It's hard to explain to normal people, humans, what the urge to really bite someone is like. Some people get it. Most don't. It's like a desire to exploit a vulnerability, some bare stretch of neck or shoulder... maybe their thigh? Someone who is so comfortable around you that they would let their soft and bite-able parts stay exposed. It's an event when it happens, and that event craves celebration, that soft length of neck wants to be bitten; why else would it be exposed like that.
These are not regular occurrences, of course. You don't just see someone's relax body from across the room and think, 'I need to go over there right now and put my teeth on their shoulder.' You have to already be close. That exposed shoulder has to be exposed for you.
Lucky for me that Gray was relaxed around everyone and that the loveseat in the living room was the only comfortable place to sit in the entire damn apartment. So of course I was already next to him and of course he was tired at the end of the day and his body was practically limp. So it only made sense that I wanted to stretch my jaws wide and wrap them around his throat. Not to hurt him, of course. Just... in the way that a dog does when they're playing. No force beyond what it take to feel the pinch of it. That's all. Just an innocent little bite.
"You're drooling," Gray said quietly, not moving an inch.
It caught me off guard. I didn't even think he was looking at me. And when I brushed the back of my hand against my snout I could feel the danging saliva. "Oh, shit..."
"It's fine. I've noticed you do that when you stay like this for long periods of time. It's like you're relaxed. No proper girly facade."
My mind begins a horrible tug of war on whether to bite him now or punch him as hard as I can. The part that wants to bite him presents a surprisingly good argument in that I could scare him a lot more with a bite if I did it right.
"You like it when I'm not girly?" I snarl, my lip rising and revealing my teeth. I don't mind the inescapable trappings of drool and dog breath in his face as I draw closer.
My weight shifting on the loveseat makes the ancient furniture creak. I can see him freeze in his slumped posture as I loom over him. That instant switch from casual conversation to fear. That unspoken question of wait, what is she doing? on his face sends a thrill down my spine to the tip of my tail.
"You like it when I act like a slavering mindless beast that drools over her prey?"
I know he can feel my breath on him as my snout creeps closer to his exposed throat. It's actually kind of a miracle he felt comfortable in this position at all, his neck looks like it's actually kind of contorted.
"H-hold on..." he whispers.
His voice just makes me smile as I put my teeth gently on his throat.
"Hmm," I hum as I pinch down on his neck just slightly. Just tight enough to make him feel like I could twitch and pierce the skin there. If he twitched he'd be left with a nasty red mark from the skin scraping against my fangs.
Something crawling up my skin makes my fur stand on end. My heart starts beating faster. It's confusing. Why the fuck am I reacting like this? Do I want to actually... why the fuck would I want to actually bite him? Why the hell am I even doing this much? The human embarrassment over the animal instinct washed over me in a horrible moment. It took a moment to un-tense my jaw and pull back.
But I pulled back... all the way. Back to my side of the love seat, deep into that corner, out of wolf form and back into normal tiny human Sasha. It sucked that now he could see how red my face was. But also. This was better that letting any other weird instincts take hold any easier.
"Do..." I he muttered, still not moving an inch. though now I could see how uncomfortable he was. "Do you want to talk about that?"
"No." I grumble.
"Is this a full moon thing?"
The question makes me twitch into a slouching posture. I let my hair slowly cascade over my face to hide the horrible truth in my expression. I'd totally forgotten tonight was a full moon.
"You looked... like you needed to be bitten."
He finally moved out of his relaxed posture. But, honestly, this new way he was sitting made me more uncomfortable. Back straight, hands balled up and pressed on his knees, looking straight ahead. It was awful.
"Forget about it. This was dumb. I just wanted to scare you a little."
"Consider me thoroughly scared." He muttered something else after that, but I couldn't make out what he said. Going back into human form was a dumb idea, I could have heard that otherwise. He might not have said it then, though.
"Don't freak out. I was in complete control. I know how much force it takes to break skin. So there wasn't really a chance I could have... you know."
He turned his head to me. I could see it through the messy curtain of my hair. He took a slow breath and I could see his hand lift up and hesitate about where he wanted to put it. Thankfully he settled for rubbing the back of his neck. And then, after feeling the dampness there wiping his whole neck down with his hand.
His next words were preceded by the kind of sigh someone does before saying something too truthful to be said out loud. He said, "you know, you being here has made me think about that. Not that I think you would... just... it's technically a possibility now."
"Yeah," I mumbled back. Everyone thinks about it, even if they don't say it out loud.
"What would that even be like? Or would it be the same, just with... you know... fur.
I could feel my heart racing again. I hated this conversation. It was supposed to be a dumb teasing moment, I put my teeth on his neck and he gets scared and then I laugh at him. Why aren't I laughing, then? Why is this so sincere all of the sudden? It's like he's about to bear his soul to me and I just want to jump through a window.
The loveseat suddenly felt like a rollercoaster car that I was strapped into and stuck for the remainder of the ride. But I needed to eject. I needed to bail. Anything. I needed anything.
"I dunno," I breathe. "you might make a pretty girl. Unless you wanted to find a guy to bite you, I mean."
I put on my best impish grin before flipping my hair back and making eye contact. I hope he doesn't see through it. But I can never tell with him. But the fake smile rapidly become genuine as I watch his face go from serious to shocked to confused to baffled.
"Wait, what?" he sputters.
"Oh, I figured you knew that part since you said you 'did your research' before hiring me. A wolf form is passed on through bite, and that includes gender. And since the wolf form's a lot stronger than the human form it just sort of overrides it."
"Hold on, hold... wait... wuh—"
"But the more I look at you the more I could see it. You'd make a cute girl, maybe a little lanky, but you could pass for a volleyball type sporty girl."
I can't help but smirk as he whips his phone out and starts mashing at the screen furiously as he types up the obvious question.
"You don't believe me?" I say, obviously feigning displeasure. "I'm a first hand source. You should have seen me before I turned into a girl, I was a handsome guy—"
"You're pulling my chain," Gray finally said, interrupting me. "You weren't a guy, I know that much."
"No duh, genius," I scoff back. "I was always this pretty. I can't believe you actually thought I was serious."
Conversation avoided successfully. The two wolves in my head were already doing a celebratory dance.
"You're magic, you can't just say things like that. How am I supposed to know if they're true or not?"
"I'd say look it up, but werewolves aren't exactly doing AMAs on Reddit. And before you say it I do know about that one guy, but he was a faker."
Gray shifted in place again, relaxing but not quite as much as before. No more vulnerable skin flagrantly on display. Good, he learned a lesson. But that didn't exactly explain my disappointment that he wasn't going back to being openly relaxed again.
"Alright," he sighed. "We're good, by the way. I won't hold the biting thing against you. Just... if you have to do it again, let me know so I don't panic and get bitten for real."
To my horror, my heart skipped a beat. Rather than let my vulnerable blushing face sit out in the open, I opted for fur and fangs and claws and a snout. Three quarters transformation, the most comfortable way to be. I had height on him again, but I also had that human nervousness gripping at my insides like a vice begging me not to do anything stupid again.
"Sure," I said in my best trying not to care about it voice.
I was very much caring about it. Being transformed helped hide that, lower voice and lack of visible blush were solid benefits to sell that lie. But my tail was a damn dirty traitor. If I wasn't sitting down it'd be wagging like an idiot. But if I stayed sitting there was a chance that conversation from before would pick back up. I'd have to distract him somehow so he didn't notice the very obvious dumb happy reaction going on.
"If you want me to bite you again, just let me know," I added on, poking a clawed finger at his barely visible neck. "I could see you enjoyed it."
While he was sputtering and distracted by looking down at his lap I took the opportunity to stand and speed walk out of the living room and down the hall to my bedroom. He didn't see shit. Though if he saw me now, standing with my head and hands braced against the bedroom door with my tail wagging frantically as I tried not to laugh to myself like an even bigger idiot, the jig would be up. I didn't know what exactly what the jig was, because that weird feeling under my fur was brand new and my whole... response was uncalled for. There was no way I liked Gray like that. He was my boss... er, roommate... friend? Shit, it was already more complicated wasn't it.
And then another thought started gnawing at the back of my brain. I'd just said the first thing I could think of to get him to look at anything but me. But he'd fallen for it so easily. Had he actually...?
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I flexed my fingers before taking a slow breath. I tried not to look her in the eye, but she was staring at me, daring me to react. Reclined like she was at the kitchen table, front feet of the chair off the ground, I was tempted to hook a foot around the leg and tug it forward. But instead I just breathed, "please don't."
"Please don't what, mister Gray?"
"You know how old I am. My mom named me Gray long before those books came out. She wanted me to grow up to be calm, comforting, and humble," I said, carelessly repeating the words I'd heard most of my childhood.
Sasha quirked an eyebrow up at that, clearly not the response she was looking for. It wasn't a response I was planning on giving either. Who wants to bring up their mom as a defense when they're trying not to get teased? Clearly I hadn't been bullied enough as a kid to learn not to do that. But it seemed luck was in my corner, because Sasha didn't have the cruel glint in the eye of a tween bully eager to jump at fleshly exposed vulnerable flesh they can tear into. She just stared at me.
"She was... uh... she's a pretty firm believer in nominative determinism."
"What?"
"Like, you grow up to be what you're named for. A hunter named Hunter, a butcher named with the last name Carver, a librarian named Booker, that kind of thing."
The change in topic seemed to have caught her interest as she frowned slightly, a clear sign that she'd become more entrenched in thought than normal.
"A taxi driver named Parker?"
"Yeah. That kind of thing."
She scoffed, "That's so dumb."
"Well, my dad's name is Robert and you can guess what he got in trouble for to make her believe in it all."
I watched as she processed that. The way her head hunched down a little and her eyes squinted as she stared into the distance trying to puzzle out what I meant.
"Did he... did he do something to that muppet from Sesame Street?"
"What?!"
"What?"
"He got arrested for theft!"
"Oh. I guess that makes more sense. If he goes by Rob, I mean."
"Of course I meant that? Why was your first thought that my dad cucked Ernie?"
"I don't fucking know. I just kind of forgot theft existed for a moment, I guess?"
I slide my palm down my face and calmed back down. More deep breaths, more relaxing of facial muscles. "I wish I lived in that world in your head."
