I'm still alive somehow

So I was eating dinner once in public. Alone. No big deal. Scrolling through tumblr and eating. Then my eyes wander a bit, but then lock onto this old white man outside, standing awkwardly.

I think nothing of it. I look back at my phone. Then out of the corner of my eye I see him turn slightly. I look up again. He averts his eyes, trying to make it appear like he’s standing there.

then I start getting extremely scared. “What if I’m not passing enough?” Or “what if he wants to hurt me. I try not to pay attention to it..but he’s just staring at me through the window. Watching me eat my dinner, waiting for me to leave.

As I get up, he walks away. I think he’s gone, so I go out. MOTHERFUCKER DIDN’T GO ANYWHERE. He stops me like “excuse me, excuse me sir.” And I look him dead in the eye.

then he rambles on about how Jesus can save me and all that, and I’m just looking at him weird because he was WATCHING ME EAT DINNER. He shoves a flyer into my hand and he’s like “you DO want to be saved, right?”

then I start reading the flyer. It’s about christianity and I think to myself “is this a fucking Jehovah’s Witness”

I said nothing because my dad always taught me that arguing with a Jehovah’s Witness is like talking to a brick wall.

then he walks away, and waves, onto go hand out flyers to other people. I wait for him to turn the corner…and I tear it up and throw it in the garbage.

This fuck uses ChatGPT and I reference an actual muscle diagram. It took me longer, but at least it’s not misinformation about how the bladder and kidneys are located in the area of the Achilles tendon. (Which is 1. Not true, and 2. Unrelated to the project)