rie

Because he’s carried her laundry basket up three flights of stairs without being asked, eaten half her cereal with his hand in the box, fallen asleep facedown on her rug during finals week, and once let himself in at one in the morning because she texted him that she thought there was a weird sound in the hallway and he arrived in grey sweats and slides with his hockey stick in hand, and the kind of serious expression that made her forget to be embarrassed for a full eleven seconds.

So, no. She doesn’t think about the tank top.

She thinks about philosophy notes and the fact that her car’s being held hostage in the hockey house driveway while Logan fixes it, which so far seems to involve standing over the open hood with Tucker, a YouTube video, and the blind male confidence of men who have never met an engine problem they couldn’t make worse. 

She thinks about the rink, because Garrett’s supposed to take her there before his late skate and she’s supposed to sit in the stands with her laptop and pretend she doesn’t secretly like the smell of cold air and rubber mats and hockey boys yelling obscenities at each other.

She’s hunched over her desk in jeans and the white tank, hair clipped messily up off her neck, one bare foot tucked under her thigh, when the door opens behind her with exactly zero hesitation.

“Okay, so Logan says your car’s making this noise,” Garrett says, already halfway inside, “and I told him that’s not a fucking diagnosis because cars make a lot of noises, and then he got offended like I was disrespecting his craft, which is rich because his craft is apparently–”

He stops. He stops like someone’s walked into the room and slapped the sentence directly out of his mouth.

She looks over her shoulder, pen still between her fingers. “What?”

Garrett’s standing just inside her doorway in his Briar hoodie and track pants, duffel bag hanging off one shoulder, curls still damp from a shower or the snow outside or whatever irritatingly athletic thing he was doing before this. His mouth is slightly open. His eyes are very much not on her face. 

They flick down again, fast and guilty and not guilty enough. “Dude,” he says.

Her eyebrows pull together. “What?”

“When the fuck did you get your nipples pierced?”

For a second, the room goes very still around the heater rattling under the window. Then she looks down at herself. And, okay. Fine. The tank top is thinner than she remembers. 

The little metal bars are pressing faintly against the cotton, visible enough now that he’s said it, and her whole body does this annoying internal jump, not embarrassment, because Garrett has seen her in bikinis and sick and wearing a face mask that made her look like a swamp creature. 

But it’s something. A hot little awareness under her skin, as if the room has suddenly learned a new angle. She turns back around too quickly and scoffs, because dignity is mostly just committing to a tone before your pulse can betray you. “Months ago.”

Garrett nods once. Slowly. Like he’s received devastating news from a doctor with poor bedside manner. “Months ago.”

“Yes?”

“So for months you’ve just…” He looks at the ceiling, then the wall, then her face, where he very clearly intends to remain through force of character alone. “Right. Right. Cool.”

She narrows her eyes. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“That wasn’t nothing.”

“What?” he says, and the innocence would be more convincing if his ears weren’t faintly pink. Garrett Graham, Briar hockey captain, man who has smiled his way out of consequences that would have ended lesser men, is standing in her dorm room looking like his entire operating system has crashed over a white tank top.. “I’m just processing information.”

“You’re being weird.”

He presses his lips together and shakes his head. “I am being so normal right now.”

“You walked in here, stared at my chest, and short-circuited.”

His gaze drops for half a second again, involuntary and hopeless, before snapping back up. “Because you weaponised casual nudity.”

“I’m wearing a shirt.”

“That’s a suggestion of a shirt.”

She barks a laugh before she can stop herself, sharp and disbelieving.

He points at her like that proves something. “See? You know.”

“I know you’re an idiot.”

“I know a lot of things,” he says, still looking pained. “Unfortunately, I now know one more.”

There’s no reason for that to make heat crawl up the back of her neck, except that Garrett has shifted against the door without seeming to realise it, shoulders broad enough to make the frame look underprepared, one hand gripping the strap of his duffel. 

He’s trying very hard to turn this into a bit. She can see the effort in the slant of his mouth, in the way his eyes keep dragging back to hers like he’s hauling them up with a rope.

She stands from the chair, mostly because sitting there suddenly feels weirdly vulnerable and also because she genuinely does need to change before they leave. “I’m not going like this. Relax.”

He exhales through his mouth, cheeks puffing slightly. “Thank God.”

Her eyes narrow again. “Excuse me?”

“Nothing.”

She crosses her arms across her chest, which does nothing for his cause. “No, go on. Thank God why?”

He lifts both hands, palms out, the duffel sliding down his arm. “Because I wasn’t in the mood to fight someone tonight.”

She stares at him. He stares back, dead serious for about two seconds before his grin starts sneaking in around the edges, all stupid golden-boy charm and teeth and the unbearable confidence of a man who knows exactly how often he gets away with saying things like that.

“Oh my God,” she says flatly. “You are so annoying.”

“I’m protective.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Those overlap.”

“They don’t.”

“With me they do.”

She rolls her eyes so hard it almost hurts and walks past him toward her bedroom, close enough that her shoulder brushes his arm. It’s nothing. It’s normal. They’re always touching in ways that don’t count, or didn’t count, maybe, before Garrett noticed her piercings and temporarily lost access to the English language. 

But now the brush of him feels too present, the warmth of his hoodie against her bare upper arm registering with an irritating amount of detail. She pulls a jersey over the tank first because it’s closest, the fabric falling big over her hips and smelling faintly like laundry detergent and that cold rink smell Garrett always carries around like a second cologne. Then she grabs a jacket from the chair, shoves her arms through it, and gives herself exactly half a second in the mirror to look normal.

She looks normal. Mostly. Her face is a little too warm, but Garrett doesn’t get to know that.

When she comes back out, he’s leaning against the wall near her door, scrolling on his phone with an expression of intense concentration that’s almost definitely fake. He looks up when she enters.

And then just looks. His eyes move over the jersey, the jacket, her face, the way she’s tucked her hair back from her cheek with the annoyed efficiency of someone pretending she’s not just changed clothes with a man in the next room thinking about her nipples. His mouth does something small and private before he catches it.

“What?” she says.

He shakes his head once. “Nothing.”

“You keep saying nothing in a way that feels suspicious.”

“That’s because you’re paranoid.”

“That’s because you’re being weird.”

He pushes off the wall and opens the door for her. “I’m never weird.”

“You’re being weird right now.”

“I’m being gentlemanly.”

“You let yourself into my dorm.”

“Gentlemanly after the felony.”

She snorts and walks past him into the hall. His hand lands at the small of her back as she goes. Warm through the jacket. Familiar enough that she shouldn’t notice it. She does anyway.

Garrett closes the door behind them and, as they head down the hall, slings his arm around her shoulders like he’s done a thousand times before. Heavy and easy and a little too smug. 

She groans immediately, mostly for self-preservation. “You’re very touchy tonight.”

He hums, pleased with himself in a way she can feel through his ribs against her side. “Mhm.”

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“Wasn’t trying to be.”

She tips her head back enough to glare at him. He’s already looking down at her, grin lazy now, but his eyes are still doing that thing. Brighter, sharper, like something ordinary has been tilted a few degrees and he’s pretending he hasn’t noticed the whole room slide.

“You’re unbearable,” she says.

“I’m driving you to the rink out of the goodness of my heart.”

“Because Logan broke my car worse.”

“Allegedly.”

She shoots him a look. “Garrett.”

“Fine. Probably.”

She huffs, but she lets herself lean into him by half an inch because the hallway is cold and because his arm is warm and because, irritatingly, he smells good. He squeezes her shoulder once, casual enough to be deniable, except his thumb brushes the side of her neck afterward, small and absent and not absent at all.

They make it to the stairwell before he says, “So. Months, huh?”

She stops on the top step and slowly turns her head. He’s staring straight ahead now, mouth twitching.

She points at him. “Do not.”

“I’m not doing anything!”

“You’re thinking loudly.”

“I’ve suffered a shock.”

“You saw the outline of jewellery through a shirt.”

“Exactly. I’m suffering here.”

“You’re such a loser.”

“Maybe,” he says, then glances down at her, all grin and trouble and something warmer under it that makes her stomach dip in a way she fully intends to ignore until death. “But I’m your ride, so be nice to me.”

She starts down the stairs before he can see her smile. “I liked you better when you couldn’t speak.”

“Yeah,” Garrett says behind her, voice rough with laughter. “Me too, actually.”

❄︎ ❄︎ ❄︎

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it was meant to be a short trip. he was told that it would only take three days at most. his father had ordered for him and a few other warriors to go meet with ta'unui olo’eyktan to talk over the reinforcements of their reef borders. for many years, they had been allies who helped each other in times of need and ao’nung knew that if he were to take over his father as olo’eyktan of the metkayina, he should be able to handle a few talks about border control.

unfortunately for him, their discussions lasted longer than anticipated. though ao’nung was glad to be surrounded by sand and water rather than the humidity of the forest, he still did not feel at home.

ao’nung felt that there was something missing, and deep down in his heart knew it was just you that he missed.

it had gotten to the point that everything he saw reminded him of you, and ao’nung was beginning to think he was losing his mind. the only consolation he found in his time away was an imperfectly shaped light blue pearl.

during his third morning away from you, ao’nung swam long enough that it would have been impossible to miss it. the way that the midday sun shone through the water, almost making a spotlight, was the only sign he needed from the great mother to take it with him. the pearl was something so simple and yet so reflective of you, that he knew it was something that you would love. the shape was unique and elegant, just like how he saw you.

ao’nung spent the rest of that afternoon with the artisans of the ta’unui elders. they taught him how to create a pendant out of the pearl, and helped him fashion a necklace to bring home to you. they teased him for being clueless and clumsy with his hands, yet they commended ao’nung for being a thoughtful suitor. ao’nung told them stories about you two growing up together, but he did not share that you were already arranged to be mated. when he finished, ao’nung was touched by the older women who prayed to the great mother to bless your courtship.

honestly, ao’nung had no idea if you would see the necklace as a courting gift or if you would even bother to wear it at all. the only thing he knew was that he wanted to impress you, and he was willing to accept any reaction you would give him.

ao’nung kept the pearl necklace close to him over the next few days. he used it as an anchor to get him through the meetings and endless discussions, and ao’nung found comfort in knowing you would be the one holding it soon.

hours after eclipse, their party arrived late and exhausted on the shores of awa’atlu with nobody to greet them. though he wanted nothing more than to just leave them and go home, he knew he had to say a few words as their leader. so, ao’nung told everyone that they did well, and that they deserved a good night’s sleep after their week of hard work before dismissing them.

in silence, he hastily made his way to his marui on the outskirts of the village. ao’nung wanted the comfort of his own space, and he did not care about the hunger in his stomach enough to look for something to eat as he walked through the entryway.

much to ao’nung’s surprise, there was a basket of fresh fruit sitting on the table. he curiously peeked under the covers of the plate beside it, and found that they contained his favourite dish.

that night, ao’nung went to sleep with a belly full of food, and dreams of you wearing a blue pearl necklace.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

“you came home late last night.”

“mama!” you shrieked in fright, and turned to look at the woman with your hand clutching your chest.

“and have you seen my fruit basket, ma 'itetsyìp?”

“you scared me!”

“you’re too jumpy for a woman covered in all those tattoos,” she tutted, and you heard you father laugh from outside.

“i am jumpy,” you crouched down to pick up the comb that you dropped. “because my mother has made it a habit to creep up on me.”

“ma 'itetsyìp, i was simply asking if you have seen my basket,” she chuckled. “i planned to bring fruit to the tsahìk, but i cannot seem to remember where i’ve placed it.”

you continued combing your hair and replied with as much nonchalance as you could muster, “i have not seen it, but i’m sure it will turn up somewhere, mama.”

your mother met your eyes in the mirror with a hint of suspicion in her gaze. she did not for one second believe that you did not know where the basket was, but she was more curious than angry about why you were lying. she racked her mind for what you could have possibly done with her dear basket, but your mother figured you would give it back soon enough. hopefully, it would come with an explanation for the unusual secrecy.

“hm, i suppose i do have plenty of other baskets to choose from,” she pondered. “but what of you coming home late?”

your father peeked his head from outside your window.

“i’m heading to meet with the olo’eyktan,” he announced. “ao’nung’s party came back last night.”

“that is great news!” your mother watched you as she spoke to her mate. “i hope that he had a successful trip.”

“me too, ma muntxate,” your father replied to her sweetly. “i’ll let you know later. see you both tonight!”

“see you later, papa,” you smiled at him briefly, before you addressed your mother. “and to answer your question, i came home late because i forgot something at the teacher’s hut.”

“did you go to meet ao’nung?”

“are you going to ignore what i literally just said?”

“i just find it funny that your father said ao’nung returned last night, and you also came home late last night,” your mother was adamant to get something out of you before you left.

“that is called a coincidence, mama.”

unfortunately for her, you did not want to give her the satisfaction hearing what she wanted to hear. the woman still has not learned the art of subtlety, but you were innocent of her accusations. you could tell she expected more by the way her brows furrowed together. perhaps she would be happy to even just hear you say ao’nung’s name, but you did not.

instead, you busied yourself by gathering the things you needed for your morning lessons with the children of the clan. you had a hectic day ahead of you because after the children, you were going to have lessons with some of the older kids. though the idea of being surrounded by hormonal and moody teenagers was daunting, one of the elders asked you last night if you could take over for today. since he said that he had to take care of his sick grandson, there was no way that you were going to say ‘no’ to him. this only meant that you knew that there was a good chance that you would be busy until dinner.

“it would be a shame if ao’nung had to leave again soon.”

you shook your head to stop yourself from laughing.

“mama, i am going to be late,” you sidestepped her. giving her a kiss on the cheek before you head out the door, you added, “but i will see you later. please tell ronal tsahìk that i said hello.”

as your day started with chattering children who were full of energy, ao’nung was on the other side of the village.

he was one of the first few people to arrive to the chief’s hut, walking in only minutes after your father did.

“ma ao’nung! it is good to see you!” your father patted him on the shoulder. “how was your trip home?”

“kaltxì, ma leyokoaktan,” ao’nung grinned at him. “i nearly fell asleep on my skimwing, and we got home later than expected because of some rough weather yesterday morning.”

he received a guffaw in return.

your father was a kind man, despite what the sharp angles and hard corners of his face might say to those who did not know him. he was the best hunter out of the whole clan, and he was close friends with ao’nung’s own father. the two of them carried out their iknimaya together as boys, and have been through battles side by side over the years. he was a strong man and made sure that you would be strong too, hence why you were so talented with a spear and crossbow.

despite your skills and being decorated with many tattoos similar to the other warriors, you rarely attended these meetings. ao’nung knew that you chose to stick to teaching the children and took on other roles in the clan because you believed that there has been too much violence in the reef already. you wanted a better future for the metkayina, a peaceful future, and ao’nung supposed that it made sense why the elders arranged for your mating.

the clan needed a leader with ao’nung’s warrior spirit, but it also needed a compassionate and kind leader like you.

“did you manage to eat when you arrived?” your father asked with concern.

“i did. there was food left in my marui,” ao’nung replied. “but i am unsure who left it there. i assumed that it was my mother.”

“she must have known you would be starving!”

your father rather liked ao’nung. he thought that ao’nung was strong, clever, and accomplished. he knew tonowari and ronal well from their many years of friendship, and trusted them like his own blood. just the fact that they raised ao’nung told your father all he needed to know about the young man. when the elders convened to pair you together, your father could have cried with joy.

as the conversation flowed between them, and more people entered the hut, your father made an observation with a laugh.

“you’re beginning to look more like your father each day, boy!”

“are you sure about that, ma leyokoaktan?” ao’nung acted offended. to tease his own father, he added, “i think i get my good looks from my mother.”

the joke was a hit among the other warriors who laughed, and the olo’eyktan jokingly glared at his son.

“when everyone is finished making fun of their chief,” tonowari said sarcastically. “then i would like ao’nung to share what he achieved in terms of our border agreements with the ta’unui.”

at the stern mention of his name, ao’nung stood tall in front of the strongest warriors of the metkayina. instantly, he stepped into the role of their next olo’eyktan, his expression turning serious. looking at the expectant faces of the hardened soldiers of his clan, ao’nung knew that this would be a very long day.

by the time all of your lessons ended, you were hungry and you just wanted to sleep.

it was a good day for you. the children were as excited to learn more about the reef as they always were, and you had prepared fun activities to keep them busy. later on in the day, you were happy that the teenagers were less moody than you expected.

the only minor setback you had today was due to one of the boys named kotxa.

everything was going great, in your humble opinion, and it was all going to plan. the group of seventeen year olds had already bonded with their ilus and were skilled swimmers, so you had less to worry about. your lesson was focused on hunting. all of them were excited and followed your instructions closely that you thought you would be returning to the shore at sunset without any trouble.

you were proved wrong because kotxa decided to annoy lei’ara.

when you got back to the beach, everyone was congratulating lei’ara for her catch of the day. it was a heavier glider fin compared to the others, and you believed that the girl deserved all of the praise she received. however, kotxa came out of the water with an even bigger glider fin loosely held in hand.

you easily found out that the two of them have been competing for top rank in their age group when lei’ara lunged at kotxa. you watched at the two rolled around on the sand, not knowing if you wanted to laugh or intervene. the boy did not even look phased as she pinned him down and hissed that he was trying to outdo her. kotxa’s only reply was “it’s just a fish, ma yawntutsyìp.”

“lei’ara, enough,” you finally stepped in before any blood was spilled by her hands. “you have both proven your points.”

with one more hiss at him, lei’ara let her friends drag her off of kotxa. the boy stood up with a smug expression before you addressed them all as a group.

“you all did well today regardless of what you caught or did not catch. be proud of your efforts, and do better tomorrow. now, go home and prepare yourselves for dinner.”

they all thanked you for your lesson, and bid you farewell.

the only one that stayed behind was kotxa. he offered to help you carry the nets and spears back to the hunter’s shed, which you gladly accepted. the walk was quiet which you were grateful for, and the boy only spoke just as he was about to leave.

“i wanted to tell you that i was going to give the glider fin to lei’ara,” kotxa looked more nervous and unsure than he did on the beach. “before she attacked me, i mean. it might look like i was trying to outshine her, but i wasn’t.”

it was enough to remind you that men truly were stupid at every stage of their lives. you chuckled knowingly at his confession and the doubt on his face before giving him a few words of encouragement.

“you know, kotxa, if you wanted to court lei’ara then you should use your words, aside from your actions. you cannot expect the girl to understand your feelings unless you voice them.”

in return, kotxa beamed at you, and bowed in thanks. he walked away with more self-assurance in his stride, but you frowned at his back. you did not like that the boy reminded you of ao’nung.

you spent the whole week trying to not think of the man, keeping yourself occupied with lessons and other duties. yet, it was only now that you allowed your thoughts to drift back to him being physically back on the island. ao’nung was somebody who was consistently around you throughout your whole life, and you figured that this was the only reason why you noticed his absence more than usual during the week. that was all.

you told yourself that it only felt strange because there was nobody hovering or annoying you.

after organising the hunter’s shed for tomorrow’s morning hunt, you decided that you deserved to skip dinner after the day you had. as you walked, you let your thoughts flow freely like the water you loved. you always liked being alone and enjoyed the peace that came without having other people around. you heard the clan’s lovely music and the sound of merriment fade into the distance as you walked aimlessly.

blinking yourself back to reality, you realised that you were only a short distance away from a familiar hut. you were standing close enough that you were able to see that there was a fire lit inside, but you did not hear any voices. you do not understand how you ended up here, but you should have turned around as soon as you recognised where you were.

your feet took you to ao’nung’s marui.

somehow, over the course of the past few weeks, ao’nung became someone you found yourself gravitating towards. that idea alone was scary because you never sought him out before. though the two of you had known each other your whole lives, due to your families, you were never truly friends. more often than not, ao’nung was just there no matter where you were.

you should have turned around and went home, but you did not.

you recalled the different incidents that happened recently in your lives as you strolled. a few weeks ago, you pranked ao’nung in front of his friends and the same evening, you fell asleep in his arms as you both stayed in the water. when you woke up, you apologised for your impoliteness, and blamed it on how exhausted you were and how soothing the water was. all ao’nung said was that he did not mind holding you, and the two of you returned to the shore.

a few days before ao’nung left to meet the ta’unui clan, you braided his hair with the same seashells as your own, and ao’nung showed it off to his friends at dinner. after the meal, you nearly pounced on an omatikayan woman named zamrey. she was a friend of the sully family, joining them to visit awa’atlu. she made advances towards ao’nung, whom everyone knew was promised to you, but you did not say a word. zamrey was constantly disrespectful and insulted you by calling you a bitch, which is where you drew the line. before you managed to land a punch, ao’nung took you away from the dinner crowd, and you allowed him to distract you. you spent the evening talking about anything and everything you could think of until you both fell asleep.

the thought of the woman reminded you of your most recent altercation.

yesterday, after your morning classes, tsireya invited you to join their group to come swimming with them with the tulkun. as always, you were hesitant about it but the younger girl was too difficult to say deny. tsireya’s bright eyes only held warmth and affection that you only nodded in response. you figured that it had been a while since you had time to swim with your spirit sister, and it would be a nice to spend time with them under the afternoon sun.

tsireya was smart enough to warn you that zamrey would be there as well, but you did not mind as long as the girl kept to herself. you were not joining them for her, you were joining because it was nice to be wanted. you liked seeing everyone’s face light up when they saw you, and you realised that becoming their friend was easier than you thought. it was always a regret of yours to have dismissed the sully children when they first arrived to your island, but they were always good-natured despite your hostility. you supposed that part of your resentment had to do with how ao’nung became friends with them so easily despite all their problems at the start.

your spirit sister, yiren, was overjoyed to see you. she asked about your family, about the children you taught, and you returned her questions with your own. it was even a surprise that she asked about ao’nung. you had vented to her before about your dissent towards your mating arrangement with him, but yiren seemed to be curious about the man after not seeing you for so long.

as you sat on her fin, a short distance from where the others spoke with their own spirit brothers and sisters, yiren continued to mention ao’nung.

“you are with his friends, yet he is not here.”

“he is away with the ta’unui clan, and tsireya invited me,” you explained aloud while signing. “why? did you not miss me?”

“of course i have missed you, sister,” yiren let out a sound that sounded like a laugh. “but i see you are different now.”

“different?”

“there is love in your eyes when you speak of ao’nung.”

you gasped and splashed yiren at her appalling words. the tulkun made another laughing sound at your reaction, before everyone beckoned you both over to go to the nearest shore to rest. the afternoon was spent in good company, and you had hopes that you would be invited to more of these days out.

it would have even been a perfect day for you if zamrey learned to keep her mouth shut in your presence.

it started after your volley game. due to the uneven number of players, you offered to play on the boys’ team which they welcomed wholeheartedly. your team won, and the boys were all singing your praises to tease the other girls. rotxo, in his excitement, hugged you by the waist and swung you around for leading the team to victory.

it was all fun and banter until zamrey walked over and spoke to you with a patronising voice that cut through the whole group’s laughter.

“be careful, kiri. i guess she’s a snake too.”

you simply raised your brows at her and ignored the insult, trying to salvage the remaining piece of your patience. it was a difficult feat, but you tried your best since you would have hated to ruin the day.

unfortunately, zamrey had the survival instincts of a leaf.

“you’ve been flirting with nungy’s friends all day. i wouldn’t be surprised if you did more than that behind his back,” she scoffed and rolled her eyes. “you don’t deserve him.”

“that’s okay. you can have him if you want, zamrey,” you laughed at her empty words. “only i don’t know if he’ll want you.”

the fight was not pretty in the slightest.

zamrey slapped you first, probably thinking you would be caught off guard. yet, unlike the other night around the fire, nobody was able to stop you from finally putting her in her place. there were gasps of surprise, and you felt a hand landing on your shoulder as if to stop you, but zamrey was standing near enough that she had no way to avoid your attack.

you bared your teeth at her before grabbing a fistful of her hair. zamrey immediately lost her footing and tumbled in the sand, screaming in pain. you overheard from kiri that she was a fine singer in their clan, but it was clear that zamrey underestimated your strength. to add on, the girl did not know was that you have been trained to be a warrior of the metkayina before you chose to be a teacher instead. zamrey tried to pry your fingers off her in panic, but your grip on her hair never loosened as you dragged her by the hair on the sand.

“let me go, you bitch!”

you managed to straddle her torso and yanked her hair some more, getting close to her face. she stopped moving, but still clung onto your wrist that held her in place. you stared into her eyes that showed you only fear, but you were not satisfied yet.

you managed to strike her face once before hissing.

“stay down.”

in hindsight, it was barely even a fight and it did not last long at all. you let go of zamrey with another shove into the sand before releasing her hair. once you were apart, you walked away without a scratch, but you had a feeling that you left her with a few bald patches that day. it was never your intention, but it was a relief to know that zamrey would leave you alone after seeing what you were capable of. you ended up excusing yourself from everyone, who looked to be in proud and in awe. instead, you spent the rest of the day swimming around with yiren.

shaking your head at the memory, you approached ao’nung’s home.

there was a buzz that settled under your skin, and it was hard to admit that a small part of you was excited to see him. the bigger part of you tried to ignore it. when you opened the flap of his marui to announce your arrival, the buzz vanished into thin air.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

the sight of his lips on her’s paralysed you, and your breath caught in your throat. clumsily, you let go of the flap and took a staggered step back. you did not want to alert the couple that you saw them, so you moved as quickly as your body allowed.

in your haste, you must have made more noise than you thought, because there was suddenly a rustling sound that came from inside. your legs were not moving fast enough for your liking, and you hated the thought of being caught in this way. so, before anybody could spot you, you jumped into the water below.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

you were grateful that ao’nung chose a hut that was close to the water, and you were far enough from the main village that the area was not as well lit. swimming as fast as you could, you easily made it to a nearby rock, and hid behind it in time to hear ao’nung’s voice call out.

“who’s there?”

the waves crashing around you were loud enough that you knew it would be impossible to hear your laboured breathing from his position. quietly, you rested your forehead on the cool stone, and thanked the great mother for keeping you hidden.

once again, you were alone with your thoughts, only this time it did not bring you peace. instead, it led to your throat tightening and your eyes beginning to burn.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

your vision blurred, and you did not understand why. you tried to swallow the lump in your throat, yet it only hurt you more. you brushed your hair out of your face in an attempt to clear your head. it was hard to tell if ao’nung left already or if he said anything else, but you stayed where you were. there was no reason for you to feel so affected by what you saw.

you had no idea why you were struggling to take deep breaths. each inhale you took was too shallow. you were certain that you were not keeping any air in your lungs at all. your fingers gripped the rock harder, your nails digging into it. you were trying to find something stable enough to ground you and bring you back to your senses.

nothing was working.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

why was nothing working?

shutting your eyes tightly, you began to pray to the great mother. everything was hurting and you were beginning to panic. the tightness in your chest was not easing even as you rubbed a shaking hand over it. the waves around you did not feel soothing as they usually did, and the night’s breeze did not cool your skin like you wished it would.

you were foolish to even think about seeking ao’nung out.

it was reckless of you to let your heart lead you there. the two of you were barely even friends. you were not mated, and your arrangement was only there because of the elders’ persistence. it should not have mattered to you what he did with other women. even if it was a woman who showed you disrespect countless of times since her arrival. you meant it when you told zamrey that she could have him. there was some part of you that assumed ao’nung would never want her, but you were wrong.

you forgot that it was you that he never wanted.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

you recalled all of the lessons that you grew up being taught by the matriarchs of your family. they only ever mentioned and told you about how stupid men could be. now, you wondered why they never told you the second part of their advice. nobody spoke about the ways that women could be stupid too.

you had to find out on your own that women were stupid when it came to love. your grandmother still loved your grandfather despite his shortcomings. your mother still loved your father despite his flaws. love was stupid in itself, and this is what troubled you now. ao’nung did not love you, and the feelings you had for ao’nung could not be love either.

you knew that love was not supposed to feel like this.

all of your prayers to the great mother were answered after some time, and soon enough your breathing returned to normal. with a small peek around the rock, you saw that the light in ao’nung’s marui was gone. relieved, you swam away until you were far from the shore with no specific place in mind.

that night, you tossed and turned with an aching heart, and you were forced to see the image of ao’nung’s lips on zamrey’s every time you closed your eyes.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

ao’nung woke up the next morning with the plan to finally give you the necklace he made. he easily made his way through the village without any interruptions, which he was grateful for. he could feel the pearl bouncing around in the small pouch by his hips as he took confident steps towards your family’s marui.

when ao’nung arrived, your mother was just about to leave.

“good morning, ao’nung,” she did not expect to see him alone.

“good morning, ma leyokoakte,” he greeted her, noticing the surprise on her face. “is something the matter?”

“oh, it is nothing!” your mother’s eyes met his. “i just assumed that my daughter would be with you this morning.”

“why would you think that?” ao’nung asked in confusion.

“she did not come home last night, ao’nung,” she replied, slowly becoming confused too. “and i know that she had slept in your marui before?”

“ma leyokoakte, i came here because i have not seen your daughter since the day i left.”

for as long as ao’nung has known you, there was rarely a time you ever slept anywhere apart from your home. the night your mother was talking about, when you slept in his marui, was spontaneous and unplanned. that was different to now because you were with him and ao’nung knew that you were safe. this time, you clearly did not bother to inform anybody about where you went. your mother’s words made him frown, and caused dread to slowly fill his stomach.

your mother could see where ao’nung’s thoughts were going based on how his face changed.

“i am sure my daughter will show up during the day,” she tried to comfort him. “let us not worry, ao’nung.”

“yes, i will try,” ao’nung sighed in defeat, and your mother patted him on the shoulder as she walked away to the weavers hut.

ao’nung knew the older woman was right, but still, he spent the rest of the day like a lost child.

all of his friends came him and ao’nung thought that you would too. they filled him on different news, and when he asked them, they told him about you. childishly, ao’nung thought it was unfair how everybody saw more of you than he did, and it did not help him feel any better about not seeing you in the morning.

pril told him about how fun your lessons were yesterday, and all the new things she learned about different reef creatures.

tsireya told him that she kept you company during his week away, and that you were kept busy by the elders who asked for help around the clan. she told him about how zamrey picked a fight with you few afternoons ago when the omatikayan girl felt brave. ao’nung was more than happy to hear that you walked away unscathed.

neteyam and lo’ak told him that zamrey kept to herself since the fight, and the girl did not bother you. additionally, kiri shared that zamrey had left awa’atlu at dawn, claiming that she missed the forest.

lastly, rotxo told him that during recent mornings, he heard some of the other hunters teasing do’uram about his feelings for you again.

despite all the stories involving you, ao’nung still had not seen your face for himself. he went to all the places he thought he would find you, like the teachers’ huts or the hunters’ sheds, but you were nowhere to be found.

even during the evening meal, ao’nung attended in hopes of catching a glimpse of you, but he was disappointed to see that you skipped it as well.

he ate quickly and made his way to your family’s marui for the second time with a plate of food, in case you had not eaten. to his dismay, you were not home still. ao’nung was wondering if you even ate at all while he began his walk to his marui. he silently prayed that eywa would show him the way to you, but he knew not to get his hopes up.

just when he was about to accept defeat, ao’nung suddenly heard your laugh in the distance. with hopeful strides that his eyes would finally meet yours after so long, he immediately followed the sound and thanked the great mother for answering so fast.

ao’nung easily found you on the beach, but all of the hope he felt was replaced by a sinking feeling in his chest.

you were laughing in the water, splashing to’arum. he was far enough that he could not hear what you were talking about, but he could see your wide smile and round eyes invested in what your friend was saying. ao’nung thought back to what rotxo told him earlier, and the teasing hunters. did this guy think a single week away would be long enough to get rid of ao’nung?

he hated that the thought of you sleeping in ru’ormo’s marui last night crossed his mind.

suddenly, ao’nung’s feet moved before he realised, and he began marching towards the two of you. both of your ilus popped out of the water, and ao’nung knew he would not reach you in time. you quickly left, another laugh trailing behind you in the sea breeze. it took everything in his body not to jump into the water and swim after you. when it came to you, ao’nung had a feeling that he would be able to do it.

for a moment, he could have sworn he saw your eyes flicker in his direction as you sped away, but ao’nung considered that maybe his eyes were only playing tricks on him out of pity.

the walk home was silent to the point that ao’nung wondered if his ears were blocked because they still had water in them. the image of you laughing before you were submerged in the water kept replaying in ao’nung’s mind, and he wondered how he went a week without you at all.

ao’nung laid in his hammock, and began counting all the stars he could see outside his window. it was something that he often did when he could not find the peace to sleep. the method worked since he was a child, and he thought that it would work for him again.

that night, ao’nung gave up on the stars. instead, his focus drifted to the weight of your pearl necklace feeling heavier in his hand than it did that morning.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

for the next two days, ao’nung thought it was just a coincidence that you became so busy that it was impossible to get even just a few minutes of your time.

he found out from your mother that you took on more lessons with the teenagers of the clan. it surprised him that the lessons involved hunting, a task that you only enjoyed as a pastime. ao’nung tried not to think about it too deeply, but since your midnight escapade with ru’atmo, he hated that there was a small chance that this new project of yours had to do with the hunter.

by the fourth day of your avoidance, your little game of hide and seek was not so little anymore. what began as something amusing turned into a nightmare for anybody who had to spend time around ao’nung.

his father noticed that ao’nung’s mind wandered during their meetings. his mother noticed that ao’nung was not eating as much as usual. tsireya noticed that ao’nung did not speak unless spoken to. pril noticed that ao’nung always had a frown on his face.

to say the least, everybody noticed that ao’nung was moping.

you, however, were oblivious to the fact. having thrown yourself in your duties, you managed to find a way to ignore the slight dull ache that lingered in your heart.

this is not to say that evading ao’nung was easy. the man was as persistent as a moth to a flame. you left your home early and arrived late at night, just to make sure he would not catch you there. during your lessons with the children, you made sure that you left early before some parents came to pick them up. there was a chance that ao’nung would try to use pril as an excuse, so you made sure to keep her at arms length too. it was wrong, but it was necessary. there should be no favourites in the classroom anyways.

what brought you joy during this time were the teenagers.

they were lively, and they were fun to be around. they were fearless, and you knew that the future of the clan would be in safe hands because of them.

funnily enough, you also enjoyed teaching your lessons because kotxa and lei’ara were great entertainment. the boy seemed to have followed your advice because there was a sudden lack of violence from lei’ara. the two of them appeared to have reached some sort of mutual agreement as well, if you were to judge the way the girl no longer pushed him away when he stood too close.

you never had a teenage romance for yourself, but you liked watching theirs bloom in front of your eyes. if you never gave him any advice, kotxa would have been stupid enough to keep annoying poor lei’ara. when they end up mated in the future, you planned to take all the credit.

the sudden shift did not go unnoticed by your family either.

your grandmother wondered why you rose with the sun, and why you returned when the moon was bright. your mother wondered if you were eating enough food, and if you were getting enough sleep. your father wondered why you began hunting more frequently again, and why you were spending more time with tu’amro.

when the sixth day came, ao’nung was unbearable to be near.

despite his moody attitude, his friends forced him to come with them to their favourite cove. they said it would be good for him to be away from the village for a few hours. it took a lot of coaxing, but eventually they all left before noon. when the group finally arrived, ao’nung kept to himself.

after a few hours, ao’nung sat on one of the tree stumps near the edge of the cove just watching the waves crash against the rocks. neteyam decided to finally step in when he watched his best friend throw something in frustration. he walked over slowly, not wanting to startle the other man, and picked up the object from the sand.

“this is a beautiful necklace, brother,” neteyam settled down on the rock beside ao’nung. “why throw it?”

it was a pearl necklace. the light blue colour of it reminded neteyam of the matching seashells you and ao’nung still wore in both of your hair. neteyam did not need to be a genius to know what ao’nung intended to do with it.

“because i don’t want it anymore.”

“why is that?”

ao’nung did not give him answer. truthfully, he did not know what to answer or where to even begin. his inner turmoil was so obvious that neteyam decided that it would make things easier for his friend to open up by hearing a story.

“did i ever tell you that when i first started courting my mate, i thought she did not like me,” he asked, watching the ebb and flow of clear blue waters on the shore.

“weren’t you two best friends before you mated?” ao’nung found himself asking, though he did not even plan on giving neteyam a reply. he knew exactly what his friend was trying to do.

“we are still best friends,” neteyam corrected him with a laugh. “but yes, i fell in love with her when i was just a boy.”

at that, ao’nung looked away from the sea and turned to his friend. he took note of how neteyam’s eyes were glossed over at the mere thought of his mate. she was no stranger to ao’nung, having met her multiple times over the years, and he knew her to be the light of neteyam’s life. outside of his duty and responsibility, neteyam had a mate who accepted him simply as he was. it brought a small smile to ao’nung’s face. his friend did not have an easy life, and he was happy to know that someone took care of him when he neglected himself.

ao’nung’s smile dimmed when he imagined you getting along with neteyam’s mate. you would probably like her.

“we were eighteen when i decided to act on my feelings, but i almost gave up when i thought she did not reciprocate,” neteyam shook his head at his own stupidity as he recalled memory. “remember that feather zamrey gave you?”

“what about it?”

“in our clan, the women give a feather to the suitor that they claim,” neteyam explained, watching ao’nung’s expression. “and my best friend gave one to me on the day i almost gave up.”

ao’nung wondered what would have happened to neteyam if he gave up. would his best friend have fallen in love with someone else by now? then again, ao’nung knew that eywa never made any mistakes. neteyam and his best friend were destined to be together. they would find their way back to each other, and that was beautiful. was your mating arrangement with him the will of eywa too? or did your families meddle too much, and forgot that the great mother had the final say in the end?

in the middle of his pondering, ao’nung realised what neteyam actually revealed.

“bro, you should have told me!” ao’nung exclaimed. “i wouldn’t have accepted it if i knew.”

“well, i thought there was no need. i was not sure if you were claimed by another,” neteyam teased his friend. “until you showed up with blue seashells in your hair.”

his comment shut ao’nung up.

he knew that neteyam was right. ao’nung never courted you, and you never actually chose him. he was handpicked for you by the elders, and you obediently accepted it because you believed it was the right thing to for the clan. the way you were gentle with his hair and let him sleep on your lap was because you were kind. even if ao’nung annoyed you endlessly, you were still kind to him. the seashells were just a fluke. you only did it because zamrey gave him that feather, and you wanted to prove something to her. you never wanted ao’nung since the beginning.

it suddenly dawned on him that he wished you did claim him. ao’nung hoped that since he fell in love with you, you would eventually feel the same for him.

“now tell me, brother, what weighs on your heart?” neteyam wanted more than anything to help his friend. he saw the heartache in ao’nung’s eyes, and how much pain he was in. he did not want to pry, but he knew that ao’nung needed a push in the right direction.

“you wouldn’t be asking me that if you didn’t know.”

“i would not be asking if you just admitted it to yourself.”

“my heart belongs to her,” ao’nung sighed. he could feel his chest constricting as he spoke, “but she does not want it.”

“how are you sure about that if you never said it to her?”

neteyam was looking into the distance when he felt ao’nung finally turned to face him. he met his eyes with a knowing look. it was all ao’nung needed to see before taking the necklace from neteyam’s hand.

“you’re too wise for your own good.”

“and you’re too stupid, brother.”

while ao’nung poured out his heart to neteyam, you were just finished wrapping up your morning lessons.

for the first time in days, you allowed yourself to linger in the teachers’ hut. you knew that ao’nung and his friends went to the cove before noon, and you could breathe freely for the next few hours.

“ma karyu?”

pril could tell that something was wrong.

she might have only been ten years old, but she has known you her whole life. whether it was in the classroom or in her house, you were around. almost every day, your mothers would have breakfast or tea together, and you joined whenever you were free. she did not know much about mates yet other than what she learned from her parents. from eavesdropping on your mothers, when she should not have, pril knew that you and ao’nung were going to be mates too.

she could tell something was wrong, especially when pril realised that you and ao’nung were both sad.

“yes, ma paskalin?” you fretted instinctively. “is everything alright?”

“you don’t smile as much as you used to.”

“i’m smiling at you right now, ma paskalin!” you chuckled. it was easy to forget that pril was no longer a baby who could not form her own thoughts, but you could not deny her words made you nervous. you taught your classes without a hiccup or stumble, thinking the children would not see past your mask.

you thought that you hid your broken heart well.

“that’s only because you have to,” pril shrugged. “ao’nung does not smile like he used to either.”

“maybe your brother is just tired from his duties, ma paskalin,” you soothed, tucking a braid behind her ear. “he is busy becoming our next chief.”

“i heard mama and reya say his heart is broken,” pril said innocently. “but i don’t know how you can break a heart if it’s inside of your body.”

you felt guilty hearing her words, knowing that you had a part to play in his misery just as he did in yours, but you refused to let it show on your face.

“i have to go, mama will be looking for me,” she spoke before you could reply. “i’ll see you tomorrow, ma karyu!”

pril’s words stuck with you for the rest of the day.

during your hunt with the teenagers, her voice echoed in your mind, and you hated it. in fact, you kept all of your conversations over the past week lighthearted and only stuck to surface level topics to prevent this from happening. there was too much on your heart and mind that you had not spoken to anyone outside of your family or students, but yiren and pril got to you. their words made the dull ache in your chest feel heavier than it did the past few days, almost like it was begging to be heard.

you should not have gotten comfortable.

you also should not have assumed that kotxa and lei’ara’s truce would last longer than a few days.

to be fair, the boy had every right to be angry. kotxa spent the whole class watching lei’ara help ayvon, one of the other boys in the group. you found it strange, seeing as ayvon showed himself to be well capable in all your lessons, but you did not say anything. kotxa kept to himself during the hunt, seemingly unaffected, but you should have known better. he eventually snapped when ayvon blocked his shot, and took the hammerbrow that kotxa was hunting.

by the time the group returned to the beach, it was a full blown fistfight. kotxa threw the first and second punch, then ayvon threw the third.

“you’re a fucking asshole, man,” ayvon wiped blood from his lip.

“takes one to know one,” kotxa taunted the other boy.

some of the boys’ friends tried to pull them apart, but they were much stronger and too angry at each other to care.

“kotxa! ayvon!” you were shouting as you broke through the crowd gathered around them. “that is enough!”

lei’ara was the only one that heard you.

“ma karyu, just let them just kill each other,” she said, rolling her eyes at the scene. “at least then we’ll have two less stupid boys in the world.”

“lei’ara, i cannot just stand here and allow this,” you tried to keep a serious tone despite finding her comment amusing. “how did this happen?”

“kotxa yelled something about ayvon breaking bro code,” the girl snorted. “and now, they’re there.” she gestured half heartedly to the boys rolling around with each other.

shaking your head in disbelief, you took a step forward to finally intervene, but an arm blocked you from going further.

your gaze wandered up the arm of familiar tattoos, and landed on ao’nung who looked every bit the chief he was raised to be. you nearly kicked yourself for letting his mere presence stun you, but it had been more than two weeks since you saw him so close.

he looked as sad as pril said.

you did not know that ao’nung saw you even when he was still in the water. if he was being honest, ao’nung had no idea what to expect when he left his friends at the cove. he only had thoughts of getting to you on his mind. neteyam’s advice made ao’nung realise that he would never know your true feelings for him as long as you never knew his.

when he came closer to the beach, ao’nung saw you surrounded by a group of rowdy teenagers. upon closer inspection, you were actually shouting at two of them who were punching each other on the sand.

eywa, what the fuck were you teaching in these classes?

once he made it close enough, he instantly saw how you were about to put yourself in between the boys’ fight. the possible risk of you getting punched in the process led to ao’nung moving on instinct, and using his body to shield you. he took another step forward while his eyes stayed on the wrestling teenagers.

“boys, i believe ngeyä karyu said that is enough.”

your trance on his face only broke when ao’nung’s voice boomed over the crowd of students. the hard lines of his face and the crease in his forehead were enough to make a seasoned soldier cower, let alone a seventeen year old. at the sight of him towering over them, all of your students scattered with mumbled apologies and respective bows towards the chief’s son.

the way he commanded attention so easily was not lost on you.

ayvon snarled at kotxa one last time before listening to ao’nung’s orders, and the boy stomped away behind his friends. before kotxa even thought about going after him, you stepped around ao’nung and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“kotxa,” you attempted to pacify him. “it is not worth it.”

“you wouldn’t get it,” he scoffed at you. “ayvon’s a dickhead.”

“watch your mouth, boy.”

you rolled your eyes at ao’nung’s sudden tough act.

ao’nung did not mean to step in, but he also did not appreciate the boy’s language whilst speaking to you. he recognised kotxa as one of the older warriors’ son. ao’nung would have no problem mentioning kotxa’s bad language in the presence of his teacher to his father at their next meeting.

he swiftly bowed towards you apologetically, but it was easy to detect the hurt in kotxa’s eyes when he looked up. he unconsciously glanced at lei’ara’s lingering figure, and you knew that the boy just needed someone to see through him.

“do not mind him,” you ignored ao’nung and patted the younger boy on the shoulder. “maybe i wouldn’t get it, kotxa, but lei’ara is waiting for you. she did not leave with ayvon.”

kotxa’s jaw slackened as he met your eyes, understanding what you were trying to imply. you only gave him a sly wink in return, and called the girl over.

“lei’ara, please take kotxa to the healers,” you asked politely. “i will see you both for our lesson tomorrow.”

she nodded obediently, and the two of them quickly bid you and ao’nung farewell before lei’ara shoved kotxa along. you watched in amusement as you heard the girl nagging him for getting into trouble, and observed how kotxa happily accepted all of her scolding in silence.

with the beach empty, you were officially alone with ao’nung.

he felt weak in your presence. you had not even looked at him, but seeing you so near was causing ao’nung physical pain. to anyone else who did not know you, you might have looked completely fine, but ao’nung saw through it all. your posture was rigid, your ears stood up as if on high alert, and you moved as if you could feel him watching you. ao’nung wanted to step closer, but he had a feeling it would only push you further from him so he stood still.

you did not speak a word as you began to gather the hunting equipment that your students left behind.

“why are you avoiding me?”

without looking up, you answered smoothly.

“i am not avoiding you.”

“if you are not avoiding me, then why have i not seen you at all since i came back?”

ao’nung did not want to assume that you would miss him as much as he missed you, but he hoped that you would have at least felt his absence. it was a silly fantasy that ao’nung had, praying to the great mother that distance would make your heart would grow fonder of him.

you were still avoiding eye contact, busying yourself with the nets and spears you used during your lesson. usually this would be a mindless task, but having ao’nung hovering over you made it slightly more difficult.

“we are both busy people,” you retaliated lightly. “this is not as absurd as you are making it out to be, ao’nung.”

“ma sevin.”

“stop calling me that.”

ao’nung was frustrated by the evident way you spoke so calculatedly. hearing you say his name as a way to show you were keeping him at arms length was frustrating. you made it clear through a few words that you planned for everything to work in your favour alone. you wanted this conversation to happen under your terms and while you were a mastermind at work, ao’nung planned to thwart your efforts of keeping control.

“ma sevin, can you please look at me?”

just as it did earlier, his voice commanded your attention.

though you wanted to ignore him, your eyes briefly met his. the teal of his eyes were full of curiosity, and something else you could not name.

“why are you avoiding me?” ao’nung repeated his earlier question. when you did not reply, he hesitantly added, “is… is it because of du’onro?”

without a second thought, you slapped him across the face.

your self control and patience only went so far, and you let yourself explode. his mention of tu’amro reminded you too much of zamrey insinuating that you were a snake who went around with different men behind his back. whilst you were not mated yet, you held enough respect for ao’nung and your arrangement to not even consider other men. you would be damned if you were to allow either of them speak to you in that manner. they deserved each other if they both thought this way about you. breathing heavily, your eyes widened as you realised what you had done.

across from you, ao’nung could feel his cheek throbbing.

“you slapped me!”

“because you do not get to ask me about who i keep in my company, ao’nung,” you hissed. “i certainly do not ask you.”

“i can’t believe you slapped me!” he childishly exclaimed again. “i was only asking!”

“we are not each other’s keepers,” you threw the spear you were holding into the sand. “we are both adults who can spend time with whoever we wish.”

“okay, fine. you’re right, ma sevin,” ao’nung agreed. “but i want to know why you suddenly do not wish to spend time with me.”

you were struggling to hold back from speaking your mind. you wanted to lash out at him. you wanted to tell him why you felt so irritated with him. you wanted to scream at him for being so stupid. you wanted to confess that you did want to spend time with ao’nung. all of the words were on the tip of your tongue.

“because you vex me!”

“i vex you?” ao’nung did not mean to yell the question. “do you really think that you do not vex me? with all your running away?

“hm? but what do i have to run from, ao’nung?” you countered dismissively, bending down to pick up an arrow.

“you’re scared of something real happening between us.”

ao’nung might as well have physically slapped you back, and it would have hurt less than his bold statement. you hated that he was able to see right through you. whatever messy feelings you felt for him were not even real to you until you saw zamrey in his arms almost a week ago. avoiding him was the best thing you could do to protect yourself from facing the truth.

“i simply do not wish to be humiliated by you any further.”

“humiliated by me?”

the both of you were going around in circles. ao’nung had no idea what you were even talking about. he tried to remember anything he recently did to embarrass you and came up with nothing. he was incredibly pleased that the two of you were actually speaking now, but this was not what he expected. at this point, neither of you were going to get any proper answers if all you did was continue to speak in riddles.

“if you want to speak to the elders to change our arrangement, then please just do so,” you sighed defeatedly. “i will not stand being your second choice.”

“what do you mean by ‘second choice’?” nothing you said was making sense anymore, but ao’nung saw how your words were tumbling out of your mouth like water breaking through a dam.

“you should know exactly what i mean, ao’nung!” you turned and angrily jabbed him in the chest. “that woman has been nothing but awful towards me, and you still kissed her!”

ao’nung knew he had a track record of being stupid, but this topped everything else he had ever done in his life.

he was stupid for not realising what you were trying to say until now. you wanted him to end your mating arrangement. you did not want to be his second choice. you were the person he heard outside his marui. you saw him the night zamrey kissed him.

his mind focused on the admission that you sought him out the day he came back from the ta’unui clan.

ao’nung deduced that you must have not intended to reveal that you witnessed the kiss. with the way you looked at him with wide eyes and took a small step back after your outburst, ao’nung could tell that you had meant to keep it to yourself. you quickly dropped the weapons you were holding, and began walking away with your tail giving away your distress.

you did not have to deal with this confrontation if you did not want to, but ao’nung was not going to let you go so easily.

“sevin, listen to me,” ao’nung was well aware of how desperate he sounded and looked, but he did not give a fuck. “i pushed her away as soon as it happened! you have to believe me.”

“i actually do not have to believe anything, ao’nung!” you called behind your shoulder. “it does not matter to me what you do with other women, but i want no part in it.”

“zamrey came onto me, and i pushed her away. i swear to you, sevin. i would never touch her,” ao’nung was beginning to panic seeing you shake your head in disbelief. “i do not want her.”

he had no desire to speak to zamrey since the night she called you a bitch, much less kiss the girl. when she came unannounced to his marui, ao’nung immediately asked her to leave, but she managed to plant one on him as he was directing her towards the door. it lasted less than a second because ao’nung shoved her away from him, and told her that he never wanted to see her face again.

everything he had already said to you was true, but you were more stubborn than all the women in his family combined. you continued walking away from him, and ao’nung knew he had to say something to make you understand.

“oel ngati kameie.”

you slowed in your tracks, your ears flattening against your head at ao’nung’s vulnerable confession. the words he said were not to be taken lightly, and despite your prior hurt and anger, you found yourself softening. ao’nung took your slight pause as a chance to run in front of you, and block your path.

still, you kept your hands to your sides and you forced yourself to study the sand beneath you. ao’nung’s voice was still ringing in your mind, and you knew he would not say them if he did not mean it. you could not deny that your curiosity was piqued. your eyes slowly trailed up his frame, and landed on his fingers clumsily fussing over the pouch hanging on his hip.

in his state of panic, since he did not want you to walk away again, ao’nung was struggling to both breathe and unfasten the small bag at the same time. when ao’nung finally untied it, he let its contents fall into his palm.

it was breathtaking.

the pearl looked almost like the blue of the sky peeking through a white cloud, or like the blue of sea foam when it crashes against a rock. it was one of the reasons why you loved the colour so much. it always reminded you of the great mother’s creations all being connected to each other.

the shape of it was different too. smooth, but not round. not too small, not too big. it fell flat on his palm. you could only imagine how pretty it would look falling in between someone’s collarbones. it reminded you that flawlessness did not always mean something would be beautiful.

the cord that held the pendant was delicate, but strong. it was obvious that whoever made it did not have all the skills to make it flawless, yet you could see the intention behind it. there were similarities to metkayinan jewellery, though there were indicators that it was of another clan.

it was imperfectly perfect as it was.

“look at me.”

your eyes snapped up from the pearl necklace that glinted in the sunset’s warm light. you were met by ao’nung’s eyes shining with unshed tears.

you two spent your whole lives together, but this was the first time you ever saw ao’nung show this kind of honesty. you knew that he was the type of guy who always put others before him, and when he wanted something for himself, he never said it outright for fear of asking too much. ao'nung often played the role of the jokester, the role of the chief's son, or any role that was expected of the future olo'eyktan. seeing ao'nung bare his heart to you now was enough to make your own heart crack in your chest. you felt your own eyes beginning to water, and closed them so he would not see.

gently, ao'nung leaned his forehead on yours, closing his own eyes. matching your deep breaths, he slowly felt how your body relaxed and leaned into him too.

“ma sevin,” he spoke softly. “i only want you.”

at last, you opened your eyes.

you understood the weight of his words, the warmth of his touch, the meaning of the necklace in his palm. you understood that as the waves crashed against the rocks and sand, and as the sky changed from orange to purple, ao’nung kept his eyes locked on yours.

ao'nung looked at you like he could not see anything else that eywa created, and you believed him with all your heart.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

“i’ve been looking everywhere for this!”

your mother held up the reddish brown basket for her friend to see.

“oh! that is why it looked so familiar," ronal replied as she prepared tea. "i thought it might have been yours, or your mother's."

"did i forget it here this whole time?" your mother frowned as she set it down beside her. she had plenty of baskets to choose from, but she had not seen this particular one in weeks.

"ma 'eylan, we truly are getting old!" the tsahìk chuckled. "ao’nung gave it to me thinking that i left food in his marui when he returned from the ta'anui."

ronal was thankful that her dearest friend had the foresight of feeding her son upon his return from his travels.

"i give you my thanks for thinking of my son when i did not.”

“but ronal,” your mother responded to her friend wearily. “it was not me who brought ao'nung food that night.”

"if it was not you," ronal tilted her head in confusion. "then who did?"

the two women sat in silence with their tea for a few moments, before your mother gasped in realisation. ronal was used to her friend's dramatics, but she was guilty of equally matching them. it was why they remained such good friends after all these years.

"what do you know?" ronal gasped, and pointed accusingly.

"you are not going to believe me, ma 'eylan."

~~~~~

uttering the word felt foreign on your tongue, just as it felt foreign hearing it slip from neteyam’s lips.

“what i mean is that i will not do what you ask.”

“but you have never not done what i asked before,” you accused him with a frown. you were well aware that you sounded and looked like a petulant child, but you genuinely could not recall a single time that your desires were dismissed so easily by your lover.

“that’s because you never asked me this,” neteyam replied, continuing to busy himself with washing the fruit he gathered before eclipse. you always liked to have a sweet tea after dinner, and he knew how to prepare it best.

“this is very strange,” you state plainly, looking him up and down for signs of wounds or disease. you thought that perhaps your husband being ill was the only plausible explanation for his behaviour. you were not even aware up until this moment that neteyam even knew how to say the words to refuse you.

he simply laughed in return.

“you’re being dramatic, baby.”

as you opened your mouth to rebut again, a low chittering sound interrupted you. the sudden noise stopped almost as soon as it began, but neteyam’s ears twitched and your eyes widened. with the indication that he heard it, you knew that you were very much fucked. still, you pretended to not hear anything.

“dramatic, teyam? but you know you never say ‘no’ to me!”

you had hoped neteyam would be distracted enough by your exclamation, but your mate was a skilled hunter who had a tendency to follow his killer instincts. unfortunately for you, those instincts led his narrowed eyes away from your pretty face, and towards the corner of your home.

watching his gaze, you subtly tried to step in front of it to continue your argument. unfortunately for you, the basket began to move and the chittering started again. with a few calculated steps, neteyam easily stepped around you to get closer.

another tendency that neteyam had, which you learned quite quickly since meeting him, was to create distance between you and anything he deemed as a threat. seeing him switch his grasp on the harmless fruit knife, easily turned into a warrior’s weapon, made you jump to action.

“do not even think about it! that’s the fruit knife!”

“i’ll make you a new one.”

his outstretched arms prevented you from moving around him, already having made himself a living na’vi shield. while there wasn’t a big difference in your height, he still had a broader physique due to his father’s human genes. usually his broad shoulders were a great advantage for you in many other situations, but it was clear that they were a very big disadvantage in this case. so, you settled for wrapping your arms around his middle to hold him back instead.

with the right execution, you knew it would distract him enough to lead to one of those aforementioned other situations instead. after all, he was only a simple man. well, a simple man who never denied you of anything up until now.

“i don’t want a new one! teyam, this one is perfectly fi-”

“oh, you have got to be kidding me,” neteyam’s voice cut you off.

in your struggle to prevent any casualties involving your beloved fruit knife, you failed to notice that the blanket covering the wooden basket fell, revealing its contents. at a glance, you saw he still held the weapon, though you knew there would be no need for it anymore. you nervously chuckled as you felt the tension slightly ease from neteyam’s body.

“i can explain!” you manoeuvred your body so now you were the living na’vi shield of the basket, and faced your mate with the sweetest smile you could muster. “let’s calm down!”

“baby,” neteyam remained alert, still eying the movement behind your shoulder. “why is there a prolemuris in our house?”

you began your explanation as you delicately gathered the prolemuris in question into the fallen blanket.

“tuk and i found her earlier stuck in a tree. she was crying so loud, tied up in vines,” you efficiently wrapped the animal like a baby as you spoke softly, not wanting to startle her. “then, teyam, we couldn’t find her family! and tuk said she couldn’t bring her home after what happened with the thanator cub last time…” you trailed off not knowing how to plead your case.

neteyam continued for you in exasperation, “so you brought her here.”

“so i brought her here!” you repeated in agreement.

“you do realise that tuk isn’t a child anymore, right? she’s already eighteen but she’ll be spoiled forever if you keep on babying her,” neteyam dropped the knife on the table, and gave you a pointed look to which you rolled your eyes at. it was easy to detect neteyam’s affection for his little sister seeping into his voice. though they were in their adult years already, you can tell that he still remembers how it was like to carry her in his arms. eywa, even you still remember often seeing tuk carried in his arms.

much like how you were carrying the baby prolemuris right now.

“i didn’t say i wanted to keep her with us forever, teyam,” you kept your tone gentle but didn’t look at him, continuing to coo at the animal like it was your own blood. “it’s only until we find her family.”

realisation quickly dawned on him why you were so adamant on changing his earlier ‘no’ into a ‘yes’, but you didn’t see how neteyam’s expression softened. he knew since you were both young that you had a big heart. your heart was strong too, without a doubt, but what stood out to neteyam most was how you always made space to nurture those around you. even during your adolescence, others had viewed it as a weakness, but all neteyam saw was strength.

big heart.

it is always easier to be cruel than to be kind, and you unfailingly choose to be kind every day. as the future olo’eyktan, neteyam knew from the start that there was nobody else he wanted to lead the clan with.

he watched as you settled back down on the floor with the prolemuris nuzzling her little head against your chest. the sight would send any man to his knees, but neteyam knew he had to at least attempt to stand his ground. only the great mother knew how fast you would be able to change his mind.

“but when you asked me for permission to have a pet,” he moved to sit in front of you, connecting the dots with ease. “you didn’t expect that i would say ‘no’, which is why you panicked, hm?”

you did not bother giving him a response. the baby in your arms was looking up at you with her big eyes, almost as if she was begging not to be sent away. you pouted back at her, paying no attention to neteyam.

“because you already had one hidden beside where we sleep!” he continued, pleased that he finally understood your earlier dramatics. “but i still do not want a pet, by the way.”

“it is alright, neteyam. then you may sleep elsewhere, because she is staying with me,” you snarled, your maternal instincts to protect the creature prevailing. “perhaps you can go to your parents’ kelku for a while?”

“what?”

many things were wrong with what you just said.

first, you said his full name. you only ever say his full name when you want to stop talking to him. sometimes you slip it into conversations when you’re tired, or when you don’t want to be rude and flat out say that he was annoying you. while not always a bad thing, it was definitely not looking good for neteyam right now.

second, not sleeping anywhere near you? he must have hit his head after collecting the fruit for your tea because this was surely a hallucination. neteyam racked his brain to recall the last time he ever got a full night’s sleep without you beside him. he concludes that he was probably around sixteen years old.

lastly, to send him away to his parents was the final blow. this must be a prank, or maybe you were the one that hit your head while saving your new friend. why did you have to make things more difficult for him? you even said ‘for a while’, you harsh woman. he would be lucky if his mother and tuk never heard about this, or else he’d never hear the end of it.

neteyam thought that there was no way you were being serious until he saw you completely ignore his reply, and playfully rubbed your nose against the infant’s like it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

neteyam rubbed his temples, feeling a headache starting to form.

“baby, you’re killing me here.”

“then you better start packing a bag, neteyam!” you snapped at him with ice in your eyes, then continued coddling the animal with the ferocious fondness of a mother.

the backs of his eyes were beginning to hurt. he thought he would last longer than five minutes but neteyam was going to break. the mighty warrior would be defeated by the love of his life who knew exactly how to bend him to her will.

he stood and made himself his own portion of tea before turning around and offering yours in your favourite cup. it was one of his first courting gifts for you, a simple wooden little thing with carved stars that held the perfect amount of drink. the memory of his clumsy teenage whittling was still engraved in his mind, thoughts of wanting to impress you permanently instilled in him. even now, neteyam’s chest swelled with pride every time you use it, knowing you treasured it as much as he treasured you.

he observed your ears flattening against your head, and your eyes drifting from the infant to the steaming tea. its sweet scent filled both your noses, and neteyam knew his peace offering would be accepted once you took a sip.

only you did not sip. instead, you only resumed murmuring reassurances to the baby beast in your arms. even through his confusion, he caught something that sounded much too similar to ‘cuddling’.

neteyam would be damned if you were cuddling a prolemuris tonight instead of him so with a heavy sigh and a quick prayer to the great mother, he admitted defeat.

“only until we find her family.”

neteyam watched your ears twitch, and knew you heard him. then he decided to add, “but she is not sleeping beside us.”

eventually, you placed down your sleepy companion to lay beside you. then, you faced your mate, still choosing not to speak. you were looking at him as if you were expecting more, but neteyam spotted your hands inching towards your cup of tea.

he sighed once again, glancing at the chittering lump wrapped in the blanket you wove, “and i will personally make a bed for her.”

before he had even finished his sentence, you already launched yourself to hug him across the low table. with all your limbs tangled together, neteyam knew he finally said the right thing.

“thank you, teyam! she’ll be so good! thank you!”

hearing you happily squeal was enough to make neteyam grin and nuzzle his face into you neck, but hearing his nickname come from your lips was a sweeter victory.

you soon removed your arms from around his neck and took a sip of the cold tea, savouring it like it was still hot, and gave him a peck on the cheek. at the sight of his exaggerated frown, you decided to kiss his pout away, thinking it was the least that neteyam deserved after what you put him through.

“i can’t kiss you any more, teyam, we have company.”

later that evening, after many stolen kisses from his end, neteyam comfortably laid beside you in your shared hammock. just as he began to fall asleep, he felt your body shift and a slight dip in your side. he was about to protest, knowing exactly where the added weight came from, but neteyam heard you softly whisper in the dark and stopped himself.

“he’s sweet, isn’t he, ‘evi? i told you he never says ‘no’ to me.”

oh, you and your big heart might end up being the death of him, but neteyam knew he could never deny you of anything ever again.

~~~~~

please keep in mind:

all characters are aged up as adults in their mid 20s / 30s.

reader is always written as fem!na’vi.

i do not write smut.

requests are closed, but i am open to ideas/prompts if they fit the direction i want to go with my writing.

lowercase is intended. (i do it for the love of the game).

neteyam

“the whole clan knew it would happen since you were both young. after all, there’s always a good chance that falling in love with your best friend will be the best thing you ever do.”

i. “big heart.”

ii. “i’ll miss you.”

iii. coming soon!

lo’ak

“opposites attract, that’s what makes you two work. who could have guessed that the misunderstood bad boy and the perfect good girl would end up meeting in the middle of love?”

i. coming soon!

ao’nung

“you brought the rain, and he brought the sunshine. you’d rather swim across the oceans instead of being mated with him. too bad he’d love to swim through it all with you.”

i. “good boy.”

ii. “hands off.”

iii. “look at me.”

iv. coming soon!

jake sully

“falling out of love wasn’t the same as taking a break. giving yourselves a chance to grow alone wasn’t the same as growing apart. both knew that home would always be with each other.”

i. “sorry not sorry.”

ii. coming soon!

tonowari

“love was cruel. he found it once with someone else, and he thought it would last until it didn’t. staying alone was your plan, and you tried it until you couldn’t. love was also very funny.”

it was meant to be a short trip. he was told that it would only take three days at most. his father had ordered for him and a few other warriors to go meet with ta'unui olo’eyktan to talk over the reinforcements of their reef borders. for many years, they had been allies who helped each other in times of need and ao’nung knew that if he were to take over his father as olo’eyktan of the metkayina, he should be able to handle a few talks about border control.

unfortunately for him, their discussions lasted longer than anticipated. though ao’nung was glad to be surrounded by sand and water rather than the humidity of the forest, he still did not feel at home.

ao’nung felt that there was something missing, and deep down in his heart knew it was just you that he missed.

it had gotten to the point that everything he saw reminded him of you, and ao’nung was beginning to think he was losing his mind. the only consolation he found in his time away was an imperfectly shaped light blue pearl.

during his third morning away from you, ao’nung swam long enough that it would have been impossible to miss it. the way that the midday sun shone through the water, almost making a spotlight, was the only sign he needed from the great mother to take it with him. the pearl was something so simple and yet so reflective of you, that he knew it was something that you would love. the shape was unique and elegant, just like how he saw you.

ao’nung spent the rest of that afternoon with the artisans of the ta’unui elders. they taught him how to create a pendant out of the pearl, and helped him fashion a necklace to bring home to you. they teased him for being clueless and clumsy with his hands, yet they commended ao’nung for being a thoughtful suitor. ao’nung told them stories about you two growing up together, but he did not share that you were already arranged to be mated. when he finished, ao’nung was touched by the older women who prayed to the great mother to bless your courtship.

honestly, ao’nung had no idea if you would see the necklace as a courting gift or if you would even bother to wear it at all. the only thing he knew was that he wanted was to impress you, and he was willing to accept any reaction you would give him.

ao’nung kept the pearl necklace close to him over the next few days. he used it as an anchor to get him through the meetings and endless discussions, and ao’nung found comfort in knowing you would be the one holding it soon.

hours after eclipse, their party arrived late and exhausted on the shores of awa’atlu with nobody to greet them. though he wanted nothing more than to just leave them and go home, he knew he had to say a few words as their leader. so, ao’nung told everyone that they did well, and that they deserved a good night’s sleep after their week of hard work before dismissing them.

in silence, he hastily made his way to his marui on the outskirts of the village. ao’nung wanted the comfort of his own space, and he did not care about the hunger in his stomach enough to look for something to eat as he walked through the entryway.

much to ao’nung’s surprise, there was a basket of fresh fruit sitting on the table. he curiously peeked under the covers of the plate beside it, and found that they contained his favourite dish.

that night, ao’nung went to sleep with a belly full of food, and dreams of you wearing a blue pearl necklace.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

“you came home late last night.”

“mama!” you shrieked in fright, and turned to look at the woman with your hand clutching your chest.

“and have you seen my fruit basket, ma 'itetsyìp?”

“you scared me!”

“you’re too jumpy for a woman covered in all those tattoos,” she tutted, and you heard you father laugh from outside.

“i am jumpy,” you crouched down to pick up the comb that you dropped. “because my mother has made it a habit to creep up on me.”

“ma 'itetsyìp, i was simply asking if you have seen my basket,” she chuckled. “i planned to bring fruit to the tsahìk, but i cannot seem to remember where i’ve placed it.”

you continued combing your hair and replied with as much nonchalance as you could muster, “i have not seen it, but i’m sure it will turn up somewhere, mama.”

your mother met your eyes in the mirror with a hint of suspicion in her gaze. she did not for one second believe that you did not know where the basket was, but she was more curious than angry about why you were lying. she racked her mind for what you could have possibly done with her dear basket, but your mother figured you would give it back soon enough. hopefully, it would come with an explanation for the unusual secrecy.

“hm, i suppose i do have plenty of other baskets to choose from,” she pondered. “but what of you coming home late?”

your father peeked his head from outside your window.

“i’m heading to meet with the olo’eyktan,” he announced. “ao’nung’s party came back last night.”

“that is great news!” your mother watched you as she spoke to her mate. “i hope that he had a successful trip.”

“me too, ma muntxate,” your father replied to her sweetly. “i’ll let you know later. see you both tonight!”

“see you later, papa,” you smiled at him briefly, before you addressed your mother. “and to answer your question, i came home late because i forgot something at the teacher’s hut.”

“did you go to meet ao’nung?”

“are you going to ignore what i literally just said?”

“i just find it funny that your father said ao’nung returned last night, and you also came home late last night,” your mother was adamant to get something out of you before you left.

“that is called a coincidence, mama.”

unfortunately for her, you did not want to give her the satisfaction hearing what she wanted to hear. the woman still has not learned the art of subtlety, but you were innocent of her accusations. you could tell she expected more by the way her brows furrowed together. perhaps she would be happy to even just hear you say ao’nung’s name, but you did not.

instead, you busied yourself by gathering the things you needed for your morning lessons with the children of the clan. you had a hectic day ahead of you because after the children, you were going to have lessons with some of the older kids. though the idea of being surrounded by hormonal and moody teenagers was daunting, one of the elders asked you last night if you could take over for today. since he said that he had to take care of his sick grandson, there was no way that you were going to say ‘no’ to him. this only meant that you knew that there was a good chance that you would be busy until dinner.

“it would be a shame if ao’nung had to leave again soon.”

you shook your head to stop yourself from laughing.

“mama, i am going to be late,” you sidestepped her. giving her a kiss on the cheek before you head out the door, you added, “but i will see you later. please tell ronal tsahìk that i said hello.”

as your day started with chattering children who were full of energy, ao’nung was on the other side of the village.

he was one of the first few people to arrive to the chief’s hut, walking in only minutes after your father did.

“ma ao’nung! it is good to see you!” your father patted him on the shoulder. “how was your trip home?”

“kaltxì, ma leyokoaktan,” ao’nung grinned at him. “i nearly fell asleep on my skimwing, and we got home later than expected because of some rough weather yesterday morning.”

he received a guffaw in return.

your father was a kind man, despite what the sharp angles and hard corners of his face might say to those who did not know him. he was the best hunter out of the whole clan, and he was close friends with ao’nung’s own father. the two of them carried out their iknimaya together as boys, and have been through battles side by side over the years. he was a strong man and made sure that you would be strong too, hence why you were so talented with a spear and crossbow.

despite your skills and being decorated with many tattoos similar to the other warriors, you rarely attended these meetings. ao’nung knew that you chose to stick to teaching the children and took on other roles in the clan because you believed that there has been too much violence in the reef already. you wanted a better future for the metkayina, a peaceful future, and ao’nung supposed that it made sense why the elders arranged for your mating.

the clan needed a leader with ao’nung’s warrior spirit, but it also needed a compassionate and kind leader like you.

“did you manage to eat when you arrived?” your father asked with concern.

“i did. there was food left in my marui,” ao’nung replied. “but i am unsure who left it there. i assumed that it was my mother.”

“she must have known you would be starving!”

your father rather liked ao’nung. he thought that ao’nung was strong, clever, and accomplished. he knew tonowari and ronal well from their many years of friendship, and trusted them like his own blood. just the fact that they raised ao’nung told your father all he needed to know about the young man. when the elders convened to pair you together, your father could have cried with joy.

as the conversation flowed between them, and more people entered the hut, your father made an observation with a laugh.

“you’re beginning to look more like your father each day, boy!”

“are you sure about that, ma leyokoaktan?” ao’nung acted offended. to tease his own father, he added, “i think i get my good looks from my mother.”

the joke was a hit among the other warriors who laughed, and the olo’eyktan jokingly glared at his son.

“when everyone is finished making fun of their chief,” tonowari said sarcastically. “then i would like ao’nung to share what he achieved in terms of our border agreements with the ta’unui.”

at the stern mention of his name, ao’nung stood tall in front of the strongest warriors of the metkayina. instantly, he stepped into the role of their next olo’eyktan, his expression turning serious. looking at the expectant faces of the hardened soldiers of his clan, ao’nung knew that this would be a very long day.

by the time all of your lessons ended, you were hungry and you just wanted to sleep.

it was a good day for you. the children were as excited to learn more about the reef as they always were, and you had prepared fun activities to keep them busy. later on in the day, you were happy that the teenagers were less moody than you expected.

the only minor setback you had today was due to one of the boys named kotxa.

everything was going great, in your humble opinion, and it was all going to plan. the group of seventeen year olds had already bonded with their ilus and were skilled swimmers, so you had less to worry about. your lesson was focused on hunting. all of them were excited and followed your instructions closely that you thought you would be returning to the shore at sunset without any trouble.

you were proved wrong because kotxa decided to annoy lei’ara.

when you got back to the beach, everyone was congratulating lei’ara for her catch of the day. it was a heavier glider fin compared to the others, and you believed that the girl deserved all of the praise she received. however, kotxa came out of the water with an even bigger glider fin loosely held in hand.

you easily found out that the two of them have been competing for top rank in their age group when lei’ara lunged at kotxa. you watched at the two rolled around on the sand, not knowing if you wanted to laugh or intervene. the boy did not even look phased as she pinned him down and hissed that he was trying to outdo her. kotxa’s only reply was “it’s just a fish, ma yawntutsyìp.”

“lei’ara, enough,” you finally stepped in before any blood was spilled by her hands. “you have both proven your points.”

with one more hiss at him, lei’ara let her friends drag her off of kotxa. the boy stood up with a smug expression before you addressed them all as a group.

“you all did well today regardless of what you caught or did not catch. be proud of your efforts, and do better tomorrow. now, go home and prepare yourselves for dinner.”

they all thanked you for your lesson, and bid you farewell.

the only one that stayed behind was kotxa. he offered to help you carry the nets and spears back to the hunter’s shed, which you gladly accepted. the walk was quiet which you were grateful for, and the boy only spoke just as he was about to leave.

“i wanted to tell you that i was going to give the glider fin to lei’ara,” kotxa looked more nervous and unsure than he did on the beach. “before she attacked me, i mean. it might look like i was trying to outshine her, but i wasn’t.”

it was enough to remind you that men truly were stupid at every stage of their lives. you chuckled knowingly at his confession and the doubt on his face before giving him a few words of encouragement.

“you know, kotxa, if you wanted to court lei’ara then you should use your words, aside from your actions. you cannot expect the girl to understand your feelings unless you voice them.”

in return, kotxa beamed at you, and bowed in thanks. he walked away with more self-assurance in his stride, but you frowned at his back. you did not like that the boy reminded you of ao’nung.

you spent the whole week trying to not think of the man, keeping yourself occupied with lessons and other duties. yet, it was only now that you allowed your thoughts to drift back to him being physically back on the island. ao’nung was somebody who was consistently around you throughout your whole life, and you figured that this was the only reason why you noticed his absence more than usual during the week. that was all.

you told yourself that it only felt strange because there was nobody hovering or annoying you.

after organising the hunter’s shed for tomorrow’s morning hunt, you decided that you deserved to skip dinner after the day you had. as you walked, you let your thoughts flow freely like the water you loved. you always liked being alone and enjoyed the peace that came without having other people around. you heard the clan’s lovely music and the sound of merriment fade into the distance as you walked aimlessly.

blinking yourself back to reality, you realised that you were only a short distance away from a familiar hut. you were standing close enough that you were able to see that there was a fire lit inside, but you did not hear any voices. you do not understand how you ended up here, but you should have turned around as soon as you recognised where you were.

your feet took you to ao’nung’s marui.

somehow, over the course of the past few weeks, ao’nung became someone you found yourself gravitating towards. that idea alone was scary because you never sought him out before. though the two of you had known each other your whole lives, due to your families, you were never truly friends. more often than not, ao’nung was just there no matter where you were.

you should have turned around and went home, but you did not.

you recalled the different incidents that happened recently in your lives as you strolled. a few weeks ago, you pranked ao’nung in front of his friends and the same evening, you fell asleep in his arms as you both stayed in the water. when you woke up, you apologised for your impoliteness, and blamed it on how exhausted you were and how soothing the water was. all ao’nung said was that he did not mind holding you, and the two of you returned to the shore.

a few days before ao’nung left to meet the ta’unui clan, you braided his hair with the same seashells as your own, and ao’nung showed it off to his friends at dinner. after the meal, you nearly pounced on an omatikayan woman named zamrey. she was a friend of the sully family, joining them to visit awa’atlu. she made advances towards ao’nung, whom everyone knew was promised to you, but you did not say a word. zamrey was constantly disrespectful and insulted you by calling you a bitch, which is where you drew the line. before you managed to land a punch, ao’nung took you away from the dinner crowd, and you allowed him to distract you. you spent the evening talking about anything and everything you could think of until you both fell asleep.

the thought of the woman reminded you of your most recent altercation.

yesterday, after your morning classes, tsireya invited you to join their group to come swimming with them with the tulkun. as always, you were hesitant about it but the younger girl was too difficult to say deny. tsireya’s bright eyes only held warmth and affection that you only nodded in response. you figured that it had been a while since you had time to swim with your spirit sister, and it would be a nice to spend time with them under the afternoon sun.

tsireya was smart enough to warn you that zamrey would be there as well, but you did not mind as long as the girl kept to herself. you were not joining them for her, you were joining because it was nice to be wanted. you liked seeing everyone’s face light up when they saw you, and you realised that becoming their friend was easier than you thought. it was always a regret of yours to have dismissed the sully children when they first arrived to your island, but they were always good-natured despite your hostility. you supposed that part of your resentment had to do with how ao’nung became friends with them so easily despite all their problems at the start.

your spirit sister, yiren, was overjoyed to see you. she asked about your family, about the children you taught, and you returned her questions with your own. it was even a surprise that she asked about ao’nung. you had vented to her before about your dissent towards your mating arrangement with him, but yiren seemed to be curious about the man after not seeing you for so long.

as you sat on her fin, a short distance from where the others spoke with their own spirit brothers and sisters, yiren continued to mention ao’nung.

“you are with his friends, yet he is not here.”

“he is away with the ta’unui clan, and tsireya invited me,” you explained aloud while signing. “why? did you not miss me?”

“of course i have missed you, sister,” yiren let out a sound that sounded like a laugh. “but i see you are different now.”

“different?”

“there is love in your eyes when you speak of ao’nung.”

you gasped and splashed yiren at her appalling words. the tulkun made another laughing sound at your reaction, before everyone beckoned you both over to go to the nearest shore to rest. the afternoon was spent in good company, and you had hopes that you would be invited to more of these days out.

it would have even been a perfect day for you if zamrey learned to keep her mouth shut in your presence.

it started after your volley game. due to the uneven number of players, you offered to play on the boys’ team which they welcomed wholeheartedly. your team won, and the boys were all singing your praises to tease the other girls. rotxo, in his excitement, hugged you by the waist and swung you around for leading the team to victory.

it was all fun and banter until zamrey walked over and spoke to you with a patronising voice that cut through the whole group’s laughter.

“be careful, kiri. i guess she’s a snake too.”

you simply raised your brows at her and ignored the insult, trying to salvage the remaining piece of your patience. it was a difficult feat, but you tried your best since you would have hated to ruin the day.

unfortunately, zamrey had the survival instincts of a leaf.

“you’ve been flirting with nungy’s friends all day. i wouldn’t be surprised if you did more than that behind his back,” she scoffed and rolled her eyes. “you don’t deserve him.”

“that’s okay. you can have him if you want, zamrey,” you laughed at her empty words. “only i don’t know if he’ll want you.”

the fight was not pretty in the slightest.

zamrey slapped you first, probably thinking you would be caught off guard. yet, unlike the other night around the fire, nobody was able to stop you from finally putting her in her place. there were gasps of surprise, and you felt a hand landing on your shoulder as if to stop you, but zamrey was standing near enough that she had no way to avoid your attack.

you bared your teeth at her before grabbing a fistful of her hair. zamrey immediately lost her footing and tumbled in the sand, screaming in pain. you overheard from kiri that she was a fine singer in their clan, but it was clear that zamrey underestimated your strength. to add on, the girl did not know was that you have been trained to be a warrior of the metkayina before you chose to be a teacher instead. zamrey tried to pry your fingers off her in panic, but your grip on her hair never loosened as you dragged her by the hair on the sand.

“let me go, you bitch!”

you managed to straddle her torso and yanked her hair some more, getting close to her face. she stopped moving, but still clung onto your wrist that held her in place. you stared into her eyes that showed you only fear, but you were not satisfied yet.

you managed to strike her face once before hissing.

“stay down.”

in hindsight, it was barely even a fight and it did not last long at all. you let go of zamrey with another shove into the sand before releasing her hair. once you were apart, you walked away without a scratch, but you had a feeling that you left her with a few bald patches that day. it was never your intention, but it was a relief to know that zamrey would leave you alone after seeing what you were capable of. you ended up excusing yourself from everyone, who looked to be in proud and in awe. instead, you spent the rest of the day swimming around with yiren.

shaking your head at the memory, you approached ao’nung’s home.

there was a buzz that settled under your skin, and it was hard to admit that a small part of you was excited to see him. the bigger part of you tried to ignore it. when you opened the flap of his marui to announce your arrival, the buzz vanished into thin air.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

the sight of his lips on her’s paralysed you, and your breath caught in your throat. clumsily, you let go of the flap and took a staggered step back. you did not want to alert the couple that you saw them, so you moved as quickly as your body allowed.

in your haste, you must have made more noise than you thought, because there was suddenly a rustling sound that came from inside. your legs were not moving fast enough for your liking, and you hated the thought of being caught in this way. so, before anybody could spot you, you jumped into the water below.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

you were grateful that ao’nung chose a hut that was close to the water, and you were far enough from the main village that the area was not as well lit. swimming as fast as you could, you easily made it to a nearby rock, and hid behind it in time to hear ao’nung’s voice call out.

“who’s there?”

the waves crashing around you were loud enough that you knew it would be impossible to hear your laboured breathing from his position. quietly, you rested your forehead on the cool stone, and thanked the great mother for keeping you hidden.

once again, you were alone with your thoughts, only this time it did not bring you peace. instead, it led to your throat tightening and your eyes beginning to burn.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

your vision blurred, and you did not understand why. you tried to swallow the lump in your throat, yet it only hurt you more. you brushed your hair out of your face in an attempt to clear your head. it was hard to tell if ao’nung left already or if he said anything else, but you stayed where you were. there was no reason for you to feel so affected by what you saw.

you had no idea why you were struggling to take deep breaths. each inhale you took was too shallow. you were certain that you were not keeping any air in your lungs at all. your fingers gripped the rock harder, your nails digging into it. you were trying to find something stable enough to ground you and bring you back to your senses.

nothing was working.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

why was nothing working?

shutting your eyes tightly, you began to pray to the great mother. everything was hurting and you were beginning to panic. the tightness in your chest was not easing even as you rubbed a shaking hand over it. the waves around you did not feel soothing as they usually did, and the night’s breeze did not cool your skin like you wished it would.

you were foolish to even think about seeking ao’nung out.

it was reckless of you to let your heart lead you there. the two of you were barely even friends. you were not mated, and your arrangement was only there because of the elders’ persistence. it should not have mattered to you what he did with other women. even if it was a woman who showed you disrespect countless of times since her arrival. you meant it when you told zamrey that she could have him. there was some part of you assumed ao’nung would never want her, but you were wrong.

you forgot that it was you that he never wanted.

ao’nung was kissing zamrey.

you recalled all of the lessons that you grew up being taught by the matriarchs of your family. they only ever mentioned and told you about how stupid men could be. now, you wondered why they never told you the second part of their advice. nobody spoke about the ways that women could be stupid too.

you had to find out on your own that women were stupid when it came to love. your grandmother still loved your grandfather despite his shortcomings. your mother still loved your father despite his flaws. love was stupid in itself, and this is what troubled you now. ao’nung did not love you, and the feelings you had for ao’nung could not be love either.

you knew that love was not supposed to feel like this.

all of your prayers to the great mother were answered after some time, and soon enough your breathing returned to normal. with a small peek around the rock, you saw that the light in ao’nung’s marui was gone. relieved, you swam away until you were far from the shore with no specific place in mind.

that night, you tossed and turned with an aching heart, and you were forced to see the image of ao’nung’s lips on zamrey’s every time you closed your eyes.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

ao’nung woke up the next morning with the plan to finally give you the necklace he made. he easily made his way through the village without any interruptions, which he was grateful for. he could feel the pearl bouncing around in the small pouch by his hips as he took confident steps towards your family’s marui.

when ao’nung arrived, your mother was just about to leave.

“good morning, ao’nung,” she did not expect to see him alone.

“good morning, ma leyokoakte,” he greeted her, noticing the surprise on her face. “is something the matter?”

“oh, it is nothing!” your mother’s eyes met his. “i just assumed that my daughter would be with you this morning.”

“why would you think that?” ao’nung asked in confusion.

“she did not come home last night, ao’nung,” she replied, slowly becoming confused too. “and i know that she had slept in your marui before?”

“ma leyokoakte, i came here because i have not seen your daughter since the day i left.”

for as long as ao’nung has known you, there was rarely a time you ever slept anywhere apart from your home. the night your mother was talking about, when you slept in his marui, was spontaneous and unplanned. that was different to now because you were with him and ao’nung knew that you were safe. this time, you clearly did not bother to inform anybody about where you went. your mother’s words made him frown, and caused dread to slowly fill his stomach.

your mother could see where ao’nung’s thoughts were going based on how his face changed.

“i am sure my daughter will show up during the day,” she tried to comfort him. “let us not worry, ao’nung.”

“yes, i will try,” ao’nung sighed in defeat, and your mother patted him on the shoulder as she walked away to the weavers hut.

ao’nung knew the older woman was right, but still, he spent the rest of the day like a lost child.

all of his friends came him and ao’nung thought that you would too. they filled him on different news, and when he asked them, they told him about you. childishly, ao’nung thought it was unfair how everybody saw more of you than he did, and it did not help him feel any better about not seeing you in the morning.

pril told him about how fun your lessons were yesterday, and all the new things she learned about different reef creatures.

tsireya told him that she kept you company during his week away, and that you were kept busy by the elders who asked for help around the clan. she told him about how zamrey picked a fight with you few afternoons ago when the omatikayan girl felt brave. ao’nung was more than happy to hear that you walked away unscathed.

neteyam and lo’ak told him that zamrey kept to herself since the fight, and the girl did not bother you. additionally, kiri shared that zamrey had left awa’atlu at dawn, claiming that she missed the forest.

lastly, rotxo told him that during recent mornings, he heard some of the other hunters teasing do’uram about his feelings for you again.

despite all the stories involving you, ao’nung still had not seen your face for himself. he went to all the places he thought he would find you, like the teachers’ huts or the hunters’ sheds, but you were nowhere to be found.

even during the evening meal, ao’nung attended in hopes of catching a glimpse of you, but he was disappointed to see that you skipped it as well.

he ate quickly and made his way to your family’s marui for the second time with a plate of food, in case you had not eaten. to his dismay, you were not home still. ao’nung was wondering if even ate at all while he was began his walk to his marui. he was silently praying that eywa would show him the way to you, but he knew not to get his hopes up.

just when he was about to accept defeat, ao’nung suddenly heard your laugh in the distance. with hopeful strides that his eyes would finally meet yours after so long, he immediately followed the sound and thanked the great mother for answering so fast.

ao’nung easily found you on the beach, but all of the hope he felt was replaced by a sinking feeling in his chest.

you were laughing in the water, splashing to’arum. he was far enough that he could not hear what you were talking about, but he could see your wide smile and round eyes invested in what your friend was saying. ao’nung thought back to what rotxo told him earlier, and the teasing hunters. did this guy think a single week away would be long enough to get rid of ao’nung?

he hated that the thought of you sleeping in ru’ormo’s marui last night crossed his mind.

suddenly, ao’nung’s feet moved before he realised, and he began marching towards the two of you. both of your ilus popped out of the water, and ao’nung knew he would not reach you in time. you quickly left, another laugh trailing behind you in the sea breeze. it took everything in his body not to jump into the water and swim after you. when it came to you, ao’nung had a feeling that he would be able to do it.

for a moment, he could have sworn he saw your eyes flicker in his direction as you sped away, but ao’nung considered that maybe his eyes were only playing tricks on him out of pity.

the walk home was silent to the point that ao’nung wondered if his ears were blocked because they still had water in them. the image of you laughing before you were submerged in the water kept replaying in ao’nung’s mind, and he wondered how he went a week without you at all.

ao’nung laid in his hammock, and began counting all the stars he could see outside his window. it was something that he often did when he could not find the peace to sleep. the method worked since he was a child, and he thought that it would work for him again.

that night, ao’nung gave up on the stars. instead, his focus drifted to the weight of your pearl necklace feeling heavier in his hand than it did that morning.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

for the next two days, ao’nung thought it was just a coincidence that you became so busy that it was impossible to get even just a few minutes of your time.

he found out from your mother that you took on more lessons with the teenagers of the clan. it surprised him that the lessons involved hunting, a task that you only enjoyed as a pastime. ao’nung tried not to think about it too deeply, but since your midnight escapade with ru’atmo, he hated that there was a small chance that this new project of yours had to do with the hunter.

by the fourth day of your avoidance, your little game of hide and seek was not so little anymore. what began as something amusing turned into a nightmare for anybody who had to spend time around ao’nung.

his father noticed that ao’nung’s mind wandered during their meetings. his mother noticed that ao’nung was not eating as much as usual. tsireya noticed that ao’nung did not speak unless spoken to. pril noticed that ao’nung always had a frown on his face.

to say the least, everybody noticed that ao’nung was moping.

you, however, were oblivious to the fact. having thrown yourself in your duties, you managed to find a way to ignore the slight dull ache that lingered in your heart.

this is not to say that evading ao’nung was easy. the man was as persistent as a moth to a flame. you left your home early and arrived late at night, just to make sure he would not catch you there. during your lessons with the children, you made sure that you left early before some parents came to pick them up. there was a chance that ao’nung would try to use pril as an excuse, so you made sure to keep her at arms length too. it was wrong, but it was necessary. there should be no favourites in the classroom anyways.

what brought you joy during this time were the teenagers.

they were lively, and they were fun to be around. they were fearless, and you knew that the future of the clan would be in safe hands because of them.

funnily enough, you also enjoyed teaching your lessons because kotxa and lei’ara were great entertainment. the boy seemed to have followed your advice because there was a sudden lack of violence from lei’ara. the two of them appeared to have reached some sort of mutual agreement as well, if you were to judge the way the girl no longer pushed him away when he stood too close.

you never had a teenage romance for yourself, but you liked watching theirs bloom in front of your eyes. if you never gave him any advice, kotxa would have been stupid enough to keep annoying poor lei’ara. when they end up mated in the future, you planned to take all the credit.

the sudden shift did not go unnoticed by your family either.

your grandmother wondered why you rose with the sun, and why you returned when the moon was bright. your mother wondered if you were eating enough food, and if you were getting enough sleep. your father wondered why you began hunting more frequently again, and why you were spending more time with tu’amro.

when the sixth day came, ao’nung was unbearable to be near.

despite his moody attitude, his friends forced him to come with them to their favourite cove. they said it would be good for him to be away from the village for a few hours. it took a lot of coaxing, but eventually they all left before noon. when the group finally arrived, ao’nung kept to himself.

after a few hours, ao’nung sat on one of the tree stumps near the edge of the cove just watching the waves crash against the rocks. neteyam decided to finally step in when he watched his best friend throw something in frustration. he walked over slowly, not wanting to startle the other man, and picked up the object from the sand.

“this is a beautiful necklace, brother,” neteyam settled down on the rock beside ao’nung. “why throw it?”

it was a pearl necklace. the light blue colour of it reminded neteyam of the matching seashells you and ao’nung still wore in both of your hair. neteyam did not need to be a genius to know what ao’nung intended to do with it.

“because i don’t want it anymore.”

“why is that?”

ao’nung did not give him answer. truthfully, he did not know what to answer or where to even begin. his inner turmoil was so obvious that neteyam decided that it would make things easier for his friend to open up by hearing a story.

“did i ever tell you that when i first started courting my mate, i thought she did not like me,” he asked, watching the ebb and flow of clear blue waters on the shore.

“weren’t you two best friends before you mated?” ao’nung found himself asking, though he did not even plan on giving neteyam a reply. he knew exactly what his friend was trying to do.

“we are still best friends,” neteyam corrected him with a laugh. “but yes, i fell in love with her when i was just a boy.”

at that, ao’nung looked away from the sea and turned to his friend. he took note of how neteyam’s eyes were glossed over at the mere thought of his mate. she was no stranger to ao’nung, having met her multiple times over the years, and he knew her to be the light of neteyam’s life. outside of his duty and responsibility, neteyam had a mate who accepted him simply as he was. it brought a small smile to ao’nung’s face. his friend did not have an easy life, and he was happy to know that someone took care of him when he neglected himself.

ao’nung’s smile dimmed when he imagined you getting along with neteyam’s mate. you would probably like her.

“we were eighteen when i decided to act on my feelings, but i almost gave up when i thought she did not reciprocate,” neteyam shook his head at his own stupidity as he recalled memory. “remember that feather zamrey gave you?”

“what about it?”

“in our clan, the women give a feather to the suitor that they claim,” neteyam explained, watching ao’nung’s expression. “and my best friend gave one to me on the day i almost gave up.”

ao’nung wondered what would have happened to neteyam if he gave up. would his best friend have fallen in love with someone else by now? then again, ao’nung knew that eywa never made any mistakes. neteyam and his best friend were destined to be together. they would find their way back to each other, and that was beautiful. was your mating arrangement with him the will of eywa too? or did your families meddle too much, and forgot that the great mother had the final say in the end?

in the middle of his pondering, ao’nung realised what neteyam actually revealed.

“bro, you should have told me!” ao’nung exclaimed. “i wouldn’t have accepted it if i knew.”

“well, i thought there was no need. i was not sure if you were claimed by another,” neteyam teased his friend. “until you showed up with blue seashells in your hair.”

his comment shut ao’nung up.

he knew that neteyam was right. ao’nung never courted you, and you never actually chose him. he was handpicked for you by the elders, and you obediently accepted it because you believed it was the right thing to for the clan. the way you were gentle with his hair and let him sleep on your lap was because you were kind. even if ao’nung annoyed you endlessly, you were still kind to him. the seashells were just a fluke. you only did it because zamrey gave him that feather, and you wanted to prove something to her. you never wanted ao’nung since the beginning.

it suddenly dawned on him that he wished you did claim him. ao’nung hoped that since he fell in love with you, you would eventually feel the same for him.

“now tell me, brother, what weighs on your heart?” neteyam wanted more than anything to help his friend. he saw the heartache in ao’nung’s eyes, and how much pain he was in. he did not want to pry, but he knew that ao’nung needed a push in the right direction.

“you wouldn’t be asking me that if you didn’t know.”

“i would not be asking if you just admitted it to yourself.”

“my heart belongs to her,” ao’nung sighed. he could feel his chest constricting as he spoke, “but she does not want it.”

“how are you sure about that if you never said it to her?”

neteyam was looking into the distance when he felt ao’nung finally turned to face him. he met his eyes with a knowing look. it was all ao’nung needed to see before taking the necklace from neteyam’s hand.

“you’re too wise for your own good.”

“and you’re too stupid, brother.”

while ao’nung poured out his heart to neteyam, you were just finished wrapping up your morning lessons.

for the first time in days, you allowed yourself to linger in the teachers’ hut. you knew that ao’nung and his friends went to the cove before noon, and you could breathe freely for the next few hours.

“ma karyu?”

pril could tell that something was wrong.

she might have only been ten years old, but she has known you her whole life. whether it was in the classroom or in her house, you were around. almost every day, your mothers would have breakfast or tea together, and you joined whenever you were free. she did not know much about mates yet other than what she learned from her parents. from eavesdropping on your mothers, when she should not have, pril knew that you and ao’nung were going to be mates too.

she could tell something was wrong, especially when pril realised that you and ao’nung were both sad.

“yes, ma paskalin?” you fretted instinctively. “is everything alright?”

“you don’t smile as much as you used to.”

“i’m smiling at you right now, ma paskalin!” you chuckled. it was easy to forget that pril was no longer a baby who could not form her own thoughts, but you could not deny her words made you nervous. you taught your classes without a hiccup or stumble, thinking the children would not see past your mask.

you thought that you hid your broken heart well.

“that’s only because you have to,” pril shrugged. “ao’nung does not smile like he used to either.”

“maybe your brother is just tired from his duties, ma paskalin,” you soothed, tucking a braid behind her ear. “he is busy becoming our next chief.”

“i heard mama and reya say his heart is broken,” pril said innocently. “but i don’t know how you can break a heart if it’s inside of your body.”

you felt guilty hearing her words, knowing that you had a part to play in his misery just as he did in yours, but you refused to let it show on your face.

“i have to go, mama will be looking for me,” she spoke before you could reply. “i’ll see you tomorrow, ma karyu!”

pril’s words stuck with you for the rest of the day.

during your hunt with the teenagers, her voice echoed in your mind, and you hated it. in fact, you kept all of your conversations over the past week lighthearted and only stuck to surface level topics to prevent this from happening. there was too much on your heart and mind that you had not spoken to anyone outside of your family or students, but yiren and pril got to you. their words made the dull ache in your chest feel heavier than it did the past few days, almost like it was begging to be heard.

you should not have gotten comfortable.

you also should not have assumed that kotxa and lei’ara’s truce would last longer than a few days.

to be fair, the boy had every right to be angry. kotxa spent the whole class watching lei’ara help ayvon, one of the other boys in the group. you found it strange, seeing as ayvon showed himself to be well capable in all your lessons, but you did not say anything. kotxa kept to himself during the hunt, seemingly unaffected, but you should have known better. he eventually snapped when ayvon blocked his shot, and took the hammerbrow that kotxa was hunting.

by the time the group returned to the beach, it was a full blown fistfight. kotxa threw the first and second punch, then ayvon threw the third.

“you’re a fucking asshole, man,” ayvon wiped blood from his lip.

“takes one to know one,” kotxa taunted the other boy.

some of the boys’ friends tried to pull them apart, but they were much stronger and too angry at each other to care.

“kotxa! ayvon!” you were shouting as you broke through the crowd gathered around them. “that is enough!”

lei’ara was the only one that heard you.

“ma karyu, just let them just kill each other,” she said, rolling her eyes at the scene. “at least then we’ll have two less stupid boys in the world.”

“lei’ara, i cannot just stand here and allow this,” you tried to keep a serious tone despite finding her comment amusing. “how did this happen?”

“kotxa yelled something about ayvon breaking bro code,” the girl snorted. “and now, they’re there.” she gestured half heartedly to the boys rolling around with each other.

shaking your head in disbelief, you took a step forward to finally intervene, but an arm blocked you from going further.

your gaze wandered up the arm of familiar tattoos, and landed on ao’nung who looked every bit the chief he was raised to be. you nearly kicked yourself for letting his mere presence stun you, but it had been more than two weeks since you saw him so close.

he looked as sad as pril said.

you did not know that ao’nung saw you even when he was still in the water. if he was being honest, ao’nung had no idea what to expect when he left his friends at the cove. he only had thoughts of getting to you on his mind. neteyam’s advice made ao’nung realise that he would never know your true feelings for him as long as you never knew his.

when he came closer to the beach, ao’nung saw you surrounded by a group of rowdy teenagers. upon closer inspection, you were actually shouting at two of them who were punching each other on the sand.

eywa, what the fuck were you teaching in these classes?

once he made it close enough, he instantly saw how you were about to put yourself in between the boys’ fight. the possible risk of you getting punched in the process led to ao’nung moving on instinct, and using his body to shield you. he took another step forward while his eyes stayed on the wrestling teenagers.

“boys, i believe ngeyä karyu said that is enough.”

your trance on his face only broke when ao’nung’s voice boomed over the crowd of students. the hard lines of his face and the crease in his forehead were enough to make a seasoned soldier cower, let alone a seventeen year old. at the sight of him towering over them, all of your students scattered with mumbled apologies and respective bows towards the chief’s son.

the way he commanded attention so easily was not lost on you.

ayvon snarled at kotxa one last time before listening to ao’nung’s orders, and the boy stomped away behind his friends. before kotxa even thought about going after him, you stepped around ao’nung and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“kotxa,” you attempted to pacify him. “it is not worth it.”

“you wouldn’t get it,” he scoffed at you. “ayvon’s a dickhead.”

“watch your mouth, boy.”

you rolled your eyes at ao’nung’s sudden tough act.

ao’nung did not mean to step in, but he also did not appreciate the boy’s language whilst speaking to you. he recognised kotxa as one of the older warriors’ son. ao’nung would have no problem mentioning kotxa’s bad language in the presence of his teacher to his father at their next meeting.

he swiftly bowed towards you apologetically, but it was easy to detect the hurt in kotxa’s eyes when he looked up. he unconsciously glanced at lei’ara’s lingering figure, and you knew that the boy just needed someone to see through him.

“do not mind him,” you ignored ao’nung and patted the younger boy on the shoulder. “maybe i wouldn’t get it, kotxa, but lei’ara is waiting for you. she did not leave with ayvon.”

kotxa’s jaw slackened as he met your eyes, understanding what you were trying to imply. you only gave him a sly wink in return, and called the girl over.

“lei’ara, please take kotxa to the healers,” you asked politely. “i will see you both for our lesson tomorrow.”

she nodded obediently, and the two of them quickly bid you and ao’nung farewell before lei’ara shoved kotxa along. you watched in amusement as you heard the girl nagging him for getting into trouble, and observed how kotxa happily accepted all of her scolding in silence.

with the beach empty, you were officially alone with ao’nung.

he felt weak in your presence. you had not even looked at him, but seeing you so near was causing ao’nung physical pain. to anyone else who did not know you, you might have looked completely fine, but ao’nung saw through it all. your posture was rigid, your ears stood up as if on high alert, and you moved as if you could feel him watching you. ao’nung wanted to step closer, but he had a feeling it would only push you further from him so he stood still.

you did not speak a word as you began to gather the hunting equipment that your students left behind.

“why are you avoiding me?”

without looking up, you answered smoothly.

“i am not avoiding you.”

“if you are not avoiding me, then why have i not seen you at all since i came back?”

ao’nung did not want to assume that you would miss him as much as he missed you, but he hoped that you would have at least felt his absence. it was a silly fantasy that ao’nung had, praying to the great mother that distance would make your heart would grow fonder of him.

you were still avoiding eye contact, busying yourself with the nets and spears you used during your lesson. usually this would be a mindless task, but having ao’nung hovering over you made it slightly more difficult.

“we are both busy people,” you retaliated lightly. “this is not as absurd as you are making it out to be, ao’nung.”

“ma sevin.”

“stop calling me that.”

ao’nung was frustrated by the evident way you spoke so calculatedly. hearing you say his name as a way to show you were keeping him at arms length was frustrating. you made it clear through a few words that you planned for everything to work in your favour alone. you wanted this conversation to happen under your terms and while you were a mastermind at work, ao’nung planned to thwart your efforts of keeping control.

“ma sevin, can you please look at me?”

just as it did earlier, his voice commanded your attention.

though you wanted to ignore him, your eyes briefly met his. the teal of his eyes were full of curiosity, and something else you could not name.

“why are you avoiding me?” ao’nung repeated his earlier question. when you did not reply, he hesitantly added, “is… is it because of du’onro?”

without a second thought, you slapped him across the face.

your self control and patience only went so far, and you let yourself explode. his mention of tu’amro reminded you too much of zamrey insinuating that you were a snake who went around with different men behind his back. whilst you were not mated yet, you held enough respect for ao’nung and your arrangement to not even consider other men. you would be damned if you were to allow either of them speak to you in that manner. they deserved each other if they both thought this way about you. breathing heavily, your eyes widened as you realised what you had done.

across from you, ao’nung could feel his cheek throbbing.

“you slapped me!”

“because you do not get to ask me about who i keep in my company, ao’nung,” you hissed. “i certainly do not ask you.”

“i can’t believe you slapped me!” he childishly exclaimed again. “i was only asking!”

“we are not each other’s keepers,” you threw the spear you were holding into the sand. “we are both adults who can spend time with whoever we wish.”

“okay, fine. you’re right, ma sevin,” ao’nung agreed. “but i want to know why you suddenly do not wish to spend time with me.”

you were struggling to hold back from speaking your mind. you wanted to lash out at him. you wanted to tell him why you felt so irritated with him. you wanted to scream at him for being so stupid. you wanted to confess that you did want to spend time with ao’nung. all of the words were on the tip of your tongue.

“because you vex me!”

“i vex you?” ao’nung did not mean to yell the question. “do you really think that you do not vex me? with all your running away?

“hm? but what do i have to run from, ao’nung?” you countered dismissively, bending down to pick up an arrow.

“you’re scared of something real happening between us.”

ao’nung might as well have physically slapped you back, and it would have hurt less than his bold statement. you hated that he was able to see right through you. whatever messy feelings you felt for him were not even real to you until you saw zamrey in his arms almost a week ago. avoiding him was the best thing you could do to protect yourself from facing the truth.

“i simply do not wish to be humiliated by you any further.”

“humiliated by me?”

the both of you were going around in circles. ao’nung had no idea what you were even talking about. he tried to remember anything he recently did to embarrass you and came up with nothing. he was incredibly pleased that the two of you were actually speaking now, but this was not what he expected. at this point, neither of you were going to get any proper answers if all you did was continue to speak in riddles.

“if you want to speak to the elders to change our arrangement, then please just do so,” you sighed defeatedly. “i will not stand being your second choice.”

“what do you mean by ‘second choice’?” nothing you said was making sense anymore, but ao’nung saw how your words were tumbling out of your mouth like water breaking through a dam.

“you should know exactly what i mean, ao’nung!” you turned and angrily jabbed him in the chest. “that woman has been nothing but awful towards me, and you still kissed her!”

ao’nung knew he had a track record of being stupid, but this topped everything else he had ever done in his life.

he was stupid for not realising what you were trying to say until now. you wanted him to end your mating arrangement. you did not want to be his second choice. you were the person he heard outside his marui. you saw him the night zamrey kissed him.

his mind focused on the admission that you sought him out the day he came back from the ta’unui clan.

ao’nung deduced that you must have not intended to reveal that you witnessed the kiss. with the way you looked at him with wide eyes and took a small step back after your outburst, ao’nung could tell that you had meant to keep it to yourself. you quickly dropped the weapons you were holding, and began walking away with your tail giving away your distress.

you did not have to deal with this confrontation if you did not want to, but ao’nung was not going to let you go so easily.

“sevin, listen to me,” ao’nung was well aware of how desperate he sounded and looked, but he did not give a fuck. “i pushed her away as soon as it happened! you have to believe me.”

“i actually do not have to believe anything, ao’nung!” you called behind your shoulder. “it does not matter to me what you do with other women, but i want no part in it.”

“zamrey came onto me, and i pushed her away. i swear to you, sevin. i would never touch her,” ao’nung was beginning to panic seeing you shake your head in disbelief. “i do not want her.”

he had no desire to speak to zamrey since the night she called you a bitch, much less kiss the girl. when she came unannounced to his marui, ao’nung immediately asked her to leave, but she managed to plant one on him as he was directing her towards the door. it lasted less than a second because ao’nung shoved her away from him, and told her that he never wanted to see her face again.

everything he had already said to you was true, but you were more stubborn than all the women in his family combined. you continued walking away from him, and ao’nung knew he had to say something to make you understand.

“oel ngati kameie.”

you slowed in your tracks, your ears flattening against your head at ao’nung’s vulnerable confession. the words he said were not to be taken lightly, and despite your prior hurt and anger, you found yourself softening. ao’nung took your slight pause as a chance to run in front of you, and block your path.

still, you kept your hands to your sides and you forced yourself to study the sand beneath you. ao’nung’s voice was still ringing in your mind, and you knew he would not say them if he did not mean it. you could not deny that your curiosity was piqued. your eyes slowly trailed up his frame, and landed on his fingers clumsily fussing over the pouch hanging on his hip.

in his state of panic, since he did not want you to walk away again, ao’nung was struggling to both breathe and unfasten the small bag at the same time. when ao’nung finally untied it, he let its contents fall into his palm.

it was breathtaking.

the pearl looked almost like the blue of the sky peeking through a white cloud, or like the blue of sea foam when it crashes against a rock. it was one of the reasons why you loved the colour so much. it always reminded you of the great mother’s creations all being connected to each other.

the shape of it was different too. smooth, but not round. not too small, not too big. it fell flat on his palm. you could only imagine how pretty it would look falling in between someone’s collarbones. it reminded you that flawlessness did not always mean something would be beautiful.

the cord that held the pendant was delicate, but strong. it was obvious that whoever made it did not have all the skills to make it flawless, yet you could see the intention behind it. there were similarities to metkayinan jewellery, though there were indicators that it was of another clan.

it was imperfectly perfect as it was.

“look at me.”

your eyes snapped up from the pearl necklace that glinted in the sunset’s warm light. you were met by ao’nung’s eyes shining with unshed tears.

you two spent your whole lives together, but this was the first time you ever saw ao’nung show this kind of honesty. you knew that he was the type of guy who always put others before him, and when he wanted something for himself, he never said it outright for fear of asking too much. ao'nung often played the role of the jokester, the role of the chief's son, or any role that was expected of the future olo'eyktan. seeing ao'nung bare his heart to you now was enough to make your own heart crack in your chest. you felt your own eyes beginning to water, and closed them so he would not see.

gently, ao'nung leaned his forehead on yours, closing his own eyes. matching your deep breaths, he slowly felt how your body relaxed and leaned into him too.

“ma sevin,” he spoke softly. “i only want you.”

at last, you opened your eyes.

you understood the weight of his words, the warmth of his touch, the meaning of the necklace in his palm. you understood that as the waves crashed against the rocks and sand, and as the sky changed from orange to purple, ao’nung kept his eyes locked on yours.

ao'nung looked at you like he could not see anything else that eywa created, and you believed him with all your heart.

⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄ ⋆.𓆝.ೃ࿔ ݁𓆟:･𓆞༄

“i’ve been looking everywhere for this!”

your mother held up the reddish brown basket for her friend to see.

“oh! that is why it looked so familiar," ronal replied as she prepared tea. "i thought it might have been yours, or your mother's."

"did i forget it here this whole time?" your mother frowned as she set it down beside her. she had plenty of baskets to choose from, but she had not seen this particular one in weeks.

"ma 'eylan, we truly are getting old!" the tsahìk chuckled. "ao’nung gave it to me thinking that i left food in his marui when he returned from the ta'anui."

ronal was thankful that her dearest friend had the foresight of feeding her son upon his return from his travels.

"i give you my thanks for thinking of my son when i did not.”

“but ronal,” your mother responded to her friend wearily. “it was not me who brought ao'nung food that night.”

"if it was not you," ronal tilted her head in confusion. "then who did?"

the two women sat in silence with their tea for a few moments, before your mother gasped in realisation. ronal was used to her friend's dramatics, but she was guilty of equally matching them. it was why they remained such good friends after all these years.

"what do you know?" ronal gasped, and pointed accusingly.

"you are not going to believe me, ma 'eylan."

~~~~~