SugarSweet

Normally I’d just send you a link to A-Pinch-Of-Sugar-Please’s blog, buuut since she’s a psychotic bitch, I’d be happy to help you out.

BEFORE MEETING:

Invent fake facts about yourself. Create an email address specifically for sugaring and only email them there. Get the Google Voice App and create a phone number to text/call men from distinct from your own. Use a fake name for the first few dates. List the next town over as your location on your profile and never tell them the actual college that you go to — especially if it’s small! If they ask what your parents do for a living, make it up or be vague. Once you’re super comfortable with them, you can tell them “Oh my name’s actually Katherine, not Katelynn” or even give them your real phone number if you want to as I often snapchat with NASA. But he’s the only one of my SDs who knows it as Google Voice works flawlessly and the others don’t really need it. 

On an opposite note, get as many details as possible about him from him or through background searching. If he tells you he’s the CEO of Apple, go to Apple’s website and confirm that. Also, invest in a Spokeo Account. Don’t be that annoying SB who begs girls to look men up for her. A lot of girls only buy the monthly plan which has a search quota so if these girls are kindly looking men up for you, that’s less POTs they can search for themselves. I think it’s like $49.95 per year and it’s well worth the money for the amount of information it gives you. You can reverse search his phone number, email, name, etc. to find out his address, income, family members — anything! I love to find their children’s names then look them up on Facebook to see how they live. Riding horses on vacation in Santorini as your cover photo? Okay, I’ll break bread with your dad tomorrow. Little Ashley’s making duck faces and wearing Abercrombie? Sorry, John, I’m actually no longer searching for an SD — best of luck!

Get as many photos as possible (5+) from a man you’re talking to so that you can reverse search them and find out company info, criminal history, or if he’s on any other sites to cross-check age, location, and other facts on the profile you first saw him on.

Before a first meet, Skype with him (for 5 to 30 minutes) to again make sure the photos he sent are of him and not some handsome model on JCrew’s website (guys on SD4M do this all the time — you’re not slick)! While you don’t want the skype date to replace the first date, it is a good way to keep and/or build up his interest and by revealing yourself in 3D and decreasing his chances of cancelling/flaking on you. New SDs in particular often get nervous by the whole process, especially if they’re married, so if he sees “Wow! She’s gorgeous/real/funny/witty/ and excited to see me Thursday!” he’ll be more at ease not only to go through with the meet, but to spend more chedda. Moreover, a Skype date can show you “Wow! He’s an asshole and begging me to slide the camera down to my boobs.” So you can know way before you spend hours on hair and make-up that the date will be a waste.

NON RED-FLAGS:

Need for discretion. If a man doesn’t tell you much about himself, his job, or his life, is using a GV number or a fake email, is going by a fake name, it does not matter at all. 9 times out of 10 I show up to POT dates knowing the results of their latest colonoscopy while they think I don’t even know their name. Focus on the steps above and let them think they’re slicker than you. Nigerian Prince never told me his real name. I knew it from 5 seconds after he emailed me, but I played along and feigned ignorance because I knew he was safe and rich and whatever other secrets he kept from me were irrelevant. After our first date, he revealed his real career, location, (still not his real name) etc. and I’d already known it all, but, like us, he was simply wary of giving too much info to the wrong person. My favorite is when a guy emails you from his real email using a fake name. “Inbox: New Email from Steve Jobs” “Hey it’s Mike!” lmfao Hey Mike! Whatever makes you comfortable enough to meet me for dinner and pay me. All this being said, sometimes a man’s “need for discretion” makes it fucking impossible to find out anything from him. In that case, I say “While I respect your need for discretion, it does not trump my need for safety and I would not feel comfortable meeting you for dinner without…(at least a skype date)(as many photos as I’ve sent you)(information about XYZ)(etc.).” If he refuses to accommodate, he’s blatantly disrespectful of your safety concerns and he’s not worth your time.

RED-FLAGS:

Asks for sexy photos. You really need to make sure your profile photos are serve their purpose and depict what you look like from head to toe. If you only include iPhoto face shots, that’s dandy but you need a full body shot of you in a cute outfit and I also always include a bikini shot. Nothing raunchy, just a fun day at the beach. If they’re asking for sexy photos and you already have full body shots on your profile, then kindly end it because they’re 12 year old horn dogs stuck in 45 year old bodies. But if your photos suck and they just want to confirm that you’re not Shrek, then you need to amp up your profile and oblige.

Asks your favorite position, kinkiest moment, sex history, what you’re into etc. There’s no space for immature, tacky, desperate rapid fire sex questions in the sugar bowl. At its core, sugaring is about companionship, chemistry, and fun times. If he needs a rap sheet of what you will and will not do in the bed room, then he should call up a pimp and ask for a very specific hooker. Even if you tell him this and he apologizes and stops, you still know that that’s his main incentive for joining this site so he’s probably looking for pay for play but has too much pride to admit to wanting a prostitute. If you’re fine with 4 hours a month with this man for however much you agree on, then boom! You just landed on easy money. But if you’re looking strictly for a sugar arrangement with outings, dinners, etc. then you need to move on. But be mindful that a lot of these men might be into BDSM, so if they ask specifically if you have interest in that then that’s not necessarily a red flag so much as them not wanting to waste either of your time. If you do say yes, however, and he presses you with sex questions, he’s equally guilty of the above offense.

Sleezy username/bad grammar. If “Hotsex69” messages you, you already know what he’s there for. He’s not a sugar daddy. He’s blatantly looking for pay for play.

Takes offense to your precautions. A lot of men will quickly realize that you both have iPhones and that your messages aren’t coming up blue. If he questions it, let him know straight up, “I’m using an app called Google Voice so that I don’t have to share my real phone number with strangers. Once I’m comfortable enough with you, I will give you my real number and you can reach me there.” 99% of guys completely get it and think “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that. She’s smart and safe and not full of shit! I can tell a lot of guys have wasted her time and I don’t want to be one, so I better step it up if I ever want the honor of using iMessage with this hottie!” The other 1% will cry like little bitches and be like “We’ve hit it off thus far! Don’t you trust me?!?” If he honestly thinks trust can be fostered after a few email messages, he’ll be equally pissy when you don’t have sex on the first date or when you reject his marriage proposal on the second date.

Insists on meeting for just drinks. 10:00pm drinks at the hotel bar so you can get drunk and then go upstairs? Um no. In a fun way, tell him you’d rather meet for dinner at this great restaurant you’re dying to try yada yada. I had this one guy come back at me with “How about we start with drinks and if we hit it off, then we can get dinner?” Lmfao why?! I literally see no incentive to that besides wanting to roofie me. If you’re that awkward and can’t be around a younger, more attractive woman without drinking then let’s drink at dinner. Have 10 glasses of wine with your food. I don’t care. But if I’m getting dolled up, I’m eating food. You are not skimping out on buying me dinner and you are not roofie-ing me and you are not getting me drunk so you can drag me back to your lair. I do too much damn cardio to drink my calories. Buy me dinner, you fuck.

MEETING:

Meet in a public place and STAY in a public place. Stroll in Central Park? Awesome! He wants to wander past the “DO NOT ENTER” sign and show you this ‘amazing view of the river’? Nope. Restaurants, coffee, theater — doesn’t matter as long as you’re surrounded by witnesses.

Have your own transportation to AND from a first meet. And from. And. From. AND FROM!!! Not “Oh I took a taxi here, but let me save $10 and go home with him — he was so funny and obviously legitimate!” Even if that’s true and he’s a sweetie and who he says he is, these men never need to know where you live. (Notice I did not say never should know. Doctor knows where I live and that’s fine. But he doesn’t need to.) If you ultimately decide you’re comfortable with having an SD over at your apartment, then that will come after several dates, not the first. Plus, the chase is half the fun for him. Don’t reveal all of yourself too quickly. For this same reason, never get into his car on the first date. Besides just safety reasons, you don’t want him to feel like (physically and mentally) that he has you 100%. Leave something to be desired.

Tell someone where you are and who you’re going with. If you’re close with a friend or relative who is non-judgmental, make sure they know where your date is and when you’ll be back. Otherwise, find a resource on here (I’ll gladly help you out)and text them (from your GV number) where you are going, when you get there, when you leave, and when you are home. Whenever I get in an SDs car for the first time, I always text my sugar friends his license number.

Some SBs insist on staying sober. I like to drink and I can handle it, so I do. But definitely don’t get drunk. It’s sloppy and unattractive but will also distract you from your goal of setting an allowance/arrangement in place and getting to know this man better. Plus, it will impair your judgment and prevent you from remembering the rest of these safety tips.

NON-RED FLAGS:

Doesn’t bring a gift or cash to the first date. Stop being so entitled. At this point, he owes you just as much as you owe him — nothing.

The car he drives. The $3000 allowance of a man who drives an Aston Martin is just as green as that of the man who drives a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Offers you a ride there or back. He might genuinely want to save you the hassle of travelling. Most of these men are fathers and have that protective instinct. It’s 9pm, dark out, she’s waiting for a cab, this is nonsense, I’ll drive her. It’s not a redflag that he’s trying to be a gentleman, but either way, maintain your stance and politely decline.

Awkward behavior. Steve Jobs gave brilliant speeches, but outside of that, the dude was awkward as fuck. Nonetheless, he was richer than God. If a guy reaches to hold your hand on the first date and you don’t want him to, just say, “John, I’m having an absolute blast but I’m just not comfortable with that yet.” There’s no need to flip out and write a post saying OMG THIS GUY WAS SO CREEPY HE LIKE TRIED TO RAPE ME BLACKLIST!!!!! Doctor is the most awkward guy I’ve ever met in my entire life. Like him, many of these POTs were valedictorians of Harvard who went on to spend the next 8-12 years of their lives accumulating degrees in the dungeons of the Ivy Leagues. They lack sunlight and social skills. It’s okay. That doesn’t mean be wishy-washy when he tries to cop a feel. No. Be firm and put him in his place. If he makes you excessively uncomfortable, end the date and don’t pursue another. But if he stutters or can’t maintain eye contact or holds eye contact for too long or snorts or recites how beautiful you are or has a creepy smile, that doesn’t necessarily make him a potential serial killer.

RED FLAGS:

Talks about hotel time, private time, intimate time, ‘getting away’. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be no sex on the first date. There will be NO SEX on the first date. If he thinks dinner and a few hundred dollars gets you two “alone time” at the Ritz Carlton, then send him packing. Be blunt and embarrass that loser. Literally say, “John, I’ve had a blast getting to know you thus far but I have zero interest in trading sex for lobster and a gas money. I’m a lady who is looking for a gentleman with the means to provide for her and support her. If you’re only interested in sex in exchange for money, then you’re looking for an escort, not a sugar baby, and a second date would be a waste of both of our time.” Scare the shit out of him and make him realize just how crass and pathetic he’s being. You wear the pants. He’ll straighten up very quickly, or realize that you’re right and head down to the corner of main street instead.

Cringes at the bill or what you’re ordering. If he can’t afford lobster, desert, or how many drinks you’re getting, he can’t afford you. This is an absolute no brainer. Even if he says he can afford your $3000 monthly allowance, if it means he’s going without food, laundry, or anything else just to afford it for you now, there WILL come a later when he leaves you hanging. A real SD loves to treat you and doesn’t care if you buy the bar!

Switches stories. It’s one thing from initially stating he’s in finance to getting more specific about which sector or region he works in, but if yesterday he was CEO of Apple and today he’s a professor, he’s probably full of shit. Don’t be afraid to call him out on it. “I thought you said —-?” Learn the dynamics of body language and be able to discern when someone is lying or hiding key information from you. He could very well be the manager of the local K-Mart hoping to spend as many free dates with you as possible before you catch him in his lie.

Insists on anything. If he’s choosing your meal for you, forcing you to ride home with him, or backing you into a corner in any way, ditch him. If he’s that pushy on the first date, he’ll be even more pushy on the second or on the third because you let him win this time.

DATING:

Use a condom.

If you don’t use a condom, get tested regularly together and show each other the results.

RED FLAG 

Doesn’t meet allowance. If he owes you $500 per meet and misses a meet, he needs to bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. If it’s the end of the month and he shows up without allowance, he needs to send it to you/bring it to the next meet, or else he’s breaking the terms of the arrangement. Do not let him get comfortable and think of you as a friend or girlfriend. This is a SUGAR ARRANGEMENT. Do not let him treat you like something that you’re not and get sloppy with the reason why we’re here.

Wants to meet your family. Doctor still insists on introducing me to his sisters. Eck. Whatever. But he’s never meeting any of my family. I am not your girlfriend. This is not a relationship. We have no real future together. Read this haiku. It is the anthem of the bowl.

Insists on not using a condom, trying XYZ in bed that makes you uncomfortable. As always, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with and let them know. A real SD will put his desires aside for your safety and comcort. If he’s being pushy in bed or otherwise, he’s not there for your best interest.

NON-RED FLAG

Asks about your personal life. It’s not weird for a man to want to know what classes you’re taking or what’s new in your world. He’s not being creepy or nosy, he’s just curious about what makes you tick. He shouldn’t be prying into if you have a boyfriend or anything super specific, but don’t get weirded out if he asks a lot of things about you.

Asks for sexy pics or texts suggestively. After you’re intimate together, this really is fair game to ask. As always, you need not oblige, and if you do, play it safe and don’t include your face or use SnapChat. But just because he’s thinking of sex more doesn’t mean he’s still not invested in being a sugar daddy. If it makes you uncomfortable, say so. If he’s a true SD, he’ll respect your boundaries and get over it.

Is affectionate in public. Just because he likes to hold your hand and kiss you, doesn’t mean he’s thinking of you as a girlfriend and less of an SD and forgetting your arrangement. If PDA makes you uncomfortable and you need a bit more discretion, let him know. But just because he likes your soft skin doesn’t mean he’s going to propose and leave your arrangement in the dust. He might just like your soft skin.

Hates shopping. Not surprisingly, a lot of men hate shopping, especially for women or with women or in women’s stores. So just because he’s not buying you louboutins doesn’t mean he won’t give you the money to buy them yourself. 

IF YOU REMEMBER NOTHING ELSE, REMEMBER THIS:

Your token line is: “I’m not comfortable with that (yet).” Don’t be wishy-washy! If he wants to have sex and you lie and say “Oh uh I’m on my period” he’ll just ask again the next time. Instead, be honest and be firm saying you’re not comfortable with sex, riding in his car, his hand on your leg, meeting his mom, etc. etc. etc. Drop this line WHENEVER you need to say no. It sets the tone that you are the one who sets the boundaries of the relationship and that those boundaries will not be crossed. If a man ever persists against something you’ve blatantly stated makes you uncomfortable, then you know it’s time to end things.

|| all of these tips, are my tried and trues’ , although they may not work the same for you so tweak some details to your liking ||

✨ these are more pampering tips , that you’re welcome to do everyday because queens do what they want ✨

✅ i wrote this at 3Am so please bare with me through all the terrible grammar and spelling mistakes ✅

•DRINK PLENTY OF WATER•

😊 F A C E 😊

1.) Cleanse your skin with your favorite cleanser, use a electric face brush if available.

🐝 ( I use the H2O+ Dual Action Exfoliating Cleanser , & A Clarisonic. TJ Maxx has some cheaper alternatives!)

2.) Apply a toner.

🐝 ( Thayer’s Original Witch Hazel with Aloe Vera is sooo bomb)

\ apply face mask of choice and rinse when time is up. Tone Again.//

3.) •optional• Rub an Oxy Pad on any active breakouts.

4.) Spray Rose Water all over your face and neck.

🐝 ( TJ Maxx has the pearl essence Rose Water for around $6 us dollars )

5.) Apply Aloe Vera gel!

🐝( If you don’t have a aloe vera plant 🌱 around you , make sure when you buy Aloe Vera from the store that its clear, 100% av, and Alcohol Free.)

6.) Apply Facial Oils of your choosing + make sure you get your neck and chest! 🐝 ( I use tree tree oil and Palmers Skin Therapy Oil Face, HOLY GRAILS😩)

7.) finally apply your moisturizer,

🐝 ( usually during the day I’ll just spray more rose water , and at night I’ll apply the first aid beauty moisturizer VERY generously )

👅 B O D Y 👅: // Scrubs : ORGANIC VIRGIN Coconut Oil + Organic Brown Sugar 🔑 , 🐝( great all over body scrub, makes your legs super silky)

Lemon Juice + Honey + Turmeric + Organic Brown Sugar •optional• Almond Oil

🐝 ( WORKS LIKE A DREAM at lightening inner thighs and underarms over time , leave on for 20 minutes!)

Aloe Vera + Palmers Skin Therapy Oil Body + Organic Brown Sugar

🐝 ( I use this to get rid of in-grown hairs a couple days after shaving!) //

• adding a cup of apple cider vinegar to a shallow bath , enough to go right above your 🌺, balances your PH •

1.) Use a Scrub and exfoliate every inch of your body , avoiding your 🌺 you DO NOT wanna get sugar near her ladies.

2.) Rinse, and Use Aloe Vera to shave , EVERYWHERE . I haven’t had a bad reaction but please be careful 🤷🏽‍♀️

3.) Use A Body Brush with your FAVE body wash and scrub some more !

🐝 ( Dial Skin Therapy Replenishing body wash , Himalayan Pink Salt is 🔑🔑👅 )

4.) Get your hair wet with LUKEWARM water and condition your hair,

🐝 ( I don’t shampoo my hair, like ever , but if you do go ahead and add that to this step 😊 )

4.2) Rinse, Turn off the water and Apply A Hair Mask.

🐝 ( Any Shea Moisture masks are 💗😩)

5.) Now is time to take care of your 🌺 • you have already cleaned her up, just using water and your hands. • now apply aloe , coconut oil or olive oil {if your gonna be having sex after this STEER clear of the oils they disintegrate condoms , be safe ladies } and proceed to shave SIDEWAYS not up or down {trust me} to help prevent ingrown hairs.

🐝 ( I love mens razors to shave , but BIC has some great 5 blade razors that work awesome too .)

6.) turn the water back on and rinse the mask out of your hair and rinse your 🌺 once more, making sure you got a clean, stubble free , shave.

7.) • if you need to , take a SEPARATE razor and shave your legs , arms , underarms ect. •

8.) After you get out the shower , apply olive or coconut oil and Aloe to your 🌺 & the rest of your body while you’re still damp use a THICK moisturizer to lock all that in {again not on your 🌺, scented things can throw u wayy off } + any body oils you have .

🐝( I LIVE for the Palmers skin therapy oil for your body 💗 and the OGX extra creamy coconut miracle lotion is perfect and smells like a tropical DREAM ) 9.) Slather lotion and oil all over your feet and put some thick socks on, for BABY SOFT feet in a couple hours!

💇🏽 H A I R 💇🏽:

I don’t really have a list for hair care but I’ll give you a quick run down:

Apply coconut oil and aloe all throughout your hair and have someone braid it for you before you go to bed + afterwards put your bonnet on if u wear one.

You’ll wake up with silky soft hair & if you have curls {like yours truly } the braids will tame them some, but if you want them back like I always do, just spray them with some plain water.

good as new ❤️

I thought this was interesting and will definitely continue following this product until it’s finalized. I think it’s a wonderful idea and would be a great thing for women to invest in. Please watch the video below. 

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/ar-wear-confidence-protection-that-can-be-worn

Here’s information from the website and screenshots I have taken from the video:

AR Wear is a clothing line offering wearable protection against rape. Our goal is to offer a wide range of wearable items, which will include assorted types and styles of underwear, running shorts, traveling shorts, etc., suitable for different situations and the styles of individual users. The challenge was to design products that can be worn comfortably while still being able to frustrate an assault effectively. The garments must be very difficult for someone else to remove by either force or stealth (in situations where the victim cannot resist because she has had too much to drink, was drugged, or is asleep).

They need to be resistant to pulling, tearing and cutting while being comfortable to wear during normal activities and, as in the case of underwear, fit smoothly under form-fitting outer clothing.

Since we did not find a single material that fulfilled these requirements, our solution was to strengthen specific elements of our garments using an innovative skeletal structure which allows them to remain soft and ergonomic. The waist, thighs, and central panels are protected with specially designed, cut resistant straps and webbing. Once the waist girth has been adjusted and secured with its unique locking device, the garment cannot be pulled down. Since a female’s waist measurement is generally less than that of her pelvic area, the waist strap can be locked at a comfortable position and still prevent unwanted removal of the garment. The thigh straps, after an initial adjustment by the wearer, prevent the leg openings from being lifted or shifted to the sides by someone else. The center panels are connected to both the waist and thigh straps to create a unified protective skeletal structure.

The garment cannot be cut and is impossible to pull down.

Even though it is hard for someone else to pull off or cut the garment, it is very easy to put on and comfortable to wear. The user can adjust the thigh straps once putting on the garments and lock them in a comfortable place. 

The waist strap is similar, but has a special lock that can only be opened using clock hand positions which are easy for the user to remember.

The underwear fits perfectly under clothes and comfortable to wear.

It sounds really boring. So boring in fact that your message is only a word or two different from the generic statement that SA attaches to “winks.” Since joining SA I’ve easily sent over 300 spam messages to POTs yet I’ve only been called out with “Is this a collect message?” or “Nice generic message” twice. If I ever sent out your version, I think that number would increase tenfold, or I’d simply be outright ignored. Likewise, whenever POTs send me messages like this, I know that they’re merely sending me an ounce more effort than a wink and are messaging 40 other women that same note.

Why I message

Realistically, everyone on these sites is talking with multiple people at once, but as humans we love to feel uniquely noticed. So the two key things I try to remember for an initial spam message are to stroke the ego and elicit interest. You’re doing a really great job with taking initiative but now it’s time to crank up your messages and get the responses you want and deserve, girl!

Think of an initial message like a voicemail. If you get a voicemail saying, “Hey it’s Andy. Call me back.” You’ll be like what does this bitch want? If you get a voicemail saying, “Hey, gorgeous. It’s Andy! Haven’t heard from you in a while. I have the FUNNIEST story to tell you. You’re gonna die. Call me back some time tonight before 10pm or else I’ll be asleep. Can’t wait to hear from you. Bye!” What are the key differences here? The first one lacks motive or reason and has no sense of urgency. You have no idea why Andy called or what he wants. Consequently, it’s not enticing and it’ll either take you hours/days to call Andy back or you’ll text him and say “Hey got your voicemail. What’s up?” You never want a POT to have to ‘What’s Up’ (aka wtf do you want) you! When people write on their profiles “Not a fan of endless emails/texting” THIS IS WHY. Make your point and make sure your point is a good one! The second voicemail not only makes the point but it leaves the receiver begging for more. What’s Andy’s story? I’ve got to hear it! I might even walk out in the middle of class just to call Andy back and hear what he has to say. This is the difference between a green check next to ‘sent messages’ and an inbox full of responses.

When I Message

On SA, there’s a daily quota of how many messages you can send so choose wisely! Winks are unlimited per day, but as I mentioned above, they are the crutch of the lazy and unimaginative. Your words carry much more clout! Rather than wasting messages on men who are too cheap/indecisive to pay for a premium membership, always make sure that the yellow “Premium” is highlighted on the banner on his profile. This way he can actually see, read, and respond to your messages!

How I Message

This might go without saying, but don’t waste your time reaching out to splenda, salt, and meatsuits. Just because BigDickDaddy69 lives 10 minutes away from you and has a million dollar income doesn’t mean meeting with him will be worth your time (but if you want a free dinner, go for it girl!). READ THEIR PROFILES. Ctrl + F for “sex”, “kinky”, “stamina”, and other TRIGGER WARNING: TACKY AS FUCK words. If he’s in the clear, move on to extracting tidbits about him that you find interesting – his career, places he’s visited, sports he’s into, activities he loves, etc. Ctrl + T his profile in a tab right next to the message you’re writing for him so that you can refer back to it quickly if need be (I say this because Doctor is technologically challenged and idk you might be too lol). While spamming out your daily email quota should not take more than 30-60 minutes and you are not here to write each individual man an ode, you do want to have some specifics.

 Who I message

Assuming I’ve found a premium member who is not a meatsuit, there are two categories that he’ll fall in: Silent Sam and Fun Freddy.

A: Silent Sam is the standard SA user who, for reasons of extreme discretion, novice sugar profile experience, weak self-selling game, or all three, lacks a well-defined profile. His About Me and About You are brief and vague with phrases like “let’s talk”, “message me for more”, “Handsome, fit, gentleman seeks SB”, “looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement” or other NO DUH type shit. He may have little to no photos, or, worse, have several tailored-suit or beach bod selfie shots thinking that his looks speak for him. He is probably using a vague username like “NYCbanker” or a fake name like “Mike.” Although his hazy wants and needs are frustrating, he is not to be discounted for reasons such as his high income/net worth, high allowance (or it may be open/negotiable but his income is high enough), handsome photos, or ideal location. Thus, I conclude that Silent Sam has the potential to be a good SD and simply needs me to extract this from him.

B: Fun Freddy, unlike Silent Sam, details his love of Russian ballet and need for an SB who shares it at length on his profile. Indeed, his wants, needs, hobbies, etc. are described explicitly on his About Me and About You which are each a solid one or two paragraphs at least. He may have several photos, or still have little to none for needs of discretion or otherwise. Like Silent Sam, his income/net worth, allowance, and location work well for you but he has a leg up on Sam in that his personality and ideal arrangement align with yours as well.

What I message

(I’ve italicized the template and the rest is just content I scraped from his profile)

Subject: Hey there, (Sam/handsome/nothing if he has no name or photos)! :)

Body: SO jealous that you live in Neptune! It’s a mere four planets away from me so I drive out often for the amazing rock climbing scene. Do you dabble in that at all? Unfortunately there’s not much of that on Earth where I’m from but it’s probably my favorite hobby. Have you ever been to Earth before? As a Management Consultant, I’m sure that you travel to several fun planets and I can tell there’s a ton I’d love to pick your brain about as I too enjoy sight-seeing in various corners of our galaxy. I’ve enjoyed your profile thus far and would love to hear a bit more about you and your ideal arrangement sometime soon.

Cheers,

Kelly Clarkson

^ Silent Sam is more time-consuming to message because you have to pull teeth to fatten up your template. You can’t spew generic compliments like “You’re so handsome!” or “You seem like a fun, active guy” when you have no idea about either. You must rely a bit more on speculation. But this message does a great job of inserting yourself into the narrative of his life. Now he knows that you’re available to meet for coffee in Neptune often. He knows you love to travel and he doesn’t have to feel shy about asking you to join him on his bi-weekly business trips to Pluto. You also shoot him a few questions highlighting your interest in his life and give him action-steps (tell me more about yourself and your arrangement) to steer the conversation where you want to go and to give HIM a template for how to respond. Nothing worse than a message from a guy that says “How are you?” right? Ugh! This makes YOU have to do all of the guesswork. Don’t be that guy. Save your busy CEO the trouble and give him three or four key points to come back at you with, which will be helpful as you’re trying to learn more about him in spite of his blank ass profile. Ultimately, this message shows that you’re impressed with him all off of a few words that he wrote down – what an incentive to divulge more!

 Subject: Hey there, (Fred/handsome/nothing if he has no name or photos)! :)

Body: I couldn’t help but gush over your profile! Not only are your photos absolutely scrumptious, but you write so eloquently! It’s evident that you are an intelligent, successful, well-traveled gentleman who knows how to have a lot of fun. We definitely share a lot of values and passions in common. I LOVE that you’re a veterinarian – I have two puppies myself. What made you want to study that line of medicine?Your photo line-dancing was very handsome! Have you ever tried salsa before? If not, I’ll simply have to teach you as it is my favorite form of dance :) You seem like you’d be an absolute blast to spend time with and I’d love the chance to find that out for myself. Can’t wait to hear more about you and your ideal arrangement soon!

 Xoxo,

Beyonce

^ This dude could be the most boring guy in the world but I’m still gonna what? Stroke that ego! I act like his profile blew me away. Best I’ve read since I joined the site. He worked really hard to craft those paragraphs so I reward him accordingly. As Drake says, “I’m telling every girl she’s the one for me, when I ain’t even planning to call.” Make him think that you think that he is the shit! You might be wary of doing so because then he’ll think you’re puddy in his hands, but it really has the opposite effect. These men get dozens of messages that commit the below-mentioned offenses (or are boring like yours lol) and to read from someone passionate, exciting, and lively is a breath of fresh air. Remember the voicemail thing. If you have ten “Hey call me back” voicemails and one enthusiastic, inquiring, fun voicemail, who are you going to call back first? The more interest I show in him, the happier and more inclined to learn about me he will be. Moreover, just like your message to Silent Sam, you’re seeking to insert yourself in the narrative of his life by allowing him to envision you two salsa dancing together. Once you plant this image in his mind, he’ll simply have to make it a reality!

AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS NOT THE TIME FOR

1. Rapid-fire interrogation into his merits as an SD OR to bring up how much allowance I want.

“Hey there, John! I’ve loved your profile. So tell me, what brings you to SA rather than a more traditional site such as eHarmony? Have you ever been a sugar daddy before? If so how much allowance did she get? And why did it end? Can’t wait to hear back from you!”

^Hey there, SB, you’re hot. Why are you on SA? Do you like older men a lot? The harrier the better? How many older men have you been with? Did you let them do anal? How deep? ………………..Are you uncomfortable yet? This neither strokes the ego nor elicits interest. Instead, I pocket these key questions for the next message or two. Like real dating, sugar dating is about a personality match initially so I start off seeing what we have in common and then (soon, don’t wait forever) move on to see if our arrangement expectations align. As so many SBs say, treat him like a person, not an ATM.

2. Regurgitating my entire profile.

“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student at University of Tampa who is majoring in psychology. I love to dance, travel, and play with my cats. I keep in shape by running four miles a day and I’m training for my first marathon coming up this summer. Blah. Blah. Blah. Copy and paste from my profile.”

^After a guy reads my message, he will immediately go to your profile to learn more about me. So let’s give him more to learn! Don’t just say everything you’ve already said before. Your profile should do the telling and your message should do the showing. If you say you’re fun, flexible and like to travel – show it! This probably won’t elicit interest since it’s not anything he couldn’t find from just reading your profile. And it certainly doesn’t do anything to stroke the ego since it’s all about you.

3. Ultimatums.

“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student who is looking for a man to spend time with two to three times a month for wining & dining, enriching experiences, and a mutual beneficial arrangement with, on my part, a monthly allowance of $5000. Is that YOU? :)” ^ It can be tempting to send the latter message because it seemingly weeds out guys who aren’t what I’m looking for, right? Especially since guys send us these messages all the time a la, “I’m not looking to waste either of our time so here’s what I want yada yada yada.” Well these type of gun to the head messages are a big turn-off to a lot of people (especially shy newbies like Silent Sam); it’s better to start light and then delve into what you’re looking for a message or two later. While this message may elicit some interest, if anything, it hurts the ego by measuring this man against my standards right off the bat. Don’t be a salt baby. Don’t make it “Are you good enough for me? Why should I choose you?” But instead “are we good enough for eachother?” (at least not to his face)

4. SA winks and literal winks “;)” as they are universally tacky and creepy lol.

RECAP, AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS THE TIME TO:

(1) Reveal specifically what I find appealing about a man.

(2) Reveal my fun personality to this man.

(3) Enable him to envision the exponential surge in his quality of life with me as his SB.

Sugar Daddie BlackList

^ Found this gem while researching a phone number. This is why I fucking love sugar babies. Thank you for always sharing your bad experiences and cleaning up the bowl for the rest of us!

Hello Y’all, Had a good day today (shopping!) so I decided to give you some tips on profile writing.

English is not my first language, hence I will not give you much ‘technical’ tips, but I’ll focus more on the content of your profile. 

The obvious

1. On SA there is a section “about me” and “what I’m looking for” -or something along those lines. Make sure that what you write under those headings is relevant. I see way too many saying under ‘what I’m looking for” ; ‘see the above’… there is a reason why SA has two headings. 

2. Write coherent and with correct grammar (no slang). If English is not your first language, check it multiple times and maybe just sleep and re-read it the day after. Using correct and appropriate language directly sets a more intelligent tone. 

Although I first didn’t want to include the above point, until I saw this profile: I’m fabulous…I’m an incredible dresser, I’ve got buckets of sexiness, I’m a hoot and a half and I got a killer……… lol I love to laugh & smile, A sassy socialista well known for her silver tongue. Oh & the genius behind, I’m a Straight Talkin’, Fun Lovin’, Ass Kickin’, Inspirin’ COACHin’ Chic, Conductin the 2 Thumbs Up POSSIBILITY Band! LIFE OF THIS PARTY…and yh, the obvious….. i love “it”!..YOU KNOW WHAT INNIT?. I’m really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice. enough about me there!

(sorry if you are on tumblr, again these are just my opinions)

3. Write more than a paragraph. It is not inviting to say: If you want to find out more about me; just send an e-mail :). I saw this waaay to many times. Firstly if you don’t take time to write a decent profile, why should a guy bother to e-mail you? And secondly why would the guy e-mail you if he has no idea what you are all about? 

4. Don’t use the same word over and over again. Try to use specific vocabulary. Inspired by this profile: 

I am a very educated and very beautiful ebony princess.i have a very fit body and boundless energy.love fine dining,dancing,movies.i have some very unique ideas on how to have a great relationship with my daddie

very very nice, not? 

5. DON’T, absolute don’t use words such as ‘spoiling’ and ‘princess’ etc. it’s just a huge turn-off. 

My tips on writing a good profile

1. Be specific about yourself. I see way too many profiles saying “I love fine dining, shopping, travelling, cooking, masturbating, excersising”. OK, the masturbation was a joke, but you get what I mean right? A lot of girls put what they like without elaborating on it. A small explanation will better convey your personality than listing. It’s better to write about one thing in detail, than listing 10 things. 

Example. Travelling has always been a huge passion and a natural part of my life. When I was younger I developed a great interest in learning about people’s habits and language, since it’s truly fascinating to learn about other cultures. My favorite country is Thailand, I fell in love with the perfect beaches and the friendly people.. and would of course love to return some time ;) 

A profile should be about YOU, not what you want to do with your sugar daddy, or what you have on your shopping list. Write what you like, what you like to do what your future plan is. 

Topics to write about 

Education. Ladies, if you are studying; mention what you study and why you have chosen it/why you like it. 

Travel. Be specific, what countries do you like, or what countries would you like to visit. 

Music/Art/Drama. A lot of wealthy men love the arts. Do you dance? Great! Mention what style. Do you paint/draw/etc? Awesome! Write what art genre you love, and what your inspirations are. 

Future. What are your ambitions? SD’s love passionate Sugar babbies. Tell about your role models/inspirations as well. 

Any other hobby/important event in your life that reflects who you are.

BE UNIQUE!

2. Write three paragraphs on three different subjects each. Don’t put one big chunk of text, this doesn’t invite someone to read it. Mine is structured as; background, education, traveling. 

3. Don’t say anything negative about yourself. Not even if you want to make a joke that you are not such a good cook. You never now how a potential sugar daddy may intepret this, nor do you know if he gets the joke. 

4. Don’t be afraid to show your personality. Don’t think that you will attract more men by keeping your profile generic. You can never make EVERYONE like you. Therefore there will always be men who will like your profile and men who won’t like you. 

On ‘what I’m looking for’ 

1. Be honest. Say what you are looking for in a subtle manner. However exclude saying things such as; I’m a virgin or I’m looking for X $ a month. Don’t talk sex, don’t talk money. Just honestly say how you would imagine a perfect arrangement. 

Again be specific. Don’t list! 

Don’t: We could go together for dinner, cinema, spa, holiday, cooking, clubbing

Do: In a perfect arrangement we would do things together that we both enjoy. I love to go fine dining, and am a huge fan of the Italian cuisine, while at the same time I really like to explore local restaurants as well. For some change I always enjoy going to the beach and having an early lunch near the sea. 

2. Don’t be too demanding, and don’t be negative. Know what to include and exclude

I know you are looking for a men that will respect your time/body/ whatever, but what is the use of mentioning that? Unrespectful men will not be scared away by that. Similarly don’t begin with “Only wealthy men please!” this has the same effect as when men say “Only attractive people please!” it’s really inappropriate. Just don’t say any negative conditions. However you can say that for example you are only looking for an SD under 50 (if you definitely have an age limit). Just make it subtle. 

3. Use correct pronouns

Don’t; I would love to go with my SD on short trips during the weekend

Do: I would love to go with you on short trips during the weekend

I think that was it for now. I’ll probably edit it or post a part two, since I have so many more tips! But now I’m tired from typing ;) 

THESE ARE MY VIEWS! THIS IS NOT OBJECTIVE FACTUAL INFORMATION. Take from it what you like :)

I’ve been getting a lot of the same types of messages and questions lately so I thought I’d just make a post dedicated to my own personal trips, tricks and any advice I could give anyone looking to be a better baby. I do not by any means think I am a senior sugar baby, but I do know enough to get me by.

1) Join as MANY sugaring sites as you can! The more you join, the more opportunities you gain. 

- seekingarrangement.com | sugardaddie.com | sugardaddyforme.com | ashleymadison.com | misstravel.com (those are the main sites I use)

2) Be to the point and clearly state what you want, sugaring is black and white. If you play email tag for awhile, then it’s a clear sign they are salts. In my experience, if a possible SD is serious about starting an arrangement, then HE WILL make it happen within the first two messages. I know this is a pretty brutal method, but when someone messages me, I tell them what I want as my allowance and how often I am willing to see them. And YES, platonic SD/SB relationships can happen, I just don’t have the patience to wait around for one. 

3) STICK TO YOUR GUNS, don’t let a POT try and wiggle your asking allowance down or your terms. They are at YOUR mercy. I think you will find you will get way more respect if you show you know what you want.

“Its my pussy I do what I want” LOL sorry I had too.

If they say no, then give ZERO fucks and move on, plenty of other men to talk to.

4) When sending messages, if you do that, (I don’t, just cause I’m weird) make them personal, I really don’t agree with the whole “spam” concept some girls talk about. I just can’t see how you can be successful if you treat everyone the same. In the select times I did send messages, I always made them personal and actually read their profile and added some tid-bits that showed I actually read what they wrote. But whatever floats your boat.

5) When meeting POTS, meet at a public place. EX. Starbucks is my faavvvv. Love me some coffee. And if you can PLEASE try and tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting/any other personal info you may know about the POT. My best friend is my life saver and I feel 100% safer because she knows where I am, and checks up on me. She’s even gone with me on a couple POT meetings before and just shadowed. It really does make the world of difference. I do understand that not every baby can have someone like that in their life.. but hey, find another baby that you can trust! I just really think this is important. 

6) Don’t think you have to have the fanciest clothes, or the most expensive  purse to attract a good SD. I feel like the clothes and fancy items are more for our ego then theirs. It’s all about the confidence. Confidence is KEY. If you don’t have any, then pretend lol.

7) When asking for things you want, I’d say do it in person if you can. If not, then try and talk about it a little through text or email. And then bring it up again when you meet.

8) I know I’m jumping around, but profiles are REALLY important when trying to catch a SD’s eye. Work your best features in your pictures, like for me, my body as a whole is my most attractive attribute. Oh well and my hair(; lol 

Try and have a short and to the point bio, and make it lightweight sexual. 

Like my bio says something along the lines of “fun sized” and “I can add a little spice to your life” BLAH. I’m not like that at all, but again, it’s a role.

And finally, I know there is an “attitude and role” to play, but if you truly want your arrangement to work out, respect is KEY, it is a two way street and being kind can get you very far. It is a fine line between having your personal morales and being a straight bitch. 

Good luck ladies, I wish you all the best in the sugar bowl!

1. Refuses to show pics. If he has no pics on is sugar profile and won’t send any or won’t send face shots, despite many requests to see more pics of you he’s a sleeze. And if you put in a CL ad that they must send a pic for a pic and they don’t send one in the first email, he’s a sleeve. If you have to ask or they claim they are entitled to your pic first, don’t bother.

2. Asks too many questions about your living situation. If they’re asking anything more than can you host at your place and how much rent you pay, they’re asking too much. If you tell them you have roommates and they insist on asking about them, they’re a sleeve. Eventually, they’ll get around to asking you if you sleep with your roommates and if they can watch. 3. If they want alone time immediately. If your POT is asking you to meet at his place or spend the night together, no date, just come over and “cuddle,” they’re a sleeze. Especially if you haven’t had a first date or met in person.

4. Doesn’t understand the lingo. This typically happens with CL POTs and idiots who sign up on cheap ass sugar sites like sugarbaby4u. They ask you what an arrangement is or what SD means, they’re not a sugar daddy and they have no money and they are not worth your time 5. tacky messages. If you get a message, especially on sites like SD4M and sugarbaby4u, that is short, uses bad grammar, and punctuation, and is non-specific, it’s most likely a bot or scammer. Especially if the guy is out of state and doesn’t actually reference an arrangement or any info from your profile. 6. pauses when money is discussed. If your POT has to pause and calculate his monthly expenses when allowance is mentioned, he’s a sleeze. If they too readily suggest paying per meet or won’t go above $500 a month, even over time, they’re a sleeze. Don’t settle ladies. You’re worth more.

7. early commitment

Right off the bat, they suggest moving in with them, they’re a sleeve

8. Doesn’t have papers.

If you tell your POT That you don’y have unprotected sex without an STD screening and they tell you they’ve been tested recently, but have no proof, they’re a sleeze. And if they refuse to be tested again or go with you, they’re a sleeze. If they insist that you trust them or have sex with a condom, but no test, they’re a sleeze.

9. Ask for measurements.

If they need to know your cup size, panty size, or measurements, they’re a sleeze. No legit POT off the bat needs to know your bra size. Especially if they’re not buying you clothes.

10. is very sexually suggestive.

This is going to be a long post, but it could potentially save your reputation and protect your identity. 

Everyone advocates a fake name etc. and this is excellent advice as it makes it that little bit harder to trace you. Nevertheless, fabulously wealthy individuals need to take security precautions of their own and they can hire a team to find you if they want to know who you really are. There’s a few steps that will make it almost impossible for them to trace you, so I’ll explain how to implement them :) 

1. The absolutely most importantthing you can do to cover up your tracks is to download Tor. Tor is a piece of online anonymity software that The Silk Road, among many other sites, used. It will stop any SDs or people in  their employment from tracing your IP Address. If an SD gets your IP, he can use it to find out your name and address. Tor hides your real IP address, which avoids any paper trail that links you to your sugar baby persona. I haven’t seen this tip suggested by anyone else, so please share it with everyone on the tag. There’s been a lot of outings recently so its important that we stay safe online. You can download tor at https://www.torproject.org 

2. Buy a prepaid mobile and pay for it in cash, or use the google voice app. I would advise you more towards a prepaid mobile for sugaring (even ask an SD to buy you a phone) since it is a different phone and so avoids you accidentally answering your phone with Hello, its ******* out of habit and giving them your real name.

3. Build up your online persona. Create a fake facebook with only a picture and put on extreme privacy settings so that even your friends list is hidden (since there probably aren’t any friends on it). Comment on blogs etc. If they run a background check on you and nothing turns up, it is a bit suspicious- if they find stuff that links back to the name you’ve given it seems more credible and they are far less likely to dig any deeper.

4. Get your facts straight. Keep records of your supposed birthdays etc and stick to stories. Any disparities risk raising suspicion.

Law Of Attraction

Power of The Pussy

Goal Diggers Guide by Baje Fletcher

The Secret

How To Marry A Millionaire

Art Of Seduction

The Secret Life of a Video Vixen

Please reblog for inspiration.

Music Playlist Includes:

Diva- Beyonce’

Buttons- Pussy Cat Dolls

Get Your Money Up- Keri Hilson, Keyshia Cole and Trina

Buyou-Keri Hilson

Pour It Up- Rihanna

Look At Me Now- Chris Brown, Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne

Get Busy- Sean Paul

Body Party- Ciara

Put That Ass To Work- LMFAO

Motivation- Kelly Rowland

Love Faces- Trey Songz

Gotta Make It- Trey Songz

Fancy- Drake

Whatever You Like- T.I.

Daddy’s Home- Usher

Lil Freak- Usher Feat. Nicki Minaj

You’re naked body captured on film in someone else’s phone that you have never met before is worth?…$0.00 fucking dollars is what the answer should be. The last time I checked you were not a porn star.

There is no hinting about allowance when he doesn’t hint your ass about sex/naughty photos. Be straight forward without being rude!

He doesn’t want to discuss allowance after at least 3 meets/conversations? ..Boy bye

YOU don’t know how to bring up allowance?…Girl bye

He wants sex..you don’t?..Tell HIM!! Why are you telling/asking me/anybody else but YOURSELF how to tell him no? It is very simple and it goes like this…NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO

So the fuck what you will lose a potential SD. Do you know how many fucking men are in this world; because they are saying “Do you know how many fucking women are in this world?” when you refuse them.

You want to know why he has not responded to you or your profile/ad? Why your superb written profile has gotten you great messages but no actual SD? 15,000 other girls around the GLOBE copied and pasted it and used it too that are on the SAME SITES AS YOU ARE! Congratulations! (TIPS are meant to GUIDE you, not for you to use as your own; STOP plagiarizing!) 

See a post you don’t like? Reblog and comment, ignore/block and or stfu with subliminal separate posting like people don’t know who you are talking about? That’s how shit get fucking started in a tag.

Vets/Seasoned/Spgfs/whatever the fuck name you give successful /experienced SB’s are not rude/bitches because they don’t answer your redundant ass questions when their are TIP LINKS on their fucking page! Like hello!!!!!

STOP jinxing yourself aka Post 1: Omg I’m talking to like 10 Pots right now..Pot A:….Pot B….Pot C…Pot D…Pot E…etc….Post 2: All those mfs were salty. Anybody know what sites to use for real SDs?…You look stupid, gullible, naive and NO we ALL use the same fucking sites!!!

Can somebody..anybody..tell me what a “pre-pot” is? Is that some 2013 rollover 2014 new shit? I entered the bowl in 2010 before departing in 2013 with my bf so I’m a bit confused where this new term come from.

If you think/feel it’s cheap or you are being low-balled then you are right. You DO NOT need re-confirmation from other people making whatever times more than you, less than you, or the same amount as you!

The “Perfect One“ disappeared? Move the fuck on. Why are you asking advice on how to get them back or what you did wrong? OBVIOUSLY they did not want to communicate with you or they will resurface one day.

Last but not least, DO YOU and quit worrying about what the fuck everybody else think about your post, the money/allowance/gifts.etc  you get. So the fuck what 1 post got 13+ likes and the other got 0. Either keep or stop posting. You can not make people like you or your story/stories!!

That Is All,

I just had  “The Light Blub Moment”.

Well, come to find out, I have found a way for your future Craigslist Ads will never get deleted.

As I am scrolling down the ads, I have noticed the “Helpful Details” section where you can add whatever you want such as your Zodiac Signs, Likes and Dislikes and so on and so forth.

Here is a link of what I am talking about:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/w4m/4420066241.html

Look at the right hand side how I just added everything I wanted the reader to know. I specifically stated that I am seeking an older man, I would like to be spoiled, I want a benefactor/Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy type of relationship, I want to travel ETC.