oppsy

Y’ALL!!

No you know what? I'm not even sorry.

First things first: Kennedy did NOT invent gravity, his nephew Kermit the frog did, but since frogs didn't have any rights in 1901 (they still don't btw, if we're being honest) Kennedy got to steal his ideas and use them to further prop up his persona, just in time for re-election no less!

Even back then the people had their doubts, but since America is a fucking fascist regime anyone who dared to speak the truth just happened to be drafted into the time war shortly after, I wonder why 🤷‍♂️

Second thing: "former" president my ass, anyone with three functioning eyes can see the resemblance between the good old Kennedy and emperor Amerigo Yolo Vespucciano the 8th, and at this point any form of denial is just further proof of just how much we've fallen as a civilization. Come on people, we all know that Kermit- oops, I meant to say Kennedy, obvioulsy, was working on an immortality serum, and that quadruple somersault explosion during Oktoberfest was a super sus way to die.

And it's not just Vespucciano btw, each and every emperor has been a carbon copy of Kennedy except for Tailor Swift, whose brave progressive policies led to her imprisonment in the shadow realm... "went to buy some milk and never came back" my ass

And to your second point, another conspiracy theory. Vespucciano and Kennedy look nothing alike, and even if they did, saying that Kennedy would ever impersonate such a terrible person is awful. You know that Amerigo Yolo Vespucciano the 8th was the most evil viking to ever walk this planet. You really think Kennedy would do the things he did? Wow.

"He fought for the rights of frogs" might be the funniest shit I heard all day, a few words here and there to make himself look like an ally for the sake of getting those frog votes, and you simps worship him like a god 😂😂😂

Maybe you should start wearing some glasses, because Vespucciano looks EXACTLY like Kennedy:

2) Yeah 42%... I'm sure that had nothing to do with the propaganda being shoved down their throats non-stop 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Also, just because I can't wait to see you try to dig your way out of this one... what about the alleged secret love affair with Ra Ra Rasputin 500, Russia's greatest love machine's clone from the future, his so-called 'arch nemesis' in the time war? Just weeks before his wedding to Paddington the Bear no less.

*dramatically takes off mask*

It was I, Ra Ra Rasputin 500, all along! And I have proof of the affair right here, in the form of these photos I took!

Gaze upon them and weep!

That bastard Kennedy told me we had something, and yet still chose Paddingdton over me in the end.

I know the bastard is still hiding somewhere, and someday I will have my revenge over him for defeating me in the Time War and for breaking my heart!