BLOODY KISSES

Never did I think I would ever be the type to address drama or gossip in this community, but here we are. I’ve never been one to read or acknowledge blog talk, but it’s been brought to our attention that we’re being spoken about, dragged, and accused of some really serious things. And I understand why people feel confused or upset, because we stayed quiet and never shared our side. So I think it’s time to.

I want to start by saying that when we ran Change, there were no controversies. We weren’t ending up in gossip blogs. We built a genuinely happy, welcoming space where people felt safe and wanted to write. That was always the goal. When we later added someone new to the admin team, things slowly started to shift. And I’m not pretending we hold zero responsibility there. We absolutely do. We should have protected the morals and standards we set. We should have stepped in sooner. We should have done better. I am sincerely sorry for that.

What’s been especially hard to read lately are the accusations that we’re racist, that we isolated members, or that we were anti-Asian and anti-Asian FCs. Those labels are incredibly heavy, and they are not values we have ever held or believed in. But I do understand how certain decisions we made, or allowed to happen, gave people reason to feel that way, and that part is on us.

When Poppy first came into our circle, she seemed lovely. Chatty, personable, fun to write with. Everyone liked her. I genuinely thought she was a good addition. When Change closed and we began building Pretty Things, we were so excited. A site set in LA, new plots, a fresh start,  it felt like something that could really thrive. Around that same time, I went through some personal things that pulled me away, which left Jes juggling far too much while Poppy slowly positioned herself at the center of everything. On the surface, she became everyone’s favorite. Behind the scenes, though, she was constantly complaining about members, stirring negativity, and acting as a sounding board for gossip no one else could see. I didn’t fully understand how bad it had gotten until later.

One of the biggest mistakes we made, and something we take full accountability for, was the decision to ban K-pop faceclaims. It was presented to me as a way to “balance” the influx of FCs, and being out of the loop and not as involved at the time, I naively agreed to post it. I didn’t recognize how targeted and exclusionary that would feel. Intent doesn’t erase impact. It singled people out and hurt members, and I am truly sorry for that. We should never have allowed anything that even remotely suggested exclusion or bias. Ever. We later found out that this wasn’t due to the influx of FCs but her personalised agenda to have K-POP FCs removed, (which we do have evidence for.) 

As time went on, we started seeing more of who she really was. The behavior escalated into cruelty, body shaming, talking badly about people she called friends, and saying deeply disturbing things about others. It became toxic in ways we didn’t know how to navigate fast enough, and by the time we fully grasped it, damage had already been done. That failure to step in sooner is on us.

This isn’t about hate or trying to weaponise a story against someone. It’s about accountability and transparency. Staying silent protects harmful behavior, and we don’t want to be complicit in that. At the same time, we also don’t want misinformation spreading that paints us as people who are racist or intentionally isolating members, because that simply isn’t who we are or what we stand for.

For clarification, we are firmly against racism, xenophobia, anti-Asian sentiment, ICE, Zionism, homophobia, transphobia, and any form of discrimination. Our goal has always been to create a space where people feel safe, included, and supported. When we fail to live up to that, even unintentionally, we own it and we apologise. If anyone felt isolated, unwelcome, or hurt during Pretty Things because of decisions we made or didn’t challenge, I am genuinely sorry. You deserved better from us.