I HATE chemistry and felt so defeated and stupid and dead inside. I pride myself on being a smart person so when I don’t get something it’s so....aggravating. I decided on giving up on feeling joy and happiness today. But I had your song/performance of “Betty” stuck in my head ALL DAY and I’ve been screaming the lyrics “STANDING IN YOUR CARDIGAN! KISSING IN MY CAR AGAIN!!!” to my dog ALL DAY (I think she’s sick of me, too). So I decided to rewatch it on Youtube. And it lifted my spirit a bit...and now I’m an hour into a playlist of your live performances and I’m glad to say I feel so much better now.

I’m writing to you because I need an outlet. And a friend who can listen and wants to. Like I said before, I’m a wallflower. And due to previous life experiences and the coronavirus, I don’t have many people in my life who want to listen to me. And idk...we never personally met but I feel like you care a whole lot about everybody. And I’m so proud of you for it. It’s a hard thing to do and I don’t think you get enough credit for it. (I’m rewatching your AMA performance and I’m getting emotional even though we don’t know each other).

So. Really. I just wanted to say thanks. For your music. And for listening. And putting yourself out there.

Love,

Kiri