aestheticish

I wonder if you remember where my secret freckles are that no one but you should know.

I wonder if you remember how good it was at the beginning. Before we complicated things. When we both had idle days to spend wrapped up in each other in your bed for hours. Making your new place a home. Making love on and off. Laughing. Staring at each other. Me tracing the freckles on your face and touching your soft lips before they came to rest on my neck, hot breath sending shivers down my spine every time like it was the first. Making dinner together and mid-way through stopping to embrace or fuck because we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves. Talking about things from our past that we didn’t like to discuss with anyone else. Missing each other so much we called every break, every chance we had. I’m sorry I fucked things up because I have issues. It could be that again if you only let it. But you shut yourself off at the first inconvenience. And I know that’s just you. And I’d take it any day over any moment without you, happy or not. Booze are just a coping mechanism to get through another day without you. To live another day because I know you wanted me to be better. For myself and for us. I’ll always remember you that way. Us that way. And I will love you forever. No matter what. No one can take that place. I’m yours forever.